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Rain Dancing At The Spirit Temple- Serenade of Water ReMix


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try to listen to some jazz to get some idea's. so far this doesnt even sound like jazz at all youtube some jazz songs to get some help.

If you told me why this doesn't sound like Jazz, I would understand your post.

But I came to OCR so I could hear what people had to say about the song.

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I'm going to agree with Jewbei. A sexy sax alone doesn't make for jazz. Jazz is... jazz? I can't give you a definition because I don't have a firm handle on one either, but I usually think of stuff like improv, lol.

As for what you have and where to go, I imagine the next few measures would either feature a melody and/or changing the drum sequencing to something less complicated, or continue building up... I'm sensing a lot of tension created by what that sax is repeating: either prolong the tension, or give us a release.

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I'm going to agree with Jewbei. A sexy sax alone doesn't make for jazz. Jazz is... jazz? I can't give you a definition because I don't have a firm handle on one either, but I usually think of stuff like improv, lol.

As for what you have and where to go, I imagine the next few measures would either feature a melody and/or changing the drum sequencing to something less complicated, or continue building up... I'm sensing a lot of tension created by what that sax is repeating: either prolong the tension, or give us a release.

Well I didn't say I was done lol I didn't mean to imply to you guys that the sax made it Jazz....

I didn't even pick all my instruments. But yeah I see what you're saying. For the drumbeat I took a very simple beat from something I love (Darkesword should very well know what I'm talkin about if you're reading this.) And i changed it around, adding some more stuff from a Jazz drumkit,

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Needs more swing. Something like the Wily Stage song that OCR officially released. That's the jazz theme there.

All I'm hearing is upbeat. While it's okay, there's just too much build up on it.

"The Wily Malfunction" ?!?!??!?!

That's raw power with synths! It's good, but how do you call that Jazz???

All right, never mind.

I'll just make this whatever. I always fail at something if I confine myself to a single genre, so I'll just go where it takes me.

I updated it, I somehow put the Serenade Of Water in there without messing up the beat.

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sorry to get back to you so late the thing is when i read your post you said it was going to be a jazz mix so i was expecting something of that caliber. The reason why i said it didnt sound like jazz because it didnt have swing to it. the only element it had was the sax.

heres a example of a wip from prototyperaptor dunno if i should be doing this but this is for you to get you ideas

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7726152

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It's all right Jewbei, I already decided that this is no longer jazz. It's just me being free with my style (which is actually bad in most cases {^_^"} )

I updated it, a very big chunk of stuff added on, from the Requiem Of Spirit to an ending solo which starts as piano and fades to a sax with closing drum transition out!

The solo is actually not that good, I couldn't think of anything a pianist would do with the notes of Serenade of Water so I did something random and then something looped and it went to a sax for the ending.

And the production is pretty bad so far, I need to clean up some stuff and add a few finishing touches and I think it's good to go. (Like there's no transition between Serenade and Requiem it''s abrupt and bumpy. Also my sax sound is getting a little dry and exposed in some parts so I have to fix that)

Edit: Most of these problems had a simple solution so I fixed em up.

EDIT 2: I just placed the ending solo in the beginning and changed some stuff around. This is for people who like intros more than endings. Removed unnecessary repeats. Now this mix is dangerously close to the two minute short limit...

You guys know I've received ZERO criticism... I've just been questioned at my claim of the genre of the song.

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Heh heh, the sample you've got up right now loops perfectly - I didn't even notice the break point. Is that good, bad or what? Well, it's really not anything - just an interesting thing about this current version :P.

I'm not going to put a label on this, as I'm generally bad at that sort of thing... Instead I'll make a genre up - Neblixsa. That is the genre of this song now :tomatoface:.

Okay, listening to it... very interesting instrument choice - they work rather well together. They could use a lot of dynamic work, though - the instruments sound very mechanical without the dynamic variations. For example, the sax from the beginning to 1:00... it would sound more animated if you vary the dynamics, either by having them diminuendo (decrease in volume in order to bring out the other instruments that come in throughout) or crescendo (increase the volume in order to increase he intensity before it goes silent) - that brings another dimension to the music.

Overall dynamics are the first step - then play around with the individual notes wherever it may sound too mechanical (the celesta at 2:03 is an example of this, although I probably would take out the repeating notes - it sounds weird from such a resonant instrument).

I like the overall vibe, though (even if it isn't jazz - not that I'd know, I don't work with Jazz much) - and the variation of such a short song is quite well done. Good job on incorporating the Spirit theme, as well :).

Keep it up!

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Heh heh, the sample you've got up right now loops perfectly - I didn't even notice the break point. Is that good, bad or what? Well, it's really not anything - just an interesting thing about this current version :P.

