Paper Mario: Bite Me

[Altermentality]

Current Remix Version: http://tindeck.com/listen/uqpt

Remix (first version)

(just listen to it for like 20 seconds, that'll be enough, I promise )

Another source

Sound effects used

By Timbre (http://www.freesound.org/usersViewSingle.php?id=1015240)

tc630__psychotic_laugh_stereotypical_madness effect.wav (http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=74261)

By mich3d (http://www.freesound.org/usersViewSingle.php?id=32482)

BigDogBarking_02.wav (http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=24965)

By Koops (http://www.freesound.org/usersViewSingle.php?id=29508)

Apple_Crunch_16.wav (http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=20279)

By ggctuk (http://www.freesound.org/usersViewSingle.php?id=638065)

comic bite 2.wav (http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=80551)

I decided to remix Tutankoopa's theme because I remember really liking all the desert music from Paper Mario, and I like him as a character- some grumpy Koopa who's (claiming to be?) a pharaoh and hangs out in a pyramid with his dear pets. I was able to recall his theme: "Oh yeah, it goes like this! And then there's... some other parts I can't remember." But when I listened to it again, it turns out I really did remember it all, because it's just the same ten measures repeated over and over again. Seriously.

But I think the ridiculous redundancy of the song worked to my advantage by encouraging me to get a little bit of material to sound as good as I can. I tried to vary the soundscape sufficiently here, and at the end I threw in the bassline from Dry Dry Desert proper.

The name, of course, comes from Tut's not-so-loyal Chomps that he uses in this battle.

I'm still a newbie and would like advice on anything you can give me.

Unusual problem: I don't know if you guys hear this, but every time the kick comes in there's a little chirping that goes with it. There is nothing in the arrangement to account for this, and I don't hear it in my MP3 render, only when I upload it to the internet (and I've tried two different places). Is this just an issue of reduced quality? What's going on here?

Thanks, everyone!

[Sansato]

Pretty kickass if you ask me. I may go to the trouble of acquiring the finished product when possible.

As you know Alter, I'm no expert, but I do believe that you did quite well with the source material. I kinda doubt that this remix is in need of much else, but you may want to wait for more comments from other members before you declare this one finished.

As for the problem with the kick drum, I didn't notice it. If it is there, chances are that it's a problem with reduced quality on the hosting site. As long as the original file is clean, you should be fine.

[ncocs]

I agree with Sansato. This is amazing. I really don't know what else you should add...maybe some sounds from the original track, for a flashback/deja vu effect, in the quiet spots. Other than that, amazing. Love it. Keep it up.

[Altermentality]

Thank you very much, guys. However, I still feel that this remix is missing something, I just don't know what yet.

As for the nostalgia bits... that's an intriguing idea. The original instrument I had for the main melody was a banjo that sounded a lot more like the original version. But I don't know if I want to go there... I think the whole thing is already pretty nostalgic.

I think I'm also going to chop off the little bit of bassline that lingers at the ending.

[ncocs]

Do not chop off that end part.

[ncocs]

Do not chop off that end part. I like it.

[melody]

i hear the chirp, try reducing the mid frequencies of your kick. otherwise the production sounds pretty good

[Altermentality]

i hear the chirp, try reducing the mid frequencies of your kick. otherwise the production sounds pretty good

Ok, thanks!

Also, I'll keep the end part for now, then.

Hmm. Any constructive criticism? There must be something that bothers someone. Oh well, until I get some, I have other things to work on. (Including schoolwork. Eheh.)

[ncocs]

No criticism, but I still think that the nostalgia effect sounds would add to it a whole lot.

[Altermentality]

No criticism, but I still think that the nostalgia effect sounds would add to it a whole lot.

Oh you know what might be cool, a little cartoony "CHOMP!" sound effect in there once or twice =P I do like this song as it is, but I'm considering making an altered version that's somehow more manic.

I hate to bump this, but I still never got the constructive criticism I would have liked. If anyone wants to offer, I'd be very thankful.

[VitalAssent]

This is a very nice mix. The instruments sound great, no real issues except for the "chirp" right at the beginning. But that's the only problem I hear, and it's hard to even tell it's there once the song starts. If you can get that fixed, that would be the only thing I can think of.

I know you're looking for things to fix, but I can't find any real problems. I am still pretty new to this, so take it with a grain of salt, but I really like it.

[Altermentality]

This is a very nice mix. The instruments sound great, no real issues except for the "chirp" right at the beginning. But that's the only problem I hear, and it's hard to even tell it's there once the song starts. If you can get that fixed, that would be the only thing I can think of.

I know you're looking for things to fix, but I can't find any real problems. I am still pretty new to this, so take it with a grain of salt, but I really like it.

Thank you very much!

