Let's Play! Metal Gear Solid: Pokeable Ops

[StarZander]

What happen?!

[The Damned]

Project stuff came up, so no new chapter, sorry everyone.

I just realized something. It's a week until Black and White comes out. Even if I constantly play and update this until it comes out, I'd never get much further than maybe past the third gym. That's only about a quarter of the way through the game, factoring in all the Team Aqua related stuff.

We all know that I'm going to be playing Black and White, just as you guys will be, pretty much non-stop after it comes out. There's just too much temptation, and we've been waiting for it for months.

Pokeable Ops will continue, just not as much as we would all like, for a while. Once I've gotten a good amount of time into BW, I'll keep at this. Snake hasn't failed a mission yet.

[The Damned]

Snake, international man of mystery, has helped a local business man, only to find out he works at the secretive Devon Corp. Snake's meeting with its president, however, has gained him a new ally in the company and a new tool, the PokéNAV. With GPS and tracking abilities, it will surely aid Snake in his mission. Snake also saved the bio-weapon of a local fisherman, Mr. Briney. His reward: a boat ride to the next town, should he make it back to the old man's house on the beach.

The Point: I'm bored and lonely.

The Reason: It's fucking cold outside.

The Team: Snake and his elite squad of Pokémon.

Our mission resumes in 3... 2... 1... RIGHT NOW!

I take my leave of the Devon Corp. building and heal up.

I spot May standing in the middle of the town park when I come out. I quick somersault to the side gives me cover in the form of a sign.

must not make testicle joke...

Let's hope he's as good as you say he is... otherwise this is going to be a short boat ride.

I just remembered that the road south still has guards and locals i avoided the first time through here. I need to move on, and avoid them again.

I've never been very good with children, and these two give me the creeps.

GET OUT OF MY MIND, PSYCHIC TWINS!

Another random item. Best grab it.

Come here, giant bugs, Reaper needs a snack...

Fuck you, trees. Now I'm your commanding officer.

[The Damned]

A local hippy has decided to give an item that my Steyr can use. Even hippies can be useful sometimes.

Strategic ledge hopping. I am totally not saying "wheee" as I jump down them.

Flapcakes pulls through again!

Seriously, this is a lot of Rare Candies, even for the more forgiving Ruby/Sapphire version of Pick-Up. In Emerald and later games, the item you get is based upon the level of the pokémon with Pick-Up. But here, it's random all the time, so you have the same chance of getting really valuable stuff as you do utter crap. That I've gotten this many in such a short amount of playtime is unusual.

The man was later found in a pitfall trap that some damn kids in white outfits had made with their pet cat.

Another vial. My team is getting too big for those smaller doses, but I can still use it for new recruits or for minor injuries.

Thank god I'm out of these woods. I hate forests, and if I had my way, all wars would take place where giant bugs didn't live.

The old man's house. I feel kind of bad about getting an old guy like that to take me to the next town, but without him, I can't complete the mission.

You sick, lonely, sad little man. That bird is only 14!

I find it strange how he knows so many things about my recent meetings... could he be a spy?

I'll dump his body in the water if anything happens.

[The Damned]

I just now see how small a boat it really is, and have concerns for how sturdy it might actually be. But we seem to fit. It's seems bigger on the inside.

GET OUT OF THE WATER! There are monsters in there! Good god, man, don't you have anything to live for?

For such an old boat, it sure is fast. We cut across the waves like a knife against the arms of an emo kid. This old man isn't just some retired fisherman; he's a true expert.

I don't recall mentioning any names, you know.

I'M ON TO YOU.

Confirmation of location: confirmed.

Time for some recon.

A few moments of pain later, I decided that it's not a good idea after all.

Silk scarf? That reminds me of flying. Flying... like Reaper. If I can get him some goggles and a little cap...

This Brawly seems to be a big figure among the townspeople. I should check him out.

He eventually out his pants back on and gave me an old fishing reel from his bag.

[The Damned]

Recon has yielded positive results. My training has paid off, once again.

GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! GHOST MURDERER! SHOOT HIM SHOOT HIM SHOO- oh, it's you again.

