Luigi's mansion

[Zerossoul]

This is my first time on OCR, so if I do something a little out of the ordinary, that's why.

Okay, the main reason this is here is because I got half way through the song and didn't know what to do. So it cuts off half way through it. I need as much feedback as I can get on this one!

I wanted to do an evil version of this song, And I think I have a good thing going, but it sounds a bit repetitive. so I'm looking for ways to spice it up.

Here is the link [link]

and here's the source [link]

[Spakku]

It's kind of annoying how it builds in tension and then doesn't go anywhere with. It keeps teasing that its going to explode into something mind-blowing 'til 1:17 and then it just slinks away.

My advice: let it step up like it seems to want to.

[PROTO·DOME]

It's kind of annoying how it builds in tension and then doesn't go anywhere with. It keeps teasing that its going to explode into something mind-blowing 'til 1:17 and then it just slinks away.

My advice: let it step up like it seems to want to.

Agreed. It would be awesome to have a thicker soundscape further on- maybe filling out with strings or something coupled with a louder, more progressed, rhythm on the drums. Also you should do an epic drum fill into the new section. This would be cool with a kind of metal style guitar 'chugging' rhythm thoughout. I know you've kinda done that already but rather than have it in bursts, have it constant (not overpowering though). Oh! And a thick, church organ sound might go well too.

Basically this could get on the repetitive side real easy, you need some more variation. Hope my ideas are of any use, looking forward to see what you do!

[HoboKa]

Yeah this def. needs something to build up TO, can't just have it build up then have it go pfffssst. Gotta give it some meaaat, as well as a lead melody section, cuz this is kinda too ambient - like a lot of my own works cept this actually does have some direction, so u get points there

[TheHands]

GIVES ME THE METAL!

Towards the end of what you've got already, there's a perfect place for a kick-rim-snare jump into something more heavy. Melody? Distortion + Wah + D-e strings above the 12th fret. Maybe the tiniest bit of delay. Soundscape? Distortion + dropped D easy powerchords. Granted, the song's in B, but thats okay.

I'm also liking the idea of replacing the strings in the beginning with an organ, right now they sound too sampled because of the overlapping that happens with Sytrus.

[Nabeel Ansari]

GIVES ME THE METAL!

Towards the end of what you've got already, there's a perfect place for a kick-rim-snare jump into something more heavy. Melody? Distortion + Wah + D-e strings above the 12th fret. Maybe the tiniest bit of delay. Soundscape? Distortion + dropped D easy powerchords. Granted, the song's in B, but thats okay.

I'm also liking the idea of replacing the strings in the beginning with an organ, right now they sound too sampled because of the overlapping that happens with Sytrus.

That's the first time I've ever seen a critique with chord suggestions...

[TheHands]

Not really suggestions for chords themselves, just the style. I'm not saying to put the song in D, I'm simply saying that it's much easier to to have low 5th chords in dropped D tuning than it is in standard E. The song itself is originally in B though, so the tuning doesn't matter all that much as long as that style comes through.

At least, that's my take on it. It's not my mix, my advice can be taken or left either way. Just seems like it's perfect to go crazy-heavy.

[Zerossoul]

Okay, I've taken a few suggestions, And I've made this allot better. I'm still having a hard time finding a good organ VST, and as soon as I find one, I'll add it in. I've also made It a few BPM faster, I'm not sure I needed to though.

[link]

I Haven't been able to do much with the drums yet, it's my least favorite thing to mess around with. But I'll make it a bit more snappy next time I post. Thanks for all the wonderful feedback, It's really getting this song going!

[TheHands]

The guitars sound very mixed high, the lows are scooped entirely. They (rhythm guitar that echos the one chord at odd intervals) also sound too exposed, and don't seem to blend enough into the backing. Reverb might help this.

The solo riff thing at the end sounds too mechanical and synthy to pass for guitar, though this again could be the need for reverb.

Also, it needs an ending.

You seem to have a direction in mind for this song, which definitely helps. Just keep pushing, you're getting there.

[Rozovian]

So far so good, newbie.

I was expecting the distorted synth in the 1:14 to transition into the lead melody (like around 1:32), but no. That would probably be more interesting. I don't mean to take a dump on your creative choices, so don't read it as that... but you do need some more variation in what you've got.

Also, where are your lows and mids? This sounds pretty hoarse, in lack of a better word. I mean, it works, but a little more meaty mid frequencies would give the track more beef (which certain judges like).

Drums could be a bit stronger, too, at least during the 1:14-end part since that's the most intense part. Some fills would be nice to, they signal a change in the track which is a way of making the track change in intensity.

Creativity ok, but needs more creative touches. Arrangement ok, but needs more variation. Source use/interpretation ok, tho could use some additional references of source here and there. Frequency balance ok... but needs more mids and lows (don't overdo it, tho). Mixing ok, but needs more meat. WiP ok, but needs more W and P.