Darth GourryGN

- That shit was tha bomb - Yeah, a real blast

Dude. I friggin' loved that song from Evergrace. And now I think I'm going to track down Forever Kingdom as well.

Fuck you all to hell. This game will be awesome. Scratch that. It already is awesome and was awesome as soon as a drunk ass IGA drew the first stick figure game concept diagram on a cocktail napkin. Seriously, I have always wanted a Castlevania fighting game. Even before I knew about Castlevania. I don't see why people are pissed off. Are they scared that the series is going to become a miserable pile of SC wannabes? Also, Legacy of Darkness is the best 3D Castlevania game.

I think there may be hope for the world. The end is nigh. I played two licensed Disney games, and I enjoyed them both. This statement may tear a hole in the universe, but I found Hannah Montana Music Jam and Power Rangers Super Legends to be good games. I only played the music creating portion of the Hannah Montana game and I found it to be more enjoyable than Jam Sessions. There aren't a lot of chords to choose from, but you can play individual notes on the guitar and therefore play chords by playing the actual notes (suck on THAT, Jam Sessions). Rhythm guitar, lead guitar, bass guitar, and drums are the instruments you can play. Sadly, things just feel clunky when trying to make a song but mad drum solos can probably fix anything. On a less testicle destroying note, Power Rangers Super Legends is a fun, old school, side-scrolling beat-em-up. Frankly, the graphics look like they belong on the GBA (except for the 3d levels), the enemies are repetetive (pallette swap and slight sprite modifications, more hit points, etc), and the storyline (which involves time travel and whatnot) will make your brain bleed in pain what with the lame dialogue, paradoxes, and plot holes. And you can repeatedly uppercut enemies to the top screen and back down until they can no longer retain physical form. Nevertheless, if you like old-school brawlers, you should like Super Legends. It also has overhead shooter levels and first-person touchscreen giant robot battles, both of which use decent 3D graphics. And the music rocks like only the 16-bit era can.

Darn fool. Spacewar! was the peak of the game slope.

I've been playing some Japanese stylus-only action/rpg games lately and I am really hoping that companies start shoving it down our throats. Seriously. Zelda: Phantom Hourglass. Great. Getting great reviews. You know what you doing. A bit easy, but if this is where Nintendo goes with its "casual" focus, I approve. I hope it comes to the U.S. That would be awesome. Deltora Quest: Apparently it is based off an anime based off some Australian books that are popular in Japan. This game really reminds me of the Secret of Mana games, but you only use one character at a time (the other lazy asses stay at camp while you save the world, I guess), and they move as fast as the stylus. What? Yes. You can drag them around the screen or you can tap a spot and they run to it as fast as the frickin Flash. You attack by tapping and swiping at enemies. In an open area, you can pretty much run circles around enemies, unless you get poisoned, which slows you to mere mortal speed. Super speed actually becomes a detriment when you're on top of thousand foot tall trees, though, as you'll fall to your doom dramatically (lose some health) quite easily. The top screen shows a portrait of your character and in front of them there is some tadpole/squirrel hybrid creature running along an oscillating wave and when it gets to the crest of a wave you can hear the character breathe in and then exhale as the abomination runs down the wave. I guess there's some rhythm to the combat or something. There was this one part where the game had me draw something, and I didn't know what it was for, exactly, so I drew a chick with a scythe and wrote "death" on the bottom, and a bit later in the story (many years actually; the damn paper was floating in midair in one spot for YEARS and fell at just the right time) another character found it and broke down and cried. Hilarious. And if you're still reading this, I bet you're like, WTFN? I hope it comes to the U.S. Summon Night Twin Edge: Seireitachi no Jutsu! Uh, I mean Seireitachi no Kyoumei. Basic overhead dungeon crawling action that reminds me of an RTS but there's only two characters and using melee character sucks because you just stand there and trade blows. But the ranged character is fun because you can shoot enemies and when they come after you, you can run away and they're all like "Gonna get you, Blood! Gonna get you Blood!" and you're like "Can't catch me Crip! Can't catch me Crip!" And you can take pot shots while the melee dude shanks them with a massive sword of spunky anime hero +1. I find it more fun than the GBA Summon Night games due to the lack of random battles. May your enemies experience a slow painful death and their brood experience the same at the hands of your progeny. Peace. I'm out this piece. ╔╗╔═╦╗ ║╚╣║║╚╗ ╚═╩═╩═╝

Too bad about FASA. Mechwarrior games are awesome. Mechwarrior 2 was the best. I enjoyed outfitting my mech solely with jump jets and machine guns in Mechwarrior 2 Mercenaries because that game let you zoom around like a Gundam (so maybe I was playing it wrong) and with 8 machine guns you could chop off a leg in no time. I wish a port of MW2 to DS would happen. MechAssault is okay, but not the real deal.

