Dasgust Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Red/Blue Rescue Team - Run Away (Remix) Something that was already "finished" but I decided to continue tweaking it. Thank you for your possible feedback. Remix v4.4 (Final) http://www.box.net/shared/i76rpziv5y Remix v4: http://tindeck.com/listen/obio Remix v3: http://tindeck.com/listen/weed (Yes, weed. ) Remix v2: http://tindeck.com/listen/lphv Remix v1: http://tindeck.com/listen/tzgo Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51IYbIU18cc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkSim Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 This song sounds SO FAMILIAR! Sounds a bit like http://ocremix.org/remix/OCR02117/ - although it's a pretty common chord progression, so it could be something else. So yeah the remix... I actually find it very pleasant, and as a whole it comes together very nicely. There's just something about it I can't place that I think is holding it back. I think overall it needs "something more" to pass the bar at OCR. The synths could be a little more complex to give them more depth, and the bass and drums could be tweaked to be a lot more interesting. There are a lot of extra touches you could add to this to really bring it up a notch. It's pleasing as it is, but it's not standing out for me just yet. Nevertheless, it's a solid base to build on, and your mixing seems very good - all the sounds you have used gel nicely and form a clear cohesive sound, which is nice to hear. Keep going back and adding things to give it more depth and I'm sure it'll really shine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dasgust Posted June 11, 2011 Author Share Posted June 11, 2011 Thanks! I'll start working on the second version. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dasgust Posted June 12, 2011 Author Share Posted June 12, 2011 Remix v2.6: http://www.box.net/shared/i76rpziv5y Sorry for the double post, btw. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dasgust Posted June 19, 2011 Author Share Posted June 19, 2011 It's been almost a week so I'm bumping this. Also, a triple post. Sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watarimono Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 Wow. The piano is so moving! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dasgust Posted June 21, 2011 Author Share Posted June 21, 2011 Wow. The piano is so moving! Thank you. Now I'm only waiting for a Mod Review. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Sorry. I'm not a mod, but I want to give my feedback. xD 0:00 - 0:15 ~ The drums could have some more variation, rather than the same pattern 8 times (silly me, I counted). Perhaps a four measure pattern (with each measure differing slightly), and then another one with the fourth one leading into a more complicated drum beat. I like your choice of a kit though. Also, perhaps you could put something in the treble range happening in that time frame too, so that it doesn't just sound like just drums when not wearing headphones. 0:18 ~ I would have liked the chiptune in the background, introduced here, to be legato with just a hint of portamento and trills, but that's just me. 0:32 - 1:04 ~ The piano sounds great. Forgive me for saying this, but put some feeling into it. It sounds like you're just playing the notes to have a piano pattern; I'm taking a wild guess and pretending that the piano was a real recorded one. If so, then practice playing the section while listening to the remix without the piano, and see if you get a different result. 0:48 ~ It would be very interesting if you had a soothing synth in the background do a countermelody here! 1:04 - 1:35 ~ I think you might have been going for bongos here, but I'm not sure. If you hadn't, I'd suggest bongos here. Overall though, at this time, the meshing of your instrument choices is very euphonious. There aren't any strange clashes or anything like that. If there was ever a progress bar, you're probably at 85%! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dasgust Posted June 21, 2011 Author Share Posted June 21, 2011 Sorry. I'm not a mod, but I want to give my feedback. xDNo problem. Thanks a lot for your feedback!I'm taking a wild guess and pretending that the piano was a real recorded one.I have to admit that it isn't.1:04 - 1:35 ~ I think you might have been going for bongos here, but I'm not sure. If you hadn't, I'd suggest bongos here. There are already bongos. At least they're trying to sound like bongos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emunator Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Yeah, I'm gonna have to make this quick for now but I don't think this could pass the panel simply because of the piano writing. The sound is ok but the instrument really doesn't work when it's just playing notes. It sounds very mechanical... turn some of those notes into chords and see if you can sequence it in a way that's a little bit more evocative of a real performance. I think that would shoot my interest in this remix through the roof and would definitely help it stand up much better against the judges. I'll edit this with more feedback when I have the chance, but since we've been making you wait for far too long I figured I'd post the biggest preliminary critique so you could get started on fixing it, if you're still interested in submitting. This is a pretty nice remix with a lot of cool ideas flowing, so I definitely think it's workable, but it'll need a lot of effort to make it shine and give the track a bit more personality. Best of luck for the time being, and sorry for the lateness! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dasgust Posted June 21, 2011 Author Share Posted June 21, 2011 I don't think this could pass the panel simply because of the piano writing. Ouch. Thanks for the feedback! I'll start working on this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emunator Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Ouch. Thanks for the feedback! I'll start working on this. Yeah, sorry to say. I don't mean to be discouraging by any means, but you'd definitely get dinged for the piano writing and, as somewhat of a pianist myself, I could really see a lot of room for improvement here with a more dynamic piano arrangement on top of the backing track you've already made. I think it could turn out really quite awesome, in fact. Keep at it man! