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Geeky Stoner

wip Mario UnderGround Theme Remix

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Hello my name is Michael but I'm known as Geeky Stoner on the Internet.I'm new to the OCremix community but I've been coming to the site for while now.

Fist off Ive only been messing around with the fruity loops demo for a couple months now so i don't fully grasp the program yet.I hope the mix doesn't come off too repetitive I tried some effects and filters and a little rearranging to break up the monotony but over all it doesn't stray too far from the source material.So gimme some input please on what you think of this remix and whether its up to OCremix standards.

Edit took this version down Panders critique is really spot on how this version sounded.

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Answering your last question first, yes this is up to OCRemix standards. I recommend submission on March 30th or 31st.

On a more serious examination and critique...

I think you are probably aware about the problems with the samples. The bulk of them simply sound bad or abrasive. The volumes are way off, with a lot of the higher freqs way too loud (and headache inducing). The panning effects should be a bit more subtle (and not simply a sledgehammer of "I'm doing panning right now" a la 1:30).

And yes, it is one of the most repetitive remixes I've ever heard. You've basically repeated the same 20 second melody over a dozen times with slight variations each time in samples and drum patterns.

In short, this song is the aural equivalent of steel wool having its way with my ears sexually.

You have options here, however. One is to break from the source. Be creative, invent something, take it somewhere else. You cannot play the same melody over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

The samples are simply bad most of the time.

You've got the right idea with "drums + lead synth" = good thing, but maybe layer it a bit more. And with stuff that doesn't clash, like 2:55 does.

3:20 just sounds bad. You're trying to transition between synths it sounds like, but they go together horrible. Probably related to the sample quality.

The background effect hanging around at 3:40-3:45 is actually a really good launching point for a creative take on the source. It sounds murky, like tar bubbling. That fits thematically with the whole idea of mario being in underground plumbing. Why not try to work that into a remix, rather than creating 20 different ways of hearing the same theme?

Good luck. Keep at it.

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thank you for the critique Pander.

Brutally Honest but thats what I'm looking for.

Like I said Ive only been messing with flstudio for a couple months.

Pretty much my method for getting the mario loop was taking a midi file from vgmusic using it as reference on the notes NOT in the actual song itself and try to recreate the three main riffs in it with two different instuments in flstudio,blank and alarma, and since I'm using the demo i cant save project data i have to do everything in one sitting so in order to use those loops again i made them into wav files maybe thats why the loops came out bad or maybe i picked the wrong instruments.This is the third version of this song so far so pretty much the loops your hear right at the beginning would be the basic version of the loop before any effects go on it then it gets more distorted as it continues but as you said that doesnt come off sounding well.I will try to be a little more subtle with that. i did kinda like what i did when it skips fast at 0:36 what did you think about that.I kinda do a couple little variations with that.I'm glad you liked the sort of background bass at 3:40 technically theres three versions of that riff in the song. Overall I agree with what your saying though It needs more work period.

.

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Alright I thought about what you said and i think this version is much better.

I Learned something new about Fruity Loops too while i was making this remix too which made it much better.I Discovered the piano roll which is (for those who don't know out there is playing multiple notes simultaneously) exactly was and also actually how to use a midi file in Fruity Loops.So i actually did use the Midi file this Time and once again i Broke it up into Three Patterns to compose the whole Loop.This was much easier than the other method i was using. which was load the Midi file and study the notes and try to recreate them using the normal input for notes also i didn't know about the piano roll so it wasn't multiple notes.I guess this method might be cheating a bit, i suppose you can answer that for me. But I didn't just rip the midi and be done with it i also altered the notes a bit you'll hear the variation at 1:18 that bass riff you liked comes in at 3:00.i made the ending kinda slow I'm wondering how you'll like that.Oh also i didn't mean for this sledgehammer of panning to come out in the last version it must've been the LovePhilter effect in FruityLoops Im not really sure how to control the panning on that sorry.I also payed attention to the volume levels as well.

Edit took this one down too this one had some interesting ideas but never came together as a cohesive song

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It sounds like you're aiming for the right goal: Improving your knowledge about the mechanics of mixing. This is definitely better than the first mix. It still sort of suffers from the same thematic problem of the first piece. It has the underground theme's melody mixing and adjusted nine ways from sunday and strewn together in a way that doesn't suggest a cohesive vision of a song. It's just a bunch of different effects and samples of the same general melody, with a few periods of original alterations.

But like I said above, that's perfectly fine because your primary job right now is to build your skill. Sorry for being too harsh earlier, it's always easier to criticize than create (fun too sometimes!), you've got the right idea. Your mix is still both too haphazard and too close to the source to be an OCR. It's definitely tighter than the original, keep working on it as you have. If you like mixing, read everything you can to help lessen the learning curve. An hour spent reading is an hour you don't pull your hair out wondering why that track isn't playing right.

