The Legendary Zoltan Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Since the hardcore gaming audience that started during the NES era is in it's 30s now, I thought it would be worth our while to share what we are learning as we raise children so that we can create a generation of awesome kids that grow up to be awesome adults and save the world. YEAH! I think the most value will be created if we only post the following: 1. Parenting/childcare-related stories that you experienced yourself. 2. Parenting/childcare advice you received from PROFESSIONALS. If not a source from yourself or a professional (doctors, nurses, counsellors, etc.), then I would suggest that people mention where the information came from and why they trust it. I (to my own surprise) am very passionate about children's health and happiness. So I hope this thread thrives and becomes useful to others. OK. I'll start us off with a bunch of random tidbits that I learned from a professional counselor who has his own hospital (I think it's in Chiba) where mother's come and actually eliminate birth defects just by learning how to be the most caring mothers ever. 1. Unlike most other mammals, babies can not walk for the first year of their life. During that first year, the goal should be to give the baby everything it wants and make it feel as comfortable as if it were still inside the womb. 2. I heard from Smooth McGroove (of all people, right?) that there is a trend for mothers in America to just use powdered milk and forgo breast milk entirely. I'm not sure how wide-spread this is but I learned from the same counselor that one of the most important things a baby needs is to breast-feed. Not only for nutritional reasons but for psychological ones as well. The child will become emotionally stable when drinking milk from the mother while making eye-contact. That eye contact is also very important. 3. When a kid tells you that their having problems at school with other kids. The worst thing you can do is try to make them stronger by making them figure out a solution on their own or telling them to "deal with it." This is true all the way up through high school. If we don't help them take care of the problem, 1)the problem will continue to plague them long-term and 2)they'll feel like they can never confess their weaknesses to even their own family. The result will be emotional instability. 4. "The less time you spend taking care of your child, the more you'll have to spend taking care of them as an adult." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meteo Xavier Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 If foregoing breast milk is a trend here, it's not a wide-spread one. I've never heard of any trend like that here. Breastfeeding is such a big deal right now that anyone who casts any shade on it whatsoever is crucified in the same fire as the KKK and mafia. (Full disclosure: I totally support breastfeeding and have no idea why anyone would cast shade on it at all in the first place, but it's a surprisingly FIERCE social issue.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BardicKnowledge Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 My experience more closely mirrors Meteo Xavier's -- breastfeeding so strongly encouraged that even the IDEA of not doing it for at least a full year was looked at with outright disdain by health care people here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Legendary Zoltan Posted September 30, 2014 Author Share Posted September 30, 2014 Ah, OK. Good. Perhaps that was an isolated thing in a small area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prophetik music Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 i should clarify that it's generally acceptable for a mom to not breastfeed if she's having issues with mastitis, or the baby's having trouble latching on, etc. - but it's generally considered standard practice to feed your baby yourself, not the other way around. there's such obvious health benefits for both that it doesn't make a ton of sense to avoid it unless there's a big reason to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meteo Xavier Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 i should clarify that it's generally acceptable for a mom to not breastfeed if she's having issues with mastitis, or the baby's having trouble latching on, etc. - but it's generally considered standard practice to feed your baby yourself, not the other way around. there's such obvious health benefits for both that it doesn't make a ton of sense to avoid it unless there's a big reason to. ^ This guy. Right here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Felis Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 I had serious problems lactating right after my son was born, to the point where he had jaundice because he couldn't flush the toxins out of his body due to nothing being in his belly. The hospital refused to let me have formula to give to him because the lactation specialist was some kind of breast milk facist, and it wasn't until the final day we were there that somebody from the pediatrician's office took one look at my son and demanded he get some formula. So doctors who have some stupid by-the-book practice and don't consider options when a child is clearly ill can go fuck themselves, and you ought to get a second opinion if you ever do run into one of these jackanapes. So yeah, breastfeeding is best because antibodies are passed on that way, but your kid isn't going to suffer too badly. My son very rarely gets sick, but then again he's all up to date on shots. On that note: get your kids their shots. Always. Anti-vaccers are morons, and the "research" was rigged by a man who wanted to bank on a new patent for vaccines. Vaccines don't cause autism, and even if they did, having an autistic kid is a hell of a lot better than having a dead kid. Here's another: respect your kid's personal space. Some parents are all over their little ones, cuddling and kissing them, but that drives some kids crazy. If your child doesn't want to be touched, if you don't have a good reason to, then don't. Respect them like you would respect an older kid or adult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frederic Petitpas Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 My daughter is not yet 3 and always requests metal in the car (lamb of god, children of bomdom, etc). Dunno if I'm bad parenting, but she's awesome. I'll be daddy a 2nd time in february:) For the milk, I don't understand those who don't breastfeed their own babies. One on my gf's friend had a baby a few months ago, and she said her boobs were sexual toys, not for a baby. You would expect more maturity coming from an highschool teacher... My gf almost gave up tho, she wasn't able to get the milk during the 1st week, but once open it rains haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kanthos Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 One of the things I've learned is that there's no right way to parent, and short of witnessing abuse, it's never ok to tell someone that