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*NO* Max Payne 'Tragedy of a Bullet'


djpretzel
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Pretty cool, VERY unique - djp

hi djpretzel,

i figured i couldn't do a better remix in the same style as my previous submission, 'to far away memories', so i decided to try a totally different style with this one. i tried an acoustic version of this ( with the same cheap-ass guitar :) ), but didn't like the result.

though there are some sparse instrumentation, and sound effects here and there, most of the song is just my voice. it's got a bit of influence from 'radiohead', 'the black heart procession' and 'elliott smith'.

the focus of the song is on max's grief. in a game where people are killed by the hundreds, i wanted to concentrate the emotion on the consequences of just a single gunshot. hence the name, 'tragedy of a bullet.'

here's the info:

remixer name: Neil Benjamin

email: nobodygetshurt@nyc.rr.com

website: http://www.s93850634.onlinehome.us/musicIndex.html

game: Max Payne

song remixed: Max Payne Theme

remix name: Tragedy of a Bullet

link:

take care,

-neil benjamin

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Man I wanted to like this. I really *really* did.

The problem is, if the artist was going for that radiohead feel, they missed the mark simply by having their vocals soooo goddamn wobbly and riddled with pitch problems. If it's a stylistic choice, great. It's too distracting and/or grating to add anything to the piece, and does more than it's fare share of detracting. That, and the recording equipment is sorely lacking for this kind of in-your-face listening, where every nuance flows through the speakers.

NO

-make the voices (pitch, quality, general *Singing*) immaculate

-better equipment, if possible. If not~

-better takes

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  • 2 weeks later...

Again, I agree with the wingling here. This is a very pointed allusion to Radiohead, specifically a track off OK Computer, I can't remember which. It's a good concept, despite the cheesy opening sfx.

Tune it up, that's my main beef. The production isn't bad enough to really disqualify it alone. Also, purely as a stylistic suggestion, maybe a little more underlying instrumentation. I like the minimalism, but i'd like to hear a smoother, cleaner piano and drums that don't jar me out of the trance you've put me in by their entrance. Maybe lower the attack?

Great ideas here, let's polish em up and make a hit.

NO

-D

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Finally, FINALLY got the source material courtesy of my bro Kaleb from Secret Squirrel's game music FTP - bueno! Check out Slightly Dark for info (and downloads) for the best in rare game music. And of course Kaleb represents it every week with Song of the Week, which y'all need to check out for some of the best original and professionally arranged VGM that you haven't heard of.

Following in the footsteps of other community luminaries like EdgeCrusher & Xelebes, I got Kaleb's own thoughts and input on the mix. Thanks again for his help on tracking down the source material:

Well as far as I would grade it: I think the vocal work is quite decent on its own merits, but in regards to carrying the entire melody alone for over three minutes, it doesn't hold up quite as well. The background samples and instruments are incredibly subdued, and while that is fine for creating the atmosphere you intended, the synth is low quality, which lessens the effect. I think if you had some better samples, and maybe some more variety, it would have worked a lot better. You should rework and resubmit. I'd have to give it a NO for now.

Personally, I understood the camp of the NOs, including KG's. There are several ways in which the ideas of the mix could be tricked out further. I definitely think the production could have been cleaner bringing up the instrumentation more and clarifying the sound without sacrificing the airy quality of the vocals, but it wasn't a substantial hit against it.

The instrumentation was very basic, but frankly I didn't see it as that lacking in the context of a vocal-based minimalist mix like this. The harmonized vocals sounded pretty damn good to me, and I liked the energy there; moody, melancholy, and mysterious.

Good ideas here, starting the mix off with arrangement from the middle section of the source tune as the lengthy buildup, and then reaching the melody all the way at 2:12. Despite initial appearences, the piece was well-varied to me. Ain't nothing "wrong" with it besides being too unorthodox, even for Wing apparently. Very enjoyable already, as far as I'm concerned.

YES

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I pretty much agree with the no votes here.

Great concept, but the execution and application of the idea just feels lacking. As already mentioned by the others, there really needs more underlying support material here, and also the tuning issues.

Hope to hear you consider resubmitting as there are good ideas at play here, but for now it's too lacking for me to pass. NO

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