The Coop

You are too old, old man. You may think you is but you ain't down with the current slango. roofies - Strangly enough, a mental image of the Coop singing Da Roofies on fire!! will probably follow me to my dreams now. The Coop being represented by a dancing baby with a NWG face, that is. A dancing baby? I'm guessing the dancing baby was already in there from a previous dream, and now the music and NGW face are just add ons... ... which is a bit frightening.

On fire? Da roo... da roo... da roofies on fire!

And then at 2am PST, we'll all be having a sing along of Kumbaya, followed by Smores! ... **cough** Sorry. Way too much in the way of happy-happy joy-joy feelings here. Not good for my system in such high doses at this hour

Any moment now Mr. Roarke is going to come walking out with a "Velcome to Overclocked Remix" as a French midget next to him yells "DE NEWB! DE NEWB!".

Serious Sam. A series known for it's boss battles that you have to fight through hundreds of little beasties to encounter said bosses. And true to form, I found another one. In Serious Sam: Next Encounter, the second boss that you have to fight is basically a three headed worm. It starts out simple enough, with two heads going and back and forth with you. One head shoots spiked drills that stick in the ground and explode, while the other shoots lasers at you with two cannons. Once you start doing some damage, then things change a bit. A third head arrives. This one's a dragon-like head and it shoots triple fireballs at you. Now God help you if one of those fireballs hits you, because it does quite a chunk of damage to you, fast, as you burn. Now after you've battled that for a while, the other two heads come back... but now the laser head uses on cannon with a long stream of shots. Now the first two heads and the dragon-like head go back and forth with you for a while. If you survive a bit longer, all three heads start attacking you, with the dragon-like head firing a long stream of fire that covers a pretty good sized area. While all this is going on, there are large holes in the floor that should you fall in one, you die instantly in the lava below. Then you get start all over again. The battle with the three heads is hard enough, but the insta-death floor holes make it almost frustrating, as things get chaotic while you try to pay attention to where you are, where the drill spikes are, where the lasers are, and where the fire's headed. Yeah. Definitely a tough boss... much tougher than the final one that's for sure.

Ummm, first of it's LJU . Don't confuse him with DJP. He is a frequenter of Unmod with extremely Not Work Safe pictures in his sig (tubgirl/watermelons/naked women/etc) He writes as if he is drunk and his words always seemed garbled...a little too garbled. He begins threads that insult a certain group/culture/person/movie/etc and most of the time his threads get quite popular. He is also extremely witty and funny at times, which leads me to believe it is all an act. And once, once, in the old Post Your Picture thread, he claimed to be a girl, a claim that has yet to be proven. Little Janet Urine. Anyway, don't be afraid of UnMod. It's weird, stupid, funny, disgusting, controversial, lovable and personal all in one multi colored ball. We're not all lunatics running around with hatchets looking to behead anything. We'll, not before 7pm anyway. After that, all bets are off. Besides... you can only have so much fun in Gen Dis before posts/threads get deleted. UnMod give a bit more room to be... yourself. The choice is yours of course. But when you want to become a man... or a dribbling vegetable that's been traumatized once too often with images of the obscene and twisted... UnMod'll be waiting. Waiting... Waiting...

Greetings. I'm The Coop. Now before I use the Vulcan Mind Fuck on you and reduce you to a drooling, incoherent vegetable, here's a few things to keep in mind. I) Get a grasp on sarcasm. It's used a lot around here, and jumping the gun on someone when they're making a sarcastic comment that you think is their actual views and such, leads to a roast pretty quickly. II) Don't pick a fight. I know when you first show up on a board you wanna start a topic about something you like and just talk about it 'till the sun dies out. By all means, start a thread about it... but think first. Don't start a thread with an accusatory tone in your post like "Why do you hate FFVIII here?". That's not going to get any kind of discussion going, except possibly one about your mother and any habits she may or may not have. Instead, just post about what you wanna talk about, and give your thoughts on it in a calm fashion. Conversations start off a lot better that way. Oh... and don't do the "I wanna see what you guys think first" routine, as that's a cop out. If you wanna talk about something, then take part in it from the start. III) Remember that when things are being discussed, there are opinions mixed in with the facts... and at times, all a post is, is an opinion. It's good to let others know where you stand on a given topic, but don't shove your opinion down the throats of others like it's the only right opinion to have. We're all free thinkers here, and we all see things a bit differently thanks to the personal experiences we've all had in our lives. How we see a subject, is no more right or wrong than how you see it, as our opinions have been formed by what we've seen, heard, read, experienced and done... just like you. IV) Thunder Force IV is the best 16bit shooter out there. Just accept that V) Enter into a Religion debate at your own risk. Like Political debates, it's going to be flame filled as opinions are bashed and thrown about. If they start civil, count on them not staying that way. Food for thought. Hope this helps