That's great intel. But why is it so dark in h-

I guess I'll have to wait until my eyes adjust. Of course, if I had my trusty night-vision goggles, this wouldn't be a problem.

Ow. Ow again.

NINJAS!

Bide is totally useless. In the time it takes to be work, you're almost dead, and the damage it deals is hardly ever enough to make up for it. Fuck Bide.

Except this time,where it totally worked.

Reaper's claws, wings and beak act like a Swiss army knife of avian fury. Yeah, that's right. I know what avian means. Otacon isn't the only one that knows fancy words.

Reaper has grown again. His appetite for bugs has moved onto an appetite for muscly flesh.

Good thing I'm his commander, or else he'd see me as an all-night buffet.

[The Damned]

Darkness offers the advantage of concealment, but only by stepping out into the light can we truly see what we've become.

I decide to give Reaper the silk scarf... because he look cool with it on. Stidge gets the claw to help her get some faster bites in.

I don't get how a claw makes biting easier, but I run with it.

Another gym guard! And this one makes terrible lines about the situation at hand!

One hit wonder.

And my breath refreshing and minty

This fight was over so fast, I forgot to take pics of it. It was nothing.

With every passing moment, my eyesight become adjusted to the darkness. It's still not perfect but I can make my way around well enough to see a man sitting in a room by himself.

Best be prepared. Reaper armed and ready!

My contact has been found, but he has mistaken me for the enemy! He even decides to use a dramatic effect to try and surprise me.

[Soul Splint]

Beautiful. Get it out while you can, only five days remain until we all become slaves.

[The Damned]

Reaper makes mincemeat of the little guy, but the next opponent isn't as easy.

A quick series of jabs with its hands has left Reaper down for the count. At ease, soldier... at ease.

Troi takes it out with her freaky powers. Oh good, I think she heard my thoughts. Think of something else! Mary had a little lamb, little lamb,little lamb...

DAD sent me to come get it, you know. You could have just handed it over and not tried to kill me.

Surfer jerk.

That was uncalled for. I apologize.

Troi will be wearing a large coat from now on.

I wish I could use this on a tank or an armored personnel carrier. It would come in handy sometimes.

I would prefer flash-band grenades to create astonishment, but you work with what you have.

So bright, you have to wear specially-made ocular protective-coated visors, designed so they reduce the amount of harmful light wavelengths so the point you can safely see.

This battle is over, and Reaper is down. I need him up and about for the road ahead.

[Soul Splint]

"Troi will be wearing a large coat..."

[Darklink42]

This series is genius. Keep up the

[The Damned]

Having spent several weeks underground, the author remembers that he promised to work on this more ofte... what do you mean, this is for explaining the story? This is part of the story. It's called breaking the fourth wall, you idiot! Read a fucking book once and a while. Authors have used it before. They have so! You know what? Fuck you.

Snake beat up Brawly, got some badge, went to a pokécenter. Blah, blah, blah. You've waited long enough, you can't unwait it!

Our mission resumes... NOW!

Oh, come on! I just had my attack bird slapped by a deformed midget. At least give us some time to breathe.

This island needs it's own postal service...

While looking for Steven, I stumbled across a smelly homeless man.

From the smell emanating from his clothing, I suspect he found his own answer. Not only has he gone, but he has gone several times this week. The warm climate only makes the smell worse.

He sends some sort of jellyfish out to fight... on dry sand. Tactically, this was not a good start.

I gotta felling...

... that this is gonna be a big one. That this is gonna be a big one. That this one is gonna be a big, big one. I gotta feeling... WOHOOOOO HOOOOOO!

Fishing rods don't have buttons!

Searching the nearby shore, I stumble upon... narcotics! This must be the local version of angledust, a potent narcotic, and illegal in most countries. But turning it over to the local authorities would put my mission in jeopardy; they must be crooked at hell to allow the island to be taken over for biological weapon development... if they even exist, that is.

I'll dispose of it later, where no one can find it.

Indeed, the path of drugs has led me to a dead end. It's just like that drug awareness commercial I made for the new recruits while in Militaires Sans Frontieres. Too many kids these days, getting into the wrong stuff. Now war, that's a healthy hobby.

