Dafydd

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About Dafydd

  • Rank
    Mascot Bio Project Co-Editor & Director
  • Birthday 05/30/1984

Profile Information

  • Gender Male
  • Location Sweden

Converted

  • Biography I'm a programmer now. Yay life
  • Real Name David Hesselbom
  • Occupation Code monkey

Artist Settings

  • Collaboration Status 2. Maybe; Depends on Circumstances
  • Software - Digital Audio Workstation (DAW) Reason
  1. OCR Mascot Bios - 20 more up for grabs!

    Well, that certainly took longer than I expected. It's not that I haven't had 5 minutes to spare here and there, it's that I needed more time to sit with this to actually figure out what it is I want fixed, and how.   I still don't feel certain about how to use colons and semicolons after all these years, so feel free to point out mistakes there.   In other news, I hereby claim Duck Hunt.
  2. OCR Mascot Bios - 20 more up for grabs!

    Thanks for laying it out for me, Polo. I'll get back to you really soon, sorry for the wait... In other news, 2 days ago, this thread turned 10 years old. As for the project, I'm not entirely sure, but it might be today!
  3. OCR Mascot Bios - 20 more up for grabs!

      Yeeeah, let's not.
  4. OCR Mascot Bios - 20 more up for grabs!

    I'm really, really sorry I've been gone for so long. Ugh life. Anyway,   One reason why I've taken so long is that something about this bio feels wrong, but it's been hard to pin down what it is. It "lacks flow", but I know that kind of remark is of no help to you. Content-wise, it's fine, but somehow, it feels like a number of facts being presented in sequence, but there's no story there. Also, the transition between the first and second paragraph is a little jarring, somewhy.   Since I can't seem to help you any further, if you don't agree with any of my concerns, feel free to upload it in the wiki.
  5. OCR Mascot Bios - 20 more up for grabs!

    No, I don't think Skull Kid needs changing, I just noticed now that I felt the ending didn't feel like an ending there either. Apparently I didn't mind it as much, back then.
  6. OCR Mascot Bios - 20 more up for grabs!

    Thanks for sticking with us, Chernabogue - I've marked you down as done, but I haven't uploaded anything yet.   It actually ends "Although the people of Termina, and Link himself, have reason to fear and hate the Skull Kid, his fairy friend Tatl maintains a different perspective. She believes that the mask completely possessed the forest imp, deepening the anger and loneliness he felt after some of his closest friends abandoned him one night and didn't come back." In that context, the last sentence isn't as depressing. Anyway, we both agree bios don't need to end happily, and I think what's actually bothering me is that it doesn't really feel like an ending (and neither does Skull Kid, now that I read it). An ellipsis instead of a period would make it feel different, but I'm not sure that's a good idea.
  7. OCR Mascot Bios - 20 more up for grabs!

    Haha, I see. Well, I still feel the same way about the bio. Maybe if you were to mention the city where the action takes place and something about the style of the game... Doesn't need to be long, only that he explores the city of Yokosuka and meets people ("He uses what few leads he has to track Lan Di [...], gaining clues from various people and locations", and reading that, I thought it was kinda deep for a fighting game, but I still thought that's what it was).   The sentence "Ryo could do nothing but hold Iwao in his arms as he died" feels short and somewhat unengaging in light of the ones surrounding it. Also, the ending is kind of depressing. Maybe it's not a bad thing. It's just that just about every bio we have so far (as far as I can remember) ends on a high note, and this doesn't.
  8. OCR Mascot Bios - 20 more up for grabs!

    The last sentence, although beginning with "Nonetheless", doesn't seem to contradict of the one before it. How about "Nonetheless, a trainer lucky enough to acquire [or is there a more suitable verb?] one can make Eevee the trump card of a powerful Pokémon team."? Polo, I'm a little short on time right now, but I'll get back to you about Ryo within 12 hours. For now, all I can say is I thought it was a Tekken character until the last paragraph, just because that's what I thought it was before I even started reading 
  9. OCR Mascot Bios - 20 more up for grabs!

