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Tarnish

2009/09/26 -Small Update- Sonic (GG) Bridge Zone remix

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I think the intro is pretty cool, honestly, maybe you could consider making a reference to it later on in the piece (maybe changing it slightly as a way of transitioning out of the breakdown?).

No need to put yourself down. You don't have to be your own (absolute) worst critic, lol. This thing has come a long way from the first version (and your first more-full-length version, too).

Thx, glad you like it. :) Maybe I will try that with the intro and the breakdown transition, since what I have currently with the drum is kinda cheap and not very much to my liking.

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Okay maybe it's not completely up to OCR's standard but I kinda liked it. I think it goes off the point a lil' later on, I'd quite like bits of the source or another sonic jingle or something in the middle, just to reaffirm it's from the game. Ending's a bit weak for my liking, however I really like the source and your style in general. Cool stuff, please update ^^

Oh how about adding a crazy pitch bending synth solo?! That would be freakin' ace!

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Thx for the feedback guys. I'm working on the mastering, but for some reason I can't get the electric guitar to sound as it sounded before in previous versions..sometimes I get the feeling FL has a mind of it's own when it comes to mastering.

Tho I can't really spend too much time on it now, since I'm having exams soon and I rather study for those.

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Helloooooo~! I didn't see this one back when it was originally being worked on (I was busy with my own project, at the time... ages ago :?). I listened to the first WIP and the most recent submission, here - I'm frankly amazed how far it's come, since then. No, not OCR worthy, but certainly a vast, vast improvement. It went from a complete 'Meh' factor to a 'Wow, this was nice' outlook (Just not quite 'Holy shit, that was INCREDIBLE' yet; that's the OCR standard that I've seen 8O). Many mixers don't get out of the 'meh' outlook, for me, so great job on that.

Now, for a little critiquing...

The original WIP had too much source - now I feel it suffers ever so slightly in the opposite direction. The original sections that you've added don't have any sort of reference to the source that I can hear. Broken parts of the melody, source harmonies, rhythm, etc. would be nice to refer the listener to the source while not necessarily repeating anything. It keeps originality and continuity in one nice happy bundle.

While using the stereo spreading... plugin thingy (name slips my mind, atm) to fill the channels better is generally good, you've got too much going on, as it is. Try centering the music a bit more when you master the thing.

The instrument choice is fine, albiet blaise. None-the-less, I really did enjoy myself while listening to this. If not for OCR, try submiting this to other sites when you finish (VGMix, OLR, ThaSauce - I'm sure one of these places would be more than happy to accept this and give you even more feedback on it). It certainly can't hurt, and the feedback you'll get from a variety of places could certainly help.

When your done mastering, that is :-P.

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Helloooooo~! I didn't see this one back when it was originally being worked on (I was busy with my own project, at the time... ages ago :?). I listened to the first WIP and the most recent submission, here - I'm frankly amazed how far it's come, since then. No, not OCR worthy, but certainly a vast, vast improvement. It went from a complete 'Meh' factor to a 'Wow, this was nice' outlook (Just not quite 'Holy shit, that was INCREDIBLE' yet; that's the OCR standard that I've seen 8O). Many mixers don't get out of the 'meh' outlook, for me, so great job on that.

Now, for a little critiquing...

The original WIP had too much source - now I feel it suffers ever so slightly in the opposite direction. The original sections that you've added don't have any sort of reference to the source that I can hear. Broken parts of the melody, source harmonies, rhythm, etc. would be nice to refer the listener to the source while not necessarily repeating anything. It keeps originality and continuity in one nice happy bundle.

While using the stereo spreading... plugin thingy (name slips my mind, atm) to fill the channels better is generally good, you've got too much going on, as it is. Try centering the music a bit more when you master the thing.

The instrument choice is fine, albiet blaise. None-the-less, I really did enjoy myself while listening to this. If not for OCR, try submiting this to other sites when you finish (VGMix, OLR, ThaSauce - I'm sure one of these places would be more than happy to accept this and give you even more feedback on it). It certainly can't hurt, and the feedback you'll get from a variety of places could certainly help.

When your done mastering, that is :-P.

Heh, thx dude. It's kinda funny that before it had too much source, now you say it hasn't got enough. I thought it would be good to break away from the source tune for a part of the song, but guess it wasn't the best idea. I'll try to think of a tune that's closer to the source or has some parts of it.

About the mastering, I know it's very off, I didn't really work on that yet. I'll study some songs to know how much centered the different instruments should be (but I know which feature you're talking about, lol). The only thing I don't get is what you mean by 'blaise' instrument choice.

Anyway, glad you liked it. :P

PS.: It will take a few weeks to release another update, because I'm having exams in school from next week. And also coz my headphones died on me, and now I have to settle for a much worse quality headphones, which I still have to get used to.

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The only thing I don't get is what you mean by 'blaise' instrument choice.
'Blaise' = bland. The instruments are pretty common and don't allow the mix to stand out. You'll need to find some different instruments to use, if your shooting for OCR (of course, don't worry about it if not :P). They just don't catch the listener's ears well enough, atm.

It's a picky detail, but I try to tell people everything when I critique. Notice that I say it's generally fine - it's just not spectacular (you know what I mean?).

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Long overdue comments. It was fun to hear how this track has evolved.

Since you only listed negatives yourself, I'll post some positives:

- the original writing fits well to the source

- lots of good details

- lots of creative arrangement ideas

- details and arrangement ideas highlight the playful nature of the piece

- the piece has a cohesive mood

Just keep at it, it's worth it. I think it's a good idea to move on to the next project and have some more fun. Like I said from the start, in my opinion you clearly have the ear and creativity for this, all you need is to churn out lots of songs to practice it. =)

--Eino

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Not finished with the mastering yet, but working on it..just want to know if I'm going in the right direction (in my opinion I am coz I like where it's headed, the question is rather do others like it this way too). Also made a few changes to it.

