*NO* Shinobi 3 & Rise of the Robots "We Built an Edifice Towards a Dark Sky"

[Emunator]

Primary Artist: The Vodou Queen

COLLABORATORS:

• Zack Parrish - *Live Steel Tongue Drum
• SableProvidence - *Live Dizi
• GameroftheWinds - *Live Alto Flute

Originally done for the compo Double Dose round of Meat n' Potatoes - 123, "We Built an Edifice" has since grown and expanded into something I feel is much more than what was its original intent and drive. Based on a heavy influence by one of my favorite Experimental Electronica groups, The Glitch Mob, this version of the song leans more heavily towards its spooky main source roots ("Inner Darkside"), partially because the plan was to have this submitted for Halloween 2023 (but that fell through, sadly). It's as if The Glitch Mob meets 'Tubular Bells' (most famously known as the theme to "The Exorcist" franchise) meets the 'X-Files' / Signals from Space & Stephen King's The Tommyknockers...with a sprinkle of Asian aesthetics and a bit of orchestra. Rise of the Robot's "Builder / Prime 8" plays a hefty role in this remix as half of its bass arrangement, and also as some of the bell/arps structure and harmonic, pulsing Trance chords towards the end, at the key change.

My hope is that people appreciate the vibe, and the emotions and metaphors present within, of a driving, unseen, demanding (evil?) entity or force turning one--or several people--into slaves of passion...building that epicenter, one's own Tower of Babel, to greater and greater heights, without rest; (hence the vox line that originates from the movie: Field of Dreams ;) ). In a strange way, it's very reflective of my own vices and artistic processes...and whether or not that's healthy or good is another story entirely. Creative approach-wise, this came half-spontaneously and half-experimentally, something that's grown and evolved over months of tweaking it here and there since MnP123. I just knew I wanted to kind of mimic Glitch Mob's unique style and approach when it came to their synths and bass/drumlines, and see what I could spark of my own flavors and spice to those techniques and facets of composition. Arrangement/part-writing-wise, it doesn't stray *too* far outside of the original source material, however, I did do quite a bit of shaking up the MIDI, changing some note structure for "Inner Darkside" at the midpoint of the remix, and incorporating more of "Builder / Prime 8"'s chords to match it. Hopefully the flow feels good in those spots, inclusive of the slow-down / chill-out after the high-strings riser / drop that drags us kicking and screaming towards that finale...still obsessively, and unrelentingly building on the 'dark tower' that's within every human soul. Every bit in this remix had a purpose, every brick being lovingly laid. This track was a joyful ride, albeit I'd be remiss to mention or say I was reluctant / scared to submit this...purely out of fear it might not gel with everyone's jam. But...nothing ventured, nothing gained--so we'll see, like with all my other submissions thus far. :)

Huge hugs and thanks to my collaborators, and their immeasurable advice on how to write for woodwinds and ideas on how to bring out this piece to its fullest potential. I'm always glad and proud of every collab I do, with such a wide-variety of talented and gifted musicians. This one is no different. ♥

Thanks for listening. :D

A) * 00:25 - 01:16 = chords acting as the main melody of 'BHF03/Prime 8 Builder'
B) * 00:39 - END OF SONG/REPEAT = 'beep boop'-sounding arps playing in-behind the chord structure
C) * 01:30 - 02:20 = steady humming reese bass in the background

Source Breakdown:

• 1.]  01:33 - 01:56 = a pulsing bass/synth thump mix plays Builder's (C) content -- you can hear it *just* above the marimba part in the sound spectrum, where it "thumps", and there's a triple "thump" @ 01:44 & 01:55. Acts as a soft, subtle prelude to the heavier bassline coming up, utilizing the same (C) content
• 2.]  02:30 - 02:50 = primary fuzz bass and its sub-bass counterpart plays slightly modified (C) & (A) content, that rides with melody (**modified for better flow from Inner Darkside's bassline into it); chords and bass were split between the fuzz bass, sub-bass and plucky thump
• 3.]  03:03 - 03:25 = tubular bell synths play (B) Builder content, unmodified except for key transposition
• 4.]  03:27 - 04:11 = Hybrid 3 trance chord sequencing plays (A) Builder content, acting as pads and rhythm / harmony to Inner Darkside melody; the plucky thump of (C) content also returns here, transposed
• 5.]  03:49 - 04:11 = (B) Builder content / tubular bells return for Outro (key shifted 3rd major/minor down with the rest of the remix), until 3rd loop -> Finale

[prophetik music]

a general statement - going forward, in your submission emails, it'd be great if you'd include source breakdowns for tracks that include more than one original. it helps with clarifying source usage and making sure we don't miss references. i'm saying this because i don't hear Builder's Stage in this at all.

sfx to start. some tempo-synced FM bells as well. slowly builds adding in a variety of elements that are super disparate which is interesting. there's a beat at 0:36 which is very boomy (not sure about that kick drum's room tone and boominess, it's really distracting and takes up a lot of room). build continues until the actual beat hits at 0:59. the groove when the shamisen (?) playing the shinobi riff comes back is really hip, and the combination of instruments playing the lead here is a fun combination.

1:57 is a short break, and then we're back to the shinobi content with some new sounds. the beat comes back at 2:30 and it's a little bass heavy here - there's a lot in the 60-100hz range between that fat pad and the deep kick, so it feels muddy there.

2:50 is a break with some sfx, and then we get some fun winds going into a (very different) section at 3:26. i found this transition to be abrupt and it took my brain a minute to get it around the key change. the amount of what feels like static through here too was kind of weird and i didn't quite get the reason behind so much fuzz in the soundscape. i'll admit i didn't like this section at all. this fades down and maneuvers through an outro.

as expected, this is a highly crafted track throughout. i always find your tracks to be explorations in texture that happen to use game music as the framework that you're draping all these different blips and blurbs over, like the skeleton in a paper mache. this one is no different - you took a [honestly pretty weird] original and schmeared a bunch of really interesting textures and concepts over it, and for the most part it works. i still think that section at 3:26 is something that drags the overall product down, and the mastering overall is boomy and lacking in crispness, but the track as a whole demonstrates creative arrangement alongside a far-reaching ear for originative synth work. i think this is definitely above our bar.

 

 

YES

[MindWanderer]

I have to say, I'm struggling with this one.

The main hook is clearly those 2 measures from Shinobi, which repeat over and over: 8 times from 0:14-0:58, another 8 from 1:10-1:54, 4 more from 2:06-2:28 (which are finally varied up a bit), and finally 4 more with a key change at 3:25-3:48. 24 times altogether, and I'd had enough by the end of the first set of 8. Basslines can afford to be this repetitive; main melodic hooks cannot.

Speaking of bass, there isn't really any here. There's a sporadic kick, and that's about it until 0:59. The highs have very little as well: There's a really quiet flute, which only occasionally gets loud and high enough to fill that role. It's not until 2:11 that we get a synth that emphatically sits in that space. It's a very thin soundscape all around, with usually only about 3 instruments + drums playing at any given time, and the simplicity of most of the synths makes it feel even thinner. There are plenty of lengthy subtractive sections that have even less.

2:50-3:01 has some crackling sounds that sound like artifacts. And I agree with proph about 3:26+ having way too much fuzz tied to the "bass" synth (which is awfully high-pitched for a bass, but it's trying), which not only sounds like cluttering white noise, but sounds off-key. 3:48+ all sounds very off-key.

Even though there are a lot of interesting, fun riffs that dance around the core themes, I personally found the overall effect to be repetitive, sparse, and unpolished. I hate to be discouraging, because there are a lot of cool ideas here, but I think the execution falls short.