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dasgust Posted June 22, 2011 Author Share Posted June 22, 2011 I have uploaded v2.7 to show the piano. I will fix timaeus222's things for v3. Remix v2.7: http://www.box.net/shared/i76rpziv5y Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 I gotta say, the piano is MUCH better! Aside from what I said earlier, the only thing I would advise is to fill up your soundspace. If a section feels bare, make it rich. It's definitely enjoyable as it is, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dasgust Posted June 22, 2011 Author Share Posted June 22, 2011 I gotta say, the piano is MUCH better! Aside from what I said earlier, the only thing I would advise is to fill up your soundspace. If a section feels bare, make it rich.It's definitely enjoyable as it is, though. Thank you! I'm glad you like it. I've now uploaded the 3rd version: http://tindeck.com/listen/weed (Yes, weed. ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jules Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 I really like this! Been following along with the updates a little and while the arrangement felt kind of conservative in the beginning, it's starting to get pretty amazing. Definitely submit this once you're done getting feedback. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dasgust Posted June 25, 2011 Author Share Posted June 25, 2011 I really like this! Been following along with the updates a little and while the arrangement felt kind of conservative in the beginning, it's starting to get pretty amazing. Definitely submit this once you're done getting feedback. Thank you! And that is what I will (hopefully) do soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I'm going to try something. I'll add to this remix and PM it to you later, and I want you to look at 0:48 with headphones on and see if you like it. That's kind of what I meant by a soothing synth being added there. Sorry if it's a bit intrusive. I just want to see this be awesome, since I love PMD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dasgust Posted June 25, 2011 Author Share Posted June 25, 2011 I'm going to try something. I'll add to this remix and PM it to you later, and I want you to look at 0:48 and see if you like it. If so, then I do hope you'll do something like that! Sorry if it's a bit intrusive. I just want to see this be awesome, since I love PMD. It's okay. I'm open for suggestions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dasgust Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 It has been over 2 weeks since I requested a Mod Review so I'm bumping this again. Sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guifrog Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Catchy, fun, simple and tasty! That's what I feel about your track overall Loved how the harmony fades in following that bomby kick! I just think the kick's a bit too oomphy before everything comes in, so maybe I'd slightly turn down the levels from 40-160hz. Also like how you played with the piano lead. Turned out simple, but gummy and effective! The way it is EQ'd could be worked, though. It's kinda dissonant from the rest; seems to be loud in the mid frequencies, and there's some overcompression. If that's adjusted, things might not hide the kick much if you apply the suggestion above 1:20-onwards, is where I think the mix could use of some salt. Something that adds to what's going on already; maybe a humble original melody for that break, and a few more variations to piano part when it comes again. I think that's it... Pretty cool arrangement Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emunator Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Alright, let's see what you've done with this one since I last commented. I like the groove in the intro with the unconventional hi-hat rhythm, but watch your velocities on your hats. They start to sound a little stiff when everything's playing at the same velocity. Once the piano drops in, the writing is sounding GREATLY improved since the last effort. The sound of the piano itself is still a little funky, I'm going to 100% echo what Guifrog said here about watching your EQ and seeing if you can achieve a piano sound that's a little bit less thin and narrow that fills out the soundscape a little more without stepping on other instruments. While you're at it, a bit of humanization on the note timing/velocities so it sounds a little more like it's being performed by a person instead of being read off with perfect timing and velocities by a sequencer. I'm noticing a similar set of issues when you've got the strummed guitar in the background. The sample itself isn't the best but I think it could work if you checked your velocities/note timing and reworked it in a way that sounded more like you were actually strumming a guitar. Right now it just sounds too noticeably unrealistic and it definitely hurts the section it's featured in. Guifrog's also on point about the latter half of the mix needing a bit of extra instrumentation, something subtle to pad out the rest of the mix, when the melody starts to repeat. It's not bad at all the way it is but you could definitely fill it out a bit so the song has a more gradual dynamic curve. Let's see what you can do with this one, I really like what you've got so far! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dasgust Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 Thanks for the feedback! The remix is now finished. Wish me luck to the panel. Version 4.4 (Final): http://www.box.net/shared/i76rpziv5y Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 HUGE improvement! This just went from pretty good to epic. The only minimal issue I have left is that the synth you used might not be suitable for high notes. That's about it. =D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dasgust Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 HUGE improvement! This just went from pretty good to epic. The only minimal issue I have left is that the synth you used might not be suitable for high notes. That's about it. =D I edited the synth a bit. The remix is now submitted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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