yeah sorry Rho that wasn't a very good review, considering the effort you put into mine. What's good about your song is your strong rearrangement sense , I think you just gotta raise the volumes and give it phatter samples. You've retained the desperate battle-ish feel that the original has which is good IMO. Also, it needs more direction, i.e. new instruments, a counter melody (if there isn't one already, please excuse my ignorance if there is one), an even bigger increase in the already intense feel to it, or on the contrary a real nice breakdown with fat, epic minor chord pads, etc.
Plus, like you earlier said, you've got tons of room to add new instruments and such. USE it as best as you can, this song craves for more, and it needs some more epic flava. Not a bad start dude
Sorry I couldn't be more detailed, I kinda suck at reviews.