pokemoneinstein Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 Resubmitted. Wish me luck! I've noticed an incredibly depressing lack of accepted Mario and Luigi remixes on this site, so I've set out to get at least one of this site. This is a remix of Superstar Saga's main theme, which I've titled "Land of the Beans." It's just a WIP so far, so all suggestions and advice is sought after and much appreciated. This is my first attempt at an OCR-worthy remix, and I'd really appreciate any sort of tip. I'm pretty new to most of the technical aspects, though I've been at it for years, so criticize away! Constructively, of course, but there's no suggestion too big or too small. FINAL (rejected) VERSION: http://www.box.com/s/rne6x9o334ua3y1nr8pr YouTube Link: Final Resubbed Version (Awaiting Judgement): https://www.box.com/s/522be0383ca78af440a9 VERSION 2: So I've made a second version with a much more interesting introduction, and some overall improvements. But I still feel like some places are a bit busy. I varied up the chord velocity a bit, though perhaps not enough. Just some overall improvements, but no major changes besides the intro. Minor changes include less bass panning, trombones for the chords, Low Shelf Filter and High Shelf Filter for the cellos/trombones and piano, respectively, and extra percussion. VERSION 2.5: Some more small EQing things, in addition to an extra snare, and one version with variations in the piano's timing, and one version without it, so the difference can be compared. Still, all suggestions and opinions are much sought-after and much appreciated. VERSION 3: First major update. About an extra minute of music added, lots of effects and things. No major production changes, just composition. After the scream, I plan on changing the chord progression as we get into the bridge, and I might add some speckles of other songs here and there. But I'd especially like some opinions on the sound clips—I'm trying to decide if I should cut back on them or not. VERSION 3.5: Changed piano chords to arpeggios in the vibraphone interlude, changed around the sound effect section. I'd really like some opinions on the two changes made in this version in comparison to v3. VERSION 4: Added smattering of other M&L songs here and there, added a guitar to compliment the tubular bells in the first section of the song, and added some more small production changes, mostly with volume and echo and things. VERSION 4.5: Took off chorus on guitar and changes some effects to make it less muddy. Removed the pitch bend, as well. Took off all cutoff and resonance from lead, but I'm planning on adding a resonance automator soon. Lightened reverb on orchestral tracks, brightened piano, trombones, cellos, and all the interludes that include other songs. My main concern with this here is that there isn't quite enough reverb in the interludes to make them blend well with the rest of the song, and possibly the same issue, albeit to a lesser extent, with the trombone and cello chords. Though with the trombone chords, I'm hearing an occasional note that's much stronger than the others. I can't tell if it's distracting, or just varied enough to work. VERSION 5: Second major update, this time just for production. I added a phaser automation to the lead, added percussive buildups for transitions, added a compressor to the kick and EQed out the drums a little more. I changed the harpsichord to a piano in the Beanbean Castle interlude, got rid of backing chords in the vibraphone bridge and lightened the drums to better fit the mood. I changed the bass in all of the interludes to that of "Happy Adventure Delightful Adventure," from Super Mario RPG, added back a smidgen of reverb to the strings etc., and lowered the volume a lot to make them sound more in-place. I also added some root reversions in the piano chords to make them a bit more interesting. VERSION 5.5: Brightened the piano more, screwed with EQ a bit more. Changed the lead to what I think is much better. Changed the strings in the Chucklehuck Woods section to clarinets. That's about it, but this version sounds very different from the previous. VERSION 6: Added a bridge and a finale. I'm loving the finale, but the ending could use some work. The bridge, on the other hand, I'm not so fond of. My aim was to make something decent so I could work on the finale without the piece as a whole having a big weird gap. It needs a lot of work, but I'm open to ideas as to what I should do. Regardless, I'd like any sort of suggestion, still. The finale might seem just a tad busy, and I think transitions could use some small adjustments, but I'm still not sure how exactly to go about it. So please do give all sorts of constructive criticism. VERSION 6.5: It's complete! I added some marimbas and tubular bells in the last few sections, added percussion to the ending, and made some overall touch-ups. I'm now done the remix, and completely open to constructive criticisms of any kind. VERSION 7: Many of Flexstyle's mod review suggestions taken. I took out the low range of the strings and brass, but I'm not sure if I like it better or worse. I'm leaning towards better, but I'm still a little iffy. Though the more powerful of the brass chords stick out more with the EQ change. I'm thinking I'm going to fix that. I also cleaned up the finale, taking