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*NO* Final Fantasy 11 'Rolan Deep'


djpretzel
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http://www.tzone.org/~llin/psf/packs2/FFXI_psf2.rar - 111 "Rolanberry Fields"

Played this one back on VGF60, so I've been looking forward to critiquing it. The opening was pretty conservative with the steel-stringed guitar. Mostly heard additive elements here as opposed to any liberal rearrangement, but this was a nice conservative approach with some personal flair.

Some other synth strings came in at :42 but sound very muted and muffly. They're supposed to sound lo-fi but the loud, trebly beatwork was just obscuring everything, so the sound balance needs to be adjusted. The whole track lacks sharpness and clarity, so you better get tips from the ReMixing forum or the VGMix Conservatory on what to do about that.

Nothing wrong with the bird SFX, though it ain't birdcussion and it's a bit too loud without serving much of a purpose; sounds like something that should be a lot less prominent. 1:12 reached the chorus and had some decent genre adaptation work.

Some trumpet stabs or whatever you would call those were brought in from 1:28-2:10. A bit gratuitous there at points, I think those should have been used more judiciously.

The soft pizzicato strings starting at 1:49 didn't always seem to be playing the right notes. By 2:00, the arrangement of the chorus was really dragging. Trim the fat there.

The following section at 2:32 with strings had some serious problems once it reached 2:53 as the pizzicato strings, twinkly notes and bassline did NOT harmonize properly up until 3:14. Need a theory guy to help clarify the issue there.

Good ideas for rearranging the chorus at 3:36, though the guitar notes generally had the same intensity from note-to-note, which doesn't sound realistic at all. Humanize the performance there.

Things got a little too busy at 3:57, bringing in those poorly harmonizing elements on top and around your strings until 4:18. Position the strings more in the forefront and pull the supporting elements back a little there.

I really liked the stuttering and fadeout of that synth from 4:17-4:49; perhaps use a similar idea like that earlier on. Reminded me of Fatty Acid's style; maybe y'all should collab sometime. Good ending as well, though fade it out more cleanly, since it doesn't even fade out all the way.

You could really trim the fat off some of this, Paul, cuz the arrangement was too long and couldn't support 5:25. Refine or remove some of the needlessly crowded sections (i.e. 2:53-3:14 & 3:57-4:18). Tone the trebly percussion down a bit, and figure out how to get a cleaner atmosphere here and fix the sound balance among your instruments.

I kind of joke to myself that Paul sure has the ReMix titling schema down pat, but just needs to the get the rest above the bar. This guy's one to watch though. Once he refines his composition and learns more about production, he has the potential to be a solid contributor. Keep working at it, bro.

NO (rework/resubmit)

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Larry's right about the arrangement. To me this mix sounds more of an additive upgrade rather than revolution. It's certainly a pleasant listen for the most part. The string pizz to me sounded off in more ways than one. It made the mix overly chaotic, also as with Larry I hear a lot of awkward notes throughout the mix.

Brass stabs sounded out of place and rather thin, put some reverb on those.

There's a lot of fat to trim on this one, as Larry already mentioned. By the halfway point, I thought I was listening to a 10 min. mix as it is.

Nothing wrong with the bird SFX, though it ain't birdcussion

Considering the disparate natures of the two, the comparison is completely irrelevant and inappropriate.

A chill and transportational listen, most of the time. But this needs a lot of polish at this point really. More arrangement, better attention paid to the composition. Keep working at it. NO

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Nothing wrong with the bird SFX, though it ain't birdcussion

Considering the disparate natures of the two, the comparison is completely irrelevant and inappropriate.

Uh, I realize the interweb can be a poor conduit of sarcasm, but of course that wasn't a real comparison. The two mixes are nothing alike at all. I should have added something facetious like "(birdcussion™ Ari Asulin)"!

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I agree with what’s already been mentioned in terms of arrangement. There are some nice melodic additions here but not enough to support 5:25. I can’t say that it’s repetitive because there’s a good amount of variety throughout, but there are no major changes that prevent the mix from feeling like its dragging. In addition to more dramatic melodic/dynamic changes you might also work on improving the simple 3-note bassline that’s present throughout much of the mix (0:00-1:02, 2:32-3:36,…) Also consider making some element(s) of the percussion a little more steady. The beat is really groovy and rich but it feels choppy and doesn’t seem to gather any momentum to carry me through the piece. A steady quarter-note ride or an eight-note closed hi-hat might help.

I would tone down the lows on this mix by decreasing the volume of the kick and possibly the bass. Very nice guitar work but I would also knock out some of its lows. These fixes would help the soundfield to sound less muffled and cluttered.

The pizz strings seem very dry to me, especially in their appearance at 2:53 when they aren’t masked by anything. However, combined with the brass swells and the rhythmic birds, I like the variety that they create in the mix.

All-in-all, good stuff with a good beat and a chill vibe. Just work on the arrangement issues mentioned, clean up the production and presto! Great mix.

NO

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By the halfway point, I thought I was listening to a 10 min. mix as it is.

That about sums it up. Feels like it goes on for much longer than it is.

HOWEVER! I don't think this is a bad thing at all. I really like the texture of the piece; the soundscape is really nice. The whole song is superchill. The pizzacato is really nice, and the guitar works well against the gated synths. Real slick.

YES!

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i had to overlook the source material as its quite awful and it takes so much away from this remix as a result. the music itself is very displeasing to me. the interpretation is quite nice, though. its just unfortunate that the source material makes no sense to me.

if the guitar was a bit more subdued, this beat would be prime for a rap on top of it for a more proper "rolan deep"

as it stands right now, its just the awkward combination of an odd source material, Fruity loops guitar and a lot of good ideas. i dig the trumpet stabs. they don't bug me as they are a standard in a lot of beats but to put hits in and keep it chill; impressive.

as for the birdcussion.. relax, fellas - it isn't everyday we hear rhythmic bird chirps... so the connection is not irrelevant as gray said though inappropriate.

however, when all is said and done and i remove my bias against the source material, this is an excellently chill track and loads of good vibes.

YES

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  • 2 weeks later...

I actually somewhat enjoy the original. It's very calming. However, this remix has turned what could potentially be a very chill mix into a boring, bland ride. There are some interesting timbres and ideas, but overall it feels like 3:00 of ideas in a 5:25 song. Shorter length would help, but mostly it just needs to be more dense, and fill out the frequency ranges better. My colleagues covered my other feelings above.

Even if the goal is chill - it still has to be interesting.

NO

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