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*NO* SaGa Frontier 'Solitude' *RESUB*


djpretzel
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LT Edit - Original Decision: http://www.ocremix.org/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=48031

1st RESUB Decision: http://www.ocremix.org/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=64165

If this one don't make it, I don't know what else to do....

At first I wasn't going to keep working on this, but I got a couple of e-mails asking me to continue. So, here it is.

I don't really have time to point out the improvements I've made over the previous versions right now, so you'll have to see for yourselves. ; )

All I can say is, I pretty much combined all of the good elements from the previous versions to make this one.

You can find the link to this mix posted on my web page here:

http://www.angelfire.com/blues2/bluemagic/

Thanks alot,

Damon a.k.a (Cool BreeZe)

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  • 2 weeks later...

http://www.tzone.org/~llin/psf/packs2/SaGa_Frontier_psf.rar - 216 "Alone"

The backing strings are subtle but still sounded noticeably mechanical/synthy, not to mention thin. The acoustic guitar-style synth is really hit or miss here, with my opinion being miss. It's reasonably ok, but the performance needs more polish to sound somewhat more humanized. Inasmuch as I'm not expecting it to sound or function completely like a real acoustic, it's still too thin and mechanical in the performance, hurting the track because it's a focal point.

The bassline here was pretty good. An electric guitar-esque synth joined in somewhat abruptly at 1:42. Can't really say that sound worked well in the texture, as you seemed to be going for fairly organic-sounding choices for the rest of the instrumentation. That's really underscored when it comes back in at 2:23 for a duet with the piano. The sound didn't fit at all, and, even if you chose something else, the part wasn't loud enough to really "duet"/interact with the piano.

On the plus side, the piano sounded much better here, the bassline work here was understated but solid, and the percussion was fairy well executed. I thought the snappy perc stuff was a little too loud and out of place alongside the other sounds, but that was just personal taste and not a hit for the track.

If you can work out the kinks on the acoustic guitar sample and that lone, odd electrosynth, this would be on solid ground. Any further resubs should probably be after consulting some Js to make sure there are no issues that would result in a rejection. If not though Damon, this was a great effort that really showed off marked development and improvement as an artist with each version, and you should be proud of that.

NO (refine/resubmit)

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  • 4 weeks later...

For some reason, this piece never really comes together for me. There's a lack of energy here; I can't place my finger on it, but I think that it might be that there's no strong melodic hook to really draw the listener in. The arrangement really meanders and the different parts never come together to make a strong melodic statement.

The piece sounds like it's leading upto something, but it never really gets there.

I don't mind the samples so much; piano is nice, and the bassline is really well written. The acoustic guitar's sample does sound a bit thin. Overall I think the entire mix lacks warmth and energy. The lack of could be due to the kind of reverb you've used, but I'm fairly sure that the lack of energy is because of the way the different parts are interacting, or rather, not interacting. It doesn't feel like these parts are written with other parts in mind. There's a lot of embellishment without a lot to embellish.

I'm gonna say NO on this one. The arrangement is...the best word I can think of is "cautious;" it's afraid to make a strong statement. Source material like this needs that, I think.

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I have to echo Darke's sentiments here. There are some good arrangement elements in this mix, and the individual part writing as good. Unlike DS I DO think they work together, but my problem is more with the overall structure at the arrangement. Like the original, it has a sort of a build but ultimately does not resolve in a satisfying manner. The changes in texture over the course of the mix are, of course, welcome, but they are not executed in such a way that I can feel like the mix "went somewhere", if you know what I mean. Perhaps adding more elements would be a wise idea, or making changes to the rhythms, or even the tempo?

Production is basically fine by me. With some structural changes I think I would pass this.

NO

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