Jazz Jackrabbit 2 - 'Isolation' [Dark Groove] (Ambient / Western) - V3

[timaeus222]

This is my Western rendition of "Dark Groove" from Jazz Jackrabbit 2. Feel free to say stuff. This is going into my next music album and very soon my high school grad project.

Should I get rid of 1:54 - 2:14 (a meh variation) and/or 3:34 - 3:55 (a repeat)?

I might submit this in the future as an OCR if it proves worthwhile. I already submitted something else last week.

https://www.box.com/s/d60173cac93c28f0d317 - Normal

https://www.box.com/s/09cee3fb69f11f41f8e7 - Shorter version (1:54 - 2:14 and 3:34 - 3:55 taken out)

Edited June 2, 2014 by timaeus222

[WillRock]

I can tell you right off the bat that this wouldn't pass the judges due to sample issues. The synths aren't great sounding but they work well enough. The drums however lack the punch they need, the bass seems to get buried under the pads and when I can hear it, it sounds more treble heavy than it should do. The piano and guitar samples are also not exactly great either. You need better samples than that.

Based on this, i'm not sure you're at a point where you could get on OCR, you need to up your production game for that. Granted tho, you have some neat arrangement ideas (altho that piano had some rather iffy timing issues and even went dissonant at one point). Sorry i'm being so harsh, I know its hard, but you'll get there!

I'd attempt trying to layer your drum sounds, try and make that kick have more presence and give the snare a more crisp tone to it if you can. Other than that, I can't say too much more than "get better samples" because thats one of the issues thats holding you back imo. Your production isn't great, but better samples would help your music quite a bit I reckon.

If you can't do that, then focus on synth content. Your samples are mostly iffy when you're trying to emulate organic instrumentation like the piano and guitar, if that is holding back your music, then use synths because you could make much more convincing sounds that way.

[Rozovian]

...then use synths because you could make much more convincing sounds that way.

Convincing? That is so not the right word, but I agree that the supposedly real instrumentation aren't up to par, not when assuming they're supposed to sound real at least.

This whole track sounds very 90's computer game music. It's not an invalid style choice, and it's not like the original isn't like that, but when you're asking for a mod review you're asking if it'd get on ocr. The answer is no. Not because the sound design is very 90's vgm, but because the production also is.

I don't mind the fake guitars, the fairly simple synths and percussion, but I'd want it mixed to modern standards. This may require some edits to the sound design, eg adding a layer or two to the snare or widening some sounds. EQ and background/foreground separation usually helps, too.

The 2:40 chord choice doesn't quite fit (likewise its repeats). On a related note, that piano doesn't sound like it's recorded in an anechoic chamber, but it's still too short. Longer release and/or some delay/reverb might give it a little more tail.

Guitar 0:59 is too loud. Actually, it sounds really uneven. Happens not just in that part but elsewhere as well. Some compression to keep its levels under controlled might be a good idea.

As for the arrangement, length may be an issue, as might conservativeness. Repetition is the actual problem tho, not length. As for conservativeness, I'm not gonna learn the source and evaluate the remix soon enough for this review, so... idunno, might be too conservative, or just fine.

PRODUCTION

- Low-quality samples

- Unrealistic sequencing - not fooling anyone, go for fake or humanize

- Drums have no energy - they don't have to be in your face, but they do need a bit more bite than this... except hihat, which is plenty loud as is

- Mixing is muddy (eg. too many sounds in the same range) - separate your sounds

STRUCTURE

- Too repetitive - there's certainly worse out there, but at least the repeating cymbals hint at some fairly short and lazily looped drums, and not developing the groove much kind'a compounds the repetition problem

It's a nice groovy thing you've got here, but it's not ready for ocr yet.

[timaeus222]

I just want to say a few things:

@WillRock:

- The drums layered in that way was intentional; I did want that kind of a low passed sound in the snare. That gives it kind of a distant feel.

- The piano was probably from the best possible plugin out there. TruePianos is completely epic. Maybe I'm just not pulling it off as well as it could be, but the plugin has some great capabilities.

- The bass sounds treble-heavy because I was layering it with lightly distorted guitar for an extra fret slide feel.

@Rozo:

- The "samples" (more like plugins) couldn't be low quality. I'm only saying that because they all cost money. I would say otherwise and say instead that the patch choice resulted in a low quality sound.

- I think the arrangement is fine, but I agree with most other things. I'm happy though that you picked up on the 90's style that I intended, so something worked.

- I also don't like how there just has to be more than one answer to music production, but that's life I guess.

Thanks for the feedback!

[Phonetic Hero]

Oh hey, I'm remixing this one too I'd actually say that the arrangement is fairly conservative, but there is a good amount of additional flair added... idk, I'm hearing a lot of the same harmonies that are in the source. Don't be afraid to switch things up with the progression of the piece.

The piano could be improved with a little velocity work, it doesn't necessarily sound like a bad sample (it's not necessarily great either though), just not very humanized. I'd also slap a little delay on there, because delayed piano is sexy as shit.

Totally agree about the drums. It sounds cool to have them in the background for a time, but just doesn't work when things get heavier. You can always put something in with more punch, and then play with the reverb wet/dry ratio to make it pushed back/come forward farther. Also super digging the stuttering going on in a lot of places, but in spots where you have the straight "4 e & a" snare end fill, it sounds pretty odd and inhuman (it's probably not SUPER noticeable, but I'm a drummer, and things like this bother me ) cause of the sample. Try having it cut itself before the next hit, so the sound isn't bleeding together, since that wouldn't happen on a real snare drum (drum gets hit, snares and head vibrate, hit again, snares and head vibrate anew; likely with a different tone as well). This is pretty easy to do in FL if that's what you're using.

