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*NO* Secret of Mana 'Ocean of Mana'


Chimpazilla
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Hi people,

here is the link of my remix if needed :

Contact Information

* sebastien ride (srmusic)

* Sébastien Ridé

*

* www.srmusic.net

* 39373

Submission Information

* Secret of Mana

* Ocean of Mana

* Fear Of The Heavens

*

*

* This is some piano variations around the most known theme of Secret of Mana. The name of my remix come from a passion : because in the past i've worked on a RPG fan game called "Ocean of Mana",and indeed i've mixed some ocean sounds that i've recorded a few years ago.

Kind regards,

sebastien ride.

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Edited by Liontamer
closed decision
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This is a lovely version of this source with the piano and ethereal pad. The playing is lovely. The ocean sounds are nice. I am loving the mixture of time signatures, 6/8 then 4/4.

One issue, what is that sound at 0:54? Is it a boat's horn? That's gotta go, whatever it is! (if you guys agree with me I'll get in touch with him)

YES (conditional on getting rid of the sound at 0:54)

Edited by Chimpazilla
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Kris, that sounds like a tubular bell to me, it's a little out of place harmonically but I don't personally have an issue with it. Onto the rest of the remix...

This is absolutely gorgeous. I'm picking up a strong amount of American Beauty influence with the piano performance and overall sound design. I was afraid when I first downloaded the track and saw that it was only 2 minutes long, but your concept seems fully fleshed-out even at this length. You manage to introduce many subtle variations to the Fear of the Heavens melody, and build substantially on your sound design too so the remix doesn't end up sounding one-dimensional or static.

Can't say enough good things about this, you've accomplished a lot in 2 minutes here!

YES

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The water SFX combined with the ambiance ended sounding lossy, but the overall soundscape was OK. I didn't have any problem with the bell at :53. The way the track faded out at the end was too fast/abrupt as well.

The change in styles is apparent, so the approach is certainly personalized, and this would have been a lock in the older days of the site. For the present though, I felt like I heard 2 and half iterations of the melody (:05, :53, 1:34) with some observable but relatively minor variations, some good weaving of some brief original writing, and the SFX, and that was it. It could definitely use another minute or two of further ideas and development.

If this passes, I wouldn't have a problem with that, but IMO the concept, while subtle and good, could use further fleshing out. I didn't agree that this felt like a fully realized piece.

NO (resubmit)

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Very beautiful take on the source here. I like the variations you've added in the first two go-arounds with the melody. Original part writing was also a nice touch.

But Larry makes an excellent point above regarding the arrangement - as a whole, it just feels underdeveloped. Once the piano/pad/sfx is established, it basically stays in that same gear for the remainder of the piece while reiterating a slightly different version of the same melody line. It only clocks in at 2:09, and while it's possible to achieve a fully realized arrangement in that length of time, I don't think this quite does. That said, there's plenty of time (musically speaking) to work with here. There's some unused source material as well if you wanna go there.

Man, I don't know if it's the specific download source here, but this sounds really loudly mixed, especially in the mid/high range. No one else mentioned it, so I guess I could be grandpa-ing it.

It really is a beautiful track here, but I feel like it needs some further development/writing.

NO resubmit, please

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I think I mostly agree with Larry and Justin, but wouldn't put it quite the same way they did. The melodic changes combined with the chord changes give this a lot of harmonic additions that make it stand apart from the original pretty strongly. It's a more unsettling piece now, and I think it's wrong not to consider those changes as substantial. What I do agree with them on is that this stays in one gear for too long, and doesn't do a lot outside the textures and rhythms set up within the first ten seconds. It's quite straightforward apart from the harmonic changes, and really isn't engaging enough. It's a really cool start though, and I'm not surprised you got some YES votes. Hope you can give us another version, assuming this doesn't pass.

NO (resubmit)

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  • 4 weeks later...

You go to some very interesting places harmonically, which I love, but there's a lack of complexity in the piano that's bothering me. The left-hand part feels like it's doing the same simple arpeggio throughout the entire piece.

I agree with other Js that this feels like it's coasting after it gets a few bars in. I really like the soundscape, though the piano may be a little reverb-heavy, and I feel like the ocean SFX is on auto-pilot and isn't really accenting what's happening in the track in any meaningful way aside from being there. Some of the crashing wave sounds get pretty busy, which kind of pulls me out of what the piano and pad are doing.

Would love to see you apply some of these ideas to a piece with more depth. The simplicity isn't really working here.

NO

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I think Vinnie worded this best in how I'm feeling about the piece. There are some great harmonies added, and there's quite a new feel about the piece, but once things are established the textures and backing parts remain pretty similar. I think adjusting those parts will add a lot more life to the mix and really let the track shine.

I also wasn't a fan of the key change ~1:40 or so. I think there should be a little more build/lead up to it. I'll put that as personal taste though.

I definitely hope you keep working on this one! Hit up the workshop forums for some more advice and send it back to us!

NO (resubmit)

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