a few extra lead tracks out. I think I didn't, but I'd like to know if anybody thinks I took too much out of the end. Anyway, as always, all critiques welcome! VERSION 7.1: Softened the trombones (all of them, not just the chords), and added reverb and delay to the lead at 2:00. Also tightened the trombone chords so they sync better with the cellos and piano. VERSION 7.2: More EQ fixes, changed the lead a bit in the end VERSION 8: Updated with Rozo's suggestion and some more tips, such as a bit of sidechaining. This is the finalized and submitted version. Wish me luck! Resub (version 1): https://www.box.com/s/6618b4d42b18841dfc22 Resub (version 2): https://www.box.com/s/2f76c0363b93980b6bf7 Sources: Original Song: Other sources (Each only lasts for a few seconds): Happy Adventure Delightful Adventure: (A couple of bass changes, more of an influence than a source)Hoohoo Village / Beanbean Castle Town: (1:04)Beanbean Castle: (1:28)Chucklehuck Woods: (1:52)Battle Victory: (2:47)Various voice clips and sound effects from Superstar Saga Remix (v1): http://www.box.com/s/fbs5jxxc4intu9eyh2l5 Remix (v2): http://www.box.com/s/coqtaj3c23jl4qejfvci Remix (v2.5 with varied piano timing): http://www.box.com/s/rev2v26guqkds99l9go1 Remix (v2.5 without varied piano timing): http://www.box.com/s/p3c9alocs3sf7120bp9d Remix (v3) (varied piano timing used from now on): http://www.box.com/s/eg8nrk7s4gi86a5t5vaq Remix (v3.5): http://www.box.com/s/rajtviu6vg2bynbr9nj9 Remix (v4): http://www.box.com/s/7fubjsqfv9tr6h9oniai Remix (v4.5): http://www.box.com/s/q965sz624mu9uk2f02ms Remix (v5): http://www.box.com/s/93vubh0tnzhxyaytn0pd Remix (v5.5): http://www.box.com/s/8x8lphzgh58064uvk68s Remix (v6): http://www.box.com/s/8tv8p8lf44nrm80cnu0k Remix (v6.5): http://www.box.com/s/uik3d572n1nqat0bi6rb - For First Mod Review Remix (v7): http://www.box.com/s/ggzrdiuro6pjyer9jxby Remix (v7.1): http://www.box.com/s/l2p665yaxvo2jyop89dk Remix (v7.2): http://www.box.com/s/letarqdg74a84pp8ns54 - For Second Mod Review. Request from everyone reading: In addition to this one, please check out previous version, 7.1, and let me know which ending lead you think is better, if it isn't too much trouble. Remix (v8): http://www.box.com/s/rne6x9o334ua3y1nr8pr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmightyArceus Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 Please don't mind me overly critical to your composition. All of what I say is to better you composition/production So, the intro/beginning doesn't really capture me at all. It just starts and doesn't really go anywhere dynamically, and to me was a rather bland intro. You have the tones in the back, but the drums in my opinion are not strong or lively enough. The piano you are using needs LOTS of velocity alteration. Right now it just sounds like your pounding the same chord over and over in the background---which you are, but you have to add interest and change to the part to make it a bit cooler and slicker. Right now the piano sounds too much like you just pressed the "piano" button in Garageband, so definitely spend some EQ time there. Ahahahaha. I felt like this song didn't really do too much, and it is very conservative. I mean, the groove's fine, but the piece itself is very boring and feels like a background piece. You've really got to add some personality to this slate you've been given. I'd explore the sounds you can create with the Audio Unit effects; those are very helpful. Play with the adjustments on the settings you have to add more interest to the track. I'm not sure where the melody is in this cuz this entire theme is so repetitive, so make sure to pronounce that; I didn't hear a very distinct place where the "pan flute melody" came in, and that needs to be ever present and engaging. Add some real changes to this song and make it your own! This mix can shine if you express yourself and make it more original and involved! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pokemoneinstein Posted December 9, 2011 Author Share Posted December 9, 2011 Keep in mind this is only the first bit, I plan on adding a lot more. The lead kicks in around 0:50, it's pretty clear in the mix, though I might need to bring the volume on some other stuff down a bit. But I agree with you on the rest of it. Thanks for the suggestions! And they're definitely not too harsh; I want all the criticism I can get, I won't get accepted without it. And OCR could use a good M&L remix. But one question: should I also adjust the velocities of the strings, or do those sound okay as-is? I'll update this later with another version. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelCityOutlaw Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 Please don't mind me overly critical to your composition. All of what I say is to better you composition. Yeah, but most of your post seems to refer to production. Not composition as much. Anyhow, there isn't much in the way of melody here. Definitely look at adding in some more melodies, maybe some arpeggios etc. Also, increase the songs length. Perhaps even try adding in another Mario and Luigi song to the mix? On the subject of realistic piano the only way to get TRULY convincing results is with real piano. Not just velocity edits. However, if you want to make that piano sound more realistic, vary up the velocities, but also screw with the timing. For example, in this song, it sounds like the piano just plays chords. All the notes in your chords are hitting at the exact same time it seems. Real musicians don't make every note in the chord begin and end at the same time. So try making the chords "fall" together. Make one note start ever so slightly before/after another note in the chord. Just don't go too nuts and throw the piano out of time with the song. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pokemoneinstein Posted December 9, 2011 Author Share Posted December 9, 2011 Yeah, but most of your post seems to refer to production. Not composition as much.Anyhow, there isn't much in the way of melody here. Definitely look at adding in some more melodies, maybe some arpeggios etc. Also, increase the songs length. Perhaps even try adding in another Mario and Luigi song to the mix? On the subject of realistic piano the only way to get TRULY convincing results is with real piano. Not just velocity edits. However, if you want to make that piano sound more realistic, vary up the velocities, but also screw with the timing. For example, in this song, it sounds like the piano just plays chords. All the notes in your chords are hitting at the exact same time it seems. Real musicians don't make every note in the chord begin and end at the same time. So try making the chords "fall" together. Make one note start ever so slightly before/after another note in the chord. Just don't go too nuts and throw the piano out of time with the song. Again, this is still only the first minute of the song. I was actually thinking about adding perhaps a small bit of Beanbean Castle here and there, and small bits and pieces of a couple others, in addition to some voice clips from the zany cast of hilarious characters.And thank you for the tips about the realism on the piano; that hadn't even occurred to me. It's funny, because I use a MIDI keyboard to record, and then (in this case) I pushed all the chords to be timed perfectly. Anyway, thanks a bunch! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pokemoneinstein Posted December 10, 2011 Author Share Posted December 10, 2011 Version 3 added, the first major update, with an extra minute of music added. Anyone who has any sort of criticism whatsoever is urged to speak up. Thanks in advance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelCityOutlaw Posted December 10, 2011 Share Posted December 10, 2011 Personally, I'm likin' it so far. I like the piano better now too. The intro feels a little....empty. Maybe try throwing in a counter melody to the bell? Perhaps a sort of call and response with another instrument? I know this seems like a weird idea, but have you considered throwing in some subtle guitar scratching with wah? When listening I just kinda hear in my head some funky guitar scratches every now and then. Nothing substantial, just some sixteenth notes here and there. Anyway, just some more thoughts. She's comin' along. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pokemoneinstein Posted December 10, 2011 Author Share Posted December 10, 2011 Awesome, thanks for the tip! I added a guitar in that section, i think it sounds alright, but I'm not sure how I could make it better. And what does everyone think of the bits and pieces of other songs I've added, so far? I'm also looking for bigger suggestions from anyone who has them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monobrow Posted December 10, 2011 Share Posted December 10, 2011 Hey there! I like the composition, it's fine and nicely nuanced. It's really your samples unfortunately that are getting in the way... They sound very midi-ish unfortunately. What can help this, is honestly better mixing. Make your drums sizzle and stick out more... Right now they sound kind of flat. I can like the idea of a very low-end kit, it's kind of cute, but it needs to feel more dynamic. Your piano... It sounds too fake/low end... But like the drums, also sounds kind of flat. If you can't fix what sample you're using, mix the piano in a way that the fakeness becomes more quirky... Right now it's kind of in "am I real, or am I fake sounding" limbo... Pick a side... EQ and give reverb in a way that will emphasize this. Overall, I think they have a bit too much resonance and are too wet, without all the charm of higher freq sticking out that would make the wetness sound better. I also think they may sit back in the mix (room size) too much. Also think the writing is just a bit too repetitive... The chords might (and I hate saying this), be a bit too full, in a way that makes the playing actually sound a bit sloppy... A really good way to break up the piano I think would be to mess with the listener, get us used to the rhythm you've been using, and then do something different... And change up your drum writing to emphasize it. That would probably help overall w/ your quirky sound that I think you're going for. The more orchestral elements... Seem too far back in the mix as well, and kinda drowned out. It seems like they could be way more impacting if they really were more staccato... But they have this resonance and just the note lengths aren't impacting enough... Maybe shorten them, and make them dryer. It'd make them sound cleaner too. The song ends, I am sure you are gonna do more... So good luck, and if you really are going for that quirky sound, keep your background parts dryer, emphasize your rhythm, and keep the mix as clean as possible. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pokemoneinstein Posted December 11, 2011 Author Share Posted December 11, 2011 Your piano... It sounds too fake/low end... But like the drums, also sounds kind of flat. If you can't fix what sample you're using, mix the piano in a way that the fakeness becomes more quirky... Right now it's kind of in "am I real, or am I fake sounding" limbo... Pick a side... EQ and give reverb in a way that will emphasize this. Overall, I think they have a bit too much resonance and are too wet, without all the charm of higher freq sticking out that would make the wetness sound better. I also think they may sit back in the mix (room size) too much. In the second half of this paragraph, are you talking about the piano, drums or both? That would help me bring them out more in the mix. And neither have any resonance setting, so how might you suggest I work around that? Just play around with the EQ to let higher frequencies through? The chords might (and I hate saying this), be a bit too full, in a way that makes the playing actually sound a bit sloppy... All the chords, or just the trombone/cello chords? How do you suggest I fix it, actually take some notes out, or close it up a bit with some EQing?The more orchestral elements... Seem too far back in the mix as well, and kinda drowned out. It seems like they could be way more impacting if they really were more staccato... But they have this resonance and just the note lengths aren't impacting enough... Maybe shorten them, and make them dryer. It'd make them sound cleaner too.Okay, that makes sense. I'll try brightening them. I assume you're talking about all of them, not just the chords or interludes? All the orchestral pieces are all as staccato as they can get, though, would you suggest turning up the velocity a bit to compensate?The song ends, I am sure you are gonna do more... So good luck, and if you really are going for that quirky sound, keep your background parts dryer, emphasize your rhythm, and keep the mix as clean as possible. Good luck!Yeah, I'm going to work on the next minute or so either tomorrow or tonight. And I definitely was going for that quirky sound, so thank you very much for all of your tips! I've actually started using some of them as I'm typing this post, and already it sounds a lot better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monobrow Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 In the second half of this paragraph, are you talking about the piano, drums or both? That would help me bring them out more in the mix. And neither have any resonance setting, so how might you suggest I work around that? Just play around with the EQ to let higher frequencies through? Was talking about the piano. And yeah, play around w/ freq, figure out what is making it sound that way... Do you have any effects on them? Any reverb etc... Or maybe they just come that way? All the chords, or just the trombone/cello chords? How do you suggest I fix it, actually take some notes out, or close it up a bit with some EQing? Talking about the piano chords actually , however when you address any chords, sometimes what is implied will be filled in by the listener anyway, so you don't always need full chords everywhere, not that I have much of problem w/ anything besides the fullness of the piano (it just sounded kind of sloppy and the notes sounded too long)... But the rule of thumb is to try to get the most out of every instrument you choose, and sometimes implying can be effective vs. using every note you can etc. Okay, that makes sense. I'll try brightening them. I assume you're talking about all of them, not just the chords or interludes? All the orchestral pieces are all as staccato as they can get, though, would you suggest turning up the velocity a bit to compensate? See I dunno, because I can make my samples sound more staccato... It might just be the samples you are using won't cut off... Which would suck when trying to emphasize rhythm. Can I ask what sample library etc. you're using, and maybe I could point you in the direction of some alternatives? And yes, basically as long as you have a goal in mind, however you achieve it is okay, so if turning them up can make it feel dryer and emphasize, then go for it. Yeah, I'm going to work on the next minute or so either tomorrow or tonight. And I definitely was going for that quirky sound, so thank you very much for all of your tips! I've actually started using some of them as I'm typing this post, and already it sounds a lot better. Glad I could help, hopefully I at least got you leaning in a certain direction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pokemoneinstein Posted December 11, 2011 Author Share Posted December 11, 2011 Okay, I updated it with a lot of your EQing suggestions, especially about brightening things and making them dryer, but I haven't yet made the piano chords less full, nor have I implemented your suggestion of "tricking" the listener with a different progression/drum beats, yet. To shorten the orchestral parts that play pieces of other songs a bit more, I took off some of the reverb, but now I'm thinking they stick