there's only one right way to do things. Every child is different, and good parenting is about figuring out what's best for your children individually, for you as a parent, and your family as a whole, and finding the balance there. I see this problem all the time with my mother-in-law. It's been a long time since she's parented small children (her youngest child, my brother-in-law, is 28), but she acts as if she knows the best way to parent my son, despite the fact that she's making stupid mistakes. One example is when we stay over there, Will will go to bed around 7, which is his usual bedtime. We always put him in bed and leave him; he's 3, and any new attention once we've left the room winds him up, so he can't fall asleep for a long time after that. His grandmother insists on checking on him, which invariably wakes him up or gives him stimulation just as he's about to fall asleep. That keeps him up longer and leaves him tired and cranky in the morning. And despite the fact that my wife and I have observed Will's sleeping habits EVERY DAY and know how much sleep he needs and how he responds to interrupted sleep, we're told that it's not ok for him to be asleep without someone checking on him. For the milk, I don't understand those who don't breastfeed their own babies. One on my gf's friend had a baby a few months ago, and she said her boobs were sexual toys, not for a baby. You would expect more maturity coming from an highschool teacher... Is this actually a question of maturity? Women go through a lot during pregnancy, birth, and raising an infant, and men like you and I will never be able to fully understand it. Part of maturity is knowing your own limits and reservations about something and balancing that with what might be required of you. Whether the decision is mature or not has everything to do with the attitude and thought process that went into the decision and very little or nothing to do with what the actual choice is. Maybe your gf's friend has struggled with body issues in the past and it's taken her a while to accept herself as she is, or maybe she's worried that nursing will change the way she sees herself or the way that her significant other will see her. Maybe she has a history of depression that you and your gf don't know about and she's making choices that will balance the needs of the baby with her own needs. Unless you or your gf have discussed this enough with the friend to really understand why she made the decision, you don't know why she did, so calling it immature seems unfounded. Breastfeeding is objectively better for the baby than formula, provided everything goes smoothly. But, it's certainly not the case that formula-fed babies are doomed to a life of illness or malnutrition or will grow up stunted or be behind in school. I'm all for giving people the information and letting them make the choice that's best for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BardicKnowledge Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 Let's broaden this thread to being more about feeding. How do/did people deal with tantrums for babies just about two years old? Our current strategy is to ignore them by and large. As an aside, what good stories does everyone have about their kids? About three months ago, Owen spilled a little bit of water on my head in the bath and giggled, saying "All wet!" We thought it was funny...and just as I relaxed, he _decked_ me with a cup of water, shouting "More all wet!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Legendary Zoltan Posted October 4, 2014 Author Share Posted October 4, 2014 The doctor and nurses here said not to let a child watch TV (Or any kind of digital screen) until age 2. So I basically can only play games after 9pm now. *SIGH* I need a handheld console. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frederic Petitpas Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 (edited) Yeah they'll tell you whatever. My daughter is two and watches (and love) The Simpsons, (awesome for kids/biology), and other kid stuff like Curious Gorges. She doesn't spend her day on the tv, but I've always watched tv while eating and I'm not gonna stop because I'm a parent. Not claiming that tv is good, but she's so brainy, she reasons like a 4 yrs old. I mean, how many 2 years old know the entire alphabet, already know more words in english then me when I was 8, that the hearth pumps the blood, how babies are made and differenciates metal and jazz ? haha.. I could go on and on, ..havin a kid is awesome.Oh, she still beleives in Santa Claus, I don't think that educating equals crushing dreams ... quite the opposite. I guess I'm a bad parent because we watch tv, but she doesn't at daycare from 8 to 5. edit: kid tv shows nowdays are TOTAL SHIT btw. Edited October 9, 2014 by Metal Man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prophetik music Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 I've always watched tv while eating and I'm not gonna stop because I'm a parent father of the year right here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frederic Petitpas Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 What do you know about being a father, you and your boyfriend adopted ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Felis Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 Leave your anti-gay remarks at the door. They're not wanted. Anyway my son asked to play both "Kirby" and "Mario" today. I was a proud momma. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frederic Petitpas Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 There was not any anti-gay remark here. Leave your insinuations at the door. They're not wanted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prophetik music Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 (edited) There was not any anti-gay remark here.Leave your insinuations at the door. They're not wanted. actually, my wife and i are expecting another child! i admit i don't get the dig, though, was it supposed to be funny? in america, adopted children are actually pretty special since they often give childless couples a chance at parenthood, so if we were in a position where adopting was a good idea, i guess i'd feel pretty good. but i don't have a boyfriend. my son will occasionally sit with me when i play games, but never for more than a few seconds at a time. we still track his screen time quite a bit anyways so it's rare that he's looking at a tv for more than the length of one baby einstein episode at a time. Edited October 10, 2014 by prophetik music removed "but you're still an asshole" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meteo Xavier Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 I'm not sure how you keep a child under 2 from watching a digital screen these days short of keeping them locked up in a cave or something. Sounds rather excessive as an alternative for common sense and moderation. I myself was hoping to get my future progeny's first 18-24 months hooked to long playlists of nature documentaries and COSMO as a way to keep them occupied throughout the days. I don't think the screen itself has anything to do with it, I think it matters what they're watching. My idea here was to start them with this and give them an appreciation of nature, a starting point for a fascination of science, a lot of wonderful images to expand their minds with, and just keep them occupied while I work or clean around them. Obviously that ain't a magic answer for anything, but in this digital age, it's a lot smarter than other parenting ideas in that realm of theory. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frederic Petitpas Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 I'll admit that I'd rather not have her watch tv, and I think people who don't have a tv are somehow lucky, but it's so embedded in my habits that I can't just stop watching tv like that when eating. I'm used to that distraction, but I generally don't watch tv at all except with my morning coffee or supper time. What is wrong with that digital screen tho ? I have a pretty big screen (55") in a small living room.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meteo Xavier Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 Why do you have such a big screen for a small room if you only watch TV at a small portion of the morning? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brandon Strader Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 (edited) TV is a good way to teach your kids about the real world considering everyone else's kids watch TV and they're all little bastards. Better to supervise and explain things to them with a positive moral aspect than to just have other kids doing that for you. :3 You can protect your kid from the controlled environment in your home, but online interactions are not rated by the ESRB, if you get what I'm sayin. edit: I'm speaking from experience having been a kid who got corrupted by other kids, not as a parent, so take it with a grain of sand. Edited October 11, 2014 by Brandon Strader Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BardicKnowledge Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 Owen probably watches 30 minutes of gaming per day in addition to 30 minutes of television. He likes to watch me play Mario before he goes to bed, and the TV watching is almost always the 11:30 AM showing of Jeopardy, which he enjoys watching me play along with before his nap. I agree that going for zero screen time probably just isn't going to work in today's world given how often we check our cell phones for e-mail and text messages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prophetik music Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 you play along with jeopardy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutritious Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 (edited) To clear up some possible misunderstandings about screen time: from some of the reading/research I did quite a while ago, the limited screen time recommendations stem from the perceived effect it has on a child's developing brain. The constant onslaught of changing images & colors can overstimulate the brain and wire it to expect to have an abnormal amount of stimuli. This can (apparently) cause them to have attention/focus issues like ADHD because of the brain's need for that level of input. This largely depends on the type of programming the child is watching: intense, fast-moving vs lower-intensity, slow-moving. For example, a low-intensity program may be a sporting event, which doesn't tend to have a lot of scene changes, bright/flashing/intense colors and quickly moving camera shots. While the epitome of a high-intensity, high-stimulating (read: bad) program would be SpongeBob SquarePants which pretty much encompasses all of the aforementioned items. In our house, we have pretty strict rules for our children's screen time. They are generally allowed to watch 1 program at most a day, and some days, nothing at all. Once or twice a week we'll let them watch a full movie, which usually coincides with Friday evenings, which we've made into a "family movie night" where they get to picnic in the family room for dinner while we all watch. Besides the rare occasion where we'll let them use my old phone to play a game like angry birds, that's essentially all of the screen time they get. We have friends that pretty much don't limit screen time for their kids and I think it's reflected in their children's behavior (I don't think it's necessarily the definitive cause, but I believe it contributes). TV is a good way to teach your kids about the real world considering everyone else's kids watch TV and they're all little bastards. Better to supervise and explain things to them with a positive moral aspect than to just have other kids doing that for you. :3 You can protect your kid from the controlled environment in your home, but online interactions are not rated by the ESRB, if you get what I'm sayin.edit: I'm speaking from experience having been a kid who got corrupted by other kids, not as a parent, so take it with a grain of sand. It sounds like you're coming from a bit of a tongue-in-cheek angle, Brandon, but honestly I couldn't disagree with this more. Obviously, while there is educational and informative programming available, I don't consider television as a good source for life/character/moral/etc development. Sure, as you mentioned you can watch with them and explain/guide them with regards to what they're watching, but honestly, 90% of the stuff my kids would want to watch wouldn't interest me and 90% of the stuff I want to watch won't interest them (this does make movie night a challenge, but we deal). I think you'd see in the majority of situations that kids are watching some cartoons or similar programming without parent guidance or participation, while the parent is doing or working on something else, grateful for the break. A far more ideal scenario is for the parents to utilize real life experiences to teach lessons and moral values. Also, getting the kids outside for physical activity (as a family!), especially in nature-type environments, instead of sitting in front of a screen has benefits that go beyond just the obvious physical ones. For reference, see Last Child in the Woods - very interesting read that's backed up by various research studies. Anyway, I didn't mean to make this a long rant post. We're obviously not perfect in the way we handle screen time or other development issues, but we have done quite a lot of research on this and related topics and do take it really seriously. That said, if anyone has a specific parenting-related question that they'd prefer to keep on the DL, feel free to PM me if you'd like - I have quite a bit of experience in the field . Edited October 12, 2014 by Nutritious Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meteo Xavier Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Justin, if you were a religious icon of some kind, I would totally convert for you. You're one of the wisest things on two legs currently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.