HoboKa Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 http://www.tindeck.com/audio/my/kqdz/Hearts-of-Bramble_verA1 As far as my remixes go, this is probably the closest I've gotten to being near 100% cogent. It's a dancie, somewhat jazzy re-take of the original, which was originally gonna have lyrics...but well, my lyrical skills suck and my singing could probably make Hiroshima blow up a second time. BUT since I love you OCR jews, I decided to post my horrendous lyrics here, so that you can laugh and vomit on them ...just try not to soil your keyboards too much eh Porn does that enough as it is, I'd bet. Pricked by the brambles of your heart. So cold and so sharp Pricked by the brambles of your heart So cold and so sharp Pricked by the brambles of your heart So cold - and so sharp Middle section (probably the tougher part) Bar 33 - 47 Time 1:25 - 2:02 Feel free to choose your own timing here, but try to ensure that it stays on tempo (and on key ;-D ) Your heart of brambles, Is sharp as knives; as it is cold as ice You destroy and plunder all, You’re the catalyst to my fall So cold and so sharp, Your heart, black as the night. So cold and so sharp, There is nothing in your heart, but thorns and scorn. And repeat a line or two if there's room. I'm not sure if this is good. Forgive my ignorance in writing lyrics, but let me know if this works or not. RAP SKIT AT BAR 63 2:45 - 3:28 A.K.A. BAR 63 - 79 Krool man: your blood’s cold as ice Hell, you're anything but nice. For, Killing primates is your game, Which is kinda lame. Trice fold, this game's been done, It’s harder with each one. Yo, K-Fool - I vow that one day, I'll put an end to your maniacal reign. Dude, you’re such a playa hata Hell, you make Dick Chainee seem benevolent, ya cold-blooded slaya. Damned Malevolent and twisted, Your heart’s cold as ice and sharp as thorns, alli-gatta Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted October 31, 2008 Author Share Posted October 31, 2008 BTW, the filter effect for the volume automation is fucked up...gotta fix that, sorry about that guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spakku Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 BTW, the filter effect for the volume automation is fucked up...gotta fix that, sorry about that guys. If that's what causes the sudden burst and disappearance of sound in the first second, you already know my first issue. Although, now you know it either way. I'm not liking what-sounds-to-me-like-a-snare-drum-but-probably-isn't-meant-to-be hitting at completely the wrong time in spots. It adheres to the rest of the track most of the time, but during the middle it gets bad. And, I'm not really sure how to phrase this, but your electronic-sounding samples I think should be changed. Go ahead and keep the sound, but get a different recording of it, or something. As in, the arrangement's not the problem but the individual electronic sounds don't sound good. I hope you can get through my (no-doubt wretched) vocabulary and syntax up there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted October 31, 2008 Author Share Posted October 31, 2008 yeah, still working on that whole sound design thing. As for the middle, it's actually right, but it's a jazz style of drumming, so that's probably why it's throwing you off; from D&B to jazz doesn't make a good transition i guess lol. As for the electronic samples I'll see what I can do. And yes, it's a real snare drum, I can give you the sample if you need it for proof - it probably sounds awkward since its layered by another one. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spakku Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 It's not that it sounds weird for a snare drum, it's just that whenever I think I hear a snare drum somebody always corrects me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted November 1, 2008 Author Share Posted November 1, 2008 http://www.tindeck.com/audio/my/kpaw/Hearts-of-Bramble_verA33 nice, getting lots of views and DL's just poor ole Spakku's commenting though. lol. Well, thanks for the input anyways Spakky. Got the update up, enjoy ^^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozovian Posted November 4, 2008 Share Posted November 4, 2008 The drums come in a little funny. Working on what notes to emphasize might be a good idea. I like the drum rhythm you get going once the melody comes in, tho I would like to hear some more left-hand piano writing there, even if it's just chords and little embellishments. It also gets kind'a repetitive, esp. the second half. If you'd step away from the idea of the lyrics, you might be able to make this into something worth submitting. And it's got some weird panning and frequency balance things. Dunno how you manage to get your tracks so muddy sounding, there's some mud in this, but I'm not sure what you should do about it. The obvious trick of dropping the mids a little seems a little too simple. But hey, try that anyway, maybe it'll help. Yeah. Good luck, if you're gonna keep working on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted November 4, 2008 Author Share Posted November 4, 2008 The drums come in a little funny. Working on what notes to emphasize might be a good idea. I like the drum rhythm you get going once the melody comes in, tho I would like to hear some more left-hand piano writing there, even if it's just chords and little embellishments.It also gets kind'a repetitive, esp. the second half. If you'd step away from the idea of the lyrics, you might be able to make this into something worth submitting. And it's got some weird panning and frequency balance things. Dunno how you manage to get your tracks so muddy sounding, there's some mud in this, but I'm not sure what you should do about it. The obvious trick of dropping the mids a little seems a little too simple. But hey, try that anyway, maybe it'll help. Yeah. Good luck, if you're gonna keep working on it. My final ver. is a big change to this one Rho. I had Zircon, Avaris and DrumUltima critique it. So I made my changes specifically to their opinions...except for the piano thing - I like it the way it is so yeah. Thx for the comments tho Rozo Joe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Rum Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 I like this. If you put those lyrics in like you posted, this would be kick ass to the max. My only problem is that I think the drums should be a bit louder. But that's not a problem. Pretty damn good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted November 6, 2008 Author Share Posted November 6, 2008 I like this.If you put those lyrics in like you posted, this would be kick ass to the max. My only problem is that I think the drums should be a bit louder. But that's not a problem. Pretty damn good. thanks man. Good to have comments like that ^^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aninymouse Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 Honestly, I'm not a fan of the brass/horn sample at all. I'd much rather you just use that area to expand upon the way the other instruments play off one another. Overall this seems solid, but it's way too conservative on the mix. You'll be told to supplement your mix with greater arrangement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted November 7, 2008 Author Share Posted November 7, 2008 Honestly, I'm not a fan of the brass/horn sample at all. I'd much rather you just use that area to expand upon the way the other instruments play off one another.Overall this seems solid, but it's way too conservative on the mix. You'll be told to supplement your mix with greater arrangement. Perhaps, but the support melodies, bass and chord structure are different. As for the brass, it's changed to a much more pleasant sample ^^ Thx for comments Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Therapsid Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 Really promising, Hoboka. Keep it up Moreover I'm fond of DKC soundtracks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aninymouse Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 I'm fond of DKC soundtracks Definitely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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