Still working on Ragnarok. Lousy stinkin'... Anyway, I just got done with a fun filled swearing fest having finally reached the end of Unreal Tournament 2003. Now I had no problems getting through the game, as the various matches really weren't that hard. However, when you reach the end, then the game pulls a nifty little switch on you. Your final opponent is a man named Malcolm... and he cheats. A lot. Not so much as your start fighting him for the championship, but rather after he's been killed exactly 6 times. Once you score 6 on him, he goes into an apparent overdrive. He's almost always near where you revive after that, so he gets a fast and easy second kill on you. He can magically blast you point blank with a rocket launcher, and not die himself. He grabs nearly every weapon except for the weaker ones. He almost always get the power ups that appear about once a minute in the center of the arena. He pulls off shots that simply shouldn't have worked. Half the time, he seems to magically know where you are to fire some odd ricocheting shot. Now I know that things like the shield power up and the 100 health power up afford him some endurance, but he does this WITHOUT those things. God help you when he gets the double damage power up, because then you're just fucked. I mean, I had 150 health, plus the 100 shield... and he killed my character in one shot and he didn't have the double damage. No one else in the game can do this to your character, so that's pretty damn cheap. Oh. Before I finally beat that bastard about 15 minutes ago, I was ahead 9 to 2... but he still won. Nothing hurt him, and he pulled every trick I listed, including 4 kills from being right where my character materialized. Even Xan or whatever his name was from Quake III was fairer than that

You can almost hear Elton John's "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" ... almost

Quite a few months ago, my brother in law came up to visit with my sister, nephews and niece in tow. We were playing a lot of MechAssault on my X-Box, alternating back and forth between either deaths or missions. That was nearly a year and a half ago... and I'm still stuck. See, after getting through all those missions, I can to final hangar. That hangar opens up and out comes a new playmate... Ragnarok. He has PPC guns. He has Javalin missiles. He has a lava gun (ouch). He has a shield. He has enough armor to cover a third world country. And he chases you... methodically. A few shots from him, and the game is over. As such, you're reduced to running around a large plane and trying to pick him apart. Does this work? I don't know. The longest I've lasted against him is about ten minutes worth of circling and taking quick shots as he comes around part of the plane in the middle of the battle field. Add to that the turrets that help pick you apart, and you have a nice "OH JUST KILL ME!" session. I do know that fighting him in the open is death, and so is letting enough of him show from behind the plane. I don't know if my shots do any damage to his shield, but I know his shield always lasts longer than my Mech at least. I refuse to look at a faq to find out how to beat him. I've kicked some righteous ass through the single player campaign, and I know I can beat him. It's been nearly a year and a half. Classes are done for the most part. So help me, I will see the end of MechAssault. ... With my luck, there's something AFTER that pain in the ass

I have one. And I don't like this one. It's pissing me off. The end of chapter 2 of Painkiller. You're in the middle of a swamp. You're standing on a small patch of ground, surrounded by water that does damage to you if you step into it. Circling around you, is a big water monster, made up of that dirty swamp water. From time to time, it stops and launches a big dirty water bubble at you. If it hits, it hurts quite a bit... but that's stopped easily buy a shot gun blast. Another time it stops, it trusts it's arms into the water and a scorpion-like tail comes up and thwacks the ground where you're standing... doing more damage than the bubble. Relatively easy to dodge. The thing is, I have no clue where to damage that dirty watered bastard. I have shot every inch of that big shithead, tried every weapon I had, and I just can't find the weak spot. I thought it might have been the bubbles that rise up out of the water, but they never seem to break. I know this thing has a weakness, but damned if I've found it.