I don't know if you have a version you can save your songs on (I thought FL demo didn't let you), but for your own edification here are a few notes I had on some parts of the song.

Intro - 0:20 - Note for note replication...you can get away with this for a few seconds, sometimes longer if it's apt or you layer an instrument on top or change a pattern slightly, but this is absolutely note for note with minimal adjustment. 20s is too long.

BUILD ON 1:50-2:22! That was your money segment right there. It got way too chaotic towards the end there, but you have the right idea in layering multiple instruments, building towards a good groovey beat. It was cacaphony, too many conflicting rhythms and synths, but it was a welcome relief from the last version that seemed to enforce a "one sound at a time" rule.

2:25-2:39 has a synth that's waaaaay louder than the rest of the piece, it's the one with the huge amount of echo (sounds like it was run through an "indoor" or "bathroom" filter). Might want to adjust the levels there.

Better job!

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Well the demo version of flstudio doesn't seem to let you save the project data, the patterns,effects and whole composition of the song basically.You can however render anything you've made as an audio file.So once you've made a whole song or loop you just click render as audio file and viola you've made a song but sadly you cannot edit it once you've closed the program all of your data of the creation of the song is lost.I feel this version is good so far. I really don't feel like doing this song again for a day or two, thanks for the input nonetheless.

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Do you see links what are you doing back here!?

OK lets try this again i tried to concentrate on structure mostly this time trying to blend it all into one whole piece.The general idea is to start off basic and progressively get more complex. i changed the tempo a couple times on the core loop,I think everything blends together really well.Honestly though I don't like this version too much personally.Don't get me wrong i think is a better piece overall but it never gets loud or heavy enough for my taste.

*edit I deleted this version it was ok,like what my brother said it was a crisper version but maybe a little too crisp.Anyway i was getting too many versions of the song as it is*

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Just an opinion, I heard the first version and this one and of course, it's better.

I'd just want to say that during the 0:56-1:28 part, I thought you were building something. The music began to take form, some elements joined in, I was waiting for the "core" of your remix. But after, everything stops for something else. And weird imo. It lacks... consistency. As I like to eat good steak and play a big game in HD, I like to hear music that catch my ears.

Make it lively, give it some fuel, don't be shy...

Good luck, you have good ideas so you can do something ^^

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Thanks for the opinion.the last version i posted i did right when i got up today and i don't think i was in the right state of mind.and i kinda of hit a creative wall at the end which probably why that weird slowed down riff at the end its actually really hard to slow that ending riff down manually and i don't think i got it quite right.The first one was just really kinda of toying with the melody a lot and just making random stuff.As i stated before I'm using the demo version of fruity loops so i kinda have to rush the whole piece in a couple hours.It is fun though doing this over and over even if is frustrating at times.I listen to every other version of the theme on this site for inspiration i liked the drums in injurys version.I guess my goal originally was to make a really warped out sort techno version of the underground theme.

I might try this again tonight if i find the time.

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I'd really recommend upgrading to something that you can save with. Right now it's gotta feel like Groundhog Day, you keep re-creating the same thing from scratch every day. That's hell, don't put yourself through that. It's certainly the kind of repetition that'll help you get faster at building in FLDemo, but eventually you'll want the kind of time that's required to adjust every note and effect that you can't get with the demo.

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Alright i think this version is pretty good.

I like how i arranged the main theme loop in this.

I think the different percussions really keeps things together in this.

Tell me what you think?

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i need to learn the notes to the crescendo verse... crescendo is down, right? god i cant remember...

anyways, i cant read music, the first 6-24 notes are easy enough, but i cant get the song right...

aaaanyways enough about that, i like this mix. it's good. kind of slow and easy going, it gives a sort of hazy maze feeling while listening. im enjoying it.

then about halfway through, it feels a little more upbeat, and im thinking of an industrial block theme, but with mario objects all about and pipes leading places (as they do tend to do) or maybe a smelter theme...

then it slows down a little again and we've gone from hazy maze to an iron works to an abandoned industrial warehouse.

these mental impressions are good impressions. this is a well composed song :)

the outro is beautiful.

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Thanks for the input everyone.I would've posted sooner but my monitor crashed and i had to get a new one.However that did give me a chance to really listen to my latest version deeply and i think i can recreate this version fairly easily,I remember the drum loops the synths the effects everything and i think it just needs a little fine tuning.I'm going to adjust the filtered cymbals,they tend to drown out everything sometimes and I'm going to try to build on the core theme a little bit more because i really didn't on the last one

i just rearranged the loops here and there.Once again thank you all so much for your critiques and opinions you all really helped me refine this song.

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OK just finished this.I like it, but I'm a little uncertain about it.

alright so tell me if you think its up to snuff?

