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Gerard White

1. work-in-progress Zora's Last Serenade (remix)

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Wow!

At first I nearly turned it off. My ears told me it was loud and garbled and didn't make any sense. But like a good exotic cheese, if you just hang in there, all at once, it hits you. It's actually fantastic. The warbling effect of the kettle drum, and the submerging feeling of the source really makes a fitting setting for the piece as a whole. There's a sense of desparation, and fate to it. I really quite love it! Well done.

The source is not much to work with, obviously, it's mild, and short, and not incredibly technical; but it has been done. I did grip my chair a bit as I listened, only due to the volume of the piece as a whole. It's very loud, which contributes to the initial reaction. It doesn't evolve much. I like what you did with it, but I wanted to hear it grow and have a life of it's own away from it's roots. The original areas were nice but the second time around, once again, I was hoping for something to evolve, change it up a bit. Really, as far as technique goes, I think it's unique, oddly unsettling, strangely fun. As a WIP I believe it has potential and want to hear it again after some revision. You have my attention.

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I agree with Saron, you've got the start of something great here. I'd suggest working on the dynamics a bit to avoid some cringing. The synthetic choir sounding part is a little too high and shrill, such as around '0:52. I do like how you almost steep into a minor key at times, it helps build tension in the piece. Keep at it!

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Along with the guys above are saying, You might be able to do a lot of stuff via panning that could add another dimension to this piece. The big is what Saron was talking about is trying to put your own spin on it via the 2nd time it comes up. Can't wait to see what happens!

 

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Thank you so much guys!

Im currently working on a zelda ocarina of time album, will post soon a bit so you can listen and tell me what do you think :) !

I loved your comments (at the beginning i didnt think i would receive any comments), certainly i will consider all of that for my next zelda song!!

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Apologies for the late evaluation. Can't say when this was marked for eval, but I suspect we were quite late regardless. Anyway...

It is too loud. I don't mind it being garbled and warped in places, since that's clearly intentional. But I can't tell if the loudness is. At 0:54 when the level drops, some noise similar to clipping noise also drops, suggesting it is indeed too loud. I'm also noticing some really distracting compression issues at around 2:20. So on the production side, there's stuff to do. You might be able to clear some headroom with EQ-ing out the lows from the instruments that don't need them, and being a bit more selective about levels and frequency balance overall (which would also bring out some of the background instruments some more). But if that doesn't work, cutting the overall level by a few dB should take care of the overcompression and clipping issues.

The arrangement is cool. I like this sort of creepy take on the source. There's a few sections where the dissonance seems like poor writing rather than intentionally unsettling, like at 1:10. I really like the calmer sections, when the production issues related to loudness aren't getting in the way, but also just for how the track moves from soft to loud. The ending is a little weak. It could use a little more signalling before the 4:55 final note, e.g. with a tempo slowdown or a cymbal crescendo or something.

I think the instrumentation is fine. The weakest is the lead, which sounds like a string ensemble used as a lead. Layering it with a more solo performance sounding string lead could resolve that issue, but there are other solutions, including leaving it as it is. Though any solution would still require better mixing in order to pass the panel.

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[This is an automatically generated message]

I've reviewed your remix and have returned it to Work-in-Progress status, indicating that I think there are some things you still need to work on. After you work on your track and feel that it's ready for submission to OCR, please change the prefix back to Ready for Review and someone will review it again. Good luck!

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