Gario Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 (edited) Previous Decision urdailywater Aaron Corbitt Your website 22874 Submission Information Mega Man 9 Invisible Concrete Concrete Man https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwQ9iCqtpUk A Re-mix of a resub of a resub of a ReMix Edited May 12, 2017 by Liontamer closed decision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindWanderer Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 Lots of fun stuff going on with the accompaniment and the general arrangement and aesthetic. There's a lot to like here. I didn't hear either of the last two submissions, but this definitely sounds better than what was described before. The sound of the clap/snare is definitely better, though it's still quite static, as is the bass. Switching from "real" piano to electric piano helps excuse the lack of dynamics in it, but is still pretty stiff. The woodwinds starting at 2:07, however, are really mechanical and fake-sounding, and it doesn't help that it's on a tight, repetitive loop, which exaggerates the problem. Sounds to me like some of those dissonant notes are still there, although some have been fixed. 1:11, 1:21, and 3:20 are some moments that leaped out at me. This is very close, I think. It wouldn't be the worst thing if this passed, and there is a lot that I like about it. But I do think the small issues that remain add up. A little more humanization in some of those instruments, a little more variety in the percussion and bass, and a little less repetitiveness in the woodwind section. Not too bad in light of all the work you've already put into this. Keep at it! NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gario Posted April 26, 2017 Author Share Posted April 26, 2017 I wasn't on the panel at the time of the previous decision, either, so this is a fresh listen for me. Overall, this is actually pretty good. While I hear some of the concern about the realism of the instruments in this, it didn't bother me too much as most of the piece uses synthesized elements. It would've been better had you handled the oboe's articulations so the attacks didn't swell on every note, and that slide at 2:37 isn't physically possible on the instrument(!), but the instrument is still a nice touch to the track. I'd be much more picky about it if it were an orchestral arrangement, but there's a little room for interpretation in something like this. It sounds like the poor notes have been addressed for the most part in this. I'm not hearing any sour notes, really (1:10 had some interesting chromaticism, but it's not necessarily bad). The only issue that I'm hearing in this that's holding this back is the use of that drum pattern. While percussion should carry the beat, certainly, it shouldn't be handled like the post office - through rain, hail, sleet or snow the beat shall persist. Fortunately there's a whole section in the middle that breaks it all up, which is a relief to hear when it comes in. Some more variety in the main drum part, some more fills to differentiate from the different sections, etc., would help take this to new heights. It's a very close call for me. I can see this being sent back due to the drums being pretty static and a few humanization concerns, but at the same time I think there was at least some variety in the middle to help alleviate this, and the humanization is downplayed by the fact that this isn't an orchestral track for me. If this is rejected give those drums some more variety and I think that would probably be enough, but I think it's good enough as it is. YES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonAvenger Posted May 12, 2017 Share Posted May 12, 2017 I'm just on the other side of the fence as Gario here, for pretty much everything he mentioned. I think this is super close, but it needs one more pass to add just a touch more realism and more variety in the drums. One more time, it's super close! NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted May 12, 2017 Share Posted May 12, 2017 The beats from :07-1:52 & 2:37-3:37 (71% of the track) were really, REALLY plain and plodding, which left the entire arrangement sounding static. No offense intended, but how can you be on the third iteration of this track and not have addressed this with something more sophisticated and varied??? The piano at :22 was still very blocky-sounding and hasn't aged well; let's step this up. The vanilla, generic saw from :45-1:07 & 1:37-1:52 was just so rigidly timed and plain. Do what you can to raise your sound design game, Aaron. From 1:37-1:52, I did like the saw moving around the stereo field. I didn't have a big problem with the 1:10 note; it's odd, but it resolved fine. For a smaller detail that got squashed, I really liked the bassline writing in principle, but it's so quiet and buried that it might as well not be there. It's a non-factor here right now. The original countermelodic oboe writing from 2:52-3:22 was a nice touch. Vary up the beats (they're the dealbreaker), improve the uniqueness and humanity of the saw and piano sounds, and revisit the mixing so that important supporting elements like the bass aren't pushed out. I think this needs much more TLC than than any of the other judges implied, and to me it wasn't a close vote, though this is still in the right direction. You've really need to put in the effort to achieve more sophisticated writing & production with your sounds, and fully develop this piece. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir_NutS Posted May 12, 2017 Share Posted May 12, 2017 Yeah this track really needs some personality, some spice. The piano is stiff and pretty boring. There are some weird harmonic choices throughout the track, MW mentioned some. I'll add others, such as the sine lead sounding kinda random and not quite in harmony with the rest at 1:23... not sure what it's trying to express there. The final busy section near the end, oddly enough, was harmonically sound IMO. The drums were pretty basic, and repetitive as well. The drums should serve as a base (along with the bass) for your track, help drive it forward and add/take away energy, but you should also consider them proper instruments that should add variety and intricacy to your arrangement. I think this needs more to elevate the track from its generic status to something we would like to post. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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