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Fat Princess!


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Fat Princess is finally out on PSN. And it is bloody fun.


Fat Princess puts the player on a team consisting of up to 32 male and female cartoon characters, with the main goal in the game to rescue their team's princess held captive by an opposing team, although team-deathmatch and other online modes are also available. The player can choose from ten dessert-themed levels such as Coco Cliffs and Black Forest.

At the beginning of the game, each of the teams will already have their opponent's princess held captive. In order to make their opponent's task in rescuing her more difficult, the player can give more and more food to the princess they have captured, so that she will become fatter and heavier, and the opponent's team will need larger number of players to carry her.

The game's mechanics have the player control a standard 3D, cel-shaded, character at the fort, castle, or stronghold. There are five machines at the player's fort, each producing hats. Depending on which hat gets picked up and put on, the player gets different abilities. The game consists of five classes: the mage, priest, warrior, worker and ranger. Each has its own set of unique weapons and play style. Every class has two weapons or abilities available. The warrior can use a stronger blade, or a sword and shield. The worker is able to use his axe to gather resources, or his bombs if he wants to deal more damage to enemy player. The mage is able to transform himself into either Fire or Ice wizard, while the Priest can become a Dark Priest, blocking his healing powers, but allowing him to deal damage to opponent players. The ranger is able to use either gunpowder rifle, or a bow and an arrow. Each attack or ability can be made more powerful by holding the square button. Holding the square button, for example, allows the mage to make an area of effect attack, which deals damage to all enemy players in his proximity.

The players are able to upgrade their hat producing machines to enhance the strength and abilities of each individual classes. In order to upgrade a certain machines, players must use resources, gathered by workers. The resources are wood and stone, which are gathered outside of castle walls.


There are five classes total, excluding the Peasant. Each class has two tiers (T1 and T2) of abilities. You start with T1 abilities, and the Worker can upgrade you to T2 by farming resources and upgrading the respective hat generator for the class. You can then switch between T1 and T2 on the fly by the push of a button. Each class also has varying abilities, depending on if you charge your attack or not, and if you currently have a target or not. Also, some classes have differing health values, represented by little hearts.


This is your starting class, armed with only 2 hearts and your fists. Not very effective for anything other than running cake to the princess, as this is the fastest class in the game. There is no T2 peasant.


The Warrior starts with a simple sword and a shield, with a standard sword swipe attack. His charge attack makes him do a spin with his sword (think Link's UP-B in SSB), and he can block incoming projectiles by holding up his shield and facing them. His T2 upgrade gives him a Halberd, which does more damage than the sword, has longer range, and has a charge attack that literally charges you at the enemy target very quickly, doing substantial damage. This class has the most HP of any of the classes with 6 hearts


This guy is your typical archer class, and he starts with a simple bow and arrow. The arrows can be temporarily lit on fire to do extra damage by either having a Mage light them up for you, or by lighting them yourself at a torch. His bow has extremely long range, and can even manage to kill people that are off-screen if you're good. His T2 upgrade gives him a shotgun which has an extremely slow reload and short range; however, a fully charged shotgun blast to the face is very deadly. The Ranger has 5 hearts.


The caster archetype, the Mage, is the AOE damage king. He starts with fire magic, which can either shoot a fireball if you have a target, or blasts an AOE fire wave around the Mage if he does not. In itself, a fully charged AOE blast does not do very much damage, but get a few Mages together casting at the same time, fully charged, and you're looking at some serious hurt. The T2 upgrade for the Mage gives him access to ice magic, which also has single target and AOE variations. The single target attack does minor damage and slightly slows the enemy temporarily, and the AOE one freezes all nearby enemies in place for a few seconds - extremely useful for helping get enemies off a Princess that your team is trying to grab.

Also, upgrading the Mage to T2 creates a potion spawn in your base that anyone can come and pick up. You can't perform any actions (other than movement) while carrying a potion, and they act as mini-bombs that explode a few seconds after being thrown. Upon exploding, anyone nearby (including allies) is temporarily turned into a chicken, which is extremely fast but only has 1 heart. The Mage has 4 hearts.


Probably the most important class on the team, the Worker gathers resources, upgrades other classes, upgrades your base, and builds objects (ladders, springs, catapults, etc) that aid in invading the enemy's base. You start with just a small axe that does very little damage to enemies, but is required to gather resources. You can swing at a tree/ore node a few times to have a log/ore fall out, which you can return to your base to have it placed in your team funds (everyone on your team shares the same funds). You can then use these resources to upgrade various parts of your base, including the class hat generators. The T2 Worker has a small bomb that he can throw at enemies to do damage.

Also, like the Mage, upgrading the Worker to T2 creates a spawn in your base that generates very large bombs that explode roughly 10 seconds after you pick them up. They do devastating damage, and are very good for defense. Another use for them is you can have several people pick up a bomb, jump into the catapult, and launch into the enemy base. By the time you land, you should have a few seconds left before your bomb goes off, and you can do a lot of damage to the enemy team from right inside their own base. The Worker has 4 hearts.


The Priest is like the Mage in that his abilities differ depending on whether or not he has a target. His default ability is a single target heal, which slowly regenerates a target over time. He can also charge up for a massive AOE heal if he does not have a target. Upgrading the Priest to T2 gives him access to dark magic. The single target dark magic spell drains life from an enemy and returns it to the Priest, down to 1 hp (it won't kill off the target). The Priest can also wack anyone with his staff at any time, which doesn't do very much damage, but is good for finishing someone off that you've been draining. The AOE dark spell is a mass disorient, and makes it difficult for anyone around the priest to control their characters temporarily. The Priest has 4 hearts.

This game is the best fifteen dollars I've ever spent on PSN. There have been some "day one" connectivity issues when trying to play online, but that will smooth out over time.

My PSN name is "sephfire". Looking forward to seeing you chaps out there.

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Unfortunately it seems like all the silly controversy around the game has coloured peoples' opinions on it in some form or another. Just like some people will buy it because of the controversy, some won't for the same reason, rather than any of the merits or faults in the game.

As for me, I'd probably give it a shot if I had a PS3.

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