Gario Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Contact Information Your ReMixer name: Smooth4Lyfe Your real name: Joey Ofori Your email address: Your website: http://www.youtube.com/smooth4lyfe Your userid (number, not name): 33213 Submission Information Name of game(s) arranged: Yoshi's Story Name of arrangement: Yoshi's EDM Story Name of individual song(s) arranged: Yoshi's Story Theme Link to the original soundtrack: https://youtu.be/nghTrcPBp3s Your own comments about the mix, for example the inspiration behind it, how it was made, etc.: Love the theme, so I wanted to make a club/EDM variation of the track. I love EDM tracks. Smooth4Lyfe Email: Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/smooth4lyfemusic YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/smooth4lyfe CDBaby: http://www.cdbaby.com/artist/smooth4lyfe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindWanderer Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 I'm not sure I'd call this EDM. I'd have a hard time dancing to it, for sure. I normally don't have an issue with what genre a remixer chooses to identify their song as, but in this case, we have a chirpy, happy, laid-back song that's desperately trying to be EDM by including a few instruments--the supersaw, the FX samples, the acid bass, the sweeps, the claps, and the 808--that don't go with anything else. It works really well at being EDM from 1:53-2:15, and pretty well from 0:45-1:07, and really well at not being EDM from 0:00-0:17 and 2:15-end. The rest is a mish-mash that doesn't create a cohesive atmosphere. To phrase things a different way, without using genre labels, if this had simply been a happy, Yoshi-like arrangement that used a supersaw prominently at one point, it would get dinged for using a bland, generic synth for no apparent reason. I feel like this suffers from the same issue, but in a larger scale. Normally I wouldn't say that violating genre conventions would be a reason to send something back, but I don't think it works at all in this case. I don't have any other concerns, but that one issue is substantial. I'll think about this one and see what others have to say. Edit: Although he didn't agree with the way I expressed the issue, ultimately Gario did feel the same way I did about the supersaw and how it was used. I didn't pick up on the humanization issue, because of course EDM articulation and timing would be rigid, and that relates to the same thing: those instruments, used this way, in a piece like this, is just a mismatch all around. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gario Posted March 6, 2017 Author Share Posted March 6, 2017 This is a cute track - the SFX are fun, the production is crisp, and ultimately it takes the source in a different direction with those heavy 808 drums. The arrangement is a bit on the simplistic side, but I don't think it wears its welcome out by the end of it due to the short length so that's not too big an issue. Be careful with your variations, though, as when they more directly reflect your source it sounds stale and uninteresting (after the first repetition of this theme). Most of the time you do a pretty good job of varying it, though, so it doesn't hold my vote back much. I think I understand where MW is coming from on that supersaw, but I think it's important to look at it in a different light - the supersaw is very vanilla, has a portamento that just makes it sound out of tune, and ultimately sucks the fun out of any section that it's in, especially when it's used as a main instrument. Even if it were used in EDM it'd still be thin and uninteresting if left in the state it's in, so I don't think it counts as a mark against 'following genre convention'. It can be up to the other judges whether or not to count that as deal-breaking, but considering it's tough for me to sit through the track when that instrument is present I'm going to call it out as such. The sampled instruments (piano, flute, percussion) has a similar issue in that they don't sound humanized enough; as they stand, they sound dull and mechanical. Dynamics, attack envelopes, vibrato (flute), etc., can all help make those elements sound more realistic and interesting. Outside of the flute (which is a lead in many parts) it doesn't affect the piece too negatively, but it's something to be aware of. It's a cute piece, though. If that supersaw were either made more interesting or replaced with something less vanilla and downtuned I think this would be a fun little track to add to OCR. I suggest giving that instrument another look and humanizing the flute, then resending this our way. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jivemaster Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 Echoing what the others have mentioned regarding the saw starting at 0:23, which was very basic/bland and should be tweaked to make it less muffly. Interesting use of sound effects and game samples, although I felt they were heavily overused for the track's rather short duration - to the point where I feel the track relied upon them too much to hold interest. Some parts (such as at 1:31) don't feel quite right musically, likely due to the clash of the detuned saw the other instruments underneath. There is an odd mismatch of tones here that don't quite seem to work when the electronic instruments meet the acoustic instruments. Everything feels heavily quantised, which is good for electronic music but the mix of pianos and other parts lose realism as a result. For the arrangement as a whole - the rapid changes between different combinations of instruments are ok to begin with but become somewhat old quickly, with sections not being explored for very long before moving to the next section. The game samples have a negative impact here as well, making some sections too busy and clouding the listeners ability to appreciate the melodies that are playing. A few comments on the production side. There is not a lot of bass in your track. The main bass patch is quite low in the mix, not being overly audible. The kick could also do with a bit more low end. I noticed there were quite a few parts that feel quite centred in the mix and could be panned more (mainly a suggestion). There seems to be some holes in the frequency spectrum that are under-utilised across your mix, which instruments could occupy to fill out the sound scape. I don't mind the creativity here when it comes to the different sections that come into play, however I feel the arrangement overall is lacking. The mix is overly stiff, and the game samples and other effects make things feel repetitive. The saw synth is muffled and lacks energy. I feel some tweaks to these parts are needed to pull this mix over the line. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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