I need someone with a British accent to record a few spoken lines

[The Legendary Zoltan]

I'm making a parody gaming podcast episode and I just need a few lines recorded and sent to me. Mic quality doesn't even matter. Here are the lines.

"Cheers and British Sarcasm." (This is you greeting the audience at the beginning of the podcast.)

"I’ve been playing Metal Gear Solid 3 HD. I really do think Hideo Kojimer is brilliant."

What? (Another person)

"I said Kojimer is brilliant."

It’s KojiMA. (Another person)

"That’s what I said!" (Kind of angry that the other person didn't understand your accent)

"So do we."

"I think it’s absolutely unacceptable and I can totally understand why there is so much outrage coming from gamers. I mean this is the problem with the X-bone. You know? It’s a new console generation and they can only run 1079p at 59 fps? That’s bollocks! That’s bollocks and crisps!" (Kind of loud and ranty)

"What's Winstagram? I've never heard of that one."

"Goodbye."

That's it. You'd be really helping me out if you could record that. It's going to be a pretty fun fake podcast. If you'll do it let me know. Sooner is better for me. I've already recorded all the other parts.

[WillRock]

When you say british accent do you mean an english, welsh, irish or scottish accent? Or are you not picky?

Also, second person - is that being provided by someone else or are you expecting to find 2 different people to do the separate lines from here?

[The Legendary Zoltan]

Oh, right. I guess I was thinking English but actually I'm not picky.

The other voices are all voiced by me, so just one British person will do. You don't need to worry about leaving space or anything where other people's lines are. I'm going to edit it to perfection. Are you able to do it, Mr. Rock?

[Meteo Xavier]

If mic quality isn't a problem, I can do it. I actually have some vocal acting recording experience, and I dare toot my own horn that I have some skill in it.

[The Legendary Zoltan]

Mic quality is not a problem. If you can do a convincing accent, please do! Of course, I'll credit you in the video. Sooner is better for me.

[Swifthom]

I have a British accent and a decent mic setup.

http://www.distantspires.com/products/1.php

Let me know if you haven't got anything sorted by sunday as I can record that evening and get to you by Monday.

[Meteo Xavier]

Mic quality is not a problem. If you can do a convincing accent, please do! Of course, I'll credit you in the video. Sooner is better for me.

Well, you'd need to contact me first with the specifics. You're a hard man to find online these days (for good reasons, I know, but still) and I won't know what to record or how you want it yet.

[The Legendary Zoltan]

All the phrases in quotation marks in the first post are all the lines I need. A WAV or an MP3 file will be a good format. I gave some quick notes about how it should be delivered, too. Specifically what additional information do you need?

It's a parody podcast so the usual kind of mundane voice will do, so I hoped that anyone could just press record, say what's written in the first post and then simply link me to it. So if either of you, Xavier, Swifthom, Willrock, want to do it, feel free to just go for it. Thanks!