I would totally throw down some crap. Language of outer space must be learned,

I've played the Japanese version of Jam sessions and it seems a little limited. It's just chords. I suppose that's enough for some people but I think that it should have chords AND individual notes AND the ability to record songs with both. Otherwise that toy shouldn't be more than $14.99 U.S. dollars. And it doesn't look like they are adding much for the new release. And there's a Disney game coming out that blows Jam Sessions away in terms of features. What! I played Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles Ring of Fates and it seems pretty good. You don't get to choose your own character but that's because of the increased focus on story. But I don't know Japanese so whatever. They added some interesting combat moves like grabbing enemies and somehow whaling on them with your sword while holding them above your head (or holding on from below if it is a flying enemy). And it is nice that there is no longer such a ridiculous delay between pressing the button and actually attacking. Was it possible to jump in the gamecube Crystal Chronicles? I don't remember, but you get to jump and do some platforming on the DS version. I liked the Gamecube version but from what I've played Ring of Fates may well be a lot better.

Glory Days 2 is pretty good. It's an excellent blend of action and strategy. Like a peanut butter and pickle sandwich. Pickles are always better when you get to control a slice directly and have some peanut butter.

I also find that the Hori screen protectors actually improve the feel of using the touchscreen. Exclamation Warriors. Control a power rangery sentai character with your voice? Sweet. Never coming to America? Figures. Kii~ick, paaa~nch!

Simple DS Series Vol. 18 The Soukou Kihei Gun Ground is a nice game. It is a clone of Front Mission: Gun Hazard (side scrolling customizable giant robot action). It's Japanese and will probably never come to the U.S. but side-scrolling giant robot action is a universal language. Games you bastards should be buying but aren't: Tank Beat Time Ace Freedom Wings Jet Impulse (import) As far as DS comfort goes, I find the best combination is DSlite stylus with DSnonanorexic. Also, beefing up the lite with a Hori armor thingy is makes it as thick as an original DS and increases comfort. "Hey, who asked you?" Bite me. Also, always use screen protection. There's no reason not to. Without it, one bad decision could create trouble down the line. Can you really trust all those styluses rubbing your touchscreen? Do you know where they've been? When they touch your touchscreen it's like you're touching it with everything that they've touched before. Think about it. Stay safe. And don't just let every smooth talker open up your clamshell and stick his stylus wherever.

If GRiMgRiMoiRe is so much better where's the GRiMgRiMoiRe thread? What! It's taking over this one? Odin Sphere is better! 11/10! Take THAT, people with differing opinions. HA. But I guess that doesn't mean Grim Grimoire can't also be awesome... since Vanillaware is awesome.

People, please. The song has a .

I made this monstrosity for my emblem. I hope I can make a better one on the mawiiokart.

It certainly does not suck. But it is not as awesome as it should be. The reloading somehow makes perfect sense but is completely asinine at the same time; you drag a clip across the touch screen which does not work well with the quick action. Aiming is fun as all you have to do is touch the dead, but still challenging as the dead men waddle and move making the headshots difficult. You can upgrade the guns. The game seems long for an on-rails shooter, and tends to drag a bit. But if you absolutely have to touch the dead, you sick freak, you'll ptobably be satisfied with it. I'm still waiting for DS Air/Jet Impulse (they better not decide to call it DS Air) to be released in the U.S., dammit Nintendo! That crap better have not been delayed till October or some crap. They better have been recording English dialogue or at least not remove the story completely or some crap. Or maybe it's cancelled. Jet Impulse kicks so much ass, I'm gonna go bust some skulls if they screwed it up. I'm gonna kick your ass, Reggie. Wryyyyy--ahem. Sorry for the outburst. I meant to say awooooooooooooo Whoa! Where'd that awesome shit come from? My DS? How'd you know GET THE HELL OUT OF MY MIND--I mean Yes, it did. Using a homebrew program called Colors. It even saves replays of your drawings. Also, it uses the pressure sensitivity of the DS touch screen. I did not know that the screen is sensitive like that, but touching the screen lightly makes a light stroke,etc. But maybe they're messing with me. The gremlins are in my brain and

But seriously, though. I've never heard/read anyone say anything about it being "hand animated" before. Why do you bring it up? I really like what they did. The puppetyness pleases me. If that's cheating, then fuck the rules.