(Edit) oh yeah I was never really able to expand on the original theme i tried a few things but they never worked out

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alright i broke the mold a little with this one.kinda going for a trance sound on this one i think.Its a little simple but i like what i did with the theme in this one even built on it a little.(no new notes but i little extension here and there)

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alright just recently gave zircons tutorials a read yesterday.so I'm reading up like you said pander.

Can't believe i was using blatant delay drums in the last one.

Well i still am technically on this but its a lot more subtle and its just a electronic kick not a full drum loop sample.

Oh yeah speaking of drum loop samples there out i made all the drums myself' in fact most of this was me.The bass synth from 1:23 to 2:03 wasn't my own creation though but i did tinker with it though (some distortion and tone changes.)Its get kinda more industrial sounding around 2:11 tell me if you think I went to far with the distortion, as my last ear raping venture didn't turn out so well

Caution this it is a little LOUD so maybe adjust the volume accordingly.

So pick it apart,say what sucks,what works, what ya love, what ya hate.

Oh yeah I'm not really good with titles if anyone out there has any title suggestions i appreciate it and you'd get the credit for coming up with a title.

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Alright i kinda dig what i did with this one.

I think my skills are improving alot been a while since i tried this theme.

gave it another try again tonight i think this turned out ok.

(the drums are not too good after a couple listens)

overall I like what i did with the main theme with this,

did several variations on the main theme.

So tell me what you all think out there.

Forgot to post the source(still a newb :P)

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Most of the first minute was just toying with the same drum sounds and the delayed melody. It's followed by a new instrument playing the melody, and more drum toying. All I'm hearing is one or two instruments plus some drums. It only got interesting around 4:00 which is way too late. This sounds like something you've learned your DAW with, and that is good, but it's miles from getting on ocr. I hope you didn't have any illusions about that. Sorry about being all negative there.

This could be a good read for you. You might also be better off with a source that's a little more... substantial.

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Nah i haven't submitted anything to ocr yet i don't think i've made anything submittable yet personally.but i hope to get there one day.

Also the reason im choose such a short source is because i'm using the demo of fl studio so i have to make the song in one sitting.

id love to make a song with more source(i have midis that i haven't even used)but i want to wait until i have the full version so i can make something to go back and edit.

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Yeah, man. The full version of FL Studio is worth it. DO IT!

Not a bad style ya got goin on here... minimal instruments with the gnar bass works for me. The last 30secs is perdy decent.

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This might be useful to you, it'll get you some much-needed save-functionality. :P On the flip side, it's a whole new program to learn.

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This might be useful to you, it'll get you some much-needed save-functionality. :P On the flip side, it's a whole new program to learn.

oh wow thank Roz thats F'ing awesome thanks for the link man.

ill look into this in a couple days,looks pretty cool.

the full version(the deluxe one with all the synths and functions i like so much costs $300)

so i'm stuck with free stuff right now.

(oh and don't think your being all that negative Roz your being more realistic than anything).

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i meant to post this last night but i was tired after i made it last night.

Though that did give me a couple chances to listen to it before I posted it.

well the drumloop slicing idea was scrapped.i tried arranging all the percussions myself.

so any opinions on how this sounds what works,what sucks?

please post

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well i made another version last night

you can take a listen if you feel like it.

I don't know if my music is that good.

this might be my last post on ocr.

I don't think i have what it takes to be good at making music.

my lack of proper musical knowledge really shows,I'm about as amateur as you can get.

this doesn't come from any of the critiques or opinions from this forum, all the comments are really constructive and helpful and encouraging.This comes from comparing my music to tracks from this site,i'll listen to something from ocr and i think, God i'll never be able to make anything like this.

It really feels like I'm grasping for straws at this point.

This was a fun little hobby for a couple months and I'm getting a little better i guess, but I'm still far from making anything quality sounding.

I'm thinking about getting the full version of fruityloops at some point, but im not sure if that such a wise purchase at this point

So maybe ill just stop wasting mine and everyone on the wip forums time.

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I have minimal formal music theory knowledge, and I seem to be doing fine (shut up, Gario :D). It's not about that, it's about making stuff that sound good.

Using a real short, minimalist source isn't a good idea if you're still learning to both arrange and mix. Why don't you pick an easier source to play with, like Red Brinstar from Super Metroid? Grab a midi file and just mix it, focus on the sound. Play it along other music, from ocr or wherever, compare, try to figure out what makes their works sound good.

Hints: subtle reverb, mix with volume and EQ, compress stuff, don't try something too advanced too soon, use pads in the bg.

There's some interesting ideas in this, tho. It's not impossible to remix this well, and once you get how to mix stuff, how to make stuff sound, you could focus on structuring the ideas in this into a cohesive progression.

You're not wasting our time. Or your own. You're learning, having fun, and we get to help you out.

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