Chimpazilla Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 (edited) Contact Info: Remixer name: Maliris Real Name: Miikka Raatikainen Email: Submission Info: Game: Touhou 4 Lotus Land Story Name of arrangement: Black Apple Original Song: Bad Apple!! Edited October 28, 2015 by Liontamer closed decision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpazilla Posted September 4, 2015 Author Share Posted September 4, 2015 "Blue Monday" vibe right out of the gate. Drumming is stiff. Interesting ideas, machine-gun kick is a bit much in the intro... then the lead guitar starts, it's too loud and it is very obviously fake and very stiffly sequenced. Synth at 1:58 is very generic sounding. Starting at 2:15 the guitar sounds like it could be real. Right afterward though at 2:27, it's back to the fake stiffly-sequenced sample. Hhhmm. I feel like for this to work, that lead guitar needs to be reworked to sound more human, or possibly replaced with live playing. Adding a few melody variations to the lead writing would also help. Why does the track pan all the way to the left in the outro? NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonAvenger Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 In going to echo pretty much everything Kris has said so far. The parts are all sequenced very mechanically, which makes everything feel flakey here. The drums and lead guitar stick out the most here for that. Humanizing the parts will add a lot more character overall and add more tension to the parts. I'd also like to point out how repetitive some of the parts are. There's a lot that can be done to add small variations to the parts to keep the listener engaged. Even changing some of the rhythms will make a difference here. The key change was pretty abrupt as well and I'm not sure if it's adding much to the song. Consider making the lead up to the change stronger to emphasize it more. I'd suggest hitting up our WIP section of the forums to get some feedback on ways to improve further. Good luck! No (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutritious Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 Not much to add to the two great critiques above. I will say drums felt a bit flat on energy to me and way too repetitive. I also thing the synth parts used were a bit on the bland side tbh. The change at 3:27 didn't really do anything to add to the energy to the track and just felt like a slight change to what preceded it. Would like to hear this one get a production makeover on the sequencing and mixing as well as some work getting more energy/interest in the track (via dynamics, transitions like near the end, writing change ups, etc). NO resubmit, please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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