PS.: For those who want to point out the annoying hihat in the background, I know about it, I want to change on that.

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Well, exams are over, I managed to pass all of mines, so I could concentrate on this damn thing again. :<

The way I see it, the mastering is final, can't really make it any better with my current experience/knowledge. In composition/arrangement there's not much change since last time, sorry for those who were waiting a solo or variation of the source tune instead of my old original section. Still could use some work here and there, but meh.. :?

I still have a few ideas for this that I might give a try tho.. :roll:

EDIT: a little change at 2:35-2:42.

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It cuts off at the end for me, but it could just be my connection, so meh... no comments about the ending :P

I think your mastering is top notch, to be honest - everything is very clear and nothing is muddy or clipping. Very nice work on that.

I don't know whether to call this too much source or too little, right now... When the source is playing there is little to no variation to it ('too much source'), and when you make something up it doesn't sound very related to the source (although there IS a little bit of association to it, towards the end). Hmm, a tough call, but I'd say the lack of variation to the source when it's there makes it a little less interesting than it could be (although I like the source, too :P).

Very nice sound to it, overall, though - I'm making an OCR complaint about the source, as that's a restriction they have. If you planned on submitting it you'd need to address it, otherwise don't worry about it too much.

Hey look, I'm now Chrono! Woot. This will look stupid when I don't have +800 posts anymore :tomatoface:

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Thx Gario. I don't think it's your connection, the end is a bit kinda sudden, but others said they like it that way.

About the mastering, I don't know if it's really good enough, since you're the only one who gave feedback...Other's might think otherwise.

And the source...I tried to make variations from the original tune to make it different (added a bass which the original didn't have and other more minor stuff), but guess they're not too noticeable.. :?

Don't think I'll be submitting it (at least not in this form), since I'm pretty sure it wouldn't get approved..they sometimes throw back stuff I find perfectly made, and I have a pretty high standard for music. So it would be just a waste of the judges' time to submit this.

Btw, I posted it to ThaSauce too for feedback, but no reply yet..VGMix seems pretty deserted recently, last time I tried to get feedback from there I didn't get any..and OLR..don't think I would get much of a useful feedback there.

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Yeah, me again, with this remix again..call me stupid but I just can't move on from this song, not until I make it the way I want it to sound. And yay, I think I may have got something this time.

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Tho might as well state it now, since some1 would notice it eventually sooner or later, that I got the idea for the intro from another Bridge Zone midi at vgmusic made by David Austin. Not too original I know, but it goes pretty well with what I had so far, so I went for it and used it anyway.

Still very rough and incomplete mix and arrangement, just showing the idea with this. Pretty sure this is finally what I'm gonna use as the intro for sure.

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Yeah, me again, with this remix again..call me stupid but I just can't move on from this song, not until I make it the way I want it to sound. And yay, I think I may have got something this time.

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Tho might as well state it now, since some1 would notice it eventually sooner or later, that I got the idea for the intro from another Bridge Zone midi at vgmusic made by David Austin. Not too original I know, but it goes pretty well with what I had so far, so I went for it and used it anyway.

Still very rough and incomplete mix and arrangement, just showing the idea with this. Pretty sure this is finally what I'm gonna use as the intro for sure.

Tarnish that's good but I've noticed

you give up too easily. As soon as someone gives ya a negative crit you blame yourself and call it a lost cause to do anything more...

Keep going with this song, if someone says there's a way to make it better, make it better with that way.

Anyways, onto the critique:

The intro bass synth is a little too loud just turn the volume down a bit.

ALSO turn down the lead synth! I'm wearing headphones and it was blastin my ears!

Arrangement's pretty good. Lots of surprises and a nice groove. Main problem: lead is too loud. Things crackle a bit.

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I wouldn't use presets if I were you... That lead is "Sitrus, Guitar, Electric 3" on FL isn't it? And I'm sure I've heard those arpeggios in the "Arp" section. Probably the first couple in the list? I think the arrangment is good, I think I said that before actually, I enjoyed it, but you should really start editing the sounds a bit. As far as I know people (and the judges) don't look too kindly on using synth presets... That's all I have to say for now, but I agree with Gario, it's good, just not incredible. I love the Bridge Zone music so I'm looking forward to an update. ^___^

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Just putting in my two cents.

I am a fairly new remixer and just wanted to say, KEEP TRYING.

You'll only get better with time and this mix is fairly solid for your first mix.

Maybe taking a break to work on some other songs might give you some inspiration for this one.

Also, listen to a lot of the other mixes on the site, you can learn a lot.

That's all I got.

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Man, I wish I had this kind of determination. Usually when I remix something, I tool around with it for a little while and throw it away. It's actually kind of inspiring to see this thread pop up every now and then. :smile:

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The bass intro was just a bit long, but... when that synth came in... eargasm to the max! Dude, I think you may wanna replace some of the BG synth with electric guitars, but that's totally up to you. Honestly, as bumpy as the beginning sounds, the mix as a whole is turning out to be quite awesome. DO keep going. Don't give up. Also, don't FORCE it. You don't have to work on this at any timed rate, or anything dumb like that. Just wait for a brilliant idea to come naturally. That's kinda how my Ice Cap remix is evolving, speaking of which part of the bassline around the start somewhere made me think of the Ice Cap bassline :)

Anyway, good work, don't give up! :D

Note: This seems to deviate from the source more than any of mine so far...

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