The Coop

Sure, I mentioned him before in one of his previous incarnations, but Death from the Castlevania series was harder than hell on the first game, and considerably easier in the games that followed... until I reached him in Castlevania: Lament if Innocence. Maybe it's just me, or perhaps I'm just being given a really bad series of algorithms with this game, but every single time I try and get close to him, I get hit with his "DIE!" attack that knocks you back some 1/2 - 2/3 of the platform you're standing on. And by the time I get close enough to hit him, I get hit by it again... and again... and again. Sure, I've gotten by that attack and battled Death with his "MINION!" exploding skulls that follow you around for a short while, and his multiple scythe attacks (the slash and the "boomerang" throw)... and I even got far enough to battle his dual "DEADLY TEMPEST" blast. But while I am proud to say I beat him... once... I gotta say that either my luck is just bad in how many times I get that "DIE!" attack, or the game hates me

Typhon. For those who don't know this guy, he's part of the last boss at the end of a Genesis game called Phelios. But it's the other part of that last boss that's a real pain in the ass. See, Typhon has a little pet demon. After you defeat Typhon who fires a pretty simple pattern, you get to face his demon pet. And oh what a fun fight it is. First, you can only hurt him by pegging him in the crotch. Odd spot, but it works. Also, you can only hurt his crotch, by using a fully charged blast from your sword... a blast that can only be used if you collected all the letters to spell out Phelios. So now you're fighting him. One attack just has him firing a steady stream of destructible bullets at you. You'll need a fully sword charge to blast a hole big enough for you to slip sideways through. You won't get to hit him much here, but some luck shots can be done. Then he attacks you with a second set up. He closes his wings, and them opens them for a series of tri shots that go forward in a spreading fashion. None of this is really hard to dodge, but trying to hit him gets old. The part that makes him hard as hell, is the fact that the longer the fight goes, the lower down on the screen he gets... until he's literally so close you can't move forward without dying by contact with him. You have to knock him back by crotch shots, but after a while, he's so close that you can't fire the full blast fast enough to really push him back. So eventually, he's in your face attacking with both forms of shots. Oh... and you best hope you get the two options to help out. If you should miss one, you may as well let him finish you off and try again to get both. Cuz you're pretty well dead otherwise. Fun game, but it's got a ramp up in the difficulty that's rather abrupt at the end.

Here's a game I literally have never beaten, and I've owned it since shortly after it came out. The reason isn't just the "bosses", but the game itself. In Road Rash for the Genesis, you have to go through five rounds, with five races in each round. Each round gets harder as you go along. Now, I've been on Round 5 with two races won, and three races yet to be qualified for I don't know how many years now. You have to get 4th place or higher to qualify, but the lead bikers are so insanely fast, it's not possible to catch them. And they obviously never crash into anything, because the leader board never seems to change. I have the fastest bike, the best handling, and I'm pretty good at the game. But there is no way to catch these guys even if it was a flat barren wasteland with no objects anywhere on the road. But it's not like that at all. See, you need the fastest bike to have any hope in winning, as the lead bikers have them... or bikes close to them. The terrain is seriously hilly with damn sharp turns and traffic going both ways constantly. You have to go fast, but in doing so, you get launched off hills into cars, trees, and bad landings that result in big wrecks... which usually eliminates any progress you may have made up to that point. It takes about ten wrecks for your bike to break and knock you out of the race, and those ten wrecks come mighty quick in Round 5. So besides having insanely fast lead bikers, you have to choose with Road Rash. Do you wanna go slow and not even finish in the single digits, or do you wanna haul ass and wreck constantly? You don't have a middle ground, as slowing down for hills and turns makes anyone you passed come flying up behind you and either pass you or knock you off your bike. It's a no win situation as far as I can tell.

