Guifrog Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 Ribbit! Y'know, I'm still quite excited about my first published mix \@/, and this time I've been messing with arab countries in general. I decided to make a peaceful, yet dancey mix, and thought I'd get some feedback. Follow the link: http://ocrwip.fireslash.net/?fid=861 -> not available anymore http://ocrwip.fireslash.net/?fid=867 Source's the intro theme: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvg_zTUCSI0 I've got a problem with a few arab percussion elements. The ones panned to the right sound okay from the headphones, but turns to be quite loud if I change them for the monitor (in which the sound quality comes terribly low). Is it just my monitor or should I make some adjustments? Also, feel free to express some more crits if needed. ...And that's still a working title, that means "peace (be) upon your heart" if I'm not mistaken ;P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guifrog Posted July 30, 2010 Author Share Posted July 30, 2010 I decided to put it in Mod Review since I've just finished, and thought you'd tell me about the monitor thing I've complained about on the first post ;P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No Escape Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 I'll be honest; It's really tough for me to tell where the low end is unless I can download the track. I would get a Tindeck.com account (which is free) and go from there. This arrangement is decent, but the one percussive element of which you speak sounds overbearing. It's pretty obvious; To me it sounds like a floor tom. I like the variation of the instruments, but for some reason, the drums sound a little bland in general (Maybe it's just me). The woodwind lead is not bad, it just sounds sequenced (the whole track sounds very sequenced, and could use a little velocity adjustment). This track is going somewhere, I would say it needs a little more work though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guifrog Posted July 31, 2010 Author Share Posted July 31, 2010 Actually you can download it, there's a lil' image (the file with a green arrow) below the player that allows you to ;P So, I've made some adjustments on the percussion and general instruments volumes, so there may be no more overbearing levels. Worked on the EQ a bit and made a few transitions smoother. http://ocrwip.fireslash.net/?fid=867 May you guys review? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No Escape Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 Touche' Frog... Alright I listened again and it sounds better now. The low end is too hot. I would take your entire track and shave 3db from 30-125 Hz. Still, this is an enjoyable track and I think the production isn't bad at all. I don't comment of source usage or anything like that because frankly, I'm relatively new here and I don't know what's acceptable in those regards. You'll have to get a veteran to give you that feedback. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guifrog Posted August 2, 2010 Author Share Posted August 2, 2010 Many thanks, No Escape! I was actually asking myself what everybody meant about 'low end', but, after your tip and some research, I think I finally understood and fixed the EQ ^^. So, link updated! And yeah, let's see when the veterans appear for a review ;P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir_Downunder Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 This is sounding really nice. ... When you get the chance, I want to hear you take a theme in a Bollywood direction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
halc Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 enjoyed your recent post, and i'm liking this as well. cool mix of synths and organic sounds. the piano and sitar-ish instrument (whatever that is) aren't the best samples, but they fit decently well with the rest of the instrumentation. the piano just sounds kinda dry imo. great use of hand percussion. it could shine a bit more with some better samples, but production overall is pretty solid. arrangement on the other hand is (while awesome) a bit on the liberal side. i might just be sleepy, but the section that first plays at 1:12 is the only part that's overtly recognizable to me. i can hear some of the progression during other parts but there's a lot of original writing on top. i've been looping this and the source and I'm still having some trouble identifying the direct connections, so perhaps a source breakdown could clear up any misconception anyway, there's some real good stuff here. I look forward to seeing more of your music on the frontpage in the future, nice work Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guifrog Posted August 3, 2010 Author Share Posted August 3, 2010 Oh well, sure ;P 0:08-1:08, 1:28-2:28, 3:51-end => Chord progression's the same as the source chorus's, while flute plays variations from (but intends to focus) the source melody, as does bouzouki (greek instrument that sounds sitar-ish). The intro theme may have a somewhat difficult melody to comprehend, but, take the chorus or 0:56-1:08 (from my ReMix) as an example, so I think you might recognize the rest. 1:12-1:24, 2:32-2:44, 3:36-3:48 => Chord progression's from the middle part from source (as is the piano), and 2:48-3:35 => Everything's original. Many thanks for the feedback, guys! I might visit India again someday; by now, I'll keep touring different countries, as I'd like to try many rhythms as possible. Also, is the title okay for ya? Should I rename it to something easier to read (and say)? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