NO

[Hemophiliac]

This took me a while and multiple days of listening and coming back to this to get my head wrapped around both the sources as well as the arrangement.  Even with the breakdown I struggled to identify most of what was coming through on Rise of the Robots. The only part of Rise of the Robots I recognized are the right-side panned bell arps during 3:03-3:23.

With that said, there's plenty of Shinobi in there to cover the source usage, even with only picking out a little of the Rise of the Robots.

0:00-0:14 Intro (original)
0:15-1:55 Shinobi
1:56-2:06 (original)
2:07-2:36 Shinobi
2:37-3:02 (original)
3:03-3:23 RotR + Shinobi
3:26-4:09 Shinobi melody (left panned violin very quiet)
4:10-4:40 Ending (original)
192/280 = 68.5% source

So with that said, this comes down to production for me. 3:26-3:46 and 3:48-4:10 is very fuzzy as was previously mentioned by both MindWanderer and prophetik.  The wonderful live performances from SableProvidence and GameroftheWinds feel subdued rather then focused on, bring those out some more later in the song (After 2:10). For 3:48-4:10 the final time we hear the Shinobi melody some on the left-panned violin it's very quiet and slowly fades out over the whole section.  I'm left confused as to what to focus on during 3:48-4:10 because there's a lot going on and it feels like the parts are fighting for control of the focus rather than working together. I know you can do it, because from 0:00-1:55 the parts feel balanced properly.  Background elements blend with each other there and the lead melody is clearly the focus of the listener.

You have the capability to make it work, this needs another go at the mixdown/balance of parts as well as looking at reducing the fuzziness towards the end of the track.

NO

[Liontamer]

Oooooh, for this Shinobi 3 source, I get why it's breaking Chimpazilla's ears in our #judges chat; that line brought in at 1:29 of the source. I 100% hear the dissonance; there's something about it though where's it not THAT bad for me; my mind's playing it to me like the way you'd THINK it would sound if that line were melodious, which might make 0 sense to say; I'm unsure of if there's a musical term for this dynamic. :-)

The beats at :25 are mixed in an odd way; a nice, booming presence, but sounding on the lossy/no-high-end side, so it's not benefiting the texture. Then some light claps or layered finger snaps, whatever they were, came in and also sounded very lossy and also very flimsy and dry.

I liked the transition sound at :57, but then the mixing of the next section also felt off. The light clacking percussion part added at :59 was too flimsy, then some beats added in at 1:10 sounded beefier, but again very lossy-sounding. The buzzing synth line brought in at :59 is practically buried once other elements are added at 1:13. The string line at 1:13 initially sounds decent, but gets way more exposed from 1:33-1:55. The overall sound & flow of the track is serviceable, but even by 1:33, it's pretty repetitive; 1:10-1:55 could be cut in half. MindWanderer's correct that the melody, as presented now, drags out over the course of the track; there may be other ways to present it to better maintain the interest.

2:07 changes up the textures more, but, from 2:11-2:52, lines begin to step over one another and competing to be heard, it's too messy, cluttered, and indistinct, due to that part added at 2:11. From 2:29-2:40, there's some clashing writing from whatever line was handling the lead before the part shifted back to the source melody at 2:41. Lots of quiet indistinctness from the bass writing as well from 2:30-2:50, where it's filling in the space some, but you're not making out any individual notes.

Back to the source melody at 3:03. Key change at 3:25 that sounded really clunky. I dunno any theory, so while I can't articulate it, the transposition of the part-writing taken from the source isn't clicking. I've said this to HoboKa and think it's the same for you; when you play it straight with your source tune transcriptions, it's fine, but often when you try to deviate in big ways, it opens up the potential for non-melodious writing.

Dunno what that instrumentation is with kind of a light phasing effect on it, but it's just creating clutter, and when it briefly drops out during transition phrases like from 3:46-3:48, it makes it more apparent how awkwardly it sits in the texture just adding noise.

Much better texture at 4:11; less was more there, both in terms of having a direction and the textures sounding clear enough, so it was an effective finish.

