another....Schala....attempt

[HoboKa]

sorry guys...I can't get this fucking tune out of my head, so I keep on trying to remix it.

This version might be golden. Who knows.

http://www.tindeck.com/audio/my/dmcu/Schala_Reborn

Do you guys?

[HoboKa]

sorry about the major volume out of balance-ness, this is balanced better methinks.

http://www.tindeck.com/audio/my/cwtc/Schala_Reborn_tardilicious_Ver1

Enjoy.

[Radiowar]

nah the balance is pretty off. Out of the multiple string, piano, bell, etc. parts it's not really clear which is meant to be the focus. Your drums sound nice and set a good foundation but melodically it's hard to tell where this begins and where it ends. The drop out seems really sudden and the part following it doesn't seem to be in time at all because of this.

[HoboKa]

Yeah I was too lazy to bridge the transition properly last night. I'll fix that today. And I'll try to fix that EQ stuff.

[blue.nocturne]

It's definitely much better than the CMC entries I've heard from you, but I feel it's lacking a clear focus as Radiowar said. I really can't tell that it's based on a song from Chrono Trigger. Also, it does not really change much. Yes, some instruments disappear and the beat changes at different parts of the song, but I feel it still has the exact same atmosphere.

[HoboKa]

It's definitely much better than the CMC entries I've heard from you, but I feel it's lacking a clear focus as Radiowar said. I really can't tell that it's based on a song from Chrono Trigger. Also, it does not really change much. Yes, some instruments disappear and the beat changes at different parts of the song, but I feel it still has the exact same atmosphere.

and apparently its aimless ><. I hate OCR lol. Thanks for your comments though man.

[HoboKa]

http://www.tindeck.com/audio/my/ryqu/Schala_Reborn_tardilicious_Ver2

Regardless, here's my second version.

[HoboKa]

I'd really like some feedback here, people. I've no doubt in my mind that a ton of other remixers feel the same way for their works.

Rozovian (our lead reviewer and awesome-aspiring remixer) is getting swamped as it is; he's as sick as a pile of rancid shit, he goes to class full time, and he's forced to live off of welfare FFS - to say the least, he's not at his best. Yet here he is reviewing most, if not all of the new remixes, but he can't do it alone.

Moreover, we're getting shit-tons of views per remix and not even 1% of that amount comes back as reviews (more or less anyways, if the average song gets 300 views after a week or two and only 1 or 2 replies in that time frame, if ever). Please, if you're going to view the WIP forums at least TRY to give us helpful feedback.

Anyways, here's my remix. Review it.

http://www.tindeck.com/audio/my/jjyf/Schala_Reborn_Ver4

[blue.nocturne]

I know what you mean, since a lot of people lurk around the forums and don't reply even if they like/hate it. Remember though, everyone does it, even you and me. I suppose the best you can do is reply and comment other people's remixes and hopefully they do it back to you.

And about your latest version:

Do not be offended by anything I say. I'm only saying what I think and hopefully it brings you toward a "YES," because to be honest, this is no where near a "yes" yet. Hopefully this is the kind of feedback you wanted. This took a long time to write, so I hope it gives you extensive use.

What I feel you need to work on is your tone, balance, chord progression, and melody.

Also, when you listen to your song, do you think that this "would this be professional level remix?" Most of the remixes I've heard are at a professional level, or if not, very close to it. It seems it's also about perfecting the slight imperfections of things such as noise, chords/notes that don't quite fit, panning, etc.

If you already know this stuff, you can skip it: Do you have good headphones? With good headphones (that don't enhance the music at all, but only play what is intended), and by turning off audio enhancing effects, (for instance Creative has reverb effects, EQ, bass boost options, turn all those off) you will hear what you made at its "worst." By having it at its "worst," then when you add the audio effects later, then it will definitely turn out better. If you have to add any effects or change the volume of your speakers just to make your song sound better, then you have some major editing to do. Also be careful, bias will make your songs sound better than they really are, so don't be disappointed by harsh reviews.

Now details about your remix... The beginning does not really draw me in, it's really bland and the violins sound really cheap and synthesized. It is also fairly left heavy, so panning may need to be fixed. The panning is fine at around 0:13 to the end. Another thing I noticed is that you don't really reach the volume cap. If you open your file with a mp3 editor like Audacity, you can see the actual sound wave your remix produces. Most songs at least touch the very highest amplitude, (where the wave cannot go higher) but yours does not touch it anywhere. I notice a lot of remixes settle on the verge of crackling (it crackles if the wave attempts to surpass max amplitude) in order to give their remix more OOMPH. Just open professional remixes and the remixes here and compare.

Also, sometimes it's better just to stack more instruments on top of each other instead of trying to add harmonies and rhythms and stuff. Like the violins in the background don't seem strong enough. They need to be reinforced with more strings or some type of bass is needed to blend with it.

