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Let's Play! Metal Gear Solid: Pokeable Ops

The Damned

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From my times in unstable regions, I automatically think every suspicious object on the ground is a booby-trap. But so far, nothing has blown up in my face. All of these pods contain useful items.

Murphy's Law might have something to say about this...


I've noticed a lot of these ridges along my journey. It's like someone put them there to prevent travel in certain directions.




Slow, lazy and eventually grows into an even fatter, lazier ape-like creature. Named after someone I once knew. Fuck you, Rebecca. I doubt you're reading this, but fuck you, any way.


Only a few, and I plan to eat one later if I have to.


Pirates? But we're nowhere near the coast of Somalia! Or San Fransisco!


No, I don't. But I don't want Otacon to give me another one of his nerd lectures. He brings out diagrams and charts, and he has a laser pointer. He never lets me play with it.


But neither one of us has a ship.


Hard work, training, and proper hygiene will take you far, smelly pirate man.

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He leaks intel like a Chinese safe in a swimming pool.


GRENAAAAAAADE! Oh, it's another kind of containment pod. False alarm, everyone.


And just like a summer breeze, he was gone. For a business man, he was quick and light-footed. Perhaps... too quick and light-footed.



One day, I will fight someone here that isn't an idiot.


I was planning on showing the troops how to snap a neck, and this seems like as good a time as any. The secret is to approach quietly, and then do it in one quick motion. First, to get up behi*SNAP*


This may be why I had to take Jungle Survival three times...


A strange depression in the grass catches my eye. It turns out to be a crude hunting trap, probably set up by a local. It goes off and Syrup gets caught in it. But I do mange to find another containment pod.


I've run low on rations. Recent developments, however, may have fixed that. Bugs are supposed to be high in protein.


Avoiding another civilian puts me right in front of another object. I almost run over to it, but then I remember that this would be the perfect time for Murphy's Law to pop up.

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Item secured. It's some form of narcotic, I think. Best not to let the critters get their snouts into this stuff.


The exit out of the forest is in front of me. The training we had before coming in has paid off. Most encounters were easily fended off, and the few battles with the native population weren't much worse.

But that pirate fellow bothers me... those colors really don't work with his complexion.


OK, this time I know I can show the team how to incapacitate a target. This time, there are no twigs or branches or anything to stop me.

The effects of eating giant bugs on your stomach, on the other hand... I may as well have let off a flashbang grenade.



Snake: So, any of them can learn it?

Otacon: No, actually. Some species can only learn certain attacks. You should use the Technical Machine on one of your pokémon that matches it best.

Snake: And how do I know that?

Otacon: Each species of pokémon have different genetic traits. Your Treecko, for instance, has certain strands of plant DNA. The attack you just got is a based upon plant seeds. See if they're compatible!

Snake: Alright, Otacon, if you say so... but, uh... how do I use these things?

Otacon: Maybe they have to eat it?

In the end, I just decided to deal with it later.


Rations replenished.


I once knew a woman that run a flower shop in Paris. She turned out to be one of the biggest information brokers in Europe. She dealt with everyone; the US, the Cubans, the Russians...

I should recon the building before entering. Who knows what's going on in there.


Recon paid off. I found more supplies, and determined the flower shop was harmless.


Flowers... or classified information? I'm on to you

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Spotting another civilian ahead, I quickly turn and pretend I am checking this sign.


Knowing is half the battle. The other half is strategic bombardment from high altitudes.


My ruse with the sign is effective. I managed to avoid another girl right behind the first one. But the bridge across the pond reveals the reason for the sign I just read.


Twins. They usually have psychic powers, don't they? Am I going to have to plug into the second controller port to defeat them?


The answer is "no".


And you don't know me, either. Get it?


This times 6. He had 6 fucking Magikarps, and not one of them know any kind of attack. MAGIKARP, USE SPLASH!


Defeat is no reason to vomit all over yourself, soldier.


Another path hidden nearby leads to more items. I'm almost as good as Flapcakes is at finding supplies.

Oh, Flapcakes, don't look at me like that. I was only kidding.


Here we are. The outskirts of Rustboro. Somewhere in here is my contact, Roxanne. But where?

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Finally making his way of the forest, Snake has arrived at the front gates of Rustboro City, where he must make contact with Gym Leader Roxanne. DAD has requested the Snake bring him four "badges" from around the island. What purposes do these badges have? What about Snake's primary mission?

