Liontamer Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 (edited) Contact Information Platonist Jonas Loman platonistmusic.com 16372 Submission Information Legend Of Mana Nocturnal Lumina Composer - Yoko Shimomura Alright, so I agreed with almost all your points this time and decided to rework the remix. Here are the changes I made: * Switched to High-pass filter on the piano-arpeggio just as the lead is about to hit to reduce muddiness. * Let the more intricate bass line from the build-up stay through-out the trance bit. * Raised the lead one octave after one iteration to add more development. * Edited intro buzz-synth with a fade in and slightly less in-your-face once it's there. * Fixed the attack on the string and made it a little less abrasive overall. * Better/Cleaner mix overall (hopefully). * New breakdown section with a solo&/original writing after 2 iterations - that beat then continues into the outro. * Removed the animal noises. Hope you like this one better! I didn't add much variation to the drums during those two iterations because their simplicity/basic feel was what I was going for. Hopefully the new section and the less generic bass line will be enough to turn your NOs around Cheers! Edited August 25, 2017 by Liontamer closed decision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gario Posted August 8, 2017 Share Posted August 8, 2017 Well, while I wasn't able to vote on the last track I am familiar with it, so I can compare what was with what's here. The mix has some improvement that helps keep the themes poping out while not drowning the interesting backing instruments. It also sounds like the synth strings have the attack tightened up a bit, and there's an additional section that plays with the material a bit to keep the listener's interests peaked. On those fronts, you're probably okay. Many of the synths are basic (raw saws and such), but I feel outside of the synth strings they're utilized in a way that keep the soundscape interesting. Not sure why, but I never quite agree'd with the synth strings - they just seem hollow and otherwise uninteresting. But hey, could be personal taste and all - not going to knock you for it much, since the other instruments have a neat, retro-synth feel to them, and them chips are pretty tasty once they come in. The drum pattern is still pretty plain, though it was broken up a bit with the additional section in place. I like it, and I agree that there could be more Legend of Mana on here. Hopefully the others on here agree; good luck with the rest of the vote. YES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted August 9, 2017 Author Share Posted August 9, 2017 This updated version was still feeling pretty static overall after the first listen, and I still had mixing concerns, but I'll see how I feel on another go. At 1:17, the synth countermelody was still a nice element. At 1:44, the change into the next section was odd because the volume of the chippy lead was so much louder than everything before it, so it almost sounded stapled on top of the soundscape. Meanwhile, the countermelody was still registering, but relatively buried due to the bass kicks still smothering things. Again, I felt like I was hearing the bass kicks more than anything else (even though they were pulled back compared to the previous version), and the pattern was still very plain. The pattern's simplicity was intentional, but still plodding. 2:39's changeup to the texture was handled pretty well, with some more grace notes and embellishment for the lead writing, and more interesting bass and perc writing. Nice work there giving this some variation without changing the overall energy level of the source. At 3:20, the ending section was the same, albeit with more interesting backing writing thanks to the soft kicks added in. Well, I'm not saying all the backing writing needs to be wild, but this still plodded a lot. So while I understand the structure's intentional, there's still something missing here, and the track doesn't feel like it's being driven forward by the beats. The overall soundscape also felt like it was missing high-end clarity. I'm willing to hear out more POVs for sure, but IMO this isn't quite there yet mostly due to the backing writing for the first two-thirds and the muddy sound. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonAvenger Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 I do have to agree with a lot of what Larry said here about the first half of the track being a bit on the plodding side. The repetitive kick and slower melody are the culprit to me here, and I think some variation in either of those would make a difference here. That being said, I think 2:39 really brings things together quite well, and would have loved that sort of interpretation/extra touches earlier. I think this is really close for me as-is, and just a little more TLC on the arrangement side would be what does it for me. One more time, please! NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindWanderer Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 I think the production issues that concerned me before have been cleaned up, and it's definitely more dynamic and interesting than the earlier version. I really like the new original content The percussion could still stand to be varied more, though, and 1:18-2:36 is still a little on the monotonous side. The hook here is just so simple, it needs a lot of extra stuff to hold the listener's interest. Doubling the lead an octave higher and slightly changing the timbre of the saw arp aren't enough. The original content comes only at the end; it works really well there but it's too late to break up the static beat and repetitive melody. I think this is close, and it's definitely a vast improvement, but I agree with Larry and Deia that it needs a bit more variety and creativity earlier on in the arrangement to be interesting. NO (borderline, resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpazilla Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 The track takes quite awhile to get going but once it does, there is a lot of creativity. The mix is repetitive overall though, despite the strategies used to make it more interesting. My biggest gripe though is the mixing. The sounds used are very basic, and the overall mix lacks sparkle and depth so the result sounds quite flat. Needs another pass at the mixing, at the very least. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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