I have a confession. I enjoy the Sonic games, and generally the bosses in the 2D ones are pretty easy to dispose of. However, there is one that I have trouble with. In Sonic Advance, there's a boss towards the end that consists of three tiers of rotating platforms stacked on top of each other, with Dr. Robotnick's orb sitting atop them. On the bottom of each of these platforms, is a laser that can be destroyed. All along the sides of these platforms, are spikes to nail you with if you don't jump on them at a good angle. Now, these three platforms come out as seemingly random times, pause, shoot at you, and then return. The object is to hop on these platforms and hit Robotnick's dome to damage him... and that's where I get screwed. For the ease at which I can get rid of all the other bosses, my timing always seems to be off on this boss. Either the plat forms are too close and I get hit by one, the damned laser on one of them comes out and gets me in mid jump, or I finally get on the damn thing and try to hit Robotnick's dome only to see I don't have enough momentum to make it all the way to said dome. It's a simple boss. It only takes like 8-10 hits to destroy it, and the laser can be destroyed so they don't pose a threat anymore... but damn if my sense of timing, or the random patterns this boss puts out with its platform movement, will ever allow me an easy win over it. I've beaten it and seen the end, but every single time, that boss is a major pain in the ass for me. It's almost disheartening

I little while ago I found a game at my local EB Games that I figured "what the hell" and bought. It's called Wonder By in Monster World. Oh sure, it's got bright and cutesy graphics with SD characters and big eyed monsters and such, but it's also got one of the nastiest final bosses. You begin with a robotic looking thing that you have to hit on it's front. As you do this, lasers occasionally drop down and ride along a series of rails and fire at you. Now, this part is rather easy. It's what comes next that it a complete bitch. If you destroy it's first half, everything goes nuts. A conveyor belt starts moving, pushing to either rapidly towards or away from the boss, two lasers are now always on the rails shooting at you, and now there's a buzz saw blade moving back and forth along the conveyor belt. If you touch the boss, laser cannons, buzz saw or get hit by the lasers, you loose health AND get bounced back... usually into one of the other objects moving around. Somehow, you have to hit the boss in the eye a bunch of times to kill it with your sword, but you're too busy getting bounced all around and pinned in place to even get the thing half way dead before you run out of potions and such to heal yourself. It's amazing how easy that little game is up until you reach that final boss.

you're a moron for even trying to talk here. no, i'm kidding, it's always cool to see a new face around here. Also, i'm another member of the illustrious nintendo faithfull, having been suckled on the NES, and eventually weened onto the SNES, the N64, and eventually onto the 'Cube. I think we need to start a "nintendo fanboy's only" club, and we could put a cool little icon in our sigs to show our allegiance. if i can get a few people to agree, we can start a thread about it in gendisc. w00t!!1 wtflol!!1 I believe that thread was already done. It was called "Why does everyone hate the Gamecube?". It drew fanboys from EVERYWHERE.

Sorry man. Once they're gone around here, them fuckers are gone for good, because by the time the other posters have gotten done using them for nefarious purposes... ... well, you won't want them back.

You could, but I would suggest waiting until the original thread has been deleted due to inactivity (takes a month of no one posting in a thread for that to happen). Otherwise, you'll be getting a fist full of flames in a very short amount of time for not only going over the same topic again, but for posting a new thread about it while your old thread is still going.

New tip. This one comes via example of our new OCR Roastie, myonlyomen. Don't make your very first thread about a particularly hot topic. Unless your arguement is well thought out and it's presented in a clear manner, it likely won't end well for you

As per Eradicate's Request. How NOT to have a political Discussion Do I even want to know what the request was behind the chubby faced kid's visage showing up? And that thread was OCR's version of a Friar's Club Roast.

You are too old, old man. You may think you is but you ain't down with the current slango. roofies - Strangly enough, a mental image of the Coop singing Da Roofies on fire!! will probably follow me to my dreams now. The Coop being represented by a dancing baby with a NWG face, that is. A dancing baby? I'm guessing the dancing baby was already in there from a previous dream, and now the music and NGW face are just add ons... ... which is a bit frightening.

On fire? Da roo... da roo... da roofies on fire!

