Gario

*NO* Shenmue 'Sedge Tree (Ambient Mix)'

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Note: If passed, this track will need a new title.

- Gario

Contact Information:

Your ReMixer name: Teo
Your real name: Peter Hosszu
Your email address: 
Your website: https://soundcloud.com/rocknrolla42

Submission Information

Name of game(s) arranged: Shenmue
Name of arrangement: Ambient remix
Name of individual song(s) arranged: Teo - Shenmue (Sedge Tree) - Ambient Remix
Link to the original soundtrack (if it is not one of the sound archives already available on the site): https://youtu.be/5BA073TGUDc

Your own comments about the mix, for example the inspiration behind it, how it was made, etc.: It's a very old remix from 2005, played a lot of Shenmue back then, and I was hooked to the melody, so made this remix.

 

 

Edited by Liontamer
closed decision

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I certainly wouldn't call this "ambient!"  For the most part, it's much more exciting and engaging than the source material.  It takes its time but it's never passive background noise.

However, regarding the source material, this arrangement doesn't make a whole lot of use of it.  It uses the chord progressions, but that's about it except for 2:08-3:12 and 4:16-5:20 (which sounds like almost a repeat, with just an extra arp layer differentiating it).  That's only 38% of the arrangement.

The synths are an interesting choice.  Some of them, notably the main pad and bass, are quite gritty, and when layered, the mix sounds low-fi.  2:24-3:12 is the most extreme example of this; that section also sounds muffled, with the pad and bass too loud in comparison to the lead. It also clips by almost 1dB, and it's causing a lot of distortion and pumping.

I'm sorry, but while I was mostly into this, I just can't make enough of a source connection.  The production also really needs to be cleaned up--at the very least, there's just no reason to clip like that.  I enjoyed the creative expansion of the source and the groove you built up, but I can't ignore those issues.

NO

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You're very brave sending in a track made nearly 15 years ago.  There are mixposts for remixes created years before they got posted here, so that kind of stunt isn't impossible.  But this one still has its faults, unfortunately.

MindWanderer nailed the source breakdown, so I don't have to.  Regarding source connection, referencing the chord structure isn't enough when almost any other piece of music can have it applied.  To fill those gaps, consider having little sprinkles of the melody on occasion throughout these problem sections, or even reference the backing instrumentation in the original.

Also, I see balance as a subject of concern.  Right off the bat, there's not a lot of high frequencies filled in.  An idea I have to remedy it is to add a high shelf to your early leads or pads - but not both, as they'll fight over the same amount of space.  The instrument(s) that doesn't get boosted can instead get a mid-range boost with a similar cut on the one with the high shelf.

The aforementioned overpowering bass problem at 2:24 can get remedied with either lowering its volume or applying an EQ cut along the mid-frequency section.

Subjectively, I'm also not a fan of that ending sustained note at 5:23.  It can work in some cases, but I think it'll work better if the length is similarly as short as the other notes leading out to it.  Ambiance typically relies more on atmosphere and performance space to create something mesmerizing.

To sum up this vote, a minimal source connection and unbalanced instrumentation are my main reasons for why I'm unable to pass this.  Nevertheless, 13 years is a long time between making a track and submitting it to the panel, so I'm hoping you've learned some new tricks in the interim.  If you get a chance to revise/remake the track, the OCR inbox will still be available.

NO (resubmit)

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i don't have a lot to say that hasn't already said. i actually enjoyed the vibe you were creating (especially at first!), but there's simply not enough source to really call this one. while we have said that unique or memorable chord structures are enough for arrangement, this isn't either of those, and really needs more melody content to tie it to the source.

i will say that the clipping is bad and needs to be fixed, and rexy nailed the sonic space issue when she talked about the shelf filter. once you've applied those (fairly straightforward) fixes, though, i think there's a good framework here. some creative attention to making connections to the source beyond the chord structure that don't mess with the vibe and feel you've got going will do wonders to the vote on a resub.

 

NO

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