I hope it's nothing like the GC version. That crap was unplayable. MKDS rules. But I hope there's snaking. Snaking makes the game fast and fun as hell. I hope there's snaking and you weaklings are left with no choice but to wallow in your rancid filth of suck. If there's an option to change the boost style so that you can turn off snaking I suppose that's okay but if there's no "make 'em wallow" option fjadnbigundsvjnb

I'm in the minority who don't see the DS Lite as an overall improvement. The brighter screens and longer battery life are nice, but the D-pad sucks, the size is too small, I'm not into the ipod look, those damn kids won't stop with their hip hop music and skatboarding, but I bought one (black is the only decent color so far) anyway. I would be glad to see another redesign. It's not like I would have to buy it. But I probably would. Also, that dirty stylus witch molestation game is coming out in Japan soon. Doki Doki Majo Shinpan (translation: WHAM! WHAM! Pound that Witch with Your Stylus For Great Justice). The website is hilarious: Are You Bad Person? ... Very Yes

Hit 'em when they ain't lookin'. Hit 'em in the junk. Hit 'em in the throat. Gouge the eyes. When they're down, kick kick KICK and DON'T STOP KICKING TILL YOU HEAR SOMETHING CRACK! Run like hell. Drink milk with calcium for healthy teeth and bones. None of that organic crap. The growth hormones will help. Your training is complete. - - - - - - INVOICE Supor Self Defense.......$99.95 Electronic Shipping and Handling....$9.95 Total...........$117.95

Did I mention that Transformers is awesome on DS? It is buggy as hell and has no real online mode, but it kicks ass. It has a Pokemon feel to it not just with the two different versions but in finding new vehicles to turn into which kicks ass because it changes the look and weapons of your robot. School bus? Sure. Funky Bus? Hell yeah, firing purple plasma balls. Anyone who is dying to make music on their DS should try NitroTracker. It is a tracker. I didn't really know anything about trackers but I thought it would be fun to try and figure it out. You can record samples using the DS microphone, which is all sorts of ear raping fun.

Odin Sphere is quite bitchin'. I don't mind the repetition. Everything just works so well. I love the thrill of farming and alchemy during battle.

Welcome to Darth GourryGN (GN:get naked? see page 334) Gaming Magazine of Terror that Nobody Ordered but Your Money Has Left Your Bank Account Anyway HAHAHAHA issue 3 1/3. For great justice, some games you should buy: Brothers in Arms DS is not too shabby. Of course it is short and has no online multiplayer and has a low framerate and stupid AI, but as far as WWII shooters on the DS go, it is the best (not that there is a lot to choose from). If you've played a WWII shooter, you know what to expect. I guess it is different from other Brothers in Arms games in that it is a third person shooter and you don't get to command anyone. If you like shooting stupid Nazis using good Metroid Prime Hunters style controls, and I think that's most sane people, then you'll like this game. Once again, it's very short (5-6 hours) though. Rating: 3.9 hand grenades (hey put the pin back in that one!) out of 5. Time Ace is a fun Star Fox 64 style game that professional game reviewers do not seem to like. It seems that like Freedom Wings (another DS budget flight game that I love), they all decided to play it for 15 minutes then review it. It is a budget game, but it is better than most full price DS games, so for $20 you can give professional game reviewers and companies that overcharge for crap the finger and get a fun game. The game throws a lot of enemies at you and has no slowdown at all (but with a relatively short draw distance, like StarFox Command), and I found the writing to be kind of funny. The game is a bit short, but shooters tend to be. Very fun game. Rating: "I am not a professional so that's why you can totally trust me" out of 7. Transformers for DS surprised me. From what I can tell I am sober, and it is shockingly not crap. I played the Decepticons version (yup, two versions of the game), and you basically get to run around GTA style, blowing crap up, finding new vehicles to scan and turn into, and picking up Autobyte (lol) grunts and beating them with their own comrades. You gain experience and level up from missions and killing enemies (or civilians). The game really reminds me of Grand Theft Auto III. You even have a meter in the top right hand corner of the screen showing the "threat level" that you pose, and the police have a few funny phrases ("We are under attack by a giant, uh, metal man. Please advise.") that they say. The game is fully voiced and the voice acting is good. Also you can pick up Autobots and use them as a club to beat other 'bots. I guess I already said that. It's fun. Rating: "I like hitting them with their own guys" out of AllSpark. I haven't played the online mode for Transformers yet, but there apparently is one, and track will be kept of which side is winning the war, I hear. I'm playing Zelda, and it looks nice. It's too bad it has to be the overhead viewpoint, because in my opinion it detracts from the visual side of things slightly. However, the stylus-only controls are really nice. Physically slashing at enemies is fun, and it has never been easier to throw rocks at people and chickens. A nice feature is the ability to write on the map. So you can vent frustrations by writing curse words on the locations that give you trouble. And I hope you like having a faerie saying "Hey, hey" at you, because it finds you... just kidding... or am I? And finally: This. Sounds like some nice features buried in some licensed crap. Why can't I get a nice music making game for my DS without it being in Japanese or completely imasculating or woefully lacking features or asinine or imasculating or exploding in your face and melting your hands or... *end communication*