I'm not going to put a label on this, as I'm generally bad at that sort of thing... Instead I'll make a genre up - Neblixsa. That is the genre of this song now :tomatoface:.

Okay, listening to it... very interesting instrument choice - they work rather well together. They could use a lot of dynamic work, though - the instruments sound very mechanical without the dynamic variations. For example, the sax from the beginning to 1:00... it would sound more animated if you vary the dynamics, either by having them diminuendo (decrease in volume in order to bring out the other instruments that come in throughout) or crescendo (increase the volume in order to increase he intensity before it goes silent) - that brings another dimension to the music.

Overall dynamics are the first step - then play around with the individual notes wherever it may sound too mechanical (the celesta at 2:03 is an example of this, although I probably would take out the repeating notes - it sounds weird from such a resonant instrument).

I like the overall vibe, though (even if it isn't jazz - not that I'd know, I don't work with Jazz much) - and the variation of such a short song is quite well done. Good job on incorporating the Spirit theme, as well :).

Keep it up!

ALL RIIIIGHT!!!

I just emailed my brother for some pointers and THANK YOU for this excellent advice!

And about the instruments... it's not as interesting as you think. It's pianos, a sax, and a bass. I just got creative with the piano.

See what I plan to do is remember in the beginning how the sax fades in? Yeah I'll keep it a piano it sounds kinda weird like that.

And I think I'll make the sax fade into the rest of the song instead BAAAAAAHBAHBAAAAAAAHBAH over and over.

And the repeating notes of that Piano (it's not a celesta it's really high piano) are actually something I like. Can you tell me any other parts that sound too mechanical?

Whoooa I seriously just showed my age in this post. Jeez I haven't acted so excitedly childish for a looooong time.

I fixed the sax and I kept the piano in the intro just to give you a little taste of power and theeeen... WHAM it sends you into powerful neblixsa music.

But actually, DS just told me maybe I shouldn't use a sax... have any ideas on what else to use, Gario?

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If someone could please clear up these things that would be great:

What would you suggest in place of the sax?

What genre is this?

And is it too short?

And what should I call this remix (I plan on trying to get this on OCR WHEN it's finished)

EDIT: I replaced the Sax with a creepy Sine Wave. It should sound more... UUUGHHH WHAT IS THIS GENRE IT'S ON THE TIP OF MY TONGUE???

EDIT 2: I fixed some velocity problems. I looked over every individual and I know that they aren't all the same velocities... I don't hear why you guys are saying they sound mechanical because when I wrote the patterns I specifically made each note unique... maybe the difference isn't as noticeable, should I increase the differences?

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1. What would you suggest in place of the sax?

2. What genre is this?

3. And is it too short?

1. I like the sax, personally - I don't think you need to change the instrument, there.

2. I thought I gave you a suggestion for that :tomatoface:.

3. Perhaps a bit too short, but it's not that bad (~3:30 is the average, you can base it on that number).

I didn't listen to your edit (and I may not be able to, right now), so I don't know what your sax replacement sounds like. Next time, I guess.

If I have a choice on the title, I'd go with Slippery Stars of Spiritual Superstition ;).

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1. I like the sax, personally - I don't think you need to change the instrument, there.

2. I thought I gave you a suggestion for that :tomatoface:.

3. Perhaps a bit too short, but it's not that bad (~3:30 is the average, you can base it on that number).

I didn't listen to your edit (and I may not be able to, right now), so I don't know what your sax replacement sounds like. Next time, I guess.

If I have a choice on the title, I'd go with Slippery Stars of Spiritual Superstition ;).

Well Darkesword is a judge if he says something doesn't fit the soundscape then it doesn't fit the soundscape.

XD Neblixsa isn't a real genre, I have to put the information in the final mp3 (artist name genre etc)

And even if my remix was the greatest of all time, it would get rejected just because of that title... XDDDD

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Wait it wasn't Megaman. It was The Shinra Shuffle. My bad.

Something like that is what I call jazz.

You're kinda late, Psychol0gist. xD

I've already decided that it isn't going to be jazz.

Besides, my brother once told me "Genre Classification is stupid. It's just a piece of Music."

Anyways, if it doesn't take up your time I'd like for you to put in your comments about the ReMix.

http://neblixsaber.googlepages.com/RainDancingAtTheSpiritTemple.mp3

EDIT:

If I have given you a broken link then use the one above this one works.

I've been thinking about the title...

How do you guys like "Rain Dancing at the Spirit Temple"?

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Nothing like appealing to my ego with a pm to get me to post. :D

Intro is pretty mechanical, bass is pretty high (it's called bass for a reason), drums are nicely written tho they could use some more EQ to bring out the punch (50-200Hz somewhere).

The intro instruments have some shrill frequencies, see if you can figure out which ones those are and EQ them down a bit. Might have to change the synth/sampler filter to do it for all notes, depending on what's actually causing it.