halc Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 source breakdown is pretty much what I expected it to be. personally, I love all the liberties you've taken with the melodies. the connections are pretty loose, but I think I would be okay passing this if I were a judge. best of luck with the real panel i say keep the mix name! you've already set that trend with your DKR mix anyway Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daybreaker Posted August 15, 2010 Share Posted August 15, 2010 (Disclaimer: I don't speak Arabic.) I think a better translation would be السلام على قابك, or as-salaamu calaa qalbak, but this might sound very odd to any native Arabic speaker as I'm deriving it from the traditional greeting, السلام عايكم, as-salaamu calaiikum. Having commented on the title, I figured I'd better listen to the remix itself... I'm not at all familiar with the source. I can hear some Arabic influences in the percussion at the beginning, but to my ear, it fades out of focus with the entrance of the flute and piano. This sounds very much like a song right out of a video game. The continual up-beat sound and bounciness gets on my nerves after about 30 seconds, I must say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guifrog Posted August 16, 2010 Author Share Posted August 16, 2010 My idea is not to focus on traditional rhythms alone, but to mix them with electronica, as I've already mentioned on my first mix; I also intended to make it sound like Sonic the Hedgehog, by the way. And, as far as I know, as I've got some arab (like Amr Diab, Khaled and Adarghal) and sufi-oriented CDs, along with a few songs on my PC, flute's pretty much used on their music. My mother likes to listen to arab artists too, and enjoys many other things about their culture. I see what you mean by the traditional greeting, though. The lack of "as" is quite common in some native arabic-speaking countries as well, I just thought the way I structured the title would look cooler ;P. I've already submitted the song (along with some flute melody line fixes, so it could stay more loyal to the source), but I think I can always request a change on the title if needed, before the judges evaluate it. Thank you for the comments! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DjMystix Posted August 16, 2010 Share Posted August 16, 2010 Excellent mix. I can really picture this in a sonic game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guifrog Posted June 19, 2011 Author Share Posted June 19, 2011 One year's passed. Time for thread revival! This thing was rejected, and now I'm re-working on it. Adjusted some mastering issues, spiced up the original bit, track sounds cleaner and percussion's less exposed. But I dunno if I've fixed things enough. Also, the judges said the bouzouki doesn't sound realistic, but the way it sounds kinda appeals to me, at least if seen as some type of synth. Blah blah blah, etc the monkeys, and what do you think? http://ocrwip.fireslash.net/?fid=1272 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scrap McNapps Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Oh this sounds quite nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guifrog Posted June 22, 2011 Author Share Posted June 22, 2011 XD Thankies! It does?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
docnano Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 What a bright and cheerful track! I don't think there's a problem with the bouzouki. Sounds kinda like a J-Pop bell synth, in a way, which fits the mood of the track. But if the judges say so, then shikata ga nai... I agree with Daybreaker that I don't hear much of an Arabic influence other than the percussion and some of the instrumentation. Tonality, harmony, and most of the rhythms are totally Western. But I don't see that as a problem, if that's what you're trying to accomplish. If there's one suggestion I could offer, it's that the piano sounds a bit sequenced at times, with velocities too consistent. Other than that, great track! (I won't comment on mixing since that's NOT my forte). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DjMystix Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 I was really surprised to see this mix getting a NO. I think it can perfectly fit in not only in a slow paced Sonic level but can serve as an excellent RPG town music. I'm not a fan of Sonic "3D Blast" music but the lead doesn't feel like too much of a lead (maybe because of too many repetitions). Maybe you'd want to introduce an original piece somewhere in between to break the repeating lead. I don't know; I love it as it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guifrog Posted June 23, 2011 Author Share Posted June 23, 2011 Yeah, well, I do like the way I've arranged it too. Though, the judges had always made it clear for me that, in my mixes, arrangement's good, while production gives a lot to be desired. For example, this one had a really dry, badly EQ'd piano; in the chorus, the instruments seemed to compete for space, as a result of bad mixing; original bit was only about exposed bowed strings; piano and flute sequencing sounded too mechanical. I might probably do slight changes to the velocities on the piano too, as suggested by docnano. I'm looking for feedback on my actual mix anyway, and it would be great to know if I could leave my dear bouzouki-like sound in there ó_ò Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guifrog Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 Um, complainties plz? EDIT: Changed link. OCRwip seems to be down or something. http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?737tsuayfs892ms Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magellanic Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Complaint (jokes, obviously not a complaint) : Its too cool, happy and amazing. I never even heard the source before tonight. I love the percussion and that flute is so cool! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emunator Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Hmmmmm... first off, the arrangement is ace. Love it love it love it!~ I'm still hearing some of the same issues that were addressed in the judges decision thread, but the sample articulation and humanization is a lot better than I remember it. I don't think this should have much of a problem passing if you were already nabbing several YES votes on the original version. The soundscape feels a little thin and lacking in instrumentation, but I dunno man... this arrangement is so strong and your writing is very strong. I'm inclined to say this is passable as-is, to be honest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guifrog Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 YAY, thanks a lot Emu! *_* But I'm not subbin' this until you guys tell me something about the bouzouki issue I'm pointin' out >P (and specific things that might need some fix) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emunator Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 What is a bouzouki? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guifrog Posted July 1, 2011 Author Share Posted July 1, 2011 Ah, um... I mean, nah, it's nothing, really. Nevermind =^_^"= Ok then, unless anyone has other concerns, this is the final question: any complaints about the sitar-ish sounding synth? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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