DragonAvenger Posted December 21, 2013 Share Posted December 21, 2013 (edited) Greetings! I would like to submit the following track to contribute in the amazing collections of OC Remix. Contact Information Ibrahim Chakaleidos chakaleidos@live.com Ibrahim Chakaleidos http://ocremix.org/forums/member.php?u=51724 has the userid of "51724 " Submission Information Journey to Silius Rise of the machines Stage 4 Link to the original soundtrack: Composition is by most parts in original key. Some minor chords are by parts changed into major for added versatility. Strongly reverberated atmosphere is contrasted to the intimate lead sounds in order to take the listener to a long journey to a remote planet. Stage 4 theme from the game Journey to Silius. Yours, Emoji Ibrahim Edited January 22, 2014 by Palpable closed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OceansAndrew Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 This starts out pretty nice and already has a lot of personalization baked in, though I think the lead synth should have been a touch more legato early on; it does good room to expand for the b section for the hyper vibrato sound though. Not gonna lie, it felt a little comical and out of place, but I think it can have the benefit of the doubt, since i feel that the rest of the soundscape was well constructed and felt very strong. I think the energy being sacrificed for atmosphere in the middle was a fair trade, though the part that appeared afterward felt really muddy to me, and I think the low mids throughout could be cleaned up; some of the reverb trails are so prominent that they bleed on for ages, obscuring a lot of parts. I also think that the lack of bass throughout isn't as effective as it could have been. i didn't like the ending; it felt like a drop after a cut-and-paste section, and I think a little more effort to compose a nice closing to the song would be well spent. I like a lot of the ideas presented, but production polish and a more fitting ending would get this in a better place. No, please resubmit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 I didn't agree with OA about the synths being a poor fit, but didn't have a problem with his comments; ultimately, I thought the sounds clicked well enough for me. I also thought the copy-pasta of the last section was a bit anticlimatic and could have used some variation there to keep things fresh for the finish. Still, I had no problem with the dropoff ending That said... I think the energy being sacrificed for atmosphere in the middle was a fair trade, though the part that appeared afterward felt really muddy to me, and I think the low mids throughout could be cleaned up; some of the reverb trails are so prominent that they bleed on for ages, obscuring a lot of parts. I also think that the lack of bass throughout isn't as effective as it could have been.I like a lot of the ideas presented, but production polish and a more fitting ending would get this in a better place. I really enjoyed the arrangement, but this is a second case today of that part generally being on point, but the mixing ends up sounding too cluttered, and OA was right about the reverb trails obscuring other parts. The worst offenders were probably 1:44-2:13 and the full 3:10-3:48 ending. The ending section was a copy-pasta of :47-1:06's section only with MOAR PADS, so it ended up sounding even muddier for the finish. It's not approaching awful or anything like that, but it is too muddy; I could have lived with :47's mixing quality, but the finish definitely was too muddy. Arrangement-wise for the finish, I'd just say consider more substantial variation for the final section from 3:10-3:48, since it's basically just 2 copy-pastas of stuff we heard before (except 3:29 with the most minor of minor melodic variation). I felt the resolution at the finish was perfectly fine, and didn't mind the dropoff. Also of note, I thought the dropoff section from 2:13- was a pretty nice change of pace followed by the super minimal section at 2:31, which added some very nice tension and contrast before heading back into the rebuild at 3:00. Really smart writing there, Ibrahim. So yeah, cleaning up the mixing during the densest sections would help this, plus adding some more substantial variation to the final section at 3:10. You don't necessarily need to vary the melody, but changing the instrumentation could help give this a different sound to keep things interesting for the close. Really promising stuff so far. Definitely don't be discouraged if this doesn't pass, as you have a great arrangement concept here and a lot of potential. Hopefully, you'll consider touching up and resubmitting this one, and I hope we hear more from you in the future for sure. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpazilla Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 This starts out with a wonderful atmospheric feel, nice dreamy pads, distant choir. The drums sound pretty good. Then, that first lead, I'm just not a fan of it. It just feels so soft and weak when I'm expecting something that makes more of a statement. Also it is mixed in a muddy way with too much reverb, and the patch has a weird high-pitch resonance as well. Then the next lead at 0:47 is SO much louder than the previous lead, the volume contrast is jarring. This "hyper vibrato" lead (great term, OA) also has way too much reverb on it. These two sounds are used repeatedly throughout the mix. You have some good arrangement ideas, but a lot of the writing ends up being repetitive (and this is emphasized by using the same leads again and again). I do like the breakdown section at 2:30 with the deep drumming hits, although it borders on too sparse. The section at 3:10 is a direct copy of the section at 0:47 which is a copout. The dropoff ending though, I feel like that works and is fine. Overall, this mix is bleedy as all heck. I'd suggest you start by lowering your reverb on everything (especially leads) by at least 50% if not more. Then take a pass at eqing the instruments to make sure they each have space in the mix without overlapping each other too much. I'm not a fan of either of those two leads, in my opinion they sound kind of comical and silly compared with the cool ambient background... but they could still be cool if they each only appeared one time, and the next sections had different lead sounds. (I'd personally love to hear one section have a wicked solo using a legato synth lead!) And please make the final section a little different than the first section, either in writing or instrumentation or both. I'm looking forward to hearing this one again, it's a good arrangement and has a lot of promise. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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