*NO* Raptor 'Eclipse' *RESUB*

[Liontamer]

Original Decision: http://www.ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=12914

worked on it like hell...

hope this one qualifies.

Remixer Nick - Lep666

Real Name - Shai Buskila

Game - Raptor: Call Of The Shadows

Original Track Name - Level 6

Remix Name - Eclipse

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Raptor: Call of the Shadows - Level 6

The intro still sounded pretty good. The string attacks at :31 were more serviceable, along with some decent brass support, although the soundscape was still to swamped up during those fuller section.

The percussion at 1:07 was ok, but still felt a bit out of place. The new string work from 1:33 was ok. The volume effects from 1:38-1:43, didn't make much sense, with the last string writing from 1:41-1:42 sounding awkward. The brass samples first used at 1:43 sounded a bit flat. The strings at 2:24 were a bit jerky with the attacks but were serviceable. The acoustic guitar awkwardly cut out at 2:50.

Well, they say fools rush in, and I feel like you resubmitted too fast given the vast amount of criticisms last time. Use those forums like I mentioned last time, get feedback before you rush into hitting us with it again. You're still moving in the right direction, but the polish isn't quite there yet.

NO (resubmit)

[zircon]

Mixing is definitely better overall; I would be careful about using so many chords in the lower brass, as that by default is muddier. More chords in the upper octaves might help distribute the 'weight' of the chords better. I do like how you improved the writing to be less repetitive and more dynamic. Another noticeable improvement.

The drums don't really fit 100% right now though; sort of a hip hop style beat. I think some kind of acoustic or rock pattern might work a little better, but I'm not sure. Either way, a couple mixing things; the tambourine is mixed somewhat too loud, and the snare could be louder (but with less high end.) Try different things and see what works... WIP boards and the #ocrwip channel on IRC (irc.enterthegame.com) are good resources. Guitar is really nice throughout.

I think the main thing I would do here is layer both the percussion AND the melody/harmony up more to create a greater swell and climax before the end of the piece. Right now, you've got a solid groove and some good variations and writing on top, compared to the source. But as a standalone musical piece, it could be more interesting. Converting a later section into something heavier in terms of drums and maybe adding a synth solo w/ some electric rhythm guitar, for example, could help in that department. Maybe add a section with a new chord progression AND new drums/instruments.

As Larry said, you are definitely on the right track... do not be discouraged. Keep at it. Even if you don't have any ideas for this mix you can always apply them to the next.

NO

[DarkeSword]

OMG I used to play this game ALL THE TIME.

The drumbeat is right on; I think the hip-hop style works. The problem is that there's no strong bassline working in tandem with the beats to provide that strong base for the song to be built on. You need something meaty down there.

Anyway, :32 with the sustained brass and stabbing strings sounds really muffled. You need to EQ that to get some higher frequencies. The brass chords just aren't working; they sound too muddy. Make the chords more spread out across the octaves and turn down the volume.

I like the guitar, it adds a nice flair to the soundscape, but what's the deal with it cutting out like that near the end? Sounds sloppy.

This piece has a lot of mid-range sounds, but not enough high freq stuff (hence the muffliness), or enough low parts (hence the emptiness). Don't cut out your bassline so much, and try some new rhytms than just what's in the source.

NO