Dhsu Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 (image yoinked from The Wingless's sig) As prone as he is to stroke his own gargantuan ego, it seems Mr. Burnett has been remiss to publicly announce his latest personal project, Planetfall. He describes it as an epistolary novella (in a vein similar to Bram Stoker's Dracula, the journals in Bioshock, or the e-mails in Assassin's Creed) and in it recounts the events on and surrounding the starship NSEA Demosthenes in a story inspired by Arthur C. Clarke's Breaking Strain. My only critiques would be the numerous typos (although I guess they could be attributed to the crew members themselves), the lack of additional music (a new track for each partition would've been appreciated), and the odd fact that every last member of the crew looks like a supermodel. That aside, the writing and presentation make Planetfall a very engrossing experience. The individual personalities of the crew and their interactions with each other are intriguing, and I especially like the use of lingo like "firma," and the little Easter eggs such as "Clarkian" astrogation and the names in the list. Very amusing. I encourage everyone to check this out, maybe even submit an article to Digg. This definitely deserves to be seen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. Fuzzy Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 I'll try my best not to spoil too much, but ok: Gosh, I loved that. One of the best things I've read in ages. Masterfully written, with a sense of detachment to it (due to there being no actual fixed narrator) that helps build up the aura of mystery. Despite the final events having no definitive narrative, the log was actually far more effective in detailing the events than actually having a descriptive writing style; the sense of the unknown helping emphasise the panic and boost the sense of desperation. The soundtrack was very appropriate, I thought. Slightly repetitive, admittedly, but it helped me to visualise what was actually going on; a ship cruising through the obsidian ocean, dotted with pinpricks of light and swirling nebulae, the inner turmoil unrevealed. And once you read the final scene, everything just becomes so much more poignant with the music in the background. Absolutely fantastic. Commence the pimpage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supremespleen Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Definitely cool. If you enjoyed this, I highly recommend you check out the film, Sunshine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dhsu Posted June 5, 2008 Author Share Posted June 5, 2008 The soundtrack was very appropriate, I thought. Slightly repetitive, admittedly, but it helped me to visualise what was actually going on; a ship cruising through the obsidian ocean, dotted with pinpricks of light and swirling nebulae, the inner turmoil unrevealed. And once you read the final scene, everything just becomes so much more poignant with the music in the background. Absolutely fantastic. Indeed. Although I have to admit I'm a little surprised The Wingless didn't do the music himself, considering he's obviously quite capable in that regard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The wingless Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 shit soup! I was WAITING for my EDITORS to FIX my fucking TYPOS and now I gotta deal with this shit! MY PLANS! well I guess... standby later for a much typo-freer version and an official announcment in this thread or... something. Fuck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dhsu Posted June 5, 2008 Author Share Posted June 5, 2008 Haha. Oops. Edit: Make a new thread when you're ready. We can get Larry to merge this one into yours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. Fuzzy Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 shit soup! I was WAITING for my EDITORS to FIX my fucking TYPOS and now I gotta deal with this shit! MY PLANS! well I guess... standby later for a much typo-freer version and an official announcment in this thread or... something. Fuck! Actually I thought the idea of the typos was to give the crew a more human side, because, you know, typos are an everyday thing (and I assume it'd be the same for logkeeping). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The wingless Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 it wasn't! This project really drew into sharp relief how terrible I am at editing my own writing. :/ Good thing I can get by on a little help from my friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dhsu Posted June 5, 2008 Author Share Posted June 5, 2008 After all, all you need is love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirChadlyOC Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 If only there were a copy editor on the OCR boards somewhere! O wait. This guy. It's funny, I didn't really mean to read the whole thing. I was busy doing important work things when I clicked on the Wingless's sig. I read the first few pages like, "WTF?" Then I read 6 more chapters. Then I checked to see how many chapters there were since I had work to do. I then read the only chapter left. Then it was too late for me to finish my work. This story has been in my head ever since. What a mind job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The wingless Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 I'll bump this a bit before making an official announcement. OCRemix forums is a fickle bitch! for those of you who have read it, do you know of any place ever remotely related where I could showcase this? Thanks, and keep reaching for the staaaaaaaaaaars! p.s. oh, and if you like Planetfall, go ahead and grab the sig and the link and spread the word. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutritious Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 I read through it a couple days ago. Didn't know what I was reading at first - I was trying to figure out if it was a backstory to a game or something. But, then I got really engrossed in it and read all the way through. Man, that story has been on my mind ever since - extremely well written and presented. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dhsu Posted June 5, 2008 Author Share Posted June 5, 2008 I'll bump this a bit before making an official announcement. OCRemix forums is a fickle bitch!for those of you who have read it, do you know of any place ever remotely related where I could showcase this? Thanks, and keep reaching for the staaaaaaaaaaars! p.s. oh, and if you like Planetfall, go ahead and grab the sig and the link and spread the word. The usual geek blogs: Digg, Boing-boing, slashdot, Transbuddha, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monobrow Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 haha.... awww I mean... interesting Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinewav Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 Yeah I just read it today too. Didn't mean to, but I did anyway. It was very engrossing, which is saying something coming from me who normally has difficulty reading a two page thread before something shiny distracts me. I don't know if I have much to say beyond that. It has definitely been stuck in my thoughts all day, and it has the gears in my head turning for my own stories. Nice work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blake Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 I read it earlier today. I was really impressed. I personally think the music was perfect, and if it changed, I think it would be too noticeable and sort of cheesy (just my opinion). Ending was awesome. Sub it to Kotaku? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The wingless Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 I read it earlier today. I was really impressed. I personally think the music was perfect, and if it changed, I think it would be too noticeable and sort of cheesy (just my opinion). Ending was awesome. Sub it to Kotaku? I was thinking about that. There is minor precident since it's epistolary, which System Shock and Bioshock have done. Plus, I'm in the game's industry. Lastly, I'm interesting in experimenting with "Gamey" narrative structures. So... yeah... I guess! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blake Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 Bump and cool beans. Well...I think the product itself was more than enough to get on Kotaku, but all that background definitely helps lawl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HalcyonSpirit Posted June 7, 2008 Share Posted June 7, 2008 That... was strangely engrossing and, curiously, simple and complex at the same time. Truly a well-written work, but I think it goes beyond that. The people felt real. The situation felt real. Hell, the story, as others have mentioned, keeps you thinking well after it's over. Not many stories, not many writers, can do that, at least in my experience. Especially with stories on the shorter side, like this one. I can only dream of having such writing ability. I strive for it, but I don't think that I could every attain the skill seen here. I'm going to recommend this to everyone I know; this deserves to be read by a great many people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The wingless Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 (Lawrence, you may merge this at your earliest convenience. Thank you, my African American) So for those of you who haven't seen the original thread posted by the well-meaning but impetuous dee-shu (lolz, thanks anyway!), I wrote a sci-fi novella. More than that, it's an epistolary sci-fi novella, which is just a fancy way of saying "story told through messages" Planetfall is told through back-and-forth emails between the various crew members of the NSEA Demosthenes. After nearly a year in space, the ship suffers a critical equipment failure, forcing the crew to grapple with a crisis that may kill everyone on board. ----------------------- screenshots! http://www.thewingless.com/planetfall/planetfall_ss1.jpg http://www.thewingless.com/planetfall/planetfall_ss5.jpg http://www.thewingless.com/planetfall/planetfall_ss4.jpg http://www.thewingless.com/planetfall/planetfall_ss6.jpg =============================================================== And without further ado, Planetfall www.thewingless.com/planetfall =============================================================== Why make the official thread now? Cuz I put it up on Digg. So if you like it, go ahead and point it up. here's the digg article (hastily written description FTW!) http://digg.com/comics_animation/Planetfall_a_sci_fi_epic_told_entirely_through_messages --------------------- I also took the liberty of making some small sigs if you want to show a little support and whatnots. thanks, and keep reaching for da starz and whatnots. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinewav Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 I posted my feelings about this in Dshu's thread (EDIT: this post was in the wingless' thread before it was merged with Dshu's), but I'll go ahead and say it here: Everyone should read this. It's that good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickenwarlord Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 I'd check this out if I were you. It's fairly well written, even if it is a bit predictable. The soundtrack really complements the overall feeling too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinewav Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 I think the predictability is actually a good thing in this case. There is a constant sense of doom looming over the reader at all times. You see it coming... but it's the journey there that makes it so intense. This story might make an interesting concept for a live action roleplaying game... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bleck Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 Wait - does this mean it's finished, or is it one of those things where I read all of it only to find out it's continued in part 2? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinewav Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 It's a complete story, unless he decides to make a sequel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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