I didn't catch any of the Rise of the Robots writing; I'll check it later, but it didn't affect anything from a source usage standpoint.

To me, when the textures are fuller, you're inadvertently adding a ton of clutter and making it difficult to follow along, even though the core melody is repeating so much (and could use other variations), and the off-key sections (2:29, 3:25) dragged this down as well. Hemo made a good point that everything right now seems to pull emphasis away from the live parts, which come off extremely subdued.

Like MW, I agree there's good potential here, but it'll need a mixing reboot, undoing the off-key writing, and maybe some further melodic variations (not necessarily changing the notes, it could be the instrumentation), in that order. The first two are necessarily, the third may not be but is worth exploring. Unpolished is an apt word for it that MW used; we don't need perfect polish, but it'll need more than this. Lots of good potential here. :-)

NO (resubmit)

[Chimpazilla]

As with all of the VQ tracks I have evaluated, I can hear and feel how much care and attention to detail went into this.  As with the other submissions, there is a story behind the arrangement, the instrumentation has been carefully selected to convey a specific mood and tell an evolving story.  There are so many textures, sfx and ear candy, and the arrangement never loses interest.  This one is actually mixed rather well I think, compared to previous submissions.  (Although as with the previous submission I voted on, something has gone wrong with the mastering because it is hitting peak 2.4db, and it needs to be limited at 0db maximum).

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Before I write what I have to say next, which I wrote six days ago, I need to say that the Shinobi source song is problematic for me, in that it contains unpleasant dissonance, clutter, and lack of melodic contour in its lead writing.  Weird-ass source, imo.  I'm having a harder time busting this remix for doing similar things as the source is doing, but here goes.

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The problem I am having, as with previous submissions, is that there is so much going on at once, and quite a bit of the writing sounds extremely random and often out of key too, which ends up sounding awkward.  The track starts out fine up until 0:25, at which point the flute is already conflicting with the main arp, vocal patterns, and kettle drums.  It's several different patterns at once, and none of it makes sense together.  This problem persists throughout the piece.  The worst section for me is from 2:30-2:52;  the patterns are so varied harmonically as well as rhythmically that the entire section is just confusing.  

I don't even mind the fuzzy timbre at 3:27, I kind of like it!  But the arp patterns conflicting at that section is what ruins it for me.  For musical writing to make sense to a listener, lead motifs should have some sort of motivic or harmonic contour, meaning the notes don't just bounce all over the place.  Also, countermelodies, arps, basslines and supporting patterns need to interplay with each other in a way that makes a cohesive soundscape, and that is not happening here.  In a previous submission, Larry described the problem as a "lack of melodiousness.."  I hate to say it, but that's the problem here as well.

I hate to come down hard on this.  There's a lot to like about the track.  It has a great ethnic flavor and energetic vibe.  The combining of the sources is well accomplished and the arrangement has great dynamics.  The attention to detail is off the charts.  The mixing as I said is even working well enough (although please use a final limiter, set to 0db maximum).  But the mismatched harmonic, melodic, and rhythmic patterns are sinking it for me.

Ok I am listening to some Glitch Mob tracks to try to understand what's being emulated here.  Wow, their stuff is really unique, full of varied patterns and sounds.  The difference is that even though they are really pushing the envelope, the patterns ultimately make sense rhythmically and harmonically even when many of them are layered together.  This would be a tough style to emulate, it's a very ambitious undertaking for sure. 

In all honesty, and please take this in the spirit of helpfulness, I suggest you select a much simpler source song, and approach a remix in a much simpler way, so that you can learn about melodic contour, harmonies, countermelodies, rhythms, and keeping the soundscape more simple, with elements placed purposely and never randomly and never too many at a time.  Don't be afraid to cut out ideas that aren't working, even if you spent time on them!  Eventually you do get used to doing that!  Your arrangements are already VERY good, they just need refining at this point.

NO