Another homeless man. He's sleeping between two rocks, making it easy to avoid him.

With Briney demanding I deliver the letter, and no other place to go, I decide to try the cave. Surely Steven must be somewhere.

[Kenogu Labz]

Breaking the fourth wall should be done tactically, though; see Princess Bride.

Awesome to see you're coming back to this!

[The Damned]

Located directly across from Salty Water Ocean, down the street from Sand Beach, just off Highway Asphalt.

HM05 is Flash, a rather useless, but required, move to use in most of the Pokémon games. In battle,it lowers the opponents accuarcy, so their attacks hit you less often. This doesn't affect moves that have absolute accuracy, like Aerial Ace, though.

Out of battle, it's the only way to see in the dark caves that are scattered about the various lands that make up the Pokémon world. You can walk around them in total darkness, but it's much easier with Flash active.

Troi will must definitely be wearing a coat after we get out of here.

I can use this for securing prisoners before interrogation. Or climbing out of holes, I guess. But interrogation sounds fun too.

I can't believe Otacon wouldnt let me take my night-vision googles with me. They're SO COOL!

It turns out that Troi doesn't really have anything to flash, so I guess we're sa... Troi just looked at me with hate spewing forth from her eyes.

I think she heard me.

This ledge is unclimbable... I must be getting old.

A horrible cave crab attacks me! But it turns out to not be a crab at all, but some sort of goblin or ghost or something. It looks like it could be imposing... plus it lives in these dark caves. It could be a natural at stealth.

It looks like it likes to dress up in fancy jewels. Kids these days call it "bling" and use it to establish some sort of social status among their group.

A few tours in Nam would have straightened them out. But now it's just a tourist destination... Thanks a lot, peace talks.

I have high hopes for this one... should he make it through boot-camp.

[The Damned]

The ladders in this cave are put in randomly. It's like they were trying to prevent easy access to each level.

These cracked, jagged rocks look out of place here. Caves like this are formed by slow, continuous erosion from water. These ones are flat on the bottom, but rough on the tops and sides. It's like they were placed here. But without time or the strength to check them out, I'll have to ignore them for now.

A strange stone. I'll have Otacon take a look at it later.

No he won't. Everstones are almost useless until later games. If you let a pokémon hold it, it won't evolve, no matter what you do to it: level it up, trade it, use an item on it... nothing will work as long as it has it. Later games add the ability to pass down Natures when breeding... but not in Ruby and Sapphire. That was only added in Emerald, which came out a few years later.

Heh. Snake and ladders. Comedy gold.

A light in a small cave draws me to it, and inside I find a young man in a suit.

You weren't asked to think.

The President's son has been found. The precious cargo has been delivered. Objective complete!

A new attack for one of my bio-weapons! But who could use something like a metal wing?...

Steel Wing is a Steel type attack that Flying types can learn. Introduced back in the old Gold and Silver games, it was one of the first Steel type moves you cam across It was pretty much the signature move of the Steel and Flying type, Skarmory. Steel Wing is a decent choice for Flying types, as it hits Rock and Ice, two of the three major weaknesses Flying has, for super effective damage. Sadly, it's not that powerful...

Oh, duh.. Steel WING. This would be perfect for Flapcakes.

At ease, Reaper, I was just kidding.

While I was inspecting the new item, Steven managed to exit quietly.

[The Damned]

Is everyone on this damn island trained? Or am I just getting too old for fighting?

I honestly meant to roll and jump down those ledges. It was a tactical move, and totally not a stumble.

Flapcakes has found yet another item. A salute and a pat on the head isn't good enough for this soldier, but it's all I can offer him now.

OK, this is like, Rare Candy number 10000 or something. Flapcakes has found so many Rare Candies this game, that I think there is some sort of random number generation glitch or something. Usually, you have to wait forever to get even a few, and I've gotten, like... six or so by now? Keep up the good work, Flapcakes!

I've been to war on every single heap of dirt on the planet, and this old man and his bird disturb me...

Once in the water, I spot random people swimming in the water. How is it that they can swim around while I have to wait until I can find the means to circumnavigate the barriers in place around all the waterways?

Then I see why they are in the water. I'll arrange for a rescue boat to come get them.

The old man is a speed demon behind the wheel. I wonder if his retirement was of his own choice, or if it was forced upon him for his reckless boating.

I never should have told him about my current objective. If he was captured and tortured, he could give the enemy my location. Even me being on his boat puts him in danger. I must keep civilian casualties at a minimum.

The last time I was on a beach, it was at night under stormy clouds, landing upwind from a guard house on a small inflatable raft launched from a sub.

Welcome to Slateport... the island's center for trafficking and black market deals.

[The Damned]

This much is true. From what I picked up from the locales, as well as the limited intel on the city, this is where all the dirty business transactions take place. The market looks clean and bright, but behind it all is dark rooms at the end of filthy halls, where people give and take in things that would make you doubt the existence of a merciful god.

Addicts. They come in all forms. What's this one hooked on? Gambling? Hardcore porn? Maybe even snuff films? This place makes me wish someone would drop the bomb on it.

Steroids! This man is selling bio-weapon enhancers. Either he's got some real solid balls to do this under the nose of the Elite Four.. or he's one of theirs. Cover both the legit and the illegitimate sides, and control everything.

My attempt to ask about where the Stardust came from results in him quickly buying it from me. Before I can even try to take it back from him, he shoves money in my hand and hides the bag behind him. I can't afford the trouble getting it back would cause.

Does this make me a drug dealer?

All I smell is the suffering of humanity. The entire place reeks of sin and corruption...

I know the economy is tough, but having to join a cult just to get discounts is getting a bit ridiculous.

Walking out of the market is like walking out of the mud: it gets easier with every step you take away from there.

I'll beat this "fan club" is more likely some sort of red light district. No thanks. This sailor only sleeps with one lady: combat.

He would shit bricks when he heard my name. It's an awesome name.

[The Damned]

I don't think they make bikes in your size.

Besides, some boot-camp style cross-country running would do you some good.

Stern is a captain, and captains usually hang out by boats. A harbor is a place that has boats.

Therefore, Captain Stern is in the harbor.

Which means that there are no boats here. Well, fucknuggets.

If you're willing to serve on a dangerous rust-bucket filled with lots of sweaty men, then you can serve in the navy. Which navy,... that's up to you.

I think it's more of a weight restriction than anything else.

Wait... are you crying? Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by that.

If a boat was available right now, I could go straight to Evergrande City and fight the Elite Four in a matter of minutes.

But DAD's request stated four badges, not one. And I need his help to get my mission completed.

This is going to be a long day.

[Soul Splint]

Yay, another update! You're totally going to do this with the 4th and 5th gens too, right?

[Chernabogue]

Yeah, cool, you're back! Looking forward the next epidodes!

[The Damned]

I've had enough of this... time to get going. Stern can pick this thing up from the next town. I've got objectives to complete.

Either way, there could be landmines. I'd suggest a metal detector and a bomb defusing kit.

I can drop the parcel off here, and call someone to tell Stern to come and get it.

Yes, hello, I'd like to leave this box here fo-

I don't even get a chance to explain that I don't want to walk on the road, I just want to leave Stern's parcel. She won't hear any of it.

Great. Rejects from a Village People tribute band.

I've located Team Aqua's C-Team. C as in, "Can block a road off if they try hard enough"...

I've decided to try finding Stern one more time. He deserves to receive his mail, I suppose.

In the back alleys, behind closed doors, in the basements, any where prying eyes can't see them... Reminds me of a Frank Miller movie.

Oh god, more of them.

[The Damned]

Because the Village People need that ticket money, damn it! The disco industry hasn't exactly been doing well the last thirty years.

Like Double Dragon. The local bar by our army base had two arcade machines, and Double Dragon was my favorite. The other one was something about killing vampires with whips, but I never got into it.

At least you can't be court-martialed. Half the time, they just shoot you for screwing up.

Museum? I thought this was a concert for the Village People! I gotta check that sign.

Excuse me, pardon me, coming through...

This isn't the concert hall at all! It's the local museum!

I can tell you one thing he isn't doing with it: having the best damn music act from 1978 perform in it!

Teenagers and their flash mobs... all they do is wait until someone texts them on their cell phones and then they run around like sheep until someone blows the whistle to leave.

The young girl with the big hair seems desperate to get in first. She must really love museums. At least she's not into drugs or that Beiber girl.

I guess i should check out the rest of the area for Stern. He must be around here somewhere.

[The Damned]

Damn hippies...

Protip: sea captains may also be found at shipyards named after them.

Entering, I see some lab coat monkeys and blueprints. Only one guy stands out from everything else. He's big, sweaty and looks like a coronary waiting to happen.

After his confusing mumbling, he does mange to tell me that Stern is, in fact, not in his own shipyards. Protips, you've failed me again!

Stern has to be here somewhere... but I've checked all the usual places.

I see that the pirate convention has ended. They must have rioted once learning that the Village People weren't playing tonight.

It's not so mysterious. It's lots of water with lots of icky things swimming in it. The deeper you go, the more water and icky things there are. Scientific fact.

Might as well check it out. I haven't been to a museum in years. I wonder if they're still boring as hell...

And before I know it, those damn volunteers behind the counter mange to sucker me for a donation. Damn, they're good.

[The Damned]

Oh god, he's back for revenge! GET DOWN!

It turns out that he meant to give me a gift. I feel a little bad about snapping his wrist backwards when he handed me the TM.

Hmmm, a TM-46 anti tank mine... this could be usef- oh, it's another bio-weapon attack.

TM 46 is Thief, a Dark-type attack that not only does damage, but also lets the pokémon using it take the held item of the opponent... assuming a few things, though. First, the pokémon using Thief can't be holding it's own item. Second, the defending pokémon doesn't have an ability that prevents items from being removed, like Sticky Hold or Multi-Type. Lastly, depending upon the game, if your own pokémon has Thief used on it, you can permanently lose your item. This is fixed in later generations.

But aside from being able to grab certain items that wild pokémon might have... Thief is actually kind of useless. In-game, there are more powerful attacks, and the chances of finding any good items from wild pokémon is so low.

The pirates have taken over the museum. This is just like one of my nightmares! Except Ben Stiller isn't here, so it's not that bad. Kind of relaxing, actually.

Don't worry, brat. I covered it for you.

Like displacing water by putting a large object into it, or maybe even using moving water to slowly erode rock formation. Yes, the criminal applications are endless.

If you idiots had taken care of the Elite Four for me, I wouldn't have to be here.

Only in knowledge, my friend. Only in knowledge.

Your boss has an odd name. And since his name is a proper noun, that should be "The Lynchpin".

This island's education system needs some work.

Don't you know that you're supposed to be quiet in libraries and museums? Show some god damned manners, for fuck's sake.

My impromptu education of the locals is distracting me from finding Captain Stern. Upstairs, I finally find him.

[The Damned]

You guys need to spend more on a postal system and less on making animals fight each other. I'm a soldier, not a mailman.

I can hear the sounds of peg-legs and buckled shoes...

They're the local comedy act. They specialize in looking stupider every time you see them.

Yap is actual pirate speak. It means "pie=hole" or "noise-making part of your face". I once had to infiltrate a Somalian pirate crew when hostages were taken. Otacon spend days researching ways to help me blend in.

The mission went tits-up when I fit in a little too well... My perfect pirate speak must have given me away. A series of explosions and some minor collateral losses later, and the hostages were returned safely home.

On this island, "yap" must mean "I want to pit my bio-weapons against yours", because the pirate sent his team out.

This battle has not gone as planned. Stidge is still too weak to outright assault. I need to toughen her up a lot more.

Flapcakes avenges Stidge, and the battle is over. Fallen comrades and the desire for revenge can be powerful motivators in war... but they can also drive one mad with grief and rage.

Flapcakes, you are not alone. You have teammates and a commanding officer that you can trust in.

BIG BOSS? Where?!

Oh, his boyfriend in the matching outfit wants to get even.

Flapcakes is slowly winding down from Stidges defeat. I can see the anger leaving his system. He'll be alright.