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Pokémon HeartGold and SoulSilver


Dopple Boppler
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And I thought you were mocking me for spelling it wrong.

OK, enough of that. Back to the topic at hand.

Anyone look at the new girl and think she's some sort of Mario reject? Same basic color scheme, same clothes... I think we know what happened: she's Mario and Peach's illegitimate lovechild. Knowing how the scandal would shake the Mushroom Kingdom, and fearing for her well-being should Bowser learn of her existence, her parents sent her to the Pokémon world for safety.

Too bad she's too much like her father; keep all your Squirtle and Torkoal out of her sight. And for the love of god, don't let her near your Shroomish.

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Anyone look at the new girl and think she's some sort of Mario reject? Same basic color scheme, same clothes...

I'm sorry. I try to look at it, but all I can see is "retarded bonnet".

That and a Chikorita who, and this might just be me, seems to have something of a "come hither" look.

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That and a Chikorita who, and this might just be me, seems to have something of a "come hither" look.

Eeeewww. They warned me about people like you, but I just ignored them, thinking it was a scare tactic or something. Now I know that you really do exist, and I feel icky.

And in case no one has their sarcasm plug-in activated: :<

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Eeeewww. They warned me about people like you, but I just ignored them, thinking it was a scare tactic or something. Now I know that you really do exist, and I feel icky.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey. Whoa. I won't stand for that. Just because I pointed out that it's looking a little provocative there, you immediately assume I'm some sort of Chikorita-fancying pervert. Christ. You disgust me.

I'll have you know, my heart will always belong to Clefairy.

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I know right

damn kids always on my lawn

Shotgun full a' rock salt clears that right up.

Was tempted to get a plush Bonsly at Nintendo World just to throw at my siblings. Decided against it ($10 goes better towards other things, like bills).

Still not sure if that was the best idea or not.

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Mr. Mime and his soulless, all seeing, all knowing stare says hi. Or he would if he could say anything aside from creepily muttering his own name into the nightmare hearts of our children.

I said best, meaning most awesome not most likely to scar children.

Nah. It's obviously Banette. S&M-geared doll possessed by the spirit of a toy left behind by a neglectful child, wondering around playgrounds looking for revenge...

Sorry, no orange, dinosaur-wannabe baby can top that.

I honestly cannot tell if you're making this shit up or not.

Also it's dragon-wannabe thank you very much.

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I said best, meaning most awesome not most likely to scar children.

How is scarring children not awesome?

Incidentally, no, he's not making it up. Pokemon can be pretty damn brutal at times. Just look at Houndoom. It's a hellhound that breathes fire produced by a deadly cocktail of toxins that boil in its body, and because of those toxins, anyone who gets burned by that fire WILL FEEL THE PAIN FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE.

Now think back and imagine how many cute little Jigglypuffs you'd be crippling forever by hitting them with Houndoom's flamethrower.

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How is scarring children not awesome?

Incidentally, no, he's not making it up. Pokemon can be pretty damn brutal at times. Just look at Houndoom. It's a hellhound that breathes fire produced by a deadly cocktail of toxins that boil in its body, and because of those toxins, anyone who gets burned by that fire WILL FEEL THE PAIN FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE.

Now think back and imagine how many cute little Jigglypuffs you'd be crippling forever by hitting them with Houndoom's flamethrower.

Feraligatr tears and shreds it's prey into pieces as it devours it. Cacturne follow travelers through the desert waiting for them to become weak and unable to move. Most likely so they can eat them. Hypno hypnotizes children (there was at least one incident of this) and takes them away to do who-knows-what to them. Pokémon are freakin' awesome.

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All you really need to know is that Arceus made everything and is, in fact, God. It pretty much works its way down from there.

And yet you can STILL catch him without fail using a Master Ball. That's right. Not even the creator of the universe itself can withstand the power of a palm-sized plastic ball with a fruity colour scheme. Technology kicks ass.

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1209711718855.jpg

This is pretty much how it works, except Deoxys doesn't rule or create anything, it's just a mutated space virus.

Entei can cause volcanoes to erput, Raikou can make and ride on thunderclouds, and Suicune drives the north wind/can purify water. However, they're pretty free-spirited, so they don't seem to have any "greater purpose" behind their abilities.

Ho-oh created Entei, Raikou & Suicune out of the remains of 3 random Pokemon that died when Lugia's tower burned down hundreds of years ago. Obviously, it has great powers of regeneration. It seems to pay attention to what Entei, Raikou & Suicune are up to. There's at least one mention of it's ability to see into the future.

Lugia had dominion over the birds in the anime, but in the games he's just a crazy powerful dragon beast thing that lives in the deepest, strongest currents of the ocean. Other than your standard psychic Pokemon abilities of telepathy & psychokinesis, he's pretty standard, albiet awesome. Some say he guides the underwater currents and the balance of nature.

Regigigas is just an ancient powerhouse, and the other Regis serve as the lock on his seal. Apparently, the early humans feared Regigigas. Any other hints to their deeper purpose has been lost to the ages.

The 3 birds can alter the weather & seasons, but they don't purposefully control or make anything.

Heatran is a living volcano, more or less, but he didn't make the volcano he was born from.

Darkrai & Cresselia have some kind of relationship involving dreams and the moon, but their powers are kinda involuntary. They're just random, rare & powerful.

Jirachi can grant wishes and is probably from space.

Latios & Latias are just powerful & rare dragons with unique psychic powers.

The Unown apparently come from Giratina's world originally, but they somehow end up in our dimention and hang out on the walls in ancient ruins. They seems to have a lot of power in large numbers, but are stupidly weak alone.

Manaphy & Phione are just powerful, rare & unique. Manaphy has the ability to swap the hearts & minds of Pokemon & people.

Shaymin can cause any plot of earth to erput with plant life, namely flowers. It also likes to fly around from time to time.

...That should cover everyone.

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