Fernito Posted November 6, 2010 Share Posted November 6, 2010 Hey there! Well, as most of my previous works, this is more like a cover than a remix. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it http://soundcloud.com/fernito/kirby-grape-garden-cover-2nd-version Comments are welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spakku Posted November 6, 2010 Share Posted November 6, 2010 You should write an ending. Repeat & fade is lame. Quite pretty, though. It conveys the tone way better than the original. Which is surprisingly rare. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fernito Posted November 6, 2010 Author Share Posted November 6, 2010 I guess you're right. Maybe tomorrow I'll think of an ending, as now I'm very tired because I've been working on this all the afternoon (it's past 2:00 AM here D:). Thanks for commenting! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cortjezter Posted November 6, 2010 Share Posted November 6, 2010 i love it... reminds me a lot of the orchestrated Gusty Garden from mario galaxy, and that's a good thing. i too think there could be a better payoff for the ending... it's sort of like a harvest cycle, given the garden analogy. you plant the seeds at the beginning, and we experience the growth over about a minute and a half. a plump, juicy grape harvesting ending is just what this track needs i keep playing this one over and over! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Csyzr Posted November 6, 2010 Share Posted November 6, 2010 first thing to mind is a woman, perhaps a princess prancing in an open field, then for some reason fading into the center of a maze. i then laughed my ass off at my own joke because these lyrics fit both the song and the aforementioned scenery. from 1:17 - 1:34 lyrics: I just-got laid, i just-got laid, i want to tell the whole world--that, I just-got laid, i just-got laid, I want-to-tell the world. fit the lyrics into the music and you'll see what I mean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spakku Posted November 6, 2010 Share Posted November 6, 2010 first thing to mind is a woman, perhaps a princess prancing in an open field, then for some reason fading into the center of a maze.i then laughed my ass off at my own joke because these lyrics fit both the song and the aforementioned scenery. from 1:17 - 1:34 lyrics: I just-got laid, i just-got laid, i want to tell the whole world--that, I just-got laid, i just-got laid, I want-to-tell the world. fit the lyrics into the music and you'll see what I mean. I met this fel-low, he was quite at-tract-ive, we flirt-ed to-ge-ther and con-sumed al-co-hol and af-ter a whi-le we went back to his place and took off all our clothes and then is when it-got-magical! We need two more verses. Apologies, Fern, for ruining your pretty song. But I could not resist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PROTO·DOME Posted November 6, 2010 Share Posted November 6, 2010 Sorry again Fern, but this is just too funny to let the lyrics go unfinished. As the third verse fades out, I don't think it particually needs lyrics. Perhaps just a "dah, dah, doo, yeah" bit. I just-got laid, I just-got laid, I want to tell the whole world -- that, I just-got laid, I just-got laid, I want-to-tell the world. I met this fel-low, he was quite at-tract-ive, we flirt-ed to-ge-ther and con-sumed al-co-hol and af-ter a whi-le we went back to his place and took off all our clothes and then is when it-got-magical! I just-got laid, I just-got laid, I want to tell the whole world -- that, I just-got laid, I just-got laid, I want-to-tell the world. (We) pulled an all nigh-ter and as it got ligh-ter I turned to the man next to me (just who was this guy) and to my hor-ror "this guy" was my bro-ther, what would I tell mo-ther? Per-haps her son is-a-good-kisser? The “We” is on the upbeat to the second verse, but this works. (How many people have sat there trying to sing along now? Haha) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fernito Posted November 6, 2010 Author Share Posted November 6, 2010 LOLOLOLOLOL Stop ruining my song!!! hahaha guys, some of you have experience recording vocals? I'm really curious about how would it sound with these lyrics on it xD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fernito Posted November 6, 2010 Author Share Posted November 6, 2010 UPDATE: OK, I added some details and made a 'proper' ending for the song, not so great, but it works. Just updated the link in the first post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cortjezter Posted November 6, 2010 Share Posted November 6, 2010 i like where the ending is going, even if you don't think it's so hot. the little bit of melody from 1.40-1.45 is really interesting and i want to hear more of it! as for the fading strings, i like it, but part of me wants to hear a few string plucks (like grapes from the vine) __ -- ^ for a more discrete ending. really love it overall... can't (re)play it enough! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spakku Posted November 6, 2010 Share Posted November 6, 2010 LOLOLOLOLOL Stop ruining my song!!! hahaha guys, some of you have experience recording vocals? I'm really curious about how would it sound with these lyrics on it xD Pretty sure we're all guys that have been writing lyrics. You want we should do it falsetto? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonectric Posted November 6, 2010 Share Posted November 6, 2010 hahaha guys, some of you have experience recording vocals? I'm really curious about how would it sound with these lyrics on it xD Pretty sure we're all guys that have been writing lyrics. A gay orgy remix? At least the title won't have to change. (oh snap) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fernito Posted November 6, 2010 Author Share Posted November 6, 2010 Needs more dynamics. A more compelling buildup. Either way, it's got a nice sound. You got sort of a noob in musical terminology here, specially when talking in english What do you mean with a "more compelling buildup"? as for the fading strings, i like it, but part of me wants to hear a few string plucks (like grapes from the vine) __ -- ^ for a more discrete ending. Actually, there's a marimba making some notes in the background in that part. Maybe they are too soft? Anyway, I liked the idea of adding some pizzicatos there. Pretty sure we're all guys that have been writing lyrics. You want we should do it falsetto? Absolutelly! xD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fernito Posted November 7, 2010 Author Share Posted November 7, 2010 I just meant that perhaps a more progressive approach in which the various parts built towards a grander climax (particularly changes is volume dynamics) would be interesting. It's your piece bro, that's just what I thought. I see, thanks for the explanation. I don't know, I kinda like how it sounds as it is. Thanks for the recommendations anyway Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PROTO·DOME Posted November 7, 2010 Share Posted November 7, 2010 You want we should do it falsetto? I think all contributers to the lyrics should record themselves in various voices then multitrack it. I'm not kidding, do this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spakku Posted November 7, 2010 Share Posted November 7, 2010 I think all contributers to the lyrics should record themselves in various voices then multitrack it. I'm not kidding, do this. You first. Then maybe I'll have the courage. Because if I record this thing my neighbors are going to be hearing it. Also I need to hunt down a microphone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RDX Posted November 7, 2010 Share Posted November 7, 2010 call me crazy but i like the original ending better (i would totally sing with y'all but my mic is awful. so mr. spakku will have to muster the cajones to perfect this work of art). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonectric Posted November 7, 2010 Share Posted November 7, 2010 I think all contributers to the lyrics should record themselves in various voices then multitrack it. I'm not kidding, do this. As long as one of those voices is Julie Andrews. In the hills. I can't stop imagining her singing this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spakku Posted November 7, 2010 Share Posted November 7, 2010 call me crazy but i like the original ending better(i would totally sing with y'all but my mic is awful. so mr. spakku will have to muster the cajones to perfect this work of art). Dude, I've got the microphone from my PS2 copy of Rock Band. My music editing software is Audacity. But I'm gonna sing this and, dammit, I'm gonna give it my all. Oh, and to answer your question, Fern, I have zero experience. Anyways, I'm not recording for a couple days at least, gotta do it when nobody's around, but before then we've gotta get these lyrics down. I'm thinking we should probably alter the third iteration of the chorus, lest this take on a far darker tone, and now that there's an ending we probably want words to go with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PROTO·DOME Posted November 7, 2010 Share Posted November 7, 2010 Someone come up with more lyrics already then so we can get on with this! I'll record the lyrics whenever I'm bored, perhaps tomorrow? This is far too hilarious. Oh, as for actual criticism of this song, I like the new ending, keep it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spakku Posted November 7, 2010 Share Posted November 7, 2010 Third chorus: (I) love my brother, Physically; Screw conventions of soci'ty! I just got laid, I just got laid, I want to tell the world! Darkness fully embraced. Still needs an ending. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fernito Posted November 8, 2010 Author Share Posted November 8, 2010 Are you guys working on the lyrics? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PROTO·DOME Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 Third chorus: (I) love my brother, Physically; Screw conventions of soci'ty! I just got laid, I just got laid, I want to tell the world! Darkness fully embraced. Still needs an ending. Heh, like it. Yeah, I guess we'll start working when we get the last verse. Sweet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spakku Posted November 14, 2010 Share Posted November 14, 2010 Fuck it. Ending's too short for lyrics. Get to work, Proto. As shall I. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSneak Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 I'm really enjoying the whimsical woodwinds. The whole thing has a fairy-tale vibe and it's a delight to listen to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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