*NO* Seiken Densetsu 3 'Ironlung'

[DragonAvenger]

So... another submission.==

Title: Ironlung

Your ReMixer name: Brandon Strader

Your real name: Brandon E. Strader

Your email address: oinkness@gmail.com

Your website: http://brandon.rainwound.com/

Your userid: 3123

Name of game(s) arranged: Seiken Densetsu 3

Name of individual song(s) arranged: Oh I'm A Flamelet

PROJECT TRACK -- Seiken Densetsu 3: The Album, by Rozovian

Link to the original soundtrack:

Source breakdown:

0:00 - 0:45 Orchestrated version of source with augmentations 0:00 on that youtube

0:45 - 1:18 Original fade / build up based on source (the rhythm for the latter half is under the source bit later on)

1:19 - 1:41 Source verse 0:00 on that youtube

1:42 - 2:04 Source chorus 0:21 on that youtube

2:05 - 2:26 Source verse but with more improv'd guitar solo

2:27 - 2:48 Source chorus

2:49 - 2:54 Source tiny build up at 1:12 on that youtube

2:55 - 3:40 Source ending rock at 1:16 on that youtube

3:41 - END Original song is dying part

This is another one of those songs I revised a bajillion times. The original version was minor key -- believe it! The leads were played with a recorder instead of guitar. Rozovian cried about how it didn't have enough link to the source, so I eventually remade the song in a major key which is what you're listening to now. Then Rozovian cried again like the baby she is, and said that this major key version didn't have enough link to the source. Well as you can see from the source breakdown, it does. Well over 50% I would say. The inspiration for this song was old prog rock, complete with B4 organ, funky bass, and nice guitar solos. Rozovian raised quite a stink over my 70s synth lead because it didn't sound "real". For the record, the QLSO, Superior 2 drums, Halion xylophone, and the B4 organ are also fake. Goofy Rozovian! *shakes fist*

I fought long and hard to keep that 70s synth lead, and I think Rozovian realized in the end that the inclusion of the awesome 70s lead is out of his control. I am very happy with the 70s synth lead, and I hope you like it too. Rhapsody of Fire totally used the same synth in the keyboard solo for Sea of Fate from their new CD. Well, new at the time of writing this, but probably 2 or 3 albums ago by the time this gets paneled. Cheers!

Note: The tongue in cheek jabs at Rozovian and other stuff is all in fun. Please don't take it seriously.

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[OceansAndrew]

Orchestral balance was a little weird at first, with the melody being drowned out by the strings, and then once the rock came in, the melody was soo altered in almost every iteration that It didn't feel the same at all. by linking out the source, it kindof makes sense, but even as is, it's more like an original track with some vague references to the source, rather than a ReMix.

Production is decent, though the sequencing on the orchestral bits was pretty mechanical. The rest was decent, but it definitely needs a more dominant use of the source.

No, please resubmit

[DragonAvenger]

Andrew's pretty much got this covered. I can hear the references to the source, but because it is so heavily altered, it would be tough for me to make a connection if I had heard this without knowing what it was from. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to do some heavy alteration, but I think it is just too often here, and that's where you lose your audience. Consider revamping some of the parts to be closer to the original to really make the connection more solid.

Production is not bad, but the mechanical feel of the opening makes this track feel a little too stiff, and as Andrew again said, the balance is little off where the melody is being overpowered.

NO (resubmit)

[DarkeSword]

mix updated, please revote

[DragonAvenger]

Alrighty, listening to the new and improved version. Right off I wish you had looked at the mechanical feel of the opening in the xylophone. Once the strings come in they are pretty overpowering compared to everything else. Overall it feels like the balance of the lead vs. the background is still a little off, and I would have like to see that addressed before this is accepted. Along with that, at times it feels like at times the soundscape is a little cramped, possibly from a lot of instruments in the same frequency range, which contributes to the balance.

There is a huge improvement in the arrangement side of things, and I found it much easier to recognize the source. I think you are set in terms of arrangement, but the production still needs some work.

NO (resubmit)

[OceansAndrew]

A definite upgrade in terms of arrangement and dominant source, and the balance overall was improved. The strings were still a bit up there, but the levels were close enough that it's a matter of taste at this point.

the wah guitar was kindof ugly, but everything else worked out for me. Nice resub.

Yes

[Palpable]

I like the ideas presented here, even the 70's synth stuff that Rozovian wants to kill you over. It's a little weird transitioning between the opening orchestral stuff and the rock section, and that transition section was the weakest in the song, but it didn't sound like two songs glued together, so kudos. Source was present most everywhere in the latest version, no issue there. I thought the song was too loose, and I didn't dig what the organ and wah-wah guitar were doing most of the song. I like having those instruments in the song, but the parts they are playing are really active but still... dull. The choppy organ thing takes a lot of focus to listen to, you either need to cram that more in the background or simplify the part. In contrast, when the organ started playing block chords later in the song, I thought it worked much better.

Close call, but I think the looseness combined with the balancing makes this one weaker than it oughta be. I think it'll take one more version before I would pass this.

NO (resubmit)

[DarkeSword]

I think Vinnie's right on with talking about the "looseness." It's distracting.

Orchestral opening is weak, but when it goes rock, it's pretty good. Wah is a little weird, but otherwise some good guitar and drums stuff.

YES

[zircon]

Orchestral stuff is pretty basic and thin-sounding (too much high-end), and the xylo is pretty mechanical. The drums, organ and wah guitar come in and sound pretty out of place. Not very cohesive, though as the mix goes on I get that it's supposed to be sort of a rock mix. The playing isn't very tight overall and it just sounds like it's not geling very well. There's a distinct lack of energy, with the whole mix basically being carried by the lead guitar, which has a pretty plain and unwavering tone. I actually liked the idea of the synth lead when it showed up, as I thought it added interest. Still, it was pretty thin and the vibrato was a little overdone.

This mix to me just doesn't have a lot of dynamics or energy. It's plodding and it doesn't really go anywhere. The arrangement is OK, and certainly passable, but just wasn't that interesting overall. Lots of noodling, not many creative variations or original sections to speak of. Not a bad mix overall but too lackluster to pass, IMO.

NO

[Vig]

If I were to try to capture the overarching problem with this track I'd say the composition is clunky. The xylophone, the strings, especially the organ...just about every part has moments of extreme awkwardness. The section around 1:00 when the organ is playing with the guitar...it's just so sloppy. There's really no other way to put it.

On the plus side, it gets better as it goes on. The last third is pretty good.

NO

[CHz]

Nothing much to add here, but I'm in agreement with the nays. Nothing really locks until halfway through. The arrangement besides that is alright, could be more creative and varied as zircon said but it's passable. Orch production in the intro is also not great. I was digging the slow shred approach, but there are some big issues to clean up.

NO