The intro through to about 0:50 is really great, expect there's a noticeable acceleration throughout. Then I think you come in too strong, too early. The real climax of the form is at 1:10 when the harmony starts to move. This part is really strong, great bombastic playing, so I think it needs to be "built up to" a little more.
After that, it's nice when the dynamics come down. But the chordal sections at 1:30-48, then 2:08-2:22 don't really add to the arrangement - rather, they exhaust the listener's patience for that loud, bassy dynamic. If you lean on that bass E too much, it doesn't feel like the piece is going anywhere.
The quieter section at 2:22-3:00 is exactly what the piece needs more of - more contrast. Both in dynamics and harmony. You've got the parts for a great dramatic piano piece here, you just need to balance it a bit more, and make sure not to lose the melody in the faster, louder bits.