Returning to the adventure, right... NOW!


For a place that has been twisting science and nature together, this place seems to be proud of it. Perhaps this is one of the main distribution nodes for the bio-weapons...


Unstable DNA! Mutations! This is just like something out of a video game.

I will start my search for Roxanne by asking the locals about her. This house is as good a place to start as any other.




Nintendo found out I was doing this, and they send me

. Isn't that nice of them?


It's been a while since I last heard from Mei Ling. Good to know I still have friends, somewhere.


If I don't stop this, she will end up as a front-line soldier when she grows up. Cannon-fodder for the men that treat the world and the lives of people like toys.

Not on my watch, soldier.


I decided to stock up on supplies again. My reserves aren't very big, so I should maintain them as well as I can, as often as I can.


The man that owns that boat I found earlier... too bad I can't make use of it now.

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This "Devon Corp" seems to be big business on this island. I've never heard of them before. Must be just starting to get a foothold in the world, starting with here.


A local child has given me a specialty containment pod. I don't know what's so special about it, but it might be a good idea to keep it.


The other people in his building dispense info on Devon Corp like they're made out of brochures. Nothing valuable, but at least I have a better idea of what I'm facing.


Hmmmm... I know that Otacon said no weapons, but a machete is also a farm tool. Perhaps I can find one here, just as a back-up.


He keeps talking, but I'm only hearing one thing: a new weapon for me! Or rather, my pokahmon. I can already see Reaper covered in razor blades, swooping around, slicing everything to ribbons.



I heal up my team, just in case.


A child soldier training center! I better have a look inside...


Another weapon for my team! It seems this one is a quick-strike weapon. Much like my own hands, if I say so myself.


Another building, another chnace to find my contact.


War makes strange creatures of us all.

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The upstairs gives no clue to Roxanne's location.


No one ever appreciates the work of those that support the soldiers. For every man or woman on the frontline, there are dozens of mechanics, medics and staff that keep things running smooth for them. Even the lowliest cook at the mess hall is helping the effort.

I salute the woman, and take my leave.


A break! Turns out these "badges" offer some form of control over the bio-weapons. Something about them makes them more loyal. But trading them seems risky. What if they welch on the deal and take yours before you know it.

But the extra growth could prove to be a benefit... If I can find someone that I can take in a fight, should they try anything...

This place might be the answer.



Small defenseless girl detected! Beginning trade! Objective complete!


Hardy, eh? I wonder if he knows those two detective boys back in the States.




I'm in the area, I should take this opportunity to see what's going on at this Devon Corp.


The guard to the offices is too big to deal with on my own, and he could have back-up in a second's notice. I'll have to sneak in somehow.

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I have managed to find Roxanne's base of operations. The sign eluded my sight until just now.


Once inside, I am greeted, quite enthusiastically, by a man by the door. He's a talker, and I can't help but wonder if he's trying to squeeze info from he.


Time to find this Roxanne and get this badge of hers.


Cunning. She has young boys act as guards by having them "train" in the corners. This way, she can keep herself concealed. The boys must be disposable... such disregard for life... it makes me sick.


I once set off a rock slide to stop a convoy of trucks. The losses were heavy,and the cargo was lost in the river below.


You men I have to fight her to get the badge? DAD didn't mention this part!


Having Stidge chew on a living rock wasn't going so well. I decided to see if this "grass-beats-rock" hocus-pokus was true.

Turns out, it is.


Hmmm, the kid may be right. There's no sense in risking a fight when you can take the time to prepare for it.


I give Reaper the Quick Claw. He's already fast, but this gives him an even greater edge. If Things go wrong, I will order him to take out Roxanne directly.

I remember that I have another ace up my sleeve: that Technical Machine thing Otacon told me about. If it's compatible with any of my team, it could be useful in this battle.


Steyr can now shoot seeds with the force of a bullet! With training, i may be able to use him instead of a gun... or maybe even as a gun!


Time to see what this seed-spitting lizard can do...

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I approach her, ready for anything.



She leads with the same rocky creature her subordinates had. Steyr makes quick work of it.


I've seen armor piercing rounds go through boulders. These seeds that Steyr is shooting, though, seem to bounce right off of the opponent. But they are hitting hard enough to knock them out.


This one seems to be some sort of scent-based creature. It might be able to sniff out its opponent's weakness and attac- never mind.


Mission complete!


One down, three to go... then I can get back to my original mission.


