Liontamer Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 (edited) * Zeneshac Raiser * Zackery Banton * * https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTWqm0wrUdeiuoPclaKL6BQ * Name of game arranged : Elebits * Name of arrangement: Together with Zero * Name of individual song arranged: Elebits: Boss Theme - Zero Elebit * Elebits is a first person action/adventure game on the Wii developed and published by Konami and Produced by Shingo Mukaitoge. The album is composed by Naoyuki Sato and Michiru Yamane. (Incomplete soundtrack) * My inspiration for this song actually came from the game itself. I loved playing the game and listening to the different styles of music that the composers came up with. I love techno music so i just gave it a mellow DnB feel. I wanted to recreate the bond between the main character, Kai, and his elebit friend, Zero. -------------------------------------- Edited September 26, 2013 by Liontamer closed decision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted August 1, 2013 Author Share Posted August 1, 2013 Weird, but I've heard a lot of submissions today with needlessly exposed, fake-sounding piano. It doesn't sound "horrible" here, though there's got to be a way to thicken or delay that piano to give it a more ethereal sound that helps mask the mechanical sequencing earlier. :00-:51 needs some tightening up there, but the big offender was from 1:17-1:42, since the individual notes sound significantly worse than the chords. At least there was more going on from 1:42 onward to fill out the soundscape and obscure that lack of realism with the piano. The electric guitar sample brought in at 1:41 was barely audible, but damned if you do, damned if you don't, since it would sound fake and exposed at any higher volume. IMO, the piano pattern droned on for too long from 1:16-2:20; you could cut this down a little (e.g. at 1:54 or 2:07, since the subtle buildup has already finished) and get to the new ideas more quickly so that the piece doesn't get too repetitive. I liked the original writing ideas like the bowed strings and synth line brought in at 2:20. Those dropped out at 2:59 in favor of the breakbeats until 3:24; solid touch. Heard some light but constant distortion from 3:25-3:37 that needs to be fixed. The piano for the finish was rigid again, but didn't overstay its welcome. Production-wise, I thought the mixing lacked some clarity but was generally OK to listen to; some other Js may be able to recommend how to clean that up a little. Right now, the arrangement is far in the right direction, but several smaler issues were adding up making me hold back an enthusiastic YES. Anything that can be done to make the individual piano notes sound less stiff would be good. Getting a brighter soundscape, consider trimming that middle section, and fix the distortion towards the end. I'm hoping another judge can comment further and with more detail about the production drawbacks here. It's a very promising mix here, and I've love to see both Zackary and Elebits represented on OCR in some form. Good work so far! NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonAvenger Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 Right away I'm not liking the opening vamp. All of the note movement is parallel, which is fine in small doses, but sounds very strange with the extended use. After that I'm right in agreement with Larry on both the mechanical sequencing on the piano and the exposed sounds. I think the sample itself could be fine if it were nestled better into the track. After that we've got the fake guitar which I think could also be fine if you doubled it with something else. The added texture would boost the volume and still give you the effect you want, I think. To me I'm hearing some balance issues, which might be Larry's issue. I'd like to hear a little more bass presence, and fiddling around with your treble instruments to get the piano less exposed without burying it will be your challenge. Bringing down the drums just a touch might help as well, especially the snare. The arrangement overall does feel a bit repetitive to me, and I'd love to hear more of some slight variations to the melody and backing. I think as-is it could still pass, but those extra details would make the track stronger overall. You've got some work to do, but I think you're on the right track and have a pretty good start. Hit up the WIP forums to get some more feedback and then send this back to us! NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutritious Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 (edited) Yeah, right off that piano is sounding pretty dry and, if not really narrow, then fully mono. Some stereo separation, reverb wetness, variation on velocities and maybe some gentle eq dips in the 2khz range may help here. The beat pattern is a little basic, but it can work if there's some variation or a complimenting part to keep it from being overly repetative. Fortunately, we do get some beat glitching and additions to help here. Piano gets pretty repetative after a while, so I'd heed Larry's advice on that front. Beat drop off at 3:25 was a bit sudden. I think the transition could use some smoothing - the sudden drop can work in the context of a loud section dropping to a very quiet one (a pretty specific effect that can turn out really cool). However, here it's a loud section followed by a moderate section with some similar instrumentation, so it's in that kind of unhappy medium between calling for a smooth transition or a quick drop off. Long paragraph for a single minor point I know, but looking at details like this is a great way to improve your craft . Sounds like some distortion due to either overcompression or clipping whenever the kick lands at the same as some hits or other loud parts. The kick has is pretty thick tone, which may need to be eq'd down to make room for other parts. Parts of the song like 1:42 & 2:59 are getting really busy and crowded with several instruments trying to take center stage up front. Work on balancing things so the listener can focus on the important parts and let the supporting roles take a back seat. Good base here, but some production issues & repetition are holding this back. Keep at it NO resubmit, please Edited September 26, 2013 by Nutritious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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