I find the tone really confusing. I'm not sure what the melody is. Is it supposed to be the violins or what the piano is playing? Course don't answer this question, this type of question should not be asked, since once you balance it, we'll automatically know what is the main focus. Basically, if you have to explain parts of the song, then something is not right. Think of where our attention will be focused and where we think the melody will be, and try to enhance what you want to be the main focus by making everything else softer, making the focus louder, or perhaps make it a middle-high pitch.

I think the answer lies in the original song. At the beginning Mitsuda's original piece, you KNOW that the bells are the first focus. Then strings are added in, and they become the new focus, also he adds a harmony to the bells, but they are sneaky and hidden in order to make sure the strings are the focus. After the entrance of strings, you the hear the entrance of percussion about 4 measures later. The focus doesn't really shift to the percussion, but more to the beat of the percussion. As soon as you get used to the beat, he then adds in this english horn/oboe-like instrument, which plays the melody, and that instrument remains the focus of the song until the end.

Now, that's actually very simple, but extremely addicting and successful. Your song is a little over complicated in some sections, and it makes the focus sort of blur everywhere. You have to make sure the chords of your song follow your melody. I notice that you sometimes try to progress your song by changing the chord, which is fine, but at the same time you are adding things like piano which don't really agree with your chords. Chords try to show us one thing and the melody another; it overwhelms the listener and it just doesn't work for that reason.

Do you, yourself believe that what you made is catchy? Or if it is not, then do you try to make up for the boring parts by adding something catchy? It's hard to find catchy due to it being "all over the place." Try listening to other music, try to forget all that you were planning to do, and completely forget what you intended to do in the remix. Then listen to your own remix. If you honestly can follow your piece 100%, then it should be okay. If some sections are "sketchy" or feels like it is "missing something" then try to figure out what's missing or what seems wrong and try to fix it. If there is even 1% doubt in my opinion, then there could be a problem, or it could be improved.

Hope this helps. This is just my opinion, so it doesn't necessarily mean I'm the expert on this stuff. I'm just saying what I notice and what I see, and the tips are just things that I have done. Don't take my word for everything, since I haven't really gotten any successful remixes yet, but no one was giving in-depth feedback and this was the best I could do.

[Nicholestien]

The only reason I read the threads in WIP is because I love seeing how veteran oc remixers rip on everything everyone post, I just love seeing the flood of asshole cristism this board has to offer, gives me a good chuckle, also the large amount of post that are ignored, (mines are a prime example).

But hey, look at the bright side, your lucky you got any feedback at all, and if it just happends to be GOOD feedback, you just may be on to something!

And if it's alot of good feedback, reaches 5 or more pages etc, *which rarely happends*, you just might have about 13% chance of getting it yes'd by the judges. :]

happy mixing son. :]

[Rozovian]

"Sick as a pile of rancid shit"? Wow, I really feel appreciated now.

The piano is, most of the time, too soft, but there are occasional notes that just jump at you. Too much humanization, or bad samples, I don't know, I'd guess the former. It's also really dry in comparison to the rest of the soundscape.

The strings work, but much of the time they're bad. There was some sour notes in the intro.

The drums are cool, I was hoping for double-speed drums sliced and done like the section after the intro. The drums are still cool the rest of the song, most of the fills and thingies sound good to me, but the first section was the best. The drums are a bit too wet for my taste, too, could be harder, sharper, brighter...

It's kind'a repetitive. The sections are different from each other, yeah, but there's not that much variation within them. It's a matter of taste more than it's a technical problem, tho.

I thought I heard a few tempo changes, at least between the mid section and the last one. When you've got a beat, tempo changes are really obvious. Besides, why'd you want to slow down for the last section?

There were some panning issues that bothered me, especially the lead and piano in the lastsection. The lead would occasionally jump to the right channel. The drums make this a bit too messy for that to work. In a song with a cleaner drumscape, it would be awesome.

The ending is... bad. It's not abrupt, it's just... not good. As a fade, it works, but it still feels a bit too open-ended. Fading out everything but the piano might be cool (or just fading the piano slower than the rest of the tracks). I don't know, that's just a suggestion I thought of when I heard it.

So, criticisms aside, this was a pretty cool track. I'm too lazy to look up source, but knowing you, I have a feeling it's relatively close. Here's how I see it on the checklist. Note the difference between uppercase and lowercase X's.

PERFORMANCE (live recorded audio/MIDI parts)

[ ] Timing not tight enough

[X] Wrong notes, general sloppiness

[ ] Poorly recorded

[X] Bad intonation

STRUCTURE

[ ] Lacks coherence overall

[x] Not enough changes in sounds

[ ] Pace too plodding

[x] Too repetitive

[ ] Too short

[x] Abrupt ending

[HoboKa]

Thanks for the critique Rho . And yes it is very appreciated <3