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Lazy Jones - Subtune 21 Remix


Mordi
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k, this sound pretty identical to the original. Except at 1:51, which I haven't heard of, then again I'm not TOO too familiar with the original.

overall, this is very plain, stale, dull, boring, simple, minimal, etc. the synths sound thin, the drums have no punch whatsoever, and the song doesn't really go anywhere.

Not the worst thing I've ever heard, but it's pretty beginner sounding. Keep practicing.

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Don't worry about mixing drums to get them the ultimate punch, focus on taking the theme and interpreting it in some cool way. You sound like remixer material tho, imho. Focus on making this interesting to listen to, and then worry about the details of mixing and effects. Much later.

See if you can pull something else from the source to vary it more. Write it so it would be enjoyable even if it was played on sine wave only. Practice, experiment, and see what happens. This is, as Skryp says, "pretty beginner sounding", but it's not bad. Play around with your sequencer and samples, and see what you can come up with.

And don't forget to come back and impress us with how far you've come. :D

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The synths sound simple and weak, and I believe, personally, that it could go well into a ambient/breakbeat kind of style.

Cool intro, it goes in nicely to anticipate what is coming next, when the energy builds. What you have at the 2-minute mark is a good change of pace, and a good place to emphasize the breakbeat style I was talking about.

Incidentally, this is a song Zombie Nation remixed into a very popular trance anthem, making it probably the most famous video game music remix of all time. So I can't help but think of Zombie Nation when listening to this. Don't think you have that working against your favor, though. Just give it your personal spin and the song will become your own.

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Thanks for the feedback, I have uploaded a better version of the song now. It has more variation and the synth are more fleshed out. Maybe a bit too much? I also turned the kick up to eleven, as well as added one more melody from the game (Lazy Jones). There is a lot of nice melodies there (99 red balloons, even :P)

Please give some feedback on the second draft.

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Sounds a lot better... up until 0:29, where a waay too fat lead comes in. Dampen it. At 0:54, everything sounds better again, and I like the semi-simple backing synths there, they're siomple, but not too simple. 1:21, a break, finally. 1:27, more break. Nice to rest the ears. When the lead, comes back, without being cut off by the filter (which btw sounds great), at about 1:40, I've gotten tired of that melody.

Good thing it changes right thereatfter. I still feel you've overdone the break and the lead melody overstayed its welcome. Spice it up, mix it up, rework it to be different. Please. New melodies work better, but it still feels a bit repetitive, you should try to twist it, like move it up a few notes and make it work in the same key, idunno, something else.

2:16 yougottabekiddingme. Again? Okay so, it's half as fast, but still. Save it for later. The break is good. You didn't fall into the newb trap of making it completely silent either, tho I'd drop the volume of the pad a bit.

2:50 or so, new drums? Some remixes work well with drums changed. This one doesn't. Use the old ones. Or is it just the bass drum with a cutoff? Doesn't sound good tho. Works later on, in the ending section, but I think you went back to the old bass drum there.

The orchestra hits don't sound good either, but those could be tweaked. They've got too much attack and volume.

Speed change before 3:30, great! The then appearing higher-range backing synth is too simple, fix that. The earmurdering higher-pitch backing melody is terrible. Both instrumentation and melody, there's something clashing, and it hurts my ears. See if you can bring doiwn the earmurderness of it.

And you need a better ending.

Overall, this is a big step in the right direction, Mordi. A few fixes, and then the butchering and shortening begins. You've got a lot of repetition you either need to cut out or vary more. The remix is currently at a pretty good length, so I suggest you don't add length without removing some first. But that's just me.

It does suffer a lot from medley-itis between sections, see if you can bridge them by introducing rhythms or instrumentation earlier, and/or building transitions (preferably by removing repetition).

Good luck!

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You know how I said I felt the melody overstayed its welcome in the second version? Well now you've got the opposite problem, it went by too fast.

I'd lose the noise ambience in the intro. I like how the melody is audible in it, but it sounds accidental, and the low volume makes you wonder what went wrong. Then you raise the volume, and the track kicks out of the intro. Ouch. But I do like how those few notes that play right before the main section feel like a warning.

Something I'd do, and recall having done on some old original works, play the intro on simple silent synths, maybe even put a bitcrusher on them, volume lower than normal. Then crash into the real track with normal volume. If it makes sense to you, try it out.

The synths are a bit too simple most of the time, you should add some life to them using envelopes and modulation. Nothing too drastic, but enough to make them feel less like electric current and more like synthesized sound.

You've also got some transition problems, you drastically change the soundscape between different sections. It makes it very medley-itic. Make the transitions more transitional. :P 0:54 is a bad one (0:46 is better). 1:05 good. 1:46, that's the worst.

Also, your jumping from section to section kills direction. I have no idea where the remix is going, if it's heading for a big finale, or if it's fading out. Dunno how well you know movie theory, but in every scene, things either go better or worse, and throughout, it's heading towards disaster that'll be averted at the last minute. A track doesn't need to follow the same dramatic curve, but it should still follow _a_ dramatic curve. Think it through, where do you want it to go?

These new melodies and stuff, is it from source or your own stuff?

Overall, I think you went a little too far in your overhaul of this piece, but if you like it more, and learned something from it, it's a win regardless of whether _I_ like the changes or not. Great job so far, but you're not done yet.

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