Also gonna agree with the guitars. Sampled guitar is... incredibly difficult to make work. There's just WAY too much human control over the sounds that come out of the instrument, and also too much randomness, to have a computer do it. There are a bunch of guitar players here on OCR, just find one (and advertise in the thread title, if you have to) and get em to collab with you

I had a lot more to say, but the Gario had to go and distract me with a long/hilarious thread. So that's where I take my leave and get some sleep.

Also, uh, gonna say again like I did in the originals forum, I don't think you can legally sell remix albums, even for just a buck...

Hope this all helps!

pH

[timaeus222]

Here are the things I did recently:

- Added some (more) reverb, and some delay on the piano.

- EQ'd the timbre of the piano to a brighter sound.

- Changed a few notes in the piano sequencing to make it less dissonant, as it apparently sounded (I like jazz chords).

- Balanced the mix levels some more.

- Changed guitar ampsim patches for a "closer to real" sound.

- Edited the guitar notes to make them less dissonant on the third long sustain in ~2:40 ad simile.

- Edited the guitar notes to be more synchronized with the rhythm. I guess I put the final note in fret slides on the beat rather than the first note in the fret slide on the beat, and that put it at too much of an offset.

- EQ'd out miscellaneous unnecessary frequencies (or so I believe).

- Double-tracked the guitar ampsim patch mods.

https://www.box.com/s/57ae67e543da93e0dcda - V3

Tell me if it improved enough to move on to the drums, and later I plan to ask for a collab on the guitar, so don't talk about how real it could sound, but rather, how much better it might sound now.

(Bumped once)

[Chimpazilla]

---not a mod----

The good:

Sounds are gorgeous.

Piano is sexy. No crits on that at all!

Nice ambient feel.

Doesn't seem too repetitive.

Drum sounds are pleasing.

I like it a lot!

The crits:

Song has no intro? I just... starts. Hmph.

Song has no lead at all for first full minute... needs something, at least to hint at things to come.

When lead guitar first comes in, it is a bit buried.

Snare is a tad loud.

Drums need some more writing variation and fills.

Snare fill at 0:38 sounds machine gun-ish, vary velocity low to high. Same with other snare fills. (low > high, high > low, up-down-up, etc)

Guitar has a few too-loud notes starting at 1:40ish. Tone those down for better smoothness.

Electric guitar is way too loud!!! And too dry, doesn't seem to fit well in the mix, easy fix though.

Very, very nice overall. Just a few fixes and it's good to go, if you ask me. But again, I'm

---not a mod---

[timaeus222]

---not a mod----

The good:

Sounds are gorgeous.

Piano is sexy. No crits on that at all!

Nice ambient feel.

Doesn't seem too repetitive.

Drum sounds are pleasing.

I like it a lot!

The crits:

Song has no intro? I just... starts. Hmph.

Song has no lead at all for first full minute... needs something, at least to hint at things to come.

When lead guitar first comes in, it is a bit buried.

Snare is a tad loud.

Drums need some more writing variation and fills.

Snare fill at 0:38 sounds machine gun-ish, vary velocity low to high. Same with other snare fills. (low > high, high > low, up-down-up, etc)

Guitar has a few too-loud notes starting at 1:40ish. Tone those down for better smoothness.

Electric guitar is way too loud!!! And too dry, doesn't seem to fit well in the mix, easy fix though.

Very, very nice overall. Just a few fixes and it's good to go, if you ask me. But again, I'm

---not a mod---

Well, I'm going to have to clarify some things:

Song has no intro? I just... starts. Hmph.

Well, I figured starting off soft and getting louder would be an intro. o.o

Song has no lead at all for first full minute... needs something, at least to hint at things to come.

I may do something with that then. Also, there was a lead from 0:00 to 0:38.

When lead guitar first comes in, it is a bit buried.

Really? It doesn't seem like that to me. Some mods also said earlier that it was too loud then.

Snare is a tad loud.

Drums need some more writing variation and fills.

That was planned for a later time.

Snare fill at 0:38 sounds machine gun-ish, vary velocity low to high. Same with other snare fills. (low > high, high > low, up-down-up, etc)

That's not a snare fill, that's glitch effect #3 from dBlueGlitch.

Guitar has a few too-loud notes starting at 1:40ish. Tone those down for better smoothness.

Can you be more specific? Take another listen and point out a whole range.

Electric guitar is way too loud!!! And too dry, doesn't seem to fit well in the mix, easy fix though.

It might be easier whenever I end up thinking of a person to collaborate with.

[PixelPanic]

Good:

+I like the sounds.

+The funk you have going on sounds nice.

+Maintains my interest.

+Great guitar work.

+Damn fine piano.

+Drums are cool, except...

Bad:

-The snappy percussion thing (I guess it's a snare) is very very dry and kinda distracting.

-The pitch bending notes kinda distract me. Lower them in favor of the rhythm, make it more ambient rather than a false lead (no pun intended).

-On the same note, introduce a lead earlier. I don't know where this supposed lead is at the beginning.

-Like before, make an intro. Start by introducing instruments, building from the ground up. It'll lengthen the song and make it seem fuller in comparison to the lack of said instruments in the beginning.