MC Ardle Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 http://soundcloud.com/evan-mcardle/shadow-serenade This was originally meant to be a peaceful, soothing version of the action-packed Final Boss theme at the end of Paper Mario 2 (Thousand Year Door). Those who know the context of the song may find this disturbing (especially when I add the Shadow Queen's voice later). The song's style changes roughly around the middle, and changes back later on. Tell me what you think about this (and other aspects). Shadow Queen's Theme: http://www.vgmusic.com/music/console/nintendo/gamecube/PM_Ttyd_Final_Battle.mid and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71mazbRqsi4 Shadow Siren's Theme: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RN0BqiG4_Q Also, a BIG shout out to FaytxStay, who has been working on his own version of this song for, like, a year. @Everyone else: please don't compare our ReMixes to each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nonamer Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Interesting take on this song...I like it a lot! So far nothing comes to mind in regards to specifics. The instrumental choice is decent, and nothing is particularly grating to the ears. Great job. Anyone else have commentary? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaytxStay Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 I'll have my commentary in a moment. I'm doing repeated listens, but take anything I say with a grain of salt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strike911 Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 Intro is cool. It does go a little long. The length of that build up doesn't really justify the pay off at the end. The overdriven guitar sample should be adjusted. It sounds pretty fake. I dig the overall vibe though. It has a very airy feel and that's cool. I'd like to see it go to new parts and deviations from the source tune a little more. It sounds cool, but it hangs on the same few notes. With that said, its very relaxing and chill. :] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordGavin Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 Aye, and interesting take on the song. Being a fan of mellow music (mainly Celtic variations), this sort of this is something I can enjoy. However, I agree with Strike. The guitar sounds very bad and should be subbed out for another, better sound. Besides that, I can only say that the techno beat that comes in around the time the guitar first does crackles quite a lot and kind of breaks the mellow mood your going for. If you could soften it, or find a better substitute for the sound, I'm sure it would work better. Otherwise, well done. I'd find it hard to do such mellow music right, so good on you for doing it as well as you have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MC Ardle Posted August 6, 2011 Author Share Posted August 6, 2011 Update: Guitar is no longer obnoxiously loud when the electronic drums come in. The crackling heard is part of the drum loop, and I'm keeping that in, since breaking the peaceful mood was my intention. Near the end, the guitar is replaced with a short, original piano piece, which fits better, in my opinion. I learnt how to do a wobble bass effect (kind of), so now it sounds more like I had first imagined. I was meant to add some vocals, which is meant to be the Shadow Queen's voice, just before the drums, but I haven't yet. Here:http://soundcloud.com/evan-mcardle/shadow-serenade Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MC Ardle Posted August 11, 2011 Author Share Posted August 11, 2011 Hello? Anyone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shake Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Hello? Anyone? Hiiiiiii, you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GravitySuitCollector Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Okay, here are some things you might consider, although, I'm most likely under-qualified to make such comments. Anyways: 1. Maybe switch out the voice and piano samples with something better. They sound like they're from the general midi thing, amirite? Find a good VSTi, even (there are quite a few free ones). 2. Volume, change it up a bit. With the piano part, for example, it feels flat. Put more emphasis on the downbeat, for example. Also, you might try bringing its base level up, or something like that, so it stands out a bit more. As it is, too, it feels like the highs are a bit strong, and there's not enough mids in the song (to me, anyway). Just back up your work, try messing with different things for a bit, and see how it sounds. 3. Try changing up the high chiming thing that turns into the sine/analog wave thingy's phrase (around 0:36) a bit as you go along (slightly repetitive). Maybe remove a note at the end of a measure or something? As the song is, every note in the song between voices has almost the same start, too. It makes it feel a bit clustered. Also, some spacing between note start and end would be nice ( this can be changed up, too). It helps break up musical phrases into more definite chunks. Anyways, this mainly is said from a listener perspective. I am not a pro at all, so my descriptions and advice might be a bit shaky; i still feel that some of the things I say, though, might be worth a try. I hope some of this helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magellanic Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Its really nice. You got a fantastic atmosphere going. I felt a little bit cheated though as I was expecting a more of a build and a climax, but thats just a personal preference. At 2.03 it starts feeling like something big is gonna happen, but it then fades and returns to the same as the start with a few extra sprinkles. Regardless though of what I've put above, I would say that there needs to be more motion, or a better way of putting it - texture, especially at the beginning. The same pad is used at the same octaves and harmonies all the way through. Try introducing something to fill out the mid and lower octaves, even over the first two minutes. With the backing being in that high range throughout, the mix never feels grounded or settled. Its a fantastic vibe for an introduction. I can really see what you're trying to do but even with creating atmosphere and massive space, doesnt mean there can't be variation and a few more parts dispersed throughout the mix. One thing that would work well, is