Taking a small trip across the pond, brings me another boss. While I didn't actually go anywhere, the game is a Japan only Mega Drive cart called Undeadline. The game itself is a good challenge, but the final boss is like hitting a sheer cliff in difficulty. After battling through the level and fighting a particular wizard for the second time, there's a big blast that vaporizes him and shatters the wall behind him. The screen starts scrolling up and your character starts running. Timed blasts start hitting on either side of you, pretty much keeping you in the middle of the screen. After a few seconds, you find out what's shooting those blasts. A rather good sized skeletal demon is sticking out from a large hole, an eye on each of it's hands, and it's those eyes that are shooting the blasts. Once the screen stops scrolling, the fun begins. You've got maybe a couple inches vertically and the width of the screen to move in. Not a lot of maneuvering space. The demon moves its arms around and the hands just follow you. There's no safe spot, and the blasts send out a small shockwave on the ground that hurts you just as much as a direct hit by the blasts. Each hand alternates firing, with about a two-second break between a give hand's shot, which doesn't give you much time to move around out of the way. If you manage to live long enough, and do enough damage, the demon adds a new attack that happens at the same time of the hand blasts... a showering of small shots that cover the width of the screen, guaranteeing a hit no matter where you are. What happens after that? I don't know, as I have yet to get beyond that second phase of attacking. All the while, you have three bars of life. Three hits, and you're dead... then you have to fight the wizard again and make your way back to the final boss. You have a shield to block the smaller shots, but it's useless against larger ones, and you can't shoot while using the shield. I don't know this final boss' name, as the game and manual are both in Japanese (oddly enough). But he's a tough shit regardless.

Have you ever run into a boss that seemed so hard and unfair, that it just drove you nuts trying to figure out what in God's name you were supposed to do the kill the damned thing? I encountered just such a boss with the final boss of R-Type Final. The bosses in the rest of the game aren't too hard. But the final one... You arrive at the boss after going though a somewhat odd stage with the silhouette of a man S-L-O-W-L-Y moving onto the silhouette of a woman. Eventually you come to a big boss that creates a vortex of spacew junk around itself and starts spewing space junk, space ships, etc. at you... and a lot of them. It has a few other attacks that it'll use against you as you try and battle this thing, but blowing up this first half is pretty simple for those that remember the first R-Type. If you last long enough, the game'll actually give a direct hint as to what to do to get past the first half. Then comes the second half. I don't know how many times I died on this thing experimenting with ideas on how I was supposed to kill it. At one point, I stayed alive for fifteen minutes while it did it's only attack... hurling patterns of your own fully powered bit (the thing that you can attach and detach from your ship), and these bits are indestructable. I learned alot about timing and dodging during my repeated battles with this boss phase... only to find out that the solution to beating it was painfully simple. I won't say how it's beaten, only that you have to be patient, and watch carefully. It was a boss like the final boss from Quake... you can't figure out how to beat the damned thing, only to realize later that it was a very simple solution in the end.

Anyone ever played a tough little game called The Adventures of Batman and Robin on the Sega Genesis? It wouldn't surprise me if few people ever have, as it was an insanely hard game from start to finish. Long levels, tough bosses, lots of enemies, and firepower that was a bit underwhelming. I was playing through that profanity inducing game yesterday for fun, and one boss stood out... the level three boss from The Mad Hatter's level. At the end of this level, you're faced (no pun) with a HUGE face of the Cheshire Cat. With a pair of claaws that move around and nail you, it also shoots out of it's eyes. This doesn't sound like much, but when you play it, it's always moving pretty quickly... making you always on the run dodging shots and the claws while trying just to get off a shot or two at it. This thing take a long... long time to kill. So long in fact, that chances are you'll never last long enough to actually kill it. I did once... once. I've never done it again. It's such a simple thing with not that many attacks, but it sure as hell is hard.

