Cyril the Wolf Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 Premiered this on my radio-show back on Tuesday. Its back with a vengeance! My arrangement - http://cyril.arnoldascher.com/covers/moonsongwip1.mp3 Original Source - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONSUW8yzV0w My lyrics - http://cyril.arnoldascher.com/moonsong.txt Keep in mind: (updated 10/10/12) This is all like, 100+ hours of time put in. I may do some little tweaks before subbing it to the good ol' OCR (and my YT) but right now... Idk I think its the best that I can do at this point in my musical career tbh UPDATE: 7/17/11 --> SC: http://soundcloud.com/cyrilthewolf/moonlight-wip DL: http://cyril.arnoldascher.com/covers/moonsongwip2.mp3 UPDATE: 06/07/12 --? SC: http://soundcloud.com/cyrilthewolf/moonlight-wip update: 6/9/12 --> DL only: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4968788/moonsongmaster2.mp3 update 10/10/12 --> DL only: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4968788/moonlightfinal4.mp3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nonamer Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 Great song. I have only heard of Cave Story a month ago, so I'm trying to discover what the big deal is. The vocalist (whether it was you or someone else idk) has a good voice and sang well, for the most part. But I have a few thoughts concerning how it affects the whole song. First, they aren't prominent enough on some of the more softer sections. If you want vocals at all, make sure they can be heard loud and/or clear. Maybe boost the volume or reduce the background music to help that. Second, the vocalist seem very strained at hitting certain notes, which at some moments degrades the song. I could understand the heavy atmosphere of the song, but that needs some work. Third, there is nothing wrong with the lyrics. Hell, I can get around the nonsensical vocals from Anosou's Armored Core album, and have caught myself singing the lyrics. However, make sure you/the vocalist sing them clearly, because I sometimes can't tell what you are saying. Hope that helps. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyril the Wolf Posted May 8, 2011 Author Share Posted May 8, 2011 Great song. I have only heard of Cave Story a month ago, so I'm trying to discover what the big deal is. The vocalist (whether it was you or someone else idk) has a good voice and sang well, for the most part. But I have a few thoughts concerning how it affects the whole song. First, they aren't prominent enough on some of the more softer sections. If you want vocals at all, make sure they can be heard loud and/or clear. Maybe boost the volume or reduce the background music to help that. Second, the vocalist seem very strained at hitting certain notes, which at some moments degrades the song. I could understand the heavy atmosphere of the song, but that needs some work. Third, there is nothing wrong with the lyrics. Hell, I can get around the nonsensical vocals from Anosou's Armored Core album, and have caught myself singing the lyrics. However, make sure you/the vocalist sing them clearly, because I sometimes can't tell what you are saying. Hope that helps. Good luck. it does. Yea, its me, but the vocals were also done really fastly, so I will definitely improve on these thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eilios Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 I love the dynamics on this. The lyrics are nice, and the instrumentation is fantastic. The vocals are overpowered at times. Overall, I can't wait for a later version. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyril the Wolf Posted July 18, 2011 Author Share Posted July 18, 2011 WIP UPDATE! Download link (for those that hate soundcloud) in the first post! http://soundcloud.com/cyrilthewolf/moonlight-wip ---> Production may be a little low-mid heavy at the moment, this isn't mastered other than a limiter on the output so that you don't have to crank yer speakers just to listen to it. ---> the vocals that aren't Escariot's are not final by any stretch of the imagination Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psychol0gist Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 I don't think you don't need to overpower it with much more bass as it might throw out the balance. Got anyone to do the main vocals yet? Or you still deciding? Might be overdoing the vocal effects at some points but otherwise it sounds good... Keep it up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozovian Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 Cringe-y temp vocals, but as long as they're only temp that's fine. Good arrangement overall, it'd be an awesome track if you can manage a strong rock voice. The glides in the intro should occur earlier so they're at the right note on the beat. I'd also reverse a bit of the group vox writing, putting another "moonlight" instead of "strengthen me" and using "strengthen me" as the last line of the group vox part. It's better to write lyrics that fit the rhythm of the track than just the melody. You still sometimes try to follow the melody a bit too slavishly, leading to some weird stresses in some words and phrases. The group vox works ok but there's parts in the rest where the stress falls on the wrong syllable or the wrong word, making it just... weird. ("in protest from" probably being the worst offender) An instrumental version of this would work fine, methinks, so you just gotta do the vocal stuff right and you've got a pretty solid piece here. Keep it up, man, your voice stuff is getting bolder and better with every track. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eino Keskitalo Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Really fresh direction to take this track, that's always a joy to hear. Vocals need work, but that's pretty much covered. The timing on the rhythm guitar feels a little off at the beginning of the second verse, it's a little uncomfortable. Also as a possible fun addition, the bass could become more active during the outro fade rock-out, it sounds like there'd be room for it and it'd be quite natural. Good luck with the track, it's very promising! --Eino Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psychol0gist Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 I've got a direction to keep your intentions with the lyrics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyril the Wolf Posted June 7, 2012 Author Share Posted June 7, 2012 Have an update to something old. I think its like pretty much done... I wanna tweak before subbing to the joojs though. Switching to mod review <3 http://soundcloud.com/cyrilthewolf/moonlight-wip Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delicious Heart Lyrics Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 It's always a joy for me to hear a lyrical track. Beautiful lyrics! When will you submit this on ocremix? For some time, I was searching some fan remixes about Cave Story and I find this one, a vocal remix also, then maybe you will appreciate it. "Rocks, Robots and Love" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyril the Wolf Posted June 9, 2012 Author Share Posted June 9, 2012 http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4968788/moonsongmaster2.mp3 update. It's better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gario Posted June 9, 2012 Share Posted June 9, 2012 MOD REVIEW Dunno if it's ponies or whatnot, but you really have an improved sound to your remixing, as of late. I'mma liking this one quite a bit. Just a note about the singing - while it's a neat tone (sounds a little like Symphony X when they're singing a more pure tone, to me), and the raw, non-autotuned sound is refreshing to hear (not that you ever autotuned, I'm just sayin' overall), you have a tendency to sing a hint flat over time (and every once in a while, really flat, like the attack at 1:08 ). It's not enough to make the song hard to listen to, but it's enough to color the entire track just a little droopy. Don't worry about it as much, here, but for future tracks keep that in mind and brighten your sound up, maybe even sing a hint sharp for you, it'll make a big impact on your music. The synth work is excellent, and the guitar playing is effective. I would've liked a more distinct tone to the rhythm guitar guitar, though (the rhythm sounds a little like guitar soup, as it stands). If at all possible, give the rhythm guitar a more distinct tone, or accent the rhythm better in the performance. I can understand that you don't want to re-record any guitar work for this track, so if not for this track, then I'd like to see that for the next track, at the very least. The arrangement is pretty neat, but with that fade-out ending it sounds... incomplete. Sometimes a F/O works, and sometimes it doesn't, and this is one of those cases where closing off the song would've been far more effective. Find a way to close this track off better, I suspect the judges wouldn't be too impressed with this ending. Other than that, this is a sexy beast. Fix that ending in particular and maybe the guitar tone for this one and I could see a front page track, on your hands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyril the Wolf Posted June 10, 2012 Author Share Posted June 10, 2012 Argh Gario, you just had to pick the part that will be the MOST difficult for me to fix. Seriously. AkNOIN(*#GN(Gn XD Otherwise, :) :) I have 3 weeks before I can sub this bad boy anyway so... TIMMMMMEEEE is on my side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eino Keskitalo Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Much improved if I recall correctly. Vocals much better. crits: Not sure if it's the headphones, but I can't seem to hear any bass (guitar) in the mix. Beginning, when things come in, there's lack of definition. The very start, it just seem to fade in very suddenly. I think it'd be better if it started with a bit of silence and you could hear the first note. Similarly, guitars and vocals coming in 00:16-00:17, especially the vocal entrance sounds kind of rushed. It's important to start with clarity and confidence, especially since the vocals do sound clear and confident mostly otherwise! The beginning of the 1:08 verse with rockier vocals is a little off-tune, and again makes for a sloppy start for an otherwise all right singing. The first high screamed "memories consumed" is also slightly off, though I don't actually mind that bit, for me it just adds a little of the appropriate emotion to it. I wasn't sold on a portion of the guitar solo, 02:57-03:05, it feels a little off-time, off-tune, exposed/dry. The previous bit and the end were fine. Could be played tighter, the sound could perhaps be a little beefier, or the mixing in that spot could support it a little more. 03:22 - the vocal again has a weak start, while by the end it sounds very good with the end of the scream. NO PUSSYFOOTING! When I sing, I have trouble with starts of song, starts of verses etc. I try to feel like I'm already "inside" the song and already singing, even if I'm actually not. That helps for me. Not sure if that makes sense.. When recording, you can even figure out a "lead in" that you start singing before the part actually starts to get your voice ready, and then cut it off after recording. Not sure though if any real singer or producer - me being neither - would recommend such a technique! 