As an attempt to spare her, she tries to bribe me with a gift. I have no interest in harming such a young girl, but I don't refuse her token.


Way ahead of you there, missy. I've got three more to go, and there's plenty of training along the way.


Yes, the taste of victory is exciting, but a true soldier knows that that taste is fleeting.

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Roxanne was sooooo into me, but she's too young and I hae more important things to do.

But as I made my way out of the building...


That pirate looks familiar... And so does the guy chasing him.


Following him turns out to a reunion, of sorts, He's the man I saved back in the forest.


He dresses the same as the people back at that Devon Corp building... if he's one of them, I may be able to use him to get in.

A stray critter attacked s, but Steyr took it out before I could even issue an order.


But that's not the important thing. His mutated right before me... He's bigger, stronger and faster than before, even with the training I gave him.


And now he's got the razor-sharp claws to use it.

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Snake has faced and defeated Roxanne of the Rustboro Gym. Rewarded with the first of four Badges, he learns that they have beneficial effects Pokémon, and now knows why DAD seeks them. But upon leaving the Gym with his prize, Snake witnesses a man dressed like a pirate shouting and running through the streets. Immediately behind him is an out of breath businessman, who seems strangely familiar...

The Location: The island of Hoenn.

The Objective: To stop Pokémon from being used against the world.

The Target: The Elite Four, top ranked Pokémon trainer.

The Reason: Because I'm fucking bored right now.

Bare witness to Snake fighting against mercenaries, ninjas and terrorists (at some point) as he continues his adventure... NOW!


I just remembered an old TV show that had the best episode recap ever. But daydreaming almost gets me spotted by a series of random people. So far, all these paths are filled with either bored natives looking for a fight or possible spies and mercenaries. Whoever they are and whatever they want, I should avoid them as much as possible.


An obviously unhappy man in front of a house tells me of his troubles. It seems he and a work crew have been trying to dig a tunnel through these foothills for the general population.


Flapcakes has again proven to be useful in securing supplies. Good work, soldier. Good work. If you had a vest and I had a medal, I'd pin one on you right now.


Stidge is falling behind on her training. The "Rare Candy" steroid seems to do the trick, and she develops a new attack on her own. It's a basic maneuver, but it should be effective against lesser-trained opponents.


These damn shrubs are blocking the way, and they are so think and full of thistles that I can't make my way past them. I need a way to hack them down... Wait, that Cutter fellow... he gave me something.


Flapakes may be an expert at digging up items for us, but he still has to be able to fight by himself. Even a basic level of CQC will aid him, and hopefully, us, should we get into a prolonged battle.


He takes to the shrubs like a psycho-murderer in a sorority house from a bad 80s movie. I wonder if I can train him to hold a knife...


Cutting down other shrubs gives me a path to avoid some people hiding (very badly) in the trees. Flapakes seems to be enjoying his new training. Learning new skills is a serious morale boost for new recruits. Letting them put it to good use only increases their morale, and gives them more training, perfecting their skill.


Another strange vial. I have yet to find out what these do. But for now, I will keep them. They may come in handy.

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Nothing else to do here. I'd better go find this pirate and get that Devon parcel back.


The pirate has stolen this old man's bio-weapon. I don't know what I'll be facing in there now.

His crying seems to be genuine concern for the well-being of it. It's not strange to grow a fondness for a weapon. I have a few back home that I would miss should I lose them. Like my QCQ knife. I named it Susan. And my SOCOM pistol, that's Bertha, as in "big". And my favorite stealth suit, that's Edwar... uhm, never mind.


This must be the tunnel the worker talked about before. The sign says so, and there are no other tunnels in sight. My recon skills haven't dulled at all!


A fog fills the tunnel. It's cold, damp, dark. Even with the light from the entrance, it's not easy to see.




Another containment pod. If I can keep my team streamlined and not need to get too many others, I may be able to take this back to Otacon, and have him look at it. We may be able to use it for our own goals, and keep it out of the hands of those that would use it for global war.

Coming down from that ledge leads me face-to-face with the pirate from before.

Seriously, he looks like a fucking pirate. Look at him.


Poor planning and terrible fashion sense have put you in a corner, Long John Stupid. Also, avast, mizzenmast, savey, Johnnie Depp!


No. I want to watch my rodent, bird and dog beat your rodent, bird or dog into the ground. It will be for them to see how far their training has taken them.


