The Coop

You've NEVER heard of R-Type? <wince><gasp> Oh my son, you have some research to do. Here's a list for ya... R-Types= This game on the Playstation contained arcade perfect versions of R-Type I & II Super R-Type= A SNES game that has a little of I & II, with new stuff thrown in for good measure. R-Type 3: The Third Lightning= A new episode in the series, this SNES game is one of the best shooters on the ol' SNES. R-Type Leo= a rare arcade shooter. Good luck finding this one to play. It's plays a little differently from most of the other R-Type games. R-Type Delta= a Playstation original, this episode features all polygonal enemies and backgrounds, rather than all sprites like the rest of the series. All these games are great in their own way. They all share similar play mechanics, but each offers challenges in their own right. R-Type 3 is being released on the Gameboy Advanced in a little while. How well it'll match up to the SNES version is yet to be seen. Now go forth and find these games my son... and experience gaming bliss.

How about the final boss in the original R-Type? You had only a couple seconds to hit it when the vine-like things parted, exposing the boss. Once they closed, it was a good twenty seconds or so before they'd open again. In the meantime, you have to avoid fast moving suicidal enemies trying to slam into your from above, below, the front and the back... all while dodging the indestructable spheres floating around. Doesn't that just spell fun?

Here's a fun one. Shub-Niggurath from Quake. I know, I know... once you figure out what you're supposed to do, it's so easy it's sad. But, until you figured it out, how many times did you die trying to blast that ugly bitch away?

I have a few to add. How about the final boss in Smash T.V.? If it weren't for unlimited continues in the Genesis version, I'd still be trying to get to the game's end. I'm suprized at how few, if any, bosses from arcade games have been mentioned. Well, here's the first... I think. The final boss from the game Hippodrome. A big, nasty bastard that simply DOES NOT FALL! There isn't enough money in the world to beat this prick. The game never came to a home system, so I'll probably never get to see that games ending. Now that I think about it, the last four or five characters in that game are nasty. Going from, in order, "Nasty", to "Really Nasty", to "Unfairly Nasty", to "Frustratingly Nasty", to ""FUCK OFF AND DIE YOU SON OF A --" nasty" (that one's the final boss ). In case you think I'm making this game up... http://www.klov.com/H/Hippodrome.html ... it was a simplistic fighter, but it was cool for its day (some cool character designs).

I don't know if he's been mentioned yet, but how about Mr. X in Streets of Rage 3? You have a time limit. You don't don't beat him within the time limit, games over. No redoes, no retries... just game over. You have to start from the beginning. As if that weren't enough, he NEVER stands still long enough to do any real damage to him. It'll get you cussin' up a storm in no time.

Must be nice to have gotten that far... I'm still stuck on stage 5 (where you go down that LONG tunnel with the cross beams that you can't seem to avoid hitting). I've been stuck there for about two years .

The final bosses of both Virtual On home games. If it wasn't the time limit that gave you BARELY enough time to beat the things, it was the major damage done by every attack. And if it wasn't either of those aspects, it was the fact that if you missed one opportunity to damage the boss, there wasn't enough time to left to kill the thing before it would self destruct and take you with it. Brutal... just brutal.

ooo... ooo... ooo... I got one. Zankuro from Samurai Shodown III. Big, cheap, did massive damage on one little hit, got back up after you beat him two rounds and was even cheaper, stronger and quick to swing than he was before. Not fair... nope, not fair.

Here goes my first review on OC Remix... I'm sorry, but I can't recommend this remix. Having heard the original quite a few times (and liking the original as well), I was curious to hear what Mellogear had done with it. I've listened to it this remix several times, and I have to wonder where this remix was intending to go. Parts of the beginning (namely the opening drums that start at 0:30) sound off a little... like there's a slight fade in for the drum sample and this throws the rhythm a bit out of wack. My other problems with this remix is that it never really seems to go anywhere. There's the opening rhythm, then another version of it at 1:01, then you're back at the beginning at 1:17. Another version of the opening at 1:32 comes in, then there's a small change around 2:10. The toy piano-like samples that start up at 2:18 definitely aren't in time with the rhythm behind it (again, there's a slight delay before the actual note comes in) and don't do any favors for the song sound-wise. When everything is going at 2:33, you've returned to the opening rhythm again. Now, I know the original song wasn't exactly filled with different sections and and multiple "verses", but this remix needs a body to the song... badly. It's just the same opening rhythm redone again and again. It would have been an improvement if the artist had added new material to break up the repeated uses of said opening rhythm. As it is now, it's just repeatative and uninteresting. Hate me if you will Mellogear (and I'm sure you're already telling me what to do with myself by now), but that's how I feel about this tune. Sorry about the long post, but I've always been of the mind set, "If you praise something, why do you praise it? If you dislike something, why do you dislike it?" when dealing with artwork (music, visual, etc.). And what's written above, is why I dislike it.

How 'bout ANY boss in Target Earth for the Genesis? The game itself was hard as a f*cking rock, but the bosses were just infuriating!