04:04 - I'd suggest putting the falsetto vocals to the background and bringing the lead guitar to the front at this point, to change things up a bit. We've already been hit with several volleys of vocals in succession. Let's hear that getaaarrrr. The fade-out is a bit fast or sudden. Big list of crits, but this is a great arrangement with really effective lyrics.. it deserves a bit of more polish on the execution side, to be awesome. The treatment of the source is both natural and unexpected! --Eino Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyril the Wolf Posted June 16, 2012 Author Share Posted June 16, 2012 Much improved if I recall correctly. Vocals much better.crits: Not sure if it's the headphones, but I can't seem to hear any bass (guitar) in the mix. Beginning, when things come in, there's lack of definition. The very start, it just seem to fade in very suddenly. I think it'd be better if it started with a bit of silence and you could hear the first note. Similarly, guitars and vocals coming in 00:16-00:17, especially the vocal entrance sounds kind of rushed. It's important to start with clarity and confidence, especially since the vocals do sound clear and confident mostly otherwise! The beginning of the 1:08 verse with rockier vocals is a little off-tune, and again makes for a sloppy start for an otherwise all right singing. The first high screamed "memories consumed" is also slightly off, though I don't actually mind that bit, for me it just adds a little of the appropriate emotion to it. I wasn't sold on a portion of the guitar solo, 02:57-03:05, it feels a little off-time, off-tune, exposed/dry. The previous bit and the end were fine. Could be played tighter, the sound could perhaps be a little beefier, or the mixing in that spot could support it a little more. 03:22 - the vocal again has a weak start, while by the end it sounds very good with the end of the scream. NO PUSSYFOOTING! When I sing, I have trouble with starts of song, starts of verses etc. I try to feel like I'm already "inside" the song and already singing, even if I'm actually not. That helps for me. Not sure if that makes sense.. When recording, you can even figure out a "lead in" that you start singing before the part actually starts to get your voice ready, and then cut it off after recording. Not sure though if any real singer or producer - me being neither - would recommend such a technique! 04:04 - I'd suggest putting the falsetto vocals to the background and bringing the lead guitar to the front at this point, to change things up a bit. We've already been hit with several volleys of vocals in succession. Let's hear that getaaarrrr. The fade-out is a bit fast or sudden. Big list of crits, but this is a great arrangement with really effective lyrics.. it deserves a bit of more polish on the execution side, to be awesome. The treatment of the source is both natural and unexpected! --Eino There is no bass guitar! its just a bass synth for this song. I'll consider the other crits, but oh man I don't think I wanna re-record everything, though I may try the guitar solo a little better. Though I may have to re-record like... stuff to get that ending right. ARGH. XD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anorax Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 Though I may have to re-record like... stuff to get that ending right. ARGH. XD don't you mean record an actual ending instead of a fade-out? No, I really like this track, but I don't think I'll be able to crit right now because I'm a bit tired. You've really improved Connie Cyril. I blame ponies XD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eino Keskitalo Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 The headphones last time have to have been really shitty, because I can hear the bass just good with these shitty headphones. I can hear it's really subtle in the sense that it's just there to provide the bass end.. it works, since it leaves room for the rest of the mix. I play bass so I'm just a fan of big bass guitar.. I still feel the comment I made way back, that the bass could pick up during the outro stands. And maybe during the guitar solo a bit, too. oh man I don't think I wanna re-record everything I know the feeling.. If you're not up for re-recording now, you can use that feedback to improve in the future. Frankly, listening to the piece now, the somewhat weak starts don't really bother me. Getting them better will improve the impression you give, it's like a small thing that's worth working on at this point, but the singing here is in a pretty good level already. One more thing that I thought this time around was the beginning.. it could have some sort of ambience, the whole thing starts really dry (and contributes to the "sudden" feeling I commented last time). Some sort of reverbated sound effect thing starting the whole thing with the melody/bass coming (quickly) in might help with this. Overall I keep enjoying this mix quite a bit! edit: One thing that you have in the vocals is that they do start out a little mellower and grow from there --- this is a *very* good thing and I'm certainly not criticising that! It's a thing that gives a good emotional weight and musical development to the singing and lyrics. This way outweights what technical shortcomings I can hear there. Good stuff, don't take me wrong! --Eino Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyril the Wolf Posted October 9, 2012 Author Share Posted October 9, 2012 http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4968788/moonlightfinal4.mp3 What I really think I need to do with this is give a bit more reverb/delay to the guitar solo. Outside of that, I think this is PRETTY MUCH DONE. Tried to clean things up as much as possible, I just don't have the time nowadays to re-record things 50000 times. I also may record some bass guitar during the guitar solo or outro idk. (You're also talking to a bass guitarist Eino haha) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyril the Wolf Posted October 9, 2012 Author Share Posted October 9, 2012 https://dl.dropbox.com/u/4968788/moonlightfinal6.mp3 lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anorax Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 https://dl.dropbox.com/u/4968788/moonlightfinal6.mp3 lol Cyril's on a roll here- in one day he went from version 4 to version 6! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eino Keskitalo Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 Link's dead. Ganon rejoices. --Eino Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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