I would have enjoyed the show more if RealAlt hadn't fucked my computer like a 2-bit whore I won't be trying that program again. It actually made the original Real Player unusable, AND it somehow messed AIM up. It's an abomination... much like that track Paige tricked Larry into playing. Anyway, cool shows Larry. I won't be around for the one tonight though. So you can celebrate that at least

Cool beans Larry. Now just keep those clumsy twits away from the cable

I have found a new boss... and I hate the son-of-a-bitch I rented Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance II last week. There's a boss in there, who is absolutely, incomprehensively cheap, cold hearted and nearly impossible to kill... and this persons name is Mordoc. After fighting through the Onyx tower levels, you have to fight Mordoc's number one thrall. That person is enough of a pain in the ass, but I found an interesting glitch that let me get past him without having to retry too many times. I saved the game and marched on into the shadow realm to fight Mordoc himself. I'm thinking I should have just left the prick alone. I got in there, he gave a short speech, and then proceded to bring the flagstone floor of that realm to a bright and wax build up free shine with my ass. I never once got the bastard down to half a bar of life. In the middle of the battle area in the Onyx heart (if I recall the name correctly). This thing is a great distraction as my character would keep pointing at it whenever I tried to use the crossbow I had... which made that tactic pointless. So, I equipped my morning stars and proceeded to run in circles with Mordoc as I tried to damage him. Now, as you fight, he keeps conjuring up a shadow image of himself... which heals his real body once every 7 seconds or there abouts. So, you have to run and destroy it. Ass you do, Mordocs real body beat the holy hell out of you, while the shadow heals Mordoc or any damage you did. While all this is going on, you keep getting a slo-mo spell cast on you which makes you swings take forever to connect and your running painfully slow... giving Mordoc all the time he needs to beat you into a mooshy paste. Add to this, that the melee attacks only seem to hit one out of every four swings, and what you have is simple an AI character whooping your sorry leveled up ass. As much as I wanna rent the game again so I can beat Mordoc, I'm not sure those around me can take anymore barrages of swearing

I can't remember which game it's from, but in one of the Serious Sam games, there's a boss in there that belongs in the list of bosses posted in here. As you battle your way through one of the stages, you eventually get locked in a large open arena. What forms in front of you, is a small, blood red whirlwind-like monster. Now he's not alone, because other monsters from the game get formed along with him, and no matter how many of them you kill, more are transported in so that you never run out of other things besides the boss to fight. Now, even that's not so bad. What gets bad is the little whirlwinds this boss makes. They can throw you WAY into the air, and the longer you last in this fight, the higher they can throw you and the more often you'll get whipped around by these things. Needless to say, when you hit the ground, you take damage, so that's always nice. Now, as the boss is making these little whirlwinds, he slowly gets bigger and bigger as you damage him... making him take up more and more of the arena and making it harder for you to dodge your way around him, the small whirlwinds and the other monsters that are being fed via a steady stream into this arena. I lost so many times on that boss... even more so than the final bosses of the series.

Anybody still have a 32X in their house? How many of you have the game Shadow Squadron? Okay. Your three listen up, as you know of what I speak. The final Stage in the game is basically one long boss battle. You star out far away from the core, when two sets of rings comes away from the core. One ring moves out quicker than the other. There's 8 pieces in each ring, and in the middle of these pieces is a spot you have to shoot repeatedly to make that part of the ring explode. While you're doing this, any piece of the ring that you're in front of if firing bursts of four shots at you. When you destroy the outer ring, you have to do the same thing to the inner ring. Once both rings are gone, you have to hit several spots on the core that were activiated by the destruction of the inner ring. These spots also fire at you. Add to all this, that you're trying to do it quickly with a thurst meter that runs out after a short amount of time and you have to wait for it to recharge. OH YEAH! I forgot something. You have a set amount of time to blow all this up, or the core fires one big mother of a shot and your game is over right there. I believe it's 6-8 minutes. So you gotta move fast, not get the living piss shot out of you and hope that when you get to the final level you got full shields... cuz you only get so much shield recharge between levels. Oh yeah. It's a challenge.