And then at 2am PST, we'll all be having a sing along of Kumbaya, followed by Smores! ... **cough** Sorry. Way too much in the way of happy-happy joy-joy feelings here. Not good for my system in such high doses at this hour

Any moment now Mr. Roarke is going to come walking out with a "Velcome to Overclocked Remix" as a French midget next to him yells "DE NEWB! DE NEWB!".

Serious Sam. A series known for it's boss battles that you have to fight through hundreds of little beasties to encounter said bosses. And true to form, I found another one. In Serious Sam: Next Encounter, the second boss that you have to fight is basically a three headed worm. It starts out simple enough, with two heads going and back and forth with you. One head shoots spiked drills that stick in the ground and explode, while the other shoots lasers at you with two cannons. Once you start doing some damage, then things change a bit. A third head arrives. This one's a dragon-like head and it shoots triple fireballs at you. Now God help you if one of those fireballs hits you, because it does quite a chunk of damage to you, fast, as you burn. Now after you've battled that for a while, the other two heads come back... but now the laser head uses on cannon with a long stream of shots. Now the first two heads and the dragon-like head go back and forth with you for a while. If you survive a bit longer, all three heads start attacking you, with the dragon-like head firing a long stream of fire that covers a pretty good sized area. While all this is going on, there are large holes in the floor that should you fall in one, you die instantly in the lava below. Then you get start all over again. The battle with the three heads is hard enough, but the insta-death floor holes make it almost frustrating, as things get chaotic while you try to pay attention to where you are, where the drill spikes are, where the lasers are, and where the fire's headed. Yeah. Definitely a tough boss... much tougher than the final one that's for sure.

Ummm, first of it's LJU . Don't confuse him with DJP. He is a frequenter of Unmod with extremely Not Work Safe pictures in his sig (tubgirl/watermelons/naked women/etc) He writes as if he is drunk and his words always seemed garbled...a little too garbled. He begins threads that insult a certain group/culture/person/movie/etc and most of the time his threads get quite popular. He is also extremely witty and funny at times, which leads me to believe it is all an act. And once, once, in the old Post Your Picture thread, he claimed to be a girl, a claim that has yet to be proven. Little Janet Urine. Anyway, don't be afraid of UnMod. It's weird, stupid, funny, disgusting, controversial, lovable and personal all in one multi colored ball. We're not all lunatics running around with hatchets looking to behead anything. We'll, not before 7pm anyway. After that, all bets are off. Besides... you can only have so much fun in Gen Dis before posts/threads get deleted. UnMod give a bit more room to be... yourself. The choice is yours of course. But when you want to become a man... or a dribbling vegetable that's been traumatized once too often with images of the obscene and twisted... UnMod'll be waiting. Waiting... Waiting...

Greetings. I'm The Coop. Now before I use the Vulcan Mind Fuck on you and reduce you to a drooling, incoherent vegetable, here's a few things to keep in mind. I) Get a grasp on sarcasm. It's used a lot around here, and jumping the gun on someone when they're making a sarcastic comment that you think is their actual views and such, leads to a roast pretty quickly. II) Don't pick a fight. I know when you first show up on a board you wanna start a topic about something you like and just talk about it 'till the sun dies out. By all means, start a thread about it... but think first. Don't start a thread with an accusatory tone in your post like "Why do you hate FFVIII here?". That's not going to get any kind of discussion going, except possibly one about your mother and any habits she may or may not have. Instead, just post about what you wanna talk about, and give your thoughts on it in a calm fashion. Conversations start off a lot better that way. Oh... and don't do the "I wanna see what you guys think first" routine, as that's a cop out. If you wanna talk about something, then take part in it from the start. III) Remember that when things are being discussed, there are opinions mixed in with the facts... and at times, all a post is, is an opinion. It's good to let others know where you stand on a given topic, but don't shove your opinion down the throats of others like it's the only right opinion to have. We're all free thinkers here, and we all see things a bit differently thanks to the personal experiences we've all had in our lives. How we see a subject, is no more right or wrong than how you see it, as our opinions have been formed by what we've seen, heard, read, experienced and done... just like you. IV) Thunder Force IV is the best 16bit shooter out there. Just accept that V) Enter into a Religion debate at your own risk. Like Political debates, it's going to be flame filled as opinions are bashed and thrown about. If they start civil, count on them not staying that way. Food for thought. Hope this helps