out too much from the rest of the song, and I think that's why. It could just be volume, but I think it's because of the reverb. I can't tell if I should make it about midway between where it is now and where it used to be, or if I should just turn the volume down. I also lightened the reverb on the cello and trombone chords that compliment the piano, but I'm having the same thoughts about them. To a lesser extent, but I'm still just a tad concerned. But I am loving the piano right now. I haven't tried taking out some of the extra notes yet, but I'll do that later and see what I think. EDIT: Oh, and I use GarageBand's Symphony Orchestra Jam Pack. Not the best out there, but those ones cost big money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monobrow Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Well, in version 5 I definitely hear difference on that piano. Yes, everything sounds clearer, which is really cool. And yeah, the right amount of reverb is tricky. I think a lot of people underestimate room size, they associate reverb with just making the song sound wetter... But it's also good to think about where the mic sits, as in do you want the instruments close up or not. Coincidentally, I think your vibraphone could be turned up, and you could definitely get away with a bit more wetness, and even a tad more brightness. A closer mic (smaller room size) might help it too, the same with your harpsichord. You're on the right track... Just get in the habit of EQing out your different instruments... Pay special attention to where all instruments are are sitting in the mix vs one another, EQ out ranges your instrument doesn't necessarily need to sound good, so you can leave room for others... I think this is especially necessary in quirky songs, because they are usually bright, with some cool panning, and "tricks" to delight the listener. It's really all about your ear... Maybe take a day off and come back to this version, because it sounds better to me, so you just may be too used to it. Another trick I use when my ears get tired is Winamp Pacemaker It's a plugin that you can play (a little lossy albeit) at different keys and different tempos, so you can kind of cheat yourself with new ears, when you are used to your song. And about your samples: http://www.kvraudio.com/ This is a site where you may find some better samples, even for free. Just give it a search and maybe you can find at least some strings that do better staccato. Unfortunately samples seem to be this song's biggest weakness. Hope these help and feel free to keep posting versions. Later! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pokemoneinstein Posted December 11, 2011 Author Share Posted December 11, 2011 Coincidentally, I think your vibraphone could be turned up, and you could definitely get away with a bit more wetness, and even a tad more brightness. A closer mic (smaller room size) might help it too, the same with your harpsichord.It's funny you should say that, because since uploading version five, I actually changed the harpsichord to be played by the piano, and I think it sounds a lot better like that. I've also changed up the vibraphone section a lot, including EQ.It's really all about your ear... Maybe take a day off and come back to this version, because it sounds better to me, so you just may be too used to it.I don't think that was it. I turned the reverb back up just a tad, and it sounds just right. In my opinion, anyway. The bigger problem actually was the volume. This is a site where you may find some better samples, even for free. Just give it a search and maybe you can find at least some strings that do better staccato. Unfortunately samples seem to be this song's biggest weakness. That may be true, I'll check that site out. Thanks!I'll post the version i've just made in a bit, and you'll see what I'm talking about for some of the stuff. And would you still say the piano needs to be less full? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pokemoneinstein Posted December 12, 2011 Author Share Posted December 12, 2011 I added Version 5, the second major update. Lots of changes happening, so I'd love for people to check it out if they can Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pokemoneinstein Posted December 25, 2011 Author Share Posted December 25, 2011 I've updated the first post with the newest version of the remix. I've finished it off time-wise, and I'd love some more feedback. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragnarock Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 I like the soundclips from the game that are dotted throughout. A lot of times, soundclips sound out of place in a song, but I thinnk it works well here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pokemoneinstein Posted December 28, 2011 Author Share Posted December 28, 2011 Thanks! I wanted to make sure they could be heard without overpowering the music itself. I'm happy it worked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pokemoneinstein Posted December 29, 2011 Author Share Posted December 29, 2011 Updated yet again. This time, the remix is finished off. From my point of view, anyway. It's clear the most of your guys have no interest, and those of you who had any already gave me your suggestions. So I guess I'm ready for Mod Review. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flexstyle Posted December 29, 2011 Share Posted December 29, 2011 >MODREVIEW< As a quick caveat, most of my expertise comes from the production side of things, and that’s how I’ll be approaching this mod review. Forgive me if I come across too harsh, as I’m just trying to pick out anything the judges might find. Right then, first things first. That combination of horns and strings—whatever it is that’s doing the little stabs throughout the song—really has some issues in the lower midrange. I’d say do a deep and wide cut around 180 Hz or so in the EQ, or even roll off that area entirely. I’d second the notion that the samples could be improved, since they just sound…cheap, I guess, for lack of a better term. There’s not a ton of believable articulation (yeah, there’s articulation, but it sounds kinda just “there so I can say I added articulation”) in there, since they really do just sound like triggered one-shot samples. I suspect if you lowered the volume of the stabs and made a significant EQ cut you’d have them fitting a lot better, at least, since they’re kinda clashing with the kick/snare and the bassline. If you mixed the string/horn stabs better (the EQ fixes, etc.), you might be able to get away with the “cheap-sounding” samples. Also: do you have any sort of reverb on them? That might solve part of the problem if you were to cut some significant low-mid frequencies out of that reverb, too. As of right now, they (the string/horn stabs) tend to overpower everything else in the mix. Around 1:29 or so, when the piano does its own little lead thing, you’ll want to bring it up in the mix a bit for that section. Otherwise it sounds like, “wait, there’s a piano solo here? I didn’t even notice it.” 2:00 with the unison lead—it’s a bit buried, and you could probably stand to maybe even bring it up an octave. As of right now, it’s just kinda muddy. I would also mention that it feels almost “forced,” melodically, in that it doesn’t quite fit with the source or the remix—almost as a slightly random mish-mash of notes strung together. I’m sure that wasn’t the intent, and I’m certainly not accusing you of doing such a thing, but I am saying that’s what it kinda sounds like. At the end of the song, where you’ve got everything playing at once, it sounds REALLY crowded, musically. You’ve got dissonance from melodies playing at the same time that shouldn’t play together in a lot of places (multiples of those unison synth leads, for instance). As someone who likes to throw everything and the kitchen sink at the listener at the end of the song, I can sympathize, but it just makes a jumbled mess in this case. Overall mix thoughts: The entire mix sounds quite crowded and perhaps overcompressed. You could probably get away with rolling the sub bass frequencies off of the song entirely, maybe making a sharp cut or rolloff around 45 Hz or so. An overall mix cut of around 170-200 Hz wouldn’t hurt either. Looks to me like your bassline and kick are trying to occupy the same spot in the mix. You can pull that off, but you might have to lower the volume of one or the other, or simply re-EQ the kick to throw more weight into the higher end of the spectrum and less in the low end. Also, make sure your snare/clap has nothing sitting where the kick should be. Roll it off around 170 Hz or so. To be clear, actually, nothing besides the kick and bass should really occupy the spectrum below around 150 Hz or so, otherwise you’ve got mud problems. All that said, it IS an enjoyable mix. I think the little voice clips are well-placed and tasteful, adding a nice little bit of fun to an already cheery track. It's a joyous and playful song, and the overall arrangement is, I think, quite nice. Please don’t hear me tearing everything apart in a malicious manner. I'm just pretty certain that it's not going to pass the panel as it stands right now with all those production elements (some of which are a direct result of the arrangement) missing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pokemoneinstein Posted December 29, 2011 Author Share Posted December 29, 2011 2:00 with the unison lead—it’s a bit buried, and you could probably stand to maybe even bring it up an octave. As of right now, it’s just kinda muddy. I would also mention that it feels almost “forced,” melodically, in that it doesn’t quite fit with the source or the remix—almost as a slightly random mish-mash of notes strung together. I’m sure that wasn’t the intent, and I’m certainly not accusing you of doing such a thing, but I am saying that’s what it kinda sounds like. I brought it up an octave, and I think it helped. This bridge, though, is based on the bridge from the original song. Is it hard to tell that it's form the source? I could make the notes a little more similar to the original of you think I should. And thanks for the tip about the piano solo, by the way. All that said, it IS an enjoyable mix. I think the little voice clips are well-placed and tasteful, adding a nice little bit of fun to an already cheery track. It's a joyous and playful song, and the overall arrangement is, I think, quite nice. Please don’t hear me tearing everything apart in a malicious manner. I'm just pretty certain that it's not going to pass the panel as it stands right now with all those production elements (some of which are a direct result of the arrangement) missing. Oh, please, I want to make it onto the site. You were quite kind in what you said, and I very much appreciate that. Thank you. Though even when someone does tear my work apart, as long as it’s constructive, all I feel towards them is gratitude. Sometimes I get a bit disheartened on top of it, but I know that people often aren’t critical for the sake of making someone feel bad, but rather for the sake of making someone get better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozovian Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 So, I was asked to basically pretend to be a mod reviewing this. K. Thanks Gario. Sweet intro, piano is a little dry, bass drum really heavy, wind lead quite far back in the mix. That's my impressions from the very start of the mix. Both leads (wind thing and reso synth) could be brought out some more, not necessarily louder, but a subtle eq boost to whatever frequency they're the brightest in and some subtle eq carving in the other tracks to make room for it would bring it out nicely. Subtle, tho. The voice clips - which I usually, subjectively hate (objective hate, what?) - work ok here; they're not overly prominent, and they fit well into the style. The whole track is actually quite reminiscent of this track (http://ocremix.org/remix/OCR00868/), which was one of my early favorites from ocr. The bass is too strong. On my regular low-level listening, it's more than strong enough. There's some times where the compression becomes painfully obvious and the track breaks free to breathe. 1:29 and 1:35 are two such instances, but the irregular (I take it it's a shot at humanizing) bass levels make the output compression work a bit too hard. The bass, kick, and snare interact in a way where the bass drum is a lot weaker over snare hits. That's be fine if it was consistent, but the bass and bass drum keep disappearing on some hits. Softening the lows a tiny bit could yield you more pleasant dynamics without really losing any of the weight in the kick and bass. There are times, like at 1:56 where I can hear the intention behind the changing bass drum velocity, but at a lot of other times it just seems random. Check to see if you have any effects on the bass that could explain its wavering in and out of prominence so irregularly (the note pitch and eq also affects it, so a multiband compressor might be better than a regular eq on a bassline spanning a range as wide as this one). But again, dropping their levels a little (or compressing the individual tracks further without boosting their levels thereafter) should solve a lot of your problems. The first lead melody from the main source is easily detected, the second doesn't modulate as it does in the source (nor does the chords anyway), but it's there. Most of the track is built on the chord ostinato from the source. I'm gonna refrain from learning 5 mostly new sources to check for smaller source references and bits; a list of included parts and where they're used would help. The judges sometimes request this, and I reckon including such a list would make reviewing/judging a lot faster and easier, especially when dealing with 6 sources. Arrangement is, imo, good enough. It's conservative, but varied and with obvious differences in style and chord structure. And then there's those alleged additional sources. It also flows well. - This is getting long, I gotta learn to write shorter. Going by the old checklist, I end up with four issues that kind'a apply. PRODUCTION - Too loud - the low stuff - Unrealistic sequencing - randomization instead of humanization - Overcompressed (pumping/no dynamics) - not terrible but enough to be noticed when the compression eases up - Mixing is muddy (eg. too many sounds in the same range) - leads could be more clear A few minor edits to eq, drums, and bass, and I'd say it's finished. addendum: Reading Flex' mod review, I'd say you've fixed the melody issues. Nothing stands out as awkward, random, or otherwise ill-fitting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swifthom Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Just thought i'd add two cents; you put on original post you weren't sure which lead instrument for end you prefered. For me it's definitely version 7.2. This is a joyous song, that ending seems happier and more upbeat. Also by upping the octive it makes the song seem like it is approaching the natural end, as opposed to the sudden 'oh we're done' clomp in version 7.1. Hope with the suggestions you've been given this makes it; it's been great watching the ammount of effort you've piled into this and that deserves applause. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelCityOutlaw Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Damn, I gotta say...You have some serious dedication to this tune! Respect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pokemoneinstein Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 Yeah, the funny thing is that I don't care as much about getting accepted as an artist. I care about Mario and Luigi music getting some OCR-accepted remixes XD Thanks everybody for the comments, etc, and especially to you, Rozo. I'll fix some stuff up and submit it when I can! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.