Jump to content


  • Posts

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location

Artist Settings

  • Collaboration Status
    2. Maybe; Depends on Circumstances
  • Software - Digital Audio Workstation (DAW)
    Studio One
  • Composition & Production Skills
    Arrangement & Orchestration

Recent Profile Visitors

1,345 profile views

Oneiric's Achievements


Newbie (1/14)

  1. There is one issue with this version that I didn't notice until literally just a minute ago listening through it again, which is a tempo mistake toward the end of the track that happens twice. because of how I wrote the parts it involved tempo and time changes to sound right, and I slid the track back by 4 measures to add a bit to the intro, not thinking about the time changes and where that would leave the changes in the track, so I do need to go back and change that. this was more so I could post the track and get some feedback here about the overall sound. I'm pretty comfortable with the overall songwriting, more looking for feedback on the overall sound and any advice for mixing since that's my biggest weak spot right now.
  2. I love this, not really a remix, but you've done an awesome job updating the source
  3. Its not bad, though I feel it focuses too much on the melody of the source. While there is a good job of changing the way it gets played throughout, all of the changes feel just slapped together with no rhyme or reason. An original riff or two to split up the source would help diversify the track and make transitions sound more natural. Also, i would vary your drum lines a little. Add fills, tempo changes to indicate transitions, and just plain add a little variation to a few measures to make the track have better flow and more personality. Lastly, the lead that comes in at 0:42 sounds really dissonant. While dissonance itself isnt a problem, much metal thrives on it, here it's the only strongly dissonant thing in the track and doesnt really work. Overall the individual sections work well and are nicely done though, just needs a little work
  4. Have been working on this song for a few weeks now and has completely taken over the last four or five days. Glad to finally have it out. It is being alone on a peaceful trip through space, staring from the windows at the stars around you. It is the relaxation from the beauty of the sight before you. It is the brief moment as relaxation turns to panic as the power to all of your systems fail one by one. It is the suffocating fear of dying alone, adrift in a sea of nothingness. It is the overwhelming feeling of terror as you hear something else moving on the ship with you. It is the warm feeling of the acceptance of death as everything fades to black after the oxygen runs out. Any comments, critiques, advice completely welcome.
  5. Sounds good, but I'm a sucker for anything in uncommon times and that riff in 5 is quite nice. it flows great and sounds awesome. I only have one question. What is up with that snare noise? I love me a nice poppy snare sound (even if it sounds slightly out of place in most metal), but that snare sound is like a woodblock almost. It does say rough draft, so I'm not sure if you plan to keep that specific tone, but I feel that the snare needs a sound that is less poppy and tight. Also, The bass kick has a very shallow feel to it. Something with a little more body to the note instead of just the hit would help make the song seem a little more alive. Just what I personally would do for the production. Aside from those two minor gripes it sounds amazing
  6. I agree, the drums are a little too front and center, I think they need to be mixed a little better into the track, the bass and snare sounds mostly are what stand out. Also agree that things generally sound pretty muddled, and the volume jumps up for no apparent reason most of the way through. While this helped the drums feel a little better mixed in it has the side effect of making the backing track disappear. It also makes everything feel unfinished. I agree, rather than the volume jump I think it would be better to make a change there for the rest of the song, maybe another instrument or two added into the mix to boost whats there already with a slight change to the drum line to mix up the feel. I do like the song, is very relaxed and mellow, the rhythm is perfect and aside from the few things already pointed out is written very well
  7. Thanks for the feedback! I actually recorded this before I was actually very familiar with the concept of velocity, having worked mostly with less organic sounds previously. I wasn't sure if I wanted to rework the track with a more humanized feel. I'm actually very fond of this track now though so I'll probably go back and do that at some point in the near future, as well as giving it a better production overall, and possibly trying to change up the instrumentation slightly to further differentiate it from the original. Again, thanks!
  8. Okay, so first thing I noticed is the constant changing of the camera angle. I had to watch the video a few times to fully catch a couple things. I follow frets much easier than tones when focusing on what is being played so the constant changing angle threw me for a loop. As for the music itself... the riff was definitely catchy. For me the main issue to address is that the main riff repeats far too many times. As the bare bones structure of a song it works, but there is nothing to differentiate where the intro ends and the verse begins. Throughout there is no variation to the riff at all, and it controls the entire song. The bridge was nicely done, popping out of a minor scale for a moment before going right back to it. It's not badly written, but it needs more variation in the structure. It sounds like it was written with intent of vocals, but there's still no change in the percussion to differentiate intro from verse, or to change the feel at any point during the verse. The bass also just kind of tags along with the guitar, sounding more like the low end of the instrument rather than adding anything of its own. Without the variation it ends up, while catchy, sounding like a generic mid paced thrashy riff that just kind of goes nowhere. Definitely keep working on it and building it up because the hook is catchy and works, it just needs to take on more depth and maybe one or two other riffs to give it more of a verse/chorus feel to make it sound more complete.