Still working on Ragnarok. Lousy stinkin'... Anyway, I just got done with a fun filled swearing fest having finally reached the end of Unreal Tournament 2003. Now I had no problems getting through the game, as the various matches really weren't that hard. However, when you reach the end, then the game pulls a nifty little switch on you. Your final opponent is a man named Malcolm... and he cheats. A lot. Not so much as your start fighting him for the championship, but rather after he's been killed exactly 6 times. Once you score 6 on him, he goes into an apparent overdrive. He's almost always near where you revive after that, so he gets a fast and easy second kill on you. He can magically blast you point blank with a rocket launcher, and not die himself. He grabs nearly every weapon except for the weaker ones. He almost always get the power ups that appear about once a minute in the center of the arena. He pulls off shots that simply shouldn't have worked. Half the time, he seems to magically know where you are to fire some odd ricocheting shot. Now I know that things like the shield power up and the 100 health power up afford him some endurance, but he does this WITHOUT those things. God help you when he gets the double damage power up, because then you're just fucked. I mean, I had 150 health, plus the 100 shield... and he killed my character in one shot and he didn't have the double damage. No one else in the game can do this to your character, so that's pretty damn cheap. Oh. Before I finally beat that bastard about 15 minutes ago, I was ahead 9 to 2... but he still won. Nothing hurt him, and he pulled every trick I listed, including 4 kills from being right where my character materialized. Even Xan or whatever his name was from Quake III was fairer than that

You can almost hear Elton John's "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" ... almost

Quite a few months ago, my brother in law came up to visit with my sister, nephews and niece in tow. We were playing a lot of MechAssault on my X-Box, alternating back and forth between either deaths or missions. That was nearly a year and a half ago... and I'm still stuck. See, after getting through all those missions, I can to final hangar. That hangar opens up and out comes a new playmate... Ragnarok. He has PPC guns. He has Javalin missiles. He has a lava gun (ouch). He has a shield. He has enough armor to cover a third world country. And he chases you... methodically. A few shots from him, and the game is over. As such, you're reduced to running around a large plane and trying to pick him apart. Does this work? I don't know. The longest I've lasted against him is about ten minutes worth of circling and taking quick shots as he comes around part of the plane in the middle of the battle field. Add to that the turrets that help pick you apart, and you have a nice "OH JUST KILL ME!" session. I do know that fighting him in the open is death, and so is letting enough of him show from behind the plane. I don't know if my shots do any damage to his shield, but I know his shield always lasts longer than my Mech at least. I refuse to look at a faq to find out how to beat him. I've kicked some righteous ass through the single player campaign, and I know I can beat him. It's been nearly a year and a half. Classes are done for the most part. So help me, I will see the end of MechAssault. ... With my luck, there's something AFTER that pain in the ass

I have one. And I don't like this one. It's pissing me off. The end of chapter 2 of Painkiller. You're in the middle of a swamp. You're standing on a small patch of ground, surrounded by water that does damage to you if you step into it. Circling around you, is a big water monster, made up of that dirty swamp water. From time to time, it stops and launches a big dirty water bubble at you. If it hits, it hurts quite a bit... but that's stopped easily buy a shot gun blast. Another time it stops, it trusts it's arms into the water and a scorpion-like tail comes up and thwacks the ground where you're standing... doing more damage than the bubble. Relatively easy to dodge. The thing is, I have no clue where to damage that dirty watered bastard. I have shot every inch of that big shithead, tried every weapon I had, and I just can't find the weak spot. I thought it might have been the bubbles that rise up out of the water, but they never seem to break. I know this thing has a weakness, but damned if I've found it.