I'm kinda mixed (no pun intended) on this one. On the one hand, I do like the way it turned out. The mix of old C64 sounds and modern instrumentation works well. The rhytm created is steady, rich and well crafted. As a whole, it's a well done mix. On the other hand, I feel it's a bit too repeatative in that there isn't enough between the main rhythm before it starts up again. Some original material using the sounds and rhythms created within the remix, in my opinion, would have added greatly to the song. There's a strong rhythm here, and this tune nearly cries out to be taken into new ground, then brought back to the beat of the original song. Despite the negative paragraph being longer than the positive, this mix is a good one.

How about Akuma from Street Fighter Alpha 2, on 8 star difficulty, and getting to fight him without loosing a round? All I gotta say is GOOD-- F*CKING-- LUCK!!!!!!

Ooooh! Link me, damnit! I wanna see a picture of this guy. Your wish is my command... at least this time anyway http://www.emulationzone.org/sections/segaforever/sor/sor3/bk_sor.html or http://www.emulationzone.org/sections/segaforever/sor/sor3/moves/ash.html But friend, you ain't seen nothin' until you've seen this guy in motion... pointed toes and all . If you know how, emulate Bare Knuckles 3 and get a good laugh.

How about the fun boss at the end of Darklight Conflict? While it's not neccessarily a boss perse, it's still hard as balls. You complete the final mission, then you have to make a mad dash back to Earth, with about every remaining ship in the alien armada (who you were teamed up with up to that point to get rid of a "menace") chasing your ass down (if memory serves, it's a "now you get the honor of being blown to Hell"... kinda like the end of Einhander on PS1). You gotta make it back to see the end, or it's game over. And it's a long flight back because by the time you finish the final mission, you're out a special weapons and you're damaged big time (unless you use a cheat ). Oh... and Jedi Kirby? You're wrong about the funniest boss ever. That honor goes to the boss Ash from the Japanese version of Streets of Rage 3... the guy that was removed from the American version. If you've seen him, you know why .

PLEASE tell me your not including the version of Dracula from Castlevania II: Simon's quest. That version has to have been the easiet boss battle ever. All you gotta do is stand up against the ledge and throw constant Holy Waters. Drac moves right into them and as long as you keep throwing them, he's dead in about 20 seconds... if that long. He was a complete puss in that game and a complete anticlimactic fight considering the rest of the bosses in that game were harder.

But don't all game bosses have a pattern? This attack, followed by this attack, followed by this attack, and so on and so on. If it's not a flat out pattern, then it's clues that let you know the attack about to come... which lets you prepare for it and prepare to heal afterwards/avoid it/counter it/ whatever it. Some patterns are longer, some are shorter, but all bosses have a pattern (RPGs included). Whether they're recognized quickly or not at all, is another mater entirely.

You said, you had to gloat (WHAT?) You had to pat yourself on the back (WHAT?) You were proud of yourself out loud (WHAT?) You had to show everyone else up (WHAT?) You had to show off (WHAT?) You had to be special (WHAT?) Now what are you gonna do? (WHAT?) You gonna beat something else? (WHAT?) You gonna show off again? (WHAT?) You gonna take on another challenge? (WHAT?) You gonna try and prove you're better than everyone else? (WHAT?) You gonna keep pretending you're special? (WHAT?) You gonna wait to see how long I can keep this up? (WHAT?) You gonna wait to see how long I can keep going with this? (WHAT?) You gonna wait to see when I stop? (WHAT?) When I finish? (WHAT?) When I'm done? (WHAT?) When my rant's over? (WHAT?) When it's through? (WHAT?) When I finally shut up? (WHAT?) When I finally shut up? (WHAT?) I SAID, WHEN I FINALLY SHUT UP! Sorry everyone... it's quarter to three here, and I think I'm getting a little punchy. Anyway, played Castlevania 1 again... I think Deaths incarnation in that game just moved itself up a couple notches. Cuz if you don't have the boomerang, and the "III" symbol? You're f*cked...

How about the Water Dragon in Lunar: Eternal Blue on PS1? I've owned the game for over a year and I've been stuck there for eight months of it ! Or Ghaleon at the end of Lunar: The Silver Star Story on the Sega CD? On the PS1, he was a breeze compared to his first appearence on the Sega CD.

This one's open to all game catagories. Now, I'm not talking about a game who's control was so bad it made fighting/playing hard. I'm talking about a boss that was just plain nasty, viscious, could take a beating and dish one out, and took seeminly forever before the bastard/bitch (both sexes are covered here ) finally fell. For me, that honor goes to...... Mother Brain and Dark Force!!!!!! Mother Brain from Phantasy Star II was a complete bitch to beat. No matter how many times you hit her, no matter the strength of the magic cast, you got your ass kicked in a big, big way. Dark Force from Phantasy Star III gets the tying nod because of the exact same thing. It took forever to disable it's hands, just so you could start beating on its head... which was another battle in itself. While it was also a sh*t to beat to Phantasy Star IV and I, the third game had the nastiest version on it. Special honors go to Death from Castlevania I... GOD that was an unfair boss...