Death in the original CV: HOLY WATER, DUMBASS! The only boss in that game I haven't beaten without being touched is Dracula. Also, he's one of the few bosses that won't get owned by holy water. ... Wait, is this that SAME hardest boss thread? Oh God, it is! Why's it still here? <sigh> Calm down, I know about the holy water's legendary cheapness. I was referring to Death without the holy water (I try to avoid using it if I can). As for Dracula, he gets owned by the whip, which is sad, and he just gets sadder with every incarnation. Notice he hasn't even been in the past couple of CV games. Poor guy probably can't handle the bad publicity of being a pansy. Wait... Are you talking about death in the first CV game? Cuz the only weapon that's ever been worth a damn against him is a Boomerang with a "III" icon. He never comes low enough for the Holy Water to him when I've fought him. Now Dracula in CV II... HE'S pathetically suseptable to Holy Water and the whip at the end (five seconds and he's dead). But Death in CV I?

I don't believe I've ever brought this final boss up. And frankly, I'm rather surprised I didn't. In the game Steel Empire for the Genesis, there are a few bosses that give you a good challenge. But it's the final boss that takes the cake in that game. After fighting it's capsule form for a while (which is a fun battle to begin with), you then decent to the moon's surface to fight it's second form. It's much smaller, with slowly drifting asteroids that deflect you shots and offer it some cover... but none of that means it's a puss. Far from it. This bass has several attack patterns that change as you do more damage to it, and by far the hardest pattern in the final one... because there's no place to hide from it. That's right, the whole screen from top to bottom is covered by repeated waves for fire energy that it fires once every two seconds. They damage you. There are no safe spots. They come faster as faster as you continue to damage it. And if all that isn't enough, the only thing you can use to NOT take damage is a bomb... which you only have a few of by the time to get to the end, and they don't do a whole helluvalot of damage when you can use them. You have to hope you have enough ships in reserve to out last it... and that's a lot of ships. I love shooters, and that boss is one of the hardest I've come up against in a shooter.

By a show of hands, how many here have played Beast Wrestler on the Genesis? **counts** Okay. Then both of you know what I'm going to talk about. The final boss is a little hard to figure out, not because of any complicated play mechanics, but because timing is everything with him. The problem is, the he seems to defy all notions of "you gotta be fast enough to beat him". Allow me to explain. The final character you fight in this odd fighting/wrestling game filled with genetic monsters, is named Blenyd. With stats that are nearly maxxed out, he's strong, fast and has some nasty moves that he loves to use on you. There's no timing that I've found that's fast enough to pull off your move over his whenever you grapple with him. His move is almost always done (and it's usually a biting move or a nasty pile driver-like move). You can't sneak up behind him, and even his punches seem to have a longer reach than yours. Trying to get three falls on him is a big challenge and frankly, you need luck. Because the CPU wins 95% of the grapples and does a move on your monster. He's hard, fast, dare I say cheap (just how fast do I have to press the buttons to be faster than him in a grapple?), and definitely a hard boss.

I have found a new hatred... one which I thought I couldn't actually possess. Ever played a lovely game called Guilty Gear X? No? Don't. Unless you want to be filled with rage, don't play this game. The final three bosses are absolutely THE cheapest sonsabitches you will ever have the misfortune of coming across. Some ass named Testament, some dude with his eyes wrapped up, and an S&M demon chick named Dizzy await you for fights 8, 9 and 10, and they use the cheapest tactics. Three hit combos that will take two-thirds of your bar off. Ground attacks that knock you out of the air. Attacks that constantly get used and keep you at least half a screen away from your opponent 90% of the time. Special attacks that they seem to be able to pull off while they're in THE MIDDLE OF DOING A DIFFERENT MOVE!!!!!! You can't jump in, cuz you get hit. You can't stop blocking, because you get hit. You can't just stand and block, because their hits still do noticable damage even when blocked. Shoa Kahn wasn't as big a shit as these three characters. Rugal in the KoF series could learn a few things from GGX's cheap pricks it calls bosses.

Can I make a request if it's not too late? I know I missed the last couple shows (don't ya love big class assignments that take over your life for days on end?), but I'll be there for the final one. I refuse to miss it. If there's still room somewhere in the show, could you give this MP3 a spin? http://www.vgmix.com/song_view.php?song_id=459 Yeah, that same song is here on OCR too, but the VGMix one is louder, cleaner and a bit more refined EQ wise. If you got the space in the show, cool and thanks. What? Someone's gotta pimp my remixes