    Arrow wrote me and said he wouldn't be able to finish Shulk. Given all we had so far was a rough draft, I've let it go back to unclaimed.   I haven't written Chernabogue yet, so I'll do that now. If he doesn't have time to do it in the next few days, I suggest we wrap it up ourselves - there's not a lot left to fix anyway.
  10. OCR Mascot Bios - 20 more up for grabs!

    Sure. I'll send one to Chernabogue, too, now that we've settled on the Eeveelution sentence. EDIT: Chernabogue said he'd be back in a few days, Arrow probably next week. EDIT2: Nothing so far. I'll send another PM after the weekend if I haven't heard anything by then.
  11. OCR Mascot Bios - 20 more up for grabs!

    Sorry for the long wait. I agree that simpler is better in this case, and about "name" being a better word than "denomination". This would be more accurate, though: "The group of resultant Pokémon in this unique Evolution tree have been given their* own name: Eeveelution." *[has been given its? Again, "Eeveelution" refers to both the group and any of the members in it]
  12. OCR Mascot Bios - 20 more up for grabs!

    I've been putting off answering this until I could come up with a better term, but Bulbapedia (which was listed as a source for the bio) writes that "An Eeveelution is a term used for the current group of eight Pokémon that evolve from Eevee. It is a portmanteau of the words "Eevee" and "evolution". Its definition may be extended to include Eevee itself." If I'm reading that right, the term doesn't refer to a process or a system, but to a group of Pokémon, and/or possibly to any of the 8 (or 9) Pokémon in that group. This is the only way "denomination" makes sense, too, I think - as a word for a group of something. The sentence starts out as if referring to the system of factors though, not the group of Pokémons. EDIT: Wait, maybe the original wording isn't so bad after all, then. The only issue is that "This interesting ramification" refers to the factors that determine the resulting Pokémon, not the Pokémon themselves, but if the sentence was changed to "The ramifications of this unique system have been given their own specific denomination: Eeveelution.", "ramifications" would still refer to the Pokémon, and stuff would check out. It might still not be very clear, though... Is this what was your intention, Chernabogue?
  13. OCR Mascot Bios - 20 more up for grabs!

    We went over this in a previous comment - this reads like a manual.
  14. This was bad-ass! I know you marked this as finished, but here's a few notes, maybe to keep in mind for your next ReMix, since you probably won't be making any changes to this thing: When you play the bass solo in the intro, you play Eb Bb Eb F Gb, but in the original it's Eb Eb2 Eb F Gb, i.e. an octave up from Eb, not a fifth, and I prefer the original in that respect. Also, in the part that at 0:58 to 1:10, you could make things more interesting by having the choir fade out to a much lower level during the first beat of the even measures, and then crescendo during the last beat of those measures to the point where they're louder than normal, like this: 0:58 G minor - choir at normal, static volume Db minor - choir drops in volume during beat 1, stays low for 2 beats and then crescendos during the last beat G minor - choir at normal, static volume Db minor - choir drops in volume during beat 1, stays low for 2 beats and then crescendos during the last beat 1:04 G minor - choir at normal, static volume Eb minor - choir drops in volume during beat 1, stays low for 2 beats and then crescendos during the last beat G minor - choir at normal, static volume Eb minor - choir drops in volume during beat 1, stays low for 2 beats and then crescendos during the last beat 1:14 or vary it up some other way. The guitar also ends very abruptly at 1:14. It would be cool if the last two notes it plays echo with 1/2 delay time, slowly decaying for 8 seconds or so as the bass plays its thing, until it going away completely a few seconds before the main theme kicks in again at 1:27. Personally, I would have preferred slightly louder drums.
  15. I miss the energy of the original, and the... trombone (?) thing isn't helping. The drums are pretty interesting though! Where is the screenshot from, say?