Where to start?
Well, making sense, lets start with the intro. It's original, and decent. Good job there.
After that we get the melody put on repeat for the remainder of the song.
Aside from some new harmonies, a drum beat, and a change in instruments, there isn't much different than the original. I was bored before 2:00 had passed, usually not a good sign.
My original feelings of this song for the OSV version was "It's not long enough." With this version my thoughts are "Please God, when will this song end?"
Good attempt, I'd say a 4/10 for being able to change the style.