This is actually a bad opponent for Troi. Being a Psychic type means she has a weakness to Dark types, which Poochyena most certainly is. Plus, Dark types are immune to Psychic attacks. Troi has no means to fight here. That combined with her low defenses and Poochyena's decent stats make this an unfavorable fight. Switching out to just about anything else is a good idea.

Like, say, a bird named after a deadly robotic flying machine of death.


But your career as a punching bag for newbies has just begun.

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BOSS? Big Boss? But how!? No, it can't be. It must be someone else with the same name.

I manage to retake the Devon package from the pirate. He takes off before I can stop him.


That pause... is he getting intel on me from someone? Or is he old and senile? The bird thing makes me wonder...


It turns out that I've helped the man that owns the boat I saw outside of Petalburg. If I can persuade him to sail me to the next town, I can complete this little side-trip.


Checking my watch, I have less than ten hours on the "clock" back at MOMs house.


I planned to crawl through the opening in the tunnel to the other side, but I can see from here that's it's blocked by large rocks and boulders. Even if I had some explosives, I might end up collapsing the cave. Then there are those pink things that live in here... best not to risk it.


Goon? No, he was a pirate. Goons are horrible people that waste their lives on websites, playing silly games and making silly movies about them.

"Goon" in this case is a subtle reference to the Something Awful forum users. A "goon" is a member, and it turns out that one of the localization team members is a member of the SA forums. He not only worked on the English script for Pokémon RSE, but also Fire Red and Leaf Green, as well as Diamond, Pearl and Platnium, and many other Pokémon titles. He slipped in many memes into the dialog of DPPt, like "my pokémon is full of fight" and a character saying they will attack you for "massive damage". Sadly, as of 2008, he is no longer employed to translate pokémon games. Still, worked on a decade worth of titles, and inserted funny jokes and lines that fellow internet users could get a few chuckles out of.

His game credit is given as Nob Ogasawara. Go check out how many of the games he's worked on.


I have no idea what those things are. I suspect this is misinformation.


Machinery? Ones with... METAL GEARS!?


So... you're unionized? *


It would also prevent microphones from picking up the sounds of digging. It would take longer, but if you need to keep your tunnel secret, it would help immensely.

*I'm in a union, so I can make this joke. Don't gt all uptight about it.

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Time to get back to Rustboro.


It's a creepy bug, but at least it's tastier looking than the last one I had.


Can you see the grammatical error in the pokédex entry?


GRENA- Oh, false alarm. False alarm, everyone.


I haven't heard those words since Bangkok, and that didn't turn out so well...


The one that I risked myself and my team to get back for you? THAT ONE?


With him gone, I might be able to slip out and check this place out for myself.


That's right, just keep walking aw- oh shit he's coming back already!


I've met presidents before. Big countries, small countries Leaders of empires and corporations. Most were just politicians or lawyers that rose up to power. Some were corrupted by it. A few were decent men that had to make due with what they inherited from the last generation. Only one ever came across as a human being, with all his faults and strengths laid bare for others to see. A real man, not afraid to do what was needed, and take action when it was called for...


.. And this man was him.

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Your man should have had protection if he was going to be a target for thieves and terrorists, sir.


Dewford? I've never heard of it before, sir. But if you are asking me...


Is that like Jake in Michigan? Or Steve from Canada? Are there many Stevens in Hoenn?




Thank you, sir. I know, sir. I was just going over it right now, sir.


I outrank a Captain. I was once a general in the Tunisian army. It was mostly for tax reasons, though. Don't tell the IRS.


Truly, a great man, that President Stone. I hope to meet him again some day, when this is all over.

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With the president requesting the delivery of important documents and a precious cargo to two VIPs, I have to hurry. I'm running out of time and I am constantly getting side-tracked by random encounters with the locals.


I suspected that Devon Corp. was involved in this bio-weapon mess. It's a bitter taste in my mouth to find out how far they were in. My impression of the president is slightly tainted, but still favorable.


This endeavor would help me greatly in my mission. If I were here longer, I could definitely use it. But my window is rapidly shrinking.


To see, maybe even enter the dreams of these creatures... That's like something out of a movie.





No man should be able to see the dreams of others!


Did you not SEE those movies? Have any of you ever seen any movies? You're science nerds, you must have seen at least one sci-fi movie. It always ends badly.


The president has opened the doors of his company to me. I can visit anytime I want. I hope that when this is over, and I have neutralized the biological weapon threat, that his company will be able to survive the fallout.

Time to get going.

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