I checked the mid frequencies of the kick, as suggested earlier, but they are already down to pretty much nothing... I think it's just the quality issue of Tindeck, since I heard it doesn't always upload at 100% quality and the chirp is definitely not there in my original version. The same thing happens when I use Dropbox. But I don't really want to mess with it because it sounds fine on the MP3 on my computer.

[SonicThHedgog]

song is excellent, but the kick fells weak

[Altermentality]

I made some minor adjustments. Quite minor, but I don't know what else needs to be done. Tell me if the kick still feels weak to you, because any more than this and it felt overly strong to me.

That chirp will NOT go away. I noticed it's not just the kick, but you can also hear it in some of the low bass parts when they're more isolated. But it's only when I upload it to the internet, not on the original mp3 =/

http://www.tindeck.com/listen/ygde

[ncocs]

The kick could be a little stronger...

I really like it, so if you could update it more, it would be soooo awesome. I really want to see how it turns out!

[Altermentality]

Alrighty! It's a bit kickier, AND... oh man. It has sound effects. Chomping, barking, and haunting laughter. Everything that is Tutankoopa and his pets.

http://tindeck.com/listen/nrzq

Also, I'm going to mark this as "finished"... because it is. I don't think I'm going to change very much of it, but I'd still like any advice on production issues or anything that stands out.

So I'll go ahead and add this version to the first post.

[DarkSim]

Hey, this is a fun remix, I like it!

Only problem really is the kick drum - it pretty much ruins the song for me I don't think you need it to be so bassy! It hurts my ears after a while, and interferes with the bass during the dog barking part as well. Would love to hear it with a new kick, try it!

[Altermentality]

Thank you very much!

Changed the instrumentation very slightly, including the bass part, which I ultimately decided was overpowering. Played around with cleaning up some parts of it, messing with volume levels and panning. And I thought I was almost done!

But I do think it sounds more interesting now, and the kick is no longer murderous. Now I fear it's too weak =/

Anyway, I don't think I'm able to make good judgments on this little sleep, so I don't even know if it sounds good or bad anymore. Will post again when I've finally settled on a final improved version.

[Altermentality]

Ok, sorry for the double post But I have an update!

http://tindeck.com/listen/kdnt

It sounds much cooler, I think. And despite thinking I was finished, I changed some instrumentation substantially and even added three new parts: a bassline, an original melody during some of the emptier parts, and a tambourine beat.

...Now I think I am done adding things. I'm so proud of how far I've come. I really have to thank you guys for being a supportive community; it's much less scary here for a newbie than I had feared.

[DarkSim]

Oh wow, what a great improvement! This is seriously cool and I'd go as far as to say it has a chance of getting posted, BUT! It still needs work (sorry!). With that in mind, and the fact it's so close, I'll give you some slightly more picky pointers.

For starters, that kick is better, but really I think you've EQ'd it too much. Looks like you've put a high-cut filter on it round about 1kHz - I'd say that was inadvisable because by cutting out the high frequencies you lose a bit of the snap and character of the sample. I listened to your first mix of it and I have to say I like that kick a little better. Looks like you had the high-cut around 2kHz on that, but really what you want to do is boost the frequencies between 60 and 1000Hz (to taste, depending on the sound you want), then just lower the frequencies you don't want so much of, rather than outright cutting them. This leaves a fuller sound, but allows the lower frequencies to dominate still. That's what I do for my kicks anyway - try it out, see how it sounds. With this in mind, make sure you're low-cutting everything under 100Hz or thereabouts that isn't a kick or bass anyway so nothing interferes with those important low frequencies.

0:07 - Consider increasing the max frequency of this synth, or adding some phasing/auto-filtering to it. I think a slight phaser combined with a slightly higher frequency cutoff would make this synth sound really shine. As it is, I'm expecting it to filter in and really dominate the mids, but it's just held back a little.

0:10 - Conversely, these stabs really stand out and could probably benefit from a little filtering in. Might be fixed if the synth is brought up a bit more though. They sound fine at 0:48 when there's more of a soundscape behind them.

0:19 - Love these splashy hats! Really nice work on those, subtle panning and overall sound is great. I like the fading out into tambourine too, and the triangle panned to the right. Also: woodblock? George Michael Bluth would be proud. Great percussion work throughout, you could maybe afford a splash cymbal in there just to emphasise the odd new bar here and there. If I was being picky

No complaints until 1:17 really. Great synth choices, excellent variation and atmosphere.

1:17 - there seems to be a problem with a slight hiss. Same again (but more obvious) at 2:15. Not sure why that's happening, must be something to do with your bass track. Are you using samples or a synth? Try and get rid of it if you can - it's pretty minor, but I've noticed it so I'm sure the judges would too.

2:00 - Nice breakdown section with the laughter sample and the ominous synths. Again I'm being picky but given that you've done such a good job of building tension and creating an atmosphere throughout the song, I'd perhaps like to hear a bit more of a play on the melody here and a more obvious build up to the end of the song. As it is, we get a breakdown before building to the same level the song was at before. There's no way to distinguish it as definitely the end of the song, or the "final chorus" if you like. Try sticking in an octave change or some countermelodies, or some 1/16th staccato soloing using those stabs.