This is nice play on the the source, sounds like there's a source presence throughout, tho I'd like to hear the source melody more, not just your rewritten versions of it. Whatever, source/interpretation sounds fine imo. I like the arrangement, but it needs to sound more like a performance, more human. Especially the lead.

Nice work, neblix, good luck with it.

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Nothing like appealing to my ego with a pm to get me to post. :D

Intro is pretty mechanical, bass is pretty high (it's called bass for a reason), drums are nicely written tho they could use some more EQ to bring out the punch (50-200Hz somewhere).

The intro instruments have some shrill frequencies, see if you can figure out which ones those are and EQ them down a bit. Might have to change the synth/sampler filter to do it for all notes, depending on what's actually causing it.

This is nice play on the the source, sounds like there's a source presence throughout, tho I'd like to hear the source melody more, not just your rewritten versions of it. Whatever, source/interpretation sounds fine imo. I like the arrangement, but it needs to sound more like a performance, more human. Especially the lead.

Nice work, neblix, good luck with it.

Really? I think all that stuff sounds fine.

If more people say otherwise, I'll consider looking at it.

No offense, Rozo, but what I say before I change something is "You're one out of how many?"

Don't take it the wrong way, I've just never been addressed about those problems before.

Thanks for listening, anyway. Every criticism is a step closer to OCR material.

And uhm... if you want to here the source more is kind of subjective... I can't cater to everyone's wants. Sorry.

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Just telling you what I think. I don't have a problem with the source use, that was a subjective crit rather than an objective one. Don't apologize for that. :P

You haven't been getting enough crits in this thread, mostly there's been genre talk and sax issues, lol. Gario had an issue with the mechanical sequencing, like I do. No-one has said much about the production stuff. Let's see if ppl agree now that I've pointed it out.

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Just telling you what I think. I don't have a problem with the source use, that was a subjective crit rather than an objective one. Don't apologize for that. :P

You haven't been getting enough crits in this thread, mostly there's been genre talk and sax issues, lol. Gario had an issue with the mechanical sequencing, like I do. No-one has said much about the production stuff. Let's see if ppl agree now that I've pointed it out.

My brother (Darkesword) actually told me the drums were a bit too loud so I toned em down.

And the lead instruments were screeching a bit I know.

The main melody in the beginning is not so random anymore.

I'll fix the screechy frequencies later (I use a very high Rhodes piano and a Sine Wave so the Sine Wave is def the cause of the screechy problem)

I think I know how to fix the problem that you didn't like with the lead frequencies. Maybe I should tone down the overall velocities of the Sine Wave to get rid of unnecessary screeching.

I don't really care about production until my arrangement is solid.

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And even if my remix was the greatest of all time, it would get rejected just because of that title... XDDDD

Hey, look at some of the songs that get accepted... I don't think any of those names (or even the weird suggestion of mine) would get rejected, if the music was good enough :).

XD Neblixsa isn't a real genre

It is now, bizatch - it needs to be included in all lists of genres.

I don't really care about production until my arrangement is solid.

That's a philosophy that I used to hold, as well... the big problem with it, though, is that if you don't catch some things early, it becomes hell to fix them later.

The replacement of the sax was a good call - I didn't listen to it last time, but I did now. I think the sax could have worked still, but the change wasn't a bad call, at all. Now your music doesn't sound like jazz at all... it sounds like pure, unadulterated Neblixsa.

Yeah, I agree with you on a lot of what you said, Rozo - although I'm terrible when it comes to the shrillness of notes (you noticed that in my own music often enough, lol). The bass is pretty quiet (I personally don't mind how high it is, per se - as long as it's recognizable as a bass) - I'd bring that out a little bit more. Rozo is absolutely right about the drums, though - they sound great, but they have no punch. Keep them down, like you have them, but bring out some of the mid-lower frequencies more.

Compared to before, though, the performance sounds a lot better (I can tell you spent a lot of time with the velocities). There are some cases where more work is needed (like the keyboard at 1:05 - it still is a bit 'mechanical', although the attacks are nice). A rule of thumb - if the volume of an instrument is the exact same from one place to another immediately next to it, then it'll sound mechanical. Varying the sound even by a little bit from note to note will improve the performance dramatically 8).

If you could bring up the volume overall (without clipping, of course), that would be great, and bringing out the melodies would help the music, too. It's not terrible, what you've got now - but it does sound like ambient music, at the moment, as you use the melodies as the textures of the song (which is cool, by the way), so it's difficult to tell what you want the melody of your song to be. If you didn't want a melody for the listener to stick to, then you've done an outstanding job (actually, I don't mind the lack of melody, as long as that was what you wanted - but I doubt it).

Oh, and I like the length of it better, now - that's a perfectly acceptable length for OCR.

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