Taking a small trip across the pond, brings me another boss. While I didn't actually go anywhere, the game is a Japan only Mega Drive cart called Undeadline. The game itself is a good challenge, but the final boss is like hitting a sheer cliff in difficulty. After battling through the level and fighting a particular wizard for the second time, there's a big blast that vaporizes him and shatters the wall behind him. The screen starts scrolling up and your character starts running. Timed blasts start hitting on either side of you, pretty much keeping you in the middle of the screen. After a few seconds, you find out what's shooting those blasts. A rather good sized skeletal demon is sticking out from a large hole, an eye on each of it's hands, and it's those eyes that are shooting the blasts. Once the screen stops scrolling, the fun begins. You've got maybe a couple inches vertically and the width of the screen to move in. Not a lot of maneuvering space. The demon moves its arms around and the hands just follow you. There's no safe spot, and the blasts send out a small shockwave on the ground that hurts you just as much as a direct hit by the blasts. Each hand alternates firing, with about a two-second break between a give hand's shot, which doesn't give you much time to move around out of the way. If you manage to live long enough, and do enough damage, the demon adds a new attack that happens at the same time of the hand blasts... a showering of small shots that cover the width of the screen, guaranteeing a hit no matter where you are. What happens after that? I don't know, as I have yet to get beyond that second phase of attacking. All the while, you have three bars of life. Three hits, and you're dead... then you have to fight the wizard again and make your way back to the final boss. You have a shield to block the smaller shots, but it's useless against larger ones, and you can't shoot while using the shield. I don't know this final boss' name, as the game and manual are both in Japanese (oddly enough). But he's a tough shit regardless.

Have you ever run into a boss that seemed so hard and unfair, that it just drove you nuts trying to figure out what in God's name you were supposed to do the kill the damned thing? I encountered just such a boss with the final boss of R-Type Final. The bosses in the rest of the game aren't too hard. But the final one... You arrive at the boss after going though a somewhat odd stage with the silhouette of a man S-L-O-W-L-Y moving onto the silhouette of a woman. Eventually you come to a big boss that creates a vortex of spacew junk around itself and starts spewing space junk, space ships, etc. at you... and a lot of them. It has a few other attacks that it'll use against you as you try and battle this thing, but blowing up this first half is pretty simple for those that remember the first R-Type. If you last long enough, the game'll actually give a direct hint as to what to do to get past the first half. Then comes the second half. I don't know how many times I died on this thing experimenting with ideas on how I was supposed to kill it. At one point, I stayed alive for fifteen minutes while it did it's only attack... hurling patterns of your own fully powered bit (the thing that you can attach and detach from your ship), and these bits are indestructable. I learned alot about timing and dodging during my repeated battles with this boss phase... only to find out that the solution to beating it was painfully simple. I won't say how it's beaten, only that you have to be patient, and watch carefully. It was a boss like the final boss from Quake... you can't figure out how to beat the damned thing, only to realize later that it was a very simple solution in the end.

Anyone ever played a tough little game called The Adventures of Batman and Robin on the Sega Genesis? It wouldn't surprise me if few people ever have, as it was an insanely hard game from start to finish. Long levels, tough bosses, lots of enemies, and firepower that was a bit underwhelming. I was playing through that profanity inducing game yesterday for fun, and one boss stood out... the level three boss from The Mad Hatter's level. At the end of this level, you're faced (no pun) with a HUGE face of the Cheshire Cat. With a pair of claaws that move around and nail you, it also shoots out of it's eyes. This doesn't sound like much, but when you play it, it's always moving pretty quickly... making you always on the run dodging shots and the claws while trying just to get off a shot or two at it. This thing take a long... long time to kill. So long in fact, that chances are you'll never last long enough to actually kill it. I did once... once. I've never done it again. It's such a simple thing with not that many attacks, but it sure as hell is hard.