2:07 - Again I think you've over-EQ'd your bass. Same advice as with the kick - keep all frequencies, just boost the low end and reduce the mid.

2:15 - Hmm still not sure about that hiss... is it intentional? Sounds strange if it is... just have some hats on low velocity/volume instead to make it sound more natural.

2:47 - I do like the end, but that final chorus needs work as it is, and as such the end might need to change.

A final overall mixing suggestion - I understand the need for dynamics in a piece like this that's quite atmospheric, but even in its loudest parts it's really quiet compared to most other music I have. Don't worry too much about this - I think you'll find that once you EQ your kick and bass a little better (and don't forget to cut off the low end of everything else) you'll be able to turn up the volume on the master track without any clipping. If you're having trouble, consider a compressor on the master track (although that can be inadvisable as it can "flatten out" the dynamics of a song, and a well-mixed track theoretically shouldn't need one).

So yeah, I said I'd be picky, and please don't take anything too harshly - I genuinely like this and have listened to it 12 times over the course of this without getting bored. I see you've been working on this for 3 months, just a little longer and you'll have a remix to be proud of, and maybe even posted

[The Derrit]

so basic stuff

you need percussion that exists, i.e. isn't just a hiss and a tink

everything is very echoey and it doesn't add to the song that it's like that

and several of the instruments need fixing before this song will get looked at, notably, the harpsichord and piano-sounding ones

but i do like that its paper mario

[Anorax]

Nice mix.

I have to agree with The Derrit about the percussion. And the echo.

I think that part of the percussion issue is the deep reverb. But you do need to add a deeper percussion i.e. mixing it up, changing drums, layering drums. Just anything to give the rhythm a deeper, fuller pulse.

Also, the reverb needs to be reduced a bit on some instruments. Sorry.

Like the Chomp and the barks here and there.

I like the mix. Keep it up!

[Altermentality]

Whoa, thank you guys so much for all the feedback (and the faith)! I was really happy when I came home and saw all this today, and am particularly awed that my floundering around with a music program could produce something that someone would listen to 12 times straight without complaint. I've spent quite a while trying to build off of your suggestions.

Here are the major changes I made. That I can remember.

*I followed all of DarkSim's suggestions (hopefully well). By the way, the hiss was just part of that synth, X-Pander on the Kore Player, a variable called "noise". I turned it down so it should be better.

*I got rid of most of the reverb and flanging. This should take care of the echo business.

*Percussion... well, you'll hear it. With my improvements I doubtless also added a whole host of problems that need to be fixed. However, I do think the piece sounds more exciting and "bossy" now. (Like a boss?) Please tell me how to care for my wild new percussion children, I really don't know.

*Got rid of the "tiny blip" (the first synth heard in the piece) for most of the song, as after it serves it purpose, it really gets in the way of hearing cooler stuff.

*Added octave changes, an extension of the X-pander synth, and subtle sixteenth-note runs in the Chinese Banjo near the end of the song to make it more interesting.

*Replaced the lo-fi piano/trance thing combo with something subtler.

*Changed that kick, the bane of my existence. I think it finally sounds right now. Then again, I could just be brainwashed from listening to this for hours straight.

*Turned up the master volume a bit. Tell me if it still seems too quiet.

Whew! Here we go. Tell me what I still need to fix, please! You guys are helping me learn. Some day I'll be able to recognize this stuff on my own.

http://tindeck.com/listen/xiss

[Altermentality]

Tom is more audible now, EQ adjustments. Snare was frustrating the heck out of me and I didn't like it so I left it out in favor of the rides, which I think sound appropriate for the song anyway. Is a snare necessary? I don't think so in this song, but tell me if you think it could benefit.

http://tindeck.com/listen/uqpt

I'm starting to get to the point where I don't want to hear this song ever again ^^; So I'm just going to let sleeping Chomps lie for a while and hope for some feedback.

[MC Ardle]

This is great. I had completely forgotten about this song, so I looked up the original song, and decided that this version is much better.

- It would sound really good if you could say something in Egyptian, such as "تأتي الحيوانات الأليفة بلدي. أدخل وعضة الدخيل.", which literally translates to "Come, my pet. Enter and bite the intruder." To hear what it sounds like, just copy and paste it into here: http://www.acapela-group.com/text-to-speech-interactive-demo.html

- I like the Chain Chomps sounds throughout the song, and those synth voices that appear around a third of the way through the song. They really give it that Paper Mario feel.

- After the evil laugh, the synth that starts soon after feels a little out of place. Maybe you could start it off being hollow sounding, and become gradually less hollow, like a lot of synth songs do.

I'm glad that you've made a Paper Mario song. I really hope that this gets accepted.