Evaluation:
Yeah, this is muddy and imbalanced.
The bass is much too big and takes up most of the space, covering up the other parts too much. Balance amongst the parts should be worked on to bring more parity between them, let them work together and not fight with each other.
After the introduction, the source melody should be brought out more too so that the listener does have a better grasp on what they are hearing.
I'm not sure how I feel about the high synth that's noodling about on top of everything. It's definitely occupying the right space for it, the part just feels random and not adding much to propel the track forward. As a listener you definitely notice it going away at 2:42. Helped with fatigue.
Structurally, there could be a break in the middle with a contrasting feel to help separate the track and give it more momentum to keep it moving forward. Book-ending the beginning and endings can work, and this could work better if the ending doesn't happen so suddenly. That's also aside the fade-out, it doesn't work very well. I suggest ending at 3:22 instead, that spot actually feels like it could be a more natural ending.
What I like is the mellow feeling the interpretation has compared to the original. Slowing the tempo really helped to bring out more ideas and gives space for you to explore your own take.