Chimpazilla Posted September 6, 2016 Share Posted September 6, 2016 Hi, this my first submission, so I hope there is no mistake in below contents. Please find the track attached. I've exported it in VBR1 as requested. (Unfortunately, it reduced a bit the quality of the sound in some part of the song, especially in the reverb. I know you specify 192kbps or VBR1, but if necessary I can provide with the 320kbps version) Contact Information Your ReMixer name: Virtual Mediocracy Your real name: Alexandre Guillemenot Your email address: Your website: No website, just a soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/virtual-mediocracy Your userid: 33536 Submission Information Name of game(s) arranged: Secret of Mana Name of arrangement: Ghost and a black rose Name of individual song(s) arranged: "Phantom and...A Rose..." Your own comments about the mix: I don't usually make remixes or covers of songs. But I've always liked video game music, so I thought, why not give it a try? The original song is one of my favorites from the Secret of Mana OST. I focused on the first part of the track, which is very sad in its original version, so I've tried to keep this aspect in my remix, while adding some slight bits of darkness into it. I just recently registered to OCRemix, but I know the site for about 10 years or more. So I thought I might try to submit the result and see how it goes. I've really enjoyed making this remix, so I think I'm going to make more soon. Thank you for your kind consideration. Regards, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpazilla Posted September 6, 2016 Author Share Posted September 6, 2016 The beginning piano is cut off so we'd need a new render if this passes. I like this, although it is repetitive. The piano is mechanical but the effects hide that pretty well. The full soundscape is really cool, and the drums sound great. I'm concerned the arrangement doesn't really do too much, other than 4 bars of alternate chord progression in the middle, the track really never varies. I'm not sure yet on this. edit 10/13/16: I won't hold this up. Let's get this fixed up and resubmitted! NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gario Posted September 6, 2016 Share Posted September 6, 2016 Neat arrangement of the track, and interesting choice of source. It's very ethereal, adding to the haunting effect that the source had. The instruments overall are very wet, heavily relying on reverb in order to achieve the haunting effect that it has. While the layers of reverb does give it that ethereal feel to it, all of those layers of reverb just make the whole track sound like a wash of sound. It's not exactly pleasant to have the layers of reverb turn the song into sound soup. The piano is mechanical, as Chimp mentions. The reverb does well to mask it, but because overall the reverb is causing a series of other issues along with it, I suggest looking into how to humanize a piano better, as well. Be mindful of the dynamic range of the piano, learn how to emulate the pedals (especially the damper pedal), learn how to create convincing phrasing, etc. Without the heavy reverb the mechanical nature of the piano will be exposed, so it will need to be fixed. I agree with Chimp on the relatively repetitive nature of this track, as well. The constant presence of that piano and using it as the backing of the track eventually gets old. It's a great place to start, and it's a nice launching point, but since the track doesn't really develop past that point it never really feels like it develops. The saw at the end sounded like it was getting ready to do something new, and then the piece just... ends. The arrangement leaves the listener wanting for both variety and the resolution of the ideas present. There isn't too much more to say on this - everything is just too wet. The over-reliance on layering reverb pretty much kills this track, so if you want to continue with this idea, clean up that reverb to manageable levels. The arrangement needs some work, as well, developing past that piano part as well as having a satisfying ending, as the incomplete idea that it ends on leaves the listener wanting. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutritious Posted October 6, 2016 Share Posted October 6, 2016 Off the bat, sounds like a rendering issue with the initial note cutoff. I've hit this with FL studio before and it can be avoided by moving out the entire song a beat or so on the timeline. From the beginning, the piano is sounding really rigid. Very in-your-face intensity on many of the instruments. The backing pads are pretty loud, the EP synths are pretty loud (there's some resonance in the 2khz range on the early bell synth). Later, the saw lead also layers on, so the soundfield ends up getting cluttered. Try and see if you can rebalance to push some of the supporting parts to the background so there's not as much competition for space. Scaling back some of the reverb could help in this regard as well. Really like the groove once the drums come in, unfortunately it doesn't stick around long in either case. This is the point where the song felt like it was gaining steam, but soon drops for a breakdown 8 bars in or so. Felt like beat sections could've been developed further and with some variation on the core drum pattern. Vocal synth at 1:25 has a really slow attack which makes it sound like it's behind the beat. May want to see if you can tighten it up. Though it's over 3 minutes, it felt shorter due to repetition of the themes. 1:37 is essentially a rehash of the intro section. 2:12 is another repeat of the earlier drum section, but with an added lead later on. Ending felt a bit sudden, like the end of an unfinished WIP TBH. Definitely more room for expansion on the arrangement ideas as well as some cleanup on the production side. I do like the approach and feel there's a lot of potential here. NO resubmit, please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir_NutS Posted October 13, 2016 Share Posted October 13, 2016 I think I could quote the entirety of Nutritious' vote as he detailed all my issues with this mix. But I'll still try and offer some extra thoughts: On 10/6/2016 at 2:06 PM, Nutritious said: Off the bat, sounds like a rendering issue with the initial note cutoff. I've hit this with FL studio before and it can be avoided by moving out the entire song a beat or so on the timeline. ^ This is some good advice to fix your note cutoff issue, as this has happened to me as well before, in different DAWs. Although I agree with Nutritious' vote, I didn't mind the repetition of the groove as much. I've been known to love some remixes that use extreme repetition as a base to build upon, however in those cases there are always layers upon layers of interesting, evolving things happening over time, as well as a structure to carry them forward, which is something I think this piece doesn't accomplish very well. As noted, the drums come up at one section but drop out promptly without establishing a proper section. Breakdowns come in when there's no need for breakdowns but for energy development, and the track ends unceremoniously. Besides the production qualms listed above, I did like your approach, and would like to hear a more refined version. NO (Resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 The production of the piano was decent, though, to me, it's lacking. The sequencing sounded mechanical, but the soundscape is airy enough where that issue was mitigated some; to me, the timing of the piano chords shouldn't sound so blocky. From :48-1:36 & 2:00-3:00, the countermelody essentially became drowned out; while it wasn't a dealbreaker issue on its own, it's an issue for most of the song. This could use some volume and balance tweaks to ensure the countermelody isn't washed out by the other sounds in play. Just for clarification, I see your notes about feeling the encoding may have reduced the quality, but I don't believe 320kbps vs. 192kbps or VBR1 would be a factor in the critique. Melodically, this could have taken more risks, but the overall sound of this was decently personalized. By 1:36, the track was feeling repetitive; some sort of dynamic contrast through different instrumentation or textures would help. Right now, there's a gradual escalation through the additional padding/vox over time, but the overall flow of this piece still comes across as too static. 2:35's synth-led section was something new for a few seconds before the finish, but there's the potential for more. Watch the cut-off ending as well, that's just an needless error that should be corrected. Keep at it, Alexandre; you show potential with this one and it's clear you have the right ideas in mind as far as giving a track your own personalized, expansive sound.NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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