instead of having the full melody at 0.36 played. Just start with the first bar, leave it a bit, then continue the phrase etc. Play with the space you have, you can make it feel larger with a little creative panning. Try some automation with putting the odd broken phrase appearing to left, then answering on the right. The lead in the first two minutes could be echo'd with another synth. Try adding stuff and taking away. I defintiely feel like you need to add some kind of variation to the pad, or more specifically the "aaahs" as it gets a little incessant. A lot here I know, but its really captured my imagination and you have a foundation for a really epic and chilled ReMix. Just keep going, even if you feel like at times Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MC Ardle Posted August 23, 2011 Author Share Posted August 23, 2011 Here's the most recent version: How is it now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GravitySuitCollector Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 It's getting better, alright. I'm enjoying it some more now. I'll post what I think after a bit more listening between the older and the newer, edited versions (Soundcloud isn't liking me right now ). Anyways, keep it up! EDIT: Meh, I'm not so sure what else to say (It's beyond my listening abilities ) One thing, maybe, is a bit less panning with the answer/call part in the beginning (Not too much of a decrease, though). It's almost a bit distracting (I guess), but I still like it. Anyways, keep going; you can do it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Level 99 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Its really nice. You got a fantastic atmosphere going. I felt a little bit cheated though as I was expecting a more of a build and a climax, but thats just a personal preference.At 2.03 it starts feeling like something big is gonna happen, but it then fades and returns to the same as the start with a few extra sprinkles. Regardless though of what I've put above, I would say that there needs to be more motion, or a better way of putting it - texture, especially at the beginning. The same pad is used at the same octaves and harmonies all the way through. Try introducing something to fill out the mid and lower octaves, even over the first two minutes. With the backing being in that high range throughout, the mix never feels grounded or settled. Its a fantastic vibe for an introduction. I can really see what you're trying to do but even with creating atmosphere and massive space, doesnt mean there can't be variation and a few more parts dispersed throughout the mix. One thing that would work well, is instead of having the full melody at 0.36 played. Just start with the first bar, leave it a bit, then continue the phrase etc. Play with the space you have, you can make it feel larger with a little creative panning. Try some automation with putting the odd broken phrase appearing to left, then answering on the right. The lead in the first two minutes could be echo'd with another synth. Try adding stuff and taking away. I defintiely feel like you need to add some kind of variation to the pad, or more specifically the "aaahs" as it gets a little incessant. A lot here I know, but its really captured my imagination and you have a foundation for a really epic and chilled ReMix. Just keep going, even if you feel like at times Still needs more of this. Further more, it needs better transitions and a good deal more attention to detail. This is still quite the empty mix, and while there's lots of potential, the samples aren't high quality enough to warrant this low amount of processing. Also, some more layering and subtlety would do very well. I'm still source-searching here so that may take me a while, but since this suffers similarly sample and production-wise to your last song I reviewed, I'd suggest going to watch some tutorials for sample processing and mixing on whatever your current choice of DAW is. How I started with getting the sound I wanted was by listening to an artist I wanted to sound like, then trying to nail their sound using various techniques. Do this and it will also likely help your understanding of song structure as well! Keep it up and please don't give up on this stuff, because as I said before, you've got potential here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MC Ardle Posted September 18, 2011 Author Share Posted September 18, 2011 Okay. Here's another version. I was using a lot of Halion samples, which was what many people were saying sounded bland, so I've changed them. I've also made a few other changes: http://soundcloud.com/evan-mcardle/shadow-serenade I don't really know what more I can do with this now... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emunator Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 This review was written collaboratively between myself, Level 99 and WillRock: For what it's worth, you've crafted a pretty neat ambient chillout piece. The direction itself is pretty creative and ambitious. However, the execution just doesn't seem suited for OCR's standards and I think it would require a total overhaul to get it there. Your remix feels stretched out so that it doesn't feel like there's enough expansion/direction in the arrangement. When the pseudo-dubstep section hits, it's a nice start but the buildup isn't strong enough to carry the song. It's actually a pretty neat direction to take the sources, but in order for this to be OCR material, there would have to be a major reworking of the production, particularly on the ambiance and the drums, and the arrangement so there's more of an actual progression going on. This definitely seems like a worthwhile learning experience but at this point, if you're strapped for ideas I would just call it finished and move onto something else. Participate in compos, watch tutorials and keep practicing, ambient music is definitely not the kind of thing you can nail down on the first try so don't feel discouraged! Experiment with layering different sounds and ambiances to create more dynamic and full sounds, and with time you'll get the hang of it. Best of luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MC Ardle Posted September 18, 2011 Author Share Posted September 18, 2011 *sigh* okay... I'll change this back to Finished and leave it alone for a while... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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