Liontamer Posted June 7, 2023 Share Posted June 7, 2023 (edited) Ok! Thank you very much for the feedback, i will send my remix of the Asgore's theme of Undertale instead Contact information: Remixer name: Gabriel Busarello Remixer real name: Gabriel Dell'Agnolo Busarello Email: Website (Facebook page): https://www.facebook.com/BusarelloGabriel Submission information: Name of the game: Undertale Name of arrangement: The Spooky King Name of individual song arranged: Asgore's theme Composer: Toby Fox Link to the original soundtrack: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKLxc2NsNcg Comments: This is an orchestral version of the Asgore's theme, with the intention to change the mood of the music for something more "halloween style", spooky, etc. Remix: Sincerely, Gabriel Busarello. Edited November 18, 2023 by Liontamer closed decision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted June 25, 2023 Author Share Posted June 25, 2023 OK, you caught me off guard, Gabriel; cool approach, cinematic orchestral. Not the most realistic-sounding sample set, but it's more than capable of providing the level of sound quality and relative realism to pass our production bar. From 1:19-1:47, the bass did have purposeful, deliberate pacing, but the textures there seemed on the static and relatively thin side. At only 2:11-long, it was very important that the arrangement ideas didn't repeat anything in a cut-and-paste way, so I'm good here. For me, what's here is transformative enough and just over my line of fleshed out enough. The production side of this is also just enough to squeak by as well, with effective enough usage of these instruments. There's definitely ways to increase the flow and cohesion here that other Js would better be able to speak to, and the argument could also be made that it could use 30-to-60 seconds' more development, so let's see how we fare. YES (borderline) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindWanderer Posted July 19, 2023 Share Posted July 19, 2023 It is indeed quite short, conservative, quiet, and thin. Those are the things that leap out at me right away. Structurally it's unchanged from the original, but it is genre-transformed and key-shifted, and there's some simple original part-writing. The background orchestration is pretty basic, though. This is borderline for me, too. Production is borderline, orchestration is borderline, development is borderline, interpretation is borderline. Altogether the issues are adding up enough for me to fall just on the other side.\ NO (borderline) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prophetik music Posted August 10, 2023 Share Posted August 10, 2023 the original is about 2:34 long and this remix is only about 2:05. the initial presentation of the winds isn't bad, but they're not played particularly idiomatically - there's a lot of space between the notes in a way that doesn't come across as intentional, and some of the instrument choices are not particularly cohesive. in the section at 0:22, for example, the vibe (?) usage is extra clanky and doesn't fit against the natural timbre of the oboe, bassoon, or strings. the section starting at 0:58 with the flutes was a great chance to mix up your backing parts. with a track this short, you need to take advantage of every possible chance to show arrangement and nuance in your approach. similarly, 1:19 is arguably the biggest part of the original, and here you're sticking with the boom-pop background, sustained strings, and the same few lead instruments you had before. there is a lot you can do here with orchestral percussion and a bigger full-ensemble sound, but you chose to again keep it conservative. 1:48 brings back the (unwelcome) vibraphone and features what i believe are some incorrect or unsupported harmonic choices in the supporting instruments. please plan to take another look at the harmonic choices through this last 20s stretch to ensure that you're not competing with the arpeggiated chords the vibe is playing, even in passing. similarly, mirroring at the fourth is not a pleasing harmonic choice for the last few riffs - perfect fourths and fifths mirroring for harmonies sound robotic, and that boosts the overall uncanny valley of most of the instrumentation. unfortunately the best parts of this track are toby fox's, not yours, gabriel. the instrumentation is lacking (there are much better free options available in 2023), the arrangement is pretty lackluster throughout, and there is no verve or dynamic shape to the track the way the original swells and drops down. please consider adding more dynamics throughout, work on flexing some part-writing muscle and not just layering in sustains on a pad, and identify more idiomatic ways to 'perform' each instrument. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emunator Posted November 11, 2023 Share Posted November 11, 2023 I fall exactly in line with MindWanderer - there are a lot of elements in this track that, while not bad, are underwhelming individually and leave me feeling like this track has not had enough time to cook yet. The orchestration quality is serviceable, but there's a distinct lack of expression and dynamics across the board, so this feels more like a sketch than an actual performance. Even with a mellow, intimate orchestration, there's plenty of room for articulation and dynamic contrast that could be explored. The arrangement itself is short and doesn't really introduce a lot of new writing, so although the genre transformation is substantial in and of itself, the short arrangement also feels underdeveloped. Don't get me wrong - I actually love how this source sounds in this style, it's such an unexpected and clever twist that feels totally worth exploring. That said, this feels like a rough demo/sketch rather than a complete product, and your vision definitely has more room to be fully realized. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkSim Posted November 18, 2023 Share Posted November 18, 2023 Ooh, this one's almost there! It's borderline all the way through, however the ending falls flat on a few counts, and that sinks it for me. The flute from 1:48 is probably the wrong instrument choice here, and because the sample is being retriggered quickly and with the same articulation, it exposes its fakeness too much. It also doesn't sound like you're cutting the previous sample off when the next one is triggered, which is a big no-no when attempting to emulate a natural performance (as I assume you are). There will be a setting on your sampler to do this, and I would recommend turning it on for monophonic instruments such as woodwinds. Aside from the flute, the backing instrumentation is very sparse, and although the timbre of that detuned vibraphone does give it a spooky feel, it doesn't help it gel with the more natural-sounding instruments it's working with. Putting the lacklustre ending to one side, though, I enjoyed the rest of the track! It's a clever twist on the source, however you're relying on that twist throughout, and there's not a lot else beyond the genre switch that sets this one apart from the original. Humanisation of the instruments could be improved, there ought to be some more dynamics in the piece as well, and some more original writing to guide the listener through the piece would be welcome. It's very short at the moment, and I'm sure you could get at least another minute out of it. Mastering is a little on the quiet side, and I also noticed the bass string plucks are panned a little to the right-hand side. Not a huge deal for a short track, but if you do extend the length, make sure to bring them central so as not to fatigue the listener's right ear more than the left. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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