Liontamer Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 Original Decision: http://ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=4594 name: Shaun Wallace avaris.studios@gmail.com remixer name: avaris 88369 remixer name: DragonAvenger remixer name: Retlaf Remix: PROJECT MIX & RESUB Googlepages Putfile link for those with dial-up Source Tunes: Radical Dreamers Track 8 - 9/17: Requiem ~ Dream Shore (2) Chrono Cross At the Dream's Shore ~ Another World This is a mix for Thieves of Fate the Radical Dreamers Project. If this song is accepted please classify it as a Radical Dreamers mix. avaris: So this might sound familiar to some of you. This is actually a re-remixed version of DragonAvenger and Retlaf's Hallucination of Another World. I absolutely loved the song and I was in the mood to make a down tempo synth/ethnic type of song with female vocals…So I approached both of them and they agreed. I wanted the song to have a little bit more pizzazz so I added Requiem Dream Shore from the Radical Dreamers OST. And then with that I approached the Prophet of Mephisto about getting the mix on the Radical Dreamers Project (Thieves of Fate) and after a demo of what I was going for, the song got on. There you go that's the long and the short about the fateful journey of this project, resub, re-remix. For this new version DA redid some of the vocals to address the judges views on the piano/vocal version. As for composition I literally took Retlaf's awesome piano work and starting building a soundscape around it. I added a bassline and added a section around the middle of the song that reintroduced the Requiem theme. There were other small compositional differences I threw in too. For the processing on the vocals I did two versions. One relatively dry and one insanely wet; and then I automated the volume between them at times to create different artifacts in the sound. This has prob been my most challenging and most rewarding musical endeavor to date. A big thanks goes out to Ross Kmet and Prophet of Mephisto for taking some time and really helping me get the most out of my concepts and ideas. I wasn't able to get any comments from Retlaf, but I do know from his emails that he really enjoyed how the piece turned out. Big thanks to him bc his piano work is really the power behind all the composition. DragonAvenger: When Retlaf first arranged this piece for piano in the WIP forums at OCRemix I thought it would be perfect to write and sing lyrics to. I spent some time thinking about what I wanted to convey, and more than anything the thought of duality and the search for the right place to be stuck in my mind, which I think fit's the song very well. The melody actually turned out to be tougher to sing than I originally thought, but it was a learning experiance which I'm glad for. Avaris' version kicked everything up a notch nicely, and I'm just as happy with this version as I was with the original. The Lyrics Dreaming of a shore on another world; Endless seas and sand far as I can see. Is this where I'm meant to be? Is this my fate, my destiny? Dreaming of my shadow staring at me; Is this real, or a mirror of what I see? Am I the true reality, Or am I just a reflection? Searching for a shore on another world Where I'll seek the truth of my existence. Do my answers lie on this shore? Will I find you among the sand? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zykO Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 as an arrangement, this is an interesting piece. this is definetly more of your vocal style, for one - i was just listening to the lunar track and this is much better. the vocals generally follow the original source but this is a very pleasant arrangement of a theme that has been done many times. the verb is surprisingly tastefully abundant - a lot but good. it gives it a sort of world enigma sort of feel to it which is perfect for the source and the bottom line. the mastering on this is good. the intro is a good start for the arrangement as it is very transporting. the transition into the intro is escorted by the quirky drum transition into the vocal section. you play with that subtle bassline that actually gives what is seemingly a slow, airy, ambient piece a steady pulse. nice feelin good about this one. YES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 http://snesmusic.org/v2/download.php?spcNow=rd - "Requiem ~ Dream Shore (2)" [rd-09.spc] http://tzone.org/~llin/psf/packs2/Chrono_Cross_psf.rar - 107 "Dream of the Shore Bordering Another World" Interesting opening; woodwind vibrato was a bit awkward, but a cool idea. Segue to the next section via the drums fading in around :34 was a decent idea, but not very smooth as a transition. Didn't do much to make the two parts seem anything other than completely disconnected. Drums exposed on their own around :50-:56 just showed how flimsy the textures were. The source countermelody and pads at :56 helped flesh the soundfield out, but the beats were really thin and the texture sounded completely awkward. These sounds aren't really gelling together at all, and some of the instrumental changeup just come across as awkward. Like at 1:19 when DA's vocals arrive, you have some slightly harder percussion and the electric bassline all of a sudden shift back for some mallet percussion and woodwind, and the combinations don't gel together. Sounded like the background fell apart from 1:52-2:03. All of a sudden the music fucking melted and the instrumentation got all sparse and unfocused. Even the tempo didn't seem like it was holding still. Woodwind seemingly resolves ok, but the phrasing on it wfelt wakward. One of the other Js can elborate or correct me, but it seems like the backing instrumentation isn't complementing the vocals properly much of the time. 2:34 stays too sparse with the instrumentation, but the music keep changing seemingly at random. These ideas are just bouncing from one to the next too quickly. I mean, I love variation and development, but there's no development. And when there's no development, variation for the sake of variation means nothing. Wish I could be more specific about where this all goes off the rails, but you need the instrumentation to develop and evolve more naturally, and it needs to be fleshed out more. Right now, the end result is sloppy. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vig Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 I think the instrumentation is great for the most part, and the vocals are solid. Like larry, i'm confused by the decrescendo at the 2 minute mark. everything loses steam. what's that all about? it works on a certain level to the end of conveying solitude, but i think it could have been pulled off better. i'm right on the border for this one. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillian Aversa Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 Wow, great concept for a remix remix! I love the New Age feel you've given this piece (surprised?), and the vocals shine more in this kind of texture than the solo piano version. I do see some problems, however: The intro, while interesting, doesn't have much to do with the rest of the piece, which is in d minor. I'm curious to know why you did it in such a distant key. The pan flute sample is sequenced rather choppily; you can hear a punch with each new note. Percussive transition out of the intro feels sort of empty and disconnected. The vocals seem to get suddenly louder at around 1:29, in the middle of a phrase. Vocals are noticeably behind the beat sometimes! Panning of vocals seems to vary from time to time. Can you keep them centered? It's distracting when you switch them around. ^_~ At about 3:16, the instruments drop out suddenly. I thought that sounded a little awkward. Guitar sequencing at the very end is really fake. Same kind of clicks that you hear in the intro's pan flute. I still really don't like the way the lyrics don't make sense with the shape of the vocal phrases. I pointed that out in more detail with Hallucination of Another World, so maybe this could be DA's chance to rework those. Percussion could have a little more punch, too. But all in all, you're off to a good start! NO RESUBMIT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zircon Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 The intro is definitely sloppy and the transition is awkard. The percussion is too dry and generally very boring and mixed far too low. The shamisen sample is practically general MIDI; wtf? Compared to the other sounds it's awful, I know you can do better. The vocals being behind the beat was distracting, though the performance was passable IMO. Some sections just fell apart, eg. 1:53. Really meandering and pointless w/ a total lack of energy as pointed out before. 2:15 as well was just bad. Was the tempo slowly increasing towards the end? The parts here just... do not gel. There is no cohesion in the instruments or the rhythms. This needs to be WAY tighter and, honestly, rebuilt from the ground up from a production standpoint. Really re-think all the mixing choices, effects, EQ, timing, etc so things mesh together without being muddy or off-rhythm. On the arrangement side, the intro is the strongest part but it bears no connection to the rest of the mix, really. The interpretation level is decent, with the better stuff coming in towards the end. A little too much verbatim use of the original chords + riffs + melody at times. The ending was also really weak. Could have been significantly stronger in this category overall. Sorry I couldn't be more positive but this really needs improvement in virtually every area. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJT Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 :00-1:53 = borderline yes 1:54-end = not gonna cut it. From a performance/arrangement/production perspective, everything kind of falls apart at 1:53. DA, your voice sounds a lot better this time around, but there are still a few intonation moments, and unfortunately they're really exposed. A great example of this is right at 1:53, actually. In the latter half of the mix, the arrangement feels really aimless. Having all those melodic lines in the same register as DA's voice really muddles things up, and the fact that they're inhabiting the same space in the stereo field doesn't help, either. Also, the rhythm section after 1:53 needs to be revamped. Epileptic hi-hat patterns + staccato bass line = awkward foundation for everything else. The bass really, really, needs to be holding down the groove here, instead of bubbling in and out of consciousness. Think longer, more melodic bass lines that can give the mix a solid harmonic foundation. To sum things up, the supporting instrumentation needs to be rehashed for this to work, but honestly, you might be better off scrapping the whole second half and coming up with something different. Keep at it. NO, RESUBMIT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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