  9. First the music. So I didn't listen to the Undertale track or the Wario track as I don't know the source. I think the two Bowser's Castle themes work very well to me. They balance chill and menacing very well, and the trance-like vibe to them is awesome. I honestly can't really think of anything bad to say about them. Help Me didn't go over as well for me, but I think that's more personal taste than anything about your talent. Which leads me to your channel... these tracks paled next to the two Horizon tracks you have posted. I haven't gone into much of what you had up, but those two tracks were amazing. Seriously. the remixes are good, but I feel like those two songs are so much more engaging and show your talent much better. Second, as someone who suffers from severe depression I can relate to the creative frustration that comes up. I write my music as catharsis usually, and those feelings worm their way into every facet of the music that I make. When I hear what I've made I can relate to the feelings instantly, so when I have an inability to make people notice and react the same way it feels like I'm worthless since the music is an extension of self. I can't speak for everyone, but for me the writing/recording process is a very personal, often very painful process and when the results go nowhere, it's hard to keep doing it. You've got talent, you've got ability. I understand the feeling of futility, of desperation better than i ever wanted to. Keep making music, I subbed your youtube and I'd love to hear more originals at some point. If you need someone to talk to, someone to bounce ideas off, I can't promise I can give great advice, but I know what it's like to feel that way. Keep writing
  10. It feels like there's a solid concept here, and on the positive I do like the vibe from it. It does feel like it sticks fairly close to the source material, something I myself have a problem with. Really, my biggest critique is that the song feels like it goes nowhere and feels long for the sake of it. For me, there was far too much repetition. The only thing I remember from the song after having listened to it twice is the bass line, which mostly stuck because it played the same measure on repeat. In the source the bass line is used to drive the song, it sets the chord under the lead and helps push the rhythm. By having a punchy, loud bass with strings over it, the emphasis feels like it was pushed on the bass and doesn't carry the song. With so much focus on the bass, everything else kind of fades into the background as a kind of soupy mush of noise. My advice in general would be to lower the volume slightly on the bass, and maybe opt for a tone that's not so clicky on the attack. The drums also sound like they should be more distinct, right now it feels kind of like a rumble underneath the music. To combat the repetitive nature of the bass line I would experiment with more variation of instrumentation throughout, using tone to move the song rather to maybe feel minimalist to begin and more textured as it continues. As I said though, the vibe is great, and with some tweaks would be a chill, relaxing listen. Look forward to hearing more as it progresses
  11. Pretty simple track, I kept the instrumentation pretty similar to the original, just rewrote the song in 3.
  12. Third finished track of my vgm demo project. This one was written with the image of a tribal, arctic village. Children are running around, the men are fishing and the women are relaxing after lunch's prep and clean up, sunlight glancing off of the snow and water in a dazzling show. It's then coupled with a playful, easygoing sense of camaraderie like two close friends having a toast after a nice catch. Same thing, any critiques or advice are welcome.
  13. Second finished track of my vgm demo project. This one was written to the image of a small hamlet in the forest, still and quiet as a layer of mist and dew covers the ground at dawn, the light dim, just before everyone wakes up to go about the days business. I tried to capture that still feeling that early mornings seem to exude so well and marry it to an almost idyllic atmosphere. Any advice or critiques are completely welcome, always looking to improve myself.
  14. On Love Like You right now. Um, I'm going to start by saying I like what you're working with here, my critiques are going to be smaller things because so far I'm hearing the backbone of a pretty good pop song here. Mainly I think your voice should go slightly lower in the mix. Right now it doesn't quite overpower the rest, but because of its volume you can hear the slight imperfections very clearly. I wouldn't drop it much deeper in the mix, but just a very little would go a long way to blending yourself with the music more. Structurally I feel like there's a solid structure, and the vocal melody definitely carries the song well. On Constellations, love the guitar line, love the feel to it. I think on this track your voice is mixed much better into the track and sounds great. The biggest thing I would do is bring the percussion slightly higher in the mix since it gets buried a little under everything else going on. I think if I were writing it I would bring the percussion in earlier, possibly bring the throbbing bass in during the first chorus and adding more elements of percussion at the point you add the bass in after the first chorus. Everything sounds nice and warm though, and the build up to the last chorus works great. On Someone Worth Loving, I think this is easily the strongest of the three tracks. everything sounds right where it should be. Not much else to say, I think this one is great.If I had to offer an actual critique it may be about the genre of everything. I know you've got the singer/songwriter/folkish vibe going on but I think during the last chorus for this one, a lightly distorted or overdriven guitar would sound great coming in then over the clean tone to further build up the intensity of the music. Overall I think it sounds great, hope you get the attention you deserve.
  • Create New...