Cerrax Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 So I've always had an idea that Corneria's theme should be a lot harder and rock-esque than it is in the game. So I took a shot at it. http://www.cerrax.com/Starfox%20We%20Are%20Starfox%20OC%20ReMix.mp3 I'm no singer, so the vocals are pretty bad, but I wanted to see if I could pull it off. LYRICS: The sun to my back As thetowers burn before me Hands reaching out Shake me to pieces again Light I've woken from this dream A sound Red alert calling my name Chorus All those years without a father Builds a temple for my fire They have come to take our land But they will find they've crossed the wrong man Go now, Starfox Team Racing through the heavens at the speed of light Go now, Starfox Team If we can end this war, let's do it tonight /Chorus The horizon glows with defeated foes We're going down the hard path Liberation flies upon our side Never shall we let them down The Wolves are feeding, let's make them full Make them pay for sure Target lock, the ticking clock My soul has just come a flame Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
227 Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 I don't know what it is about this, but I keep getting flashbacks of the movie Top Gun. Huh. Moving on, this is mechanical but enjoyable save for a few lines of too-cheesy lyrics: Red alert calling my name (borderline) They have come to take our land But they will find they've crossed the wrong man (these two lines could be much improved by downplaying the words "land" and "man") Go now, Starfox Team Racing through the heavens at the speed of light Go now, Starfox Team If we can end this war, let's do it tonight (direct references to the game were a bit too over-the-top, and that last line was weak) There are some other lines that were saved from cheesiness solely because of well-placed subtlety in the intonation. My personal preference is for lyrics that aren't directly tied to the game but reference them indirectly through shared imagery and the like. That might just be me, though. And that "intro" is too long, the reason for the quotes being that there are too many things going on before the vocals kick in. It just takes too long to get to the vocal part. I kept going "Oh, here it comes...nope. Not that time." It came across as stalling rather than building up to the first verse. There seem to be some odd tempo changes that come out of nowhere, but they're not so drastic as to detract from the mix as a whole. All things considered, this is good. I've certainly heard worse voices, and the vocals actually add something rather than sitting on top for no discernible reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tensei Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 TAKE ME TO THE DANGER ZONE Sorry, I had a topgun flashback =P The lyrics are generally quite cheesy, though the vocal processing is decent, and your singing voice ok. Still, there's something about it that doesn't sound quite right. Guitars are obviously fakey, but drums are decent. I suggest you try to take up Sixto to play guitars again, or try to find someone else who would be willing and able to (me, possibly, though it won't sound as good as Sixto). Arrangementwise, this is well above the bar with some good sequencing and awesomely cheesy orchestra hits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerrax Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 Hey man if you can't come right out and say "Yes this is a song about a video game", then maybe I'm on the wrong website. I thought this was a VG music site Cheesey-ness aside, I tried really hard to get the vocals to sound good. The only problem is I haven't fixed the timing yet. That's probably what makes thevocals sound "off" a bit, and it's easy enough to fix. I also wanted to get some of the sound effects from the game, but I have no way of doing it. It would be cool to have real guitars in this song, but I really like the synthy sound of the guitars I have. Other than the obvious fake guitars and cheesey lyrics, anything else that I shoudl really be looking for that's wrong? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
227 Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Hey man if you can't come right out and say "Yes this is a song about a video game", then maybe I'm on the wrong website. I thought this was a VG music site But there are ways of appreciating the music without making it sound like you're trying to put yourself in the game. Assigning one's own voice to game characters tends to be hit-or-miss, and I think that at times, this was a lyrical miss. However, I did say it was only personal preference. There's depth in subtlety, something that lines like "All those years without a father/Builds a temple for my fire" have. I'd like to see more of those, because the positives are being weighed down by the cheesiness of the more bold sections. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexis Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Vocals still need a little work, as somebody mentioned before, some of them are a little off. And your voice isn't that bad, it actually took me a minute before I recognized that it was you, although intonation is a little iffy. first verse is good, first part of the chours is good, second part of the chorus you sound like you're forcing it and it's a little off key. Same thing towards the end of the second verse. Live guitar would be awesome if you can get it. Overall it's pretty cool, and the vocals are a nice addition, just needs a little editing. Editing is icky, have fun with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dafydd Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Hey, I actually like your voice. It sounds like something I've heard before... not a rock voice, more the kind you'd hear in political punk music. The guitar is killing me though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunther Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Great work, this MUST be accepted! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dafydd Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Lol, I doubt it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OceansAndrew Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Vocal timing has issues, but you know that. Things get a lot stronger for the second half, so I suggest redoing the first half after you get warmed up. Vocal treatment is pretty awesome in a 80's britpop style. I dig it. I have to say I am a fan of the vocals, but you need some harmony in places. Some 3 part harmony added in some of the chorus phrases would make this way more epic. Your voice sounds really good with the style, and the material fits the starfox style very well. I dislike the guitar sound, though the part writing is really good and interesting. The clean guitar sounds a lot more natural than the distorted, but the distorted sounds decent in the rhythm parts, it's just the attack on the lead that messes with it. Things also seem a little flat productionwise, though I can show you a super quick and easy trick for that. I don't think this will pass with the synth guitar, but the arrangement and vocals are there IMO. If you want some live stuff and El Sixto is busy I could record them for you; everything in this song is well within my abilities, and I have a new gear setup i've been dying to try out, but havn't had the chance to do so yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerrax Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 Sounds like we have a collab! OA, I would like very much to have you play the guitar for this song. Especially since we have already been discussing working together outside of VG remixes. I will send you a PM with some files and what not. In the mean time, I will practice and re-record the lyrics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwordBreaker Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 I've got to admit, this is extremely catchy. Personally, I think that the cheesiness of the lyrics really suits the music and adds to the appeal. This remix immediately reminded me of the 80s cartoons theme songs, like Silver Hawks, Transformers, and TMNT...only much cooler due to the composition of this remix. As for the singing, while you don't have a huge vocal range, there's something about your voice that's cool. It also has this 80s-ish feel to it. Reminds me of some of those Daft Punk vocals, too. Keep it up, Cerrax. You can keep doing retakes of the lyrics until you get it just right. I like the whole "theme song" style of the writing and singing, though. So keep it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SynthesizedStampede Posted August 31, 2007 Share Posted August 31, 2007 I agree with SwordBreaker, this one catchy sonuvagun haha. Since I'm not a music techie and just a listener, I can't really provide in-depth advice. I'm not sure about this one, but MAYBE you'd want to up the volume on the vocals a bit. Overall though, I really like what you did with the Corneria Theme here, it rocks my socks for real. But yeah, in my eyes the vocals fit perfectly, it's just that the timing for some lyrics are just a bit off, but that was already mentioned. I have a good feeling with this mix, it just needs some polishing up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midian_Galaxus Posted September 1, 2007 Share Posted September 1, 2007 You know, I rather enjoy the lyrics. Subtle changes need to be made in which words are emphasized. I don't mind the singing at all, your voice has this kind of Corporate Avengers quality to it. I wouldn't mind taking a crack at recording the guitars either, if they're not used, for nothing more than the fun of doing so. I definitely wouldn't suggest anyone else singing this as your voice is part of the quality. Hopefully once this comes closer to fruition however the overall slightly present muddy-ness of it all gets worked on. This kind of reminds me of a complete rock-remix of FF9's Battle theme I was working on and left long in the dust. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnappleMan Posted September 1, 2007 Share Posted September 1, 2007 While the lyrics are badly sung and written, they can be worked on, the bigger problem is the sound of the song. The sounds you've chosen all sound lifeless and blatantly fake. Although I do somewhat like the arrangement, you've left out big parts of the original song that made it really good, so you really should re-arrange the song to include all of the original in some form, otherwise you'll be left with a song that's halfway decent and not really interesting. The vocal style you've chosen to sing in doesn't work, and the lyrics break rhythm and are very badly written. You write everything literally, there's nothing clever going on. You need to find more creative ways to express yourself vocally because otherwise it ends up sounding extremely cheesy and bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerrax Posted September 1, 2007 Author Share Posted September 1, 2007 You know, I rather enjoy the lyrics. Subtle changes need to be made in which words are emphasized. I don't mind the singing at all, your voice has this kind of Corporate Avengers quality to it. I wouldn't mind taking a crack at recording the guitars either, if they're not used, for nothing more than the fun of doing so. I definitely wouldn't suggest anyone else singing this as your voice is part of the quality. Hopefully once this comes closer to fruition however the overall slightly present muddy-ness of it all gets worked on.This kind of reminds me of a complete rock-remix of FF9's Battle theme I was working on and left long in the dust. Wow, I didn't know anybody knew about Corporate Avenger! I love their stuff! SnappleMan: Considering the song is made up of guitar and a few synths, yes it IS all fake. But I am sending a file to some inetrested fellows so that real guitars can be placed into the mix. Believe me when I say I spent many hours trying to incorporate the whole song, but I left out those parts because they just didn't fit in at all with the song. If you notice Wingless' "Godspeed" mix, he doesn't use those parts either, because they just don't work well outside of their original context. As for the vocals, I have said it before in this thread. It is merely opinion whether the lyrics are good or not. Also, I didn't fix the timing on the current version, so it sin't really matched up to the music yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midian_Galaxus Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 Yeah, compared to the "norm" musical tastes of most people, my selection looks pretty eclectic and varied. Corporate Avengers and Angel Dust sitting next to Simon & Garfunkel and Elvis Presley. Only things I won't listen to are country and rap/r&b for the most part. Lemme know if you'd like me to try my hand at the guitars, I'm always willing to help, especially since I've never seriously sat down and tried to work something of my own out to a finish, heh. While SnappleMan's crits are truthful, well, you've already heard my take on the vocals. They just need to be fine tuned in areas where intonation goes kind of off and makes a certain emphasis where it doesn't belong, and I think the campy nature of the lyrics is just part of the quality of the mix. I have a feeling it might take a few people collaboratively to turn this mix into an enjoyable finished product but I don't doubt it's potential to so. The crowd will just be divided by tastes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tensei Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 Same here by the way, I've already said this, but I'm re-emphasizing: if you need guitars I could do them for you too, if your other collabs wouldn't work out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hale-Bopp Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 Sweet! I just listened to this and I'm really digging the arrangement a lot. There's already been a lot of great suggestions made, so I won't bother. I see a lot of potential and I can't wait to hear the final mix! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnappleMan Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 Wow, I didn't know anybody knew about Corporate Avenger! I love their stuff!SnappleMan: Considering the song is made up of guitar and a few synths, yes it IS all fake. But I am sending a file to some inetrested fellows so that real guitars can be placed into the mix. Believe me when I say I spent many hours trying to incorporate the whole song, but I left out those parts because they just didn't fit in at all with the song. If you notice Wingless' "Godspeed" mix, he doesn't use those parts either, because they just don't work well outside of their original context. As for the vocals, I have said it before in this thread. It is merely opinion whether the lyrics are good or not. Also, I didn't fix the timing on the current version, so it sin't really matched up to the music yet. The other parts of the song DO fit, you just have to know how to make em fit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunther Posted September 3, 2007 Share Posted September 3, 2007 If you need someone to play the bass I can do my first attempt... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MasterFox72 Posted September 5, 2007 Share Posted September 5, 2007 Wow, I really liked it, though I agree that the singing could be improved upon, but I like the lyrics a lot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tensei Posted September 5, 2007 Share Posted September 5, 2007 Since you all seem to like this song so much, I've done some live guitars. Also, Cerrax hasn't responded to my PM, and I'm really dying for feedback. A few notes: - Some timing issues, especially with the clean guitar. Seriously, SCREW fingerpicking. =P - No proper mixing, due to having to work with an MP3-backing track, thus the 'mixing' occured in audacity, which doesn't exactly have an effective limiter for multiple tracks, so yes, there's clipping. - The Phasered guitar was an idea to have it sound like a soaring Arwing, tell me what you think. =P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midian_Galaxus Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 Yeah, unfortunately I've had to pull myself out of the guitar recording. Lotta personal issues right now including finances. Had to sell off my $600 Ibanez and my pedal effects system I was planning to use to make the recordings. Which leaves me with an aging Zoom Fire 15 amp and my Fender Squire 3/4 size practice guitar. Not a good setup for this at all. Kinda sucks because I had the acoustic part down pat after messing with positions on the neck and ditching the finger picking idea as well...well, not completely, but hybrid picking for the most part. Hopefully, Cerrax gets back ontop of things and this starts to get worked out. Despite I'm finding myself unable to take part now I'd love to see this finished. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harmony Posted September 7, 2007 Share Posted September 7, 2007 What a difference live guitars can make Love the panned phaser but I could have used more bite in the distorted power chords. They seem to mush together and lose definition, especially on low notes. Probably just need to mess around with the eq. SCREW fingerpicking. =P lol. I'm loving the audio snap in SONAR 6 because it corrects all kinds of timing issues like these. If you have access to it that would be great (I think Cubase has something similar). Otherwise, you can always cut up the guitar audio clips yourself